and, most importantly, to be isolated and singular. But the reality is that for many

而且，最重要的是，被孤立和單一化。但現實是，對許多人來說

of us, the illness will threaten to return for visits throughout our lives. It will be

在我們的一生中，這種疾病將威脅著我們的回訪。它將是

a condition to which we will be permanently susceptible. So the challenge isn't to learn

一個我們將永遠容易受到影響的條件。是以，挑戰並不是要學習

to survive only a one-off crisis; it's to set in place a framework that can help us

我們要做的是建立一個框架，幫助我們度過一次性的危機。

to manage our fragility over the long-term. Some of the following moves, practical and

來長期管理我們的脆弱性。以下的一些舉動，實際和

psychological, suggest themselves:

心理上，建議自己。

Acknowledgement

鳴謝

Being ready for a return of the illness will help us to calibrate our expectations and

為疾病的復發做好準備，將有助於我們調整我們的期望和

render us appropriately patient and unfrightened in the face of relapses. We fell ill over

使我們在面對復發時有適當的耐心和不慌不忙。我們生病了，因為

many years - our whole childhood might have been the incubating laboratory - and it will

多年來，我們的整個童年可能都是孵化實驗室，它將

therefore take us an age until we are impervious. We should expect to recover no more speedily

是以，我們需要一個時代，直到我們不受影響。我們應該期望能迅速恢復

than someone who has damaged a limb and probably a good deal more arduously, given how complicated

比起那些肢體受損的人，可能要付出更多的努力，因為這是很複雜的。

a mind is next to a femur or a tendon.

思想與股骨或肌腱相鄰。

Mental Management

心理管理

We need to be rigorous with our patterns of thinking. We cannot afford to let our thoughts

我們需要嚴格對待我們的思維模式。我們不能讓我們的思想

wander into any old section of the mind. There are thoughts that we need to nurture - about

徘徊在思想的任何舊部分。有些想法是我們需要培養的--關於

our worth, about our right to be, about the importance of keeping going, about self-forgiveness.

我們的價值，我們存在的權利，堅持下去的重要性，自我寬恕。

And there are thoughts we should be ruthless in chasing out - about how some people are

而有些想法我們應該無情地追尋出來--關於有些人是如何

doing so much better than us, about how inadequate and pitiful we are, about what a disappointment

做得比我們好得多，關於我們是多麼的不足和可憐，關於我們是多麼的令人失望

we have turned out to be. The latter aren't even 'thoughts,' they have no content

我們已經變成了。後者甚至不是 "思想"，它們沒有內容。

to speak of, they cannot teach us anything new. They are really just instruments of torture

來說，它們不能教給我們任何新東西。它們實際上只是折磨人的工具

and symptoms of a difficult past.

和困難的過去的症狀。

A Support Network

一個支持網絡

A decent social life isn't, for the mentally fragile, a luxury or piece of entertainment.

對於精神脆弱的人來說，體面的社交生活並不是一種奢侈品或娛樂品。

It is a resource to help us to stay alive. We need people to balance our minds when we

它是幫助我們保持活力的資源。我們需要人們來平衡我們的思想，當我們

are slipping. We need friends who will be soothing with our fears and not accuse us

正在滑落。我們需要那些能夠撫慰我們的恐懼而不是指責我們的朋友。

of self-indulgence or self-pity for the amount of time our illness has sequestered. It will

的自我放縱或自怨自艾，因為我們的疾病已經封存了多少時間。它將

help immensely if they have struggles of their own and if we can therefore meet as equal

如果他們有自己的掙扎，如果我們能是以以平等的方式見面，對他們有極大的幫助。

fellow ailing humans, as opposed to hierarchically separated doctors and patients.

同病相憐的人類，而不是等級分明的醫生和病人。

We'll need ruthlessness in expunging certain other people from our diaries, people who

我們需要無情地將某些其他人從我們的日記中刪除，這些人

harbour secret resentments against us, who are latently hostile to self-examination,

對我們懷有祕密的怨恨，他們對自我檢討有潛在的敵意。

who are scared of their own minds and project their fears onto us. A few hours with such

他們對自己的思想感到恐懼，並將他們的恐懼投射到我們身上。與這樣的人相處幾個小時

types can throw a shadow over a whole day; their unsympathetic voices become lodged in

這類人可以給一整天的生活帶來陰影；他們不懷好意的聲音會被留在我們的生活中。

our minds and feed our own ample stores of self-doubt. We shouldn't hesitate to socially

我們的頭腦和餵養我們自己充足的自我懷疑的儲存。我們應該毫不猶豫地在社會上

edit our lives in order to endure.

編輯我們的生活，以便忍耐。

Vulnerability

脆弱性

The impulse, when things are darkening, is to hide ourselves away and reduce communication.

