字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 Eight dollars between the three of ya? What are you, baristas? Please don't kill us. -Please! -Please! No, no, I'm not gonna kill you because you're worth so much more alive. What the fuck is this? Hm? You don't have any names in your contact list. Special Guy from Candle Store? -Oh, don't call him. -But you put him in your phone. Well, I didn't wanna be rude. Fine, whatever. Ah, here we go. Mr. Obersect, is that your father? Ah no, that's an Uber driver. You know, you don't have to put every single number that you're offered into your phone. Well, I just moved here so I wanna make a network and - -Uh, fuck it! Okay, let's see what we have here. Um ... Uh ... What's with all the flames? I rate each woman one to four flames. -Ew! -Um, it's based on connection, not just sex. -You're terrible. -No. -Grant, you're the new Grant. -Don't you ever. -Okay, calling your dad. Let's hope he wants to keep you alive. -That's not my dad -Hey, you. -Come on. Why even have a phone? All of your contact lists are fucked up. I'm going to have a panic attack looking at these. You. Who in this phone will pay to keep you alive? My, my mom, my mom, my mom will! Which one of these is your mom's number? Oh god, ah, er, I'm not, like, 100 percent sure, she likes changes her sim card a lot. Honestly, I just let her call me, mostly. You have got to be kidding me. -Uh, just like send them all an SMS or something? -A what? An SMS. -An S.O.S.? We're on land. -Siobhan messaging system? -Maybe? Ooh, finally. Hello, I believe you are trying to reach Rekha. Well, if you ever want to see her ag - Yeah, I-I'm in downtown Los Angeles. Yeah, I'd love to contribute to the campaign. I mean, I have eight dollars on me now, but I could probably write you a check. Great. Yes, I have a lot of strong opinions. Thank you. Yeah, same to you, sir. Thank you. Was that a senator? It's important to stay informed and voice your opinions. Did he when the next Town Hall was, or - -Yeah, it's next Thursday. Can you make it? I might be dead. Good point. Shit. You have five contacts in here called "do not answer." Yeah, I don't talk to those people. Then why are they in your phone? I have to keep track of them. Oh my god! I will chop off one finger for every second that I do not have a ransom number. What, what about in case of emergencies? Yeah. -I'm your emergency contact? -Yeah, you're my friend. Why, what am I in your phone? "New girl from Work." -I've been here eight months. -You were the new girl when I met you. You're actually "new girl" in my phone too. Oh my god. This is the meanest thing anyone's ever done to me. Go, go, go! "Guy I'm working with." You don't have any real names in here either. Okay, actually, it's different because the people I work with don't give me their real names. Hey, what's up, it's Ally from CollegeHumor. Click here to subscribe. Click here to see some more cool stuff. And if you want to see a hot babe in the city, click here. I made that. This is what I like.