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  • There are arguments in which one person will get so upset that they start to behave in

    在一些爭論中,一方會非常生氣,以至於他們開始有以下行為

  • ways that range far beyond the imagined norms of civilised conduct: they speak in a highly

    他們說話的方式遠遠超出了想象中的文明行為準則:他們以一種高度的

  • pitched voice, they exaggerate, they weep, they beg, their words become almost incoherent;

    他們的聲音很高,他們誇張,他們哭泣,他們乞求,他們的話幾乎變得語無倫次。

  • they pull their own hair; they bite their own hand; they roll on the floor.

    他們拉自己的頭髮;他們咬自己的手;他們在地上打滾。

  • Unsurprisingly, it can become supremely tempting for their partner to assert that this dramatic

    不足為奇的是,他們的伴侶可能會變得極其誘人,聲稱這種戲劇性的

  • behaviour means they have evidently gone mad - and to close them down on this score. To

    行為意味著他們顯然已經瘋了--並以此為由關閉他們。對

  • press the point home, the unagitated partner may start to speak in a preternaturally calm

    如果你想讓對方明白你的意思,那麼你就可以用一種非常平靜的語氣說話。

  • way, as if addressing an unruly dog or a red-faced two year old. They may assert that, since

    就像對一隻不聽話的狗或一個紅臉的兩歲小孩說話一樣。他們可能斷言,由於

  • the partner has grown so unreasonable, there doesn't seem to be any point in continuing

    夥伴已經變得如此不講道理,似乎沒有任何意義繼續下去

  • the conversation - a conclusion which drives the distressed partner to further paroxysms

    談話--這個結論會促使痛苦的伴侶進一步痙攣

  • and convulsions.

    和抽搐。

  • It is natural to propose that the person who loses their temper in the course of an argument

    很自然地提出,在爭論過程中發脾氣的人

  • thereby loses any claim to credibility. Whatever point they may be trying to make seems automatically

    從而失去了任何可信度的要求。無論他們想表達什麼觀點,似乎都會自動地

  • to be invalidated by the fact that they are doing so while in a chaotic state. The only

    以至於他們在混亂狀態下這樣做的事實而無效。唯一的

  • priority seems to be to shift attention to how utterly awful and immature they are being.

    優先權似乎是為了將注意力轉移到他們是多麼的可怕和不成熟。

  • It is evident: the one who is calm is good; the one who is frothing and spluttering is

    顯而易見的是:平靜的人是好的;口沫橫飛的人是

  • a cretin.

    一個白痴。

  • Unfortunately, both partners end up trapped in an unproductive cycle that benefits neither

    不幸的是,夥伴雙方最終都陷入了一個無益的循環,對雙方都沒有好處。

  • of them. There's a moment when the calm one may turn and say: 'Since you are mad,

    的人。有一個時刻,平靜的人可能會轉身說:'既然你是瘋子。

  • there's no point in talking to you.' The awareness - in the raging lover's mind - that,

    和你說話沒有任何意義'。意識到--在洶湧澎湃的夫妻心中--那。

  • as they rant and flail, they are throwing away all possibility of being properly

    在他們咆哮和揮舞的時候,他們拋棄了所有正確的可能性。

  • attended to or understood feeds their ever mounting sense of panic: they become yet more

    越來越多的人關注或理解他們,使他們的恐慌感不斷增加:他們變得更加

  • demented and exaggerated, further undermining their credibility in the discussion. Hearing

    痴呆和誇張,進一步削弱了他們在討論中的可信度。聽證會

  • their condition diagnosed as insane by the calm one serves to reinforce a suspicion that

    他們的狀況被冷靜的人診斷為精神錯亂,這就加強了人們對他們的懷疑。

  • perhaps they really are mad, which in turn weakens their capacity not to be so. They

    也許他們真的瘋了,這反過來又削弱了他們不瘋的能力。他們

  • lose confidence that there might be any reasonable aspect to their distress which could (theoretically)

    失去信心,認為他們的苦惱可能有任何合理的方面,(理論上)可以

  • be explained in a clear way if only they could stop crying.

    只要他們能夠停止哭泣,就能得到明確的解釋。

  • 'I'm not going to listen to you any further if you keep making such a fuss,' the calm

    如果你繼續這樣大驚小怪,我就不會再聽你說下去了。

  • partner might go on to say - prompting ever more of precisely this 'fuss'. The frustrated

    夥伴可能會繼續說 - 恰恰是這種 "大驚小怪 "的情況越來越多。沮喪的人

  • one is gradually turned into a case study fit only for clinical psychology or a straight

    逐漸變成了只適合臨床心理學的案例研究或直接的

  • jacket. They are, as we might put it, pathologized, held up as someone who is actually crazy,

    外套。正如我們可以說的那樣,他們被病理化了,被當作真正的瘋子來看待。

  • rather than as an ordinary human who is essentially quite sane but has temporarily lost their

    而不是作為一個本質上相當理智但暫時失去理智的普通人。

  • self-possession on account of an extremely difficult situation.