當事情變得黑暗時，人們的衝動是把自己隱藏起來，減少交流。

We are too ashamed to do anything else. We should fight the tendency and, precisely when

我們太慚愧了，無法做其他事情。我們應該與這種趨勢作鬥爭，而且，恰恰是在

we cannot bear to admit what we are going through, we should dare to take someone into

我們不忍心承認自己的遭遇，就應該敢於把別人帶進我們的生活。

our confidence. Silence is the primordial enemy. We have to fight a permanent feeling

我們的信心。沉默是最原始的敵人。我們必須與一種永久的感覺作鬥爭

that we are too despicable to be looked after. We have to take a gamble on an always implausible

我們太卑鄙了，無法得到照顧。我們不得不在一個總是不可思議的情況下賭一把。

idea: that we deserve kindness.

理念：我們應該得到仁慈。

Love

愛

Love is ultimately what will get us through, not romantic love but sympathy, tolerance

愛是最終能讓我們度過難關的東西，不是浪漫的愛，而是同情、寬容

and patience. We'll need to watch our tendencies to turn love down from an innate sense of

和耐心。我們需要注意我們拒絕愛的傾向，因為我們有一種天生的感覺。

unworthiness. We wouldn't have become ill if it were entirely easy for us to accept

不值得。如果我們完全容易接受，我們就不會生病。

the positive attention of others. We'll have to thank those who are offering it and

別人的積極關注。我們要感謝那些提供它的人，並

make them feel appreciated in return - and most of all, accept that our illness was from

讓他們覺得自己受到了讚賞--最重要的是，接受我們的疾病是來自於

the outset rooted in a deficit of love and therefore that every encounter with the emotion

歸根結底是愛的缺失，是以，每一次與情感的接觸都是如此。

will strengthen our recovery and help to keep the darkness at bay.

將加強我們的康復，並幫助我們遠離黑暗。

Pills

丸劑

We would - ideally - of course prefer not to keep adding foreign chemicals to our minds.

我們--理想情況下--當然希望不要不斷向我們的頭腦中添加外國化學品。

There are side effects and the eerie sense of not knowing exactly where our thoughts

有一些副作用，以及不知道我們的想法到底在哪裡的陰森感覺。

end and alien neurochemistry begins. But the ongoing medicines set up guardrails around

結束，外來的神經化學開始。但是，正在進行的藥物設置了護欄，圍繞著

the worst of our mental whirlpools. We may have to be protected on an ongoing basis from

我們最糟糕的精神漩渦。我們可能必須持續地受到保護，以免遭

forces inside us that would prefer we didn't exist.

我們體內的力量，寧願我們不存在。

A Quiet Life

安靜的生活

We should see the glory and the grandeur that is present in an apparently modest destiny.

我們應該看到表面上謙遜的命運中所存在的榮耀和宏偉。

We are good enough as we are. We don't need huge sums of money or to be spoken of well

我們現在就已經很好了。我們不需要鉅額的資金，也不需要被人說好。

by strangers. We should take pride in our early nights and undramatic routines. These

被陌生的人。我們應該為我們的早睡早起和不慌不忙的生活習慣感到自豪。這些

aren't signs of passivity or tedium. What looks like a normal life on the outside is

並不是被動或乏味的表現。外表看起來很正常的生活是

a singular achievement given what we are battling within.

考慮到我們內心的爭鬥，這是一個奇異的成就。

Humour

幽默

There is no need for gravity. We can face down the illness by laughing heartily at its

不需要重力。我們可以面對疾病，對它發出由衷的笑聲。

evils. We are mad and cracked - but luckily so are many others with whom we can wryly

弊端。我們是瘋狂的、有裂痕的--但幸運的是，許多其他人也是如此，我們可以狡猾地與他們一起

mock the absurdities of mental life. We shouldn't, on top of everything else, accord our illness

嘲笑精神生活的荒謬性。我們不應該在其他事情上，把我們的疾病放在第一位。

too much portentous respect.

太多預示性的尊重。

We should be proud of ourselves for making it this far. It may have looked - at times

我們應該為自己能走到這一步而感到驕傲。它可能看起來--有時

- as if we never would. There might have been nights when we sincerely thought of taking

- 彷彿我們永遠不會這樣做。可能有一些夜晚，我們真誠地想到要採取

our own lives. Somehow we held on, we reached out for help, we dared to tell someone else

我們自己的生活。不知何故，我們堅持了下來，我們伸手尋求幫助，我們敢於告訴別人

of our problems, we engaged our minds, we tried to piece together our histories and

我們的問題，我們參與我們的思想，我們試圖拼湊我們的歷史和

to plot a more endurable future - and we started reading about what might be up with us.

以謀劃一個更持久的未來--我們開始閱讀關於我們可能會出現的情況。

We are still here, mentally ill no doubt at times, but more than ever committed to recovery,

我們仍然在這裡，有時精神上無疑是有問題的，但比以往任何時候都更致力於康復。

appreciative of the light, grateful for love, hungry for insight and keen to help anyone

欣賞光明，感激愛，渴望洞察力，熱衷於幫助任何人

else whose plight we can recognise. We are not fully well, but we are on the mend and

其他我們能認識到其困境的人。我們還沒有完全康復，但我們已經在康復中，而且

that, for now, is very much good enough.

就目前而言，這已經非常不錯了。