    在極其困難的情況下,自我控制的能力。

  • On the other side of the equation, the person who remains calm is automatically cast - by

    在等式的另一面,保持冷靜的人自動被投--由

  • their own imperturbable nature and subtle skills at public relations - as decent and

    他們自己的平靜的天性和微妙的公共關係技巧--作為正派和

  • reasonable. But we should bear in mind that it is at least in theory entirely possible

    有道理。但我們應該牢記,至少在理論上是完全可能的

  • to be cruel, dismissive, stubborn, harsh and wrong - and keep one's voice utterly steady.

    殘忍、輕蔑、固執、苛刻和錯誤--並保持自己的聲音完全穩定。

  • Just as one can, equally well, be red-nosed, whimpering and incoherent - and have a point.

    就像一個人同樣可以是紅鼻子、嗚咽和語無倫次的--而且有道理。

  • We need to keep in mind a heroically generous attitude: rage and histrionics can be the

    我們需要牢記一種英雄般的寬厚態度:憤怒和喧囂可以是

  • symptoms of a desperation that sets in when a hugely important intimate truth is being

    當一個極其重要的私密真相被發現時,絕望的症狀就會出現。

  • blatantly ignored or denied, without the uncontrolled person being either evil or monstrous.

    公然無視或否認,而不受控制的人不是邪惡就是畸形。

  • Obviously the method of delivery is drastically unhelpful; obviously it would always be better

    顯然,交付的方法是急劇的無益的;顯然,它總是更好的

  • if we didn't start to cry. But it is not beyond understanding or, in theory at least,

    如果我們沒有開始哭泣。但這並不是無法理解,或者,至少在理論上。

  • forgiveness if we were to do so. It's horrible and frightening to witness someone getting

    如果我們要這樣做,就會得到寬恕。目睹有人被打,是很可怕的,也是令人恐懼的。

  • intensely worked up - but with the benefit of perspective, their inner condition calls

    激烈的工作--但在透視的好處下,他們的內在條件要求

  • for deep compassion rather than a lecture. We should remember that only someone who internally

    為深刻的同情心,而不是說教。我們應該記住,只有那些在內部

  • felt their life was in danger would end up in a mess in a discussion.

    感到自己的生命受到威脅的人,會在討論中落得個狼狽不堪。

  • We should keep this in mind because sometimes it will be us who fall into a deranged state;

    我們應該牢記這一點,因為有時會是我們自己陷入瘋狂的狀態。

  • we won't always be the aggrieved, cooler-headed party. We should all have a little film of

    我們不會永遠是受委屈、頭腦冷靜的一方。我們都應該有一部小電影的

  • ourselves at our very worst moments from which we replay brief highlights as we witness the

    在我們最糟糕的時刻,我們回放簡短的亮點,因為我們看到了

  • other frothing and shouting and so remember that while we ourselves looked mad, our contortions

    在我們自己看起來很瘋狂的時候,我們還記得我們自己的扭曲。

  • were only the outer signs of an inner agony at being unable to make ourselves understood

    這只是內心痛苦的外在表現,因為我們無法使自己得到理解。

  • on a crucial point by the person we relied on.

    在一個關鍵點上被我們所依賴的人拒絕。

  • We can stay calm with almost everyone in our lives. If we lose our temper with our partners,

    在我們的生活中,我們幾乎可以對所有人保持冷靜。如果我們對我們的夥伴發脾氣。

  • it is (at best, in part) because we are so invested in them and our joint futures. We

    這是(充其量是部分)因為我們對他們和我們的共同未來如此投入。我們

  • shouldn't invariably hold it against someone that they behave in a stricken way; it isn't

    不應該一成不變地認為某人的行為有問題;這不是

  • (probably) a sign that they are mad or horrible. Rather, as we should have the grace to remember,

    可能)是一個標誌,表明他們是瘋狂或可怕的。相反,正如我們應該有風度去記住的那樣。

  • it is just that they love and depend on us very much.

    只是他們非常愛和依賴我們。

There are arguments in which one person will get so upset that they start to behave in

在一些爭論中,一方會非常生氣,以至於他們開始有以下行為

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B1 中級 中文 冷靜 平靜 夥伴 行為 理論 削弱

當你的伴侶過於冷靜時的歇斯底里 (Hysteria When Your Partner Is Too Calm)

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    Summer 發佈於 2021 年 05 月 26 日
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