Just your friendly neighborhood, Spider Man.

只是你的友好鄰居，蜘蛛人。

Quick, they add the quick afterwards.

快，他們把快加在後面。

You don't need to do it yourself.

你不需要自己動手。

Sorry, I don't need to say it quick.

對不起，我不需要說得那麼快。

Okay, here we go.

好了，我們開始吧。

Hey, guys, Welcome to stir Crazy.

嘿，夥計們，歡迎來到瘋狂攪拌。

You may know my next guest as Huey from the boys.

你可能知道我的下一個客人是男孩們的Huey。

The Internet loves him almost as much as adorable cat videos.

網友們對他的喜愛幾乎和可愛的貓咪視頻一樣。

It's Jack Quaid.

是傑克-奎德

Hello.

你好啊

Hello, Josh.

你好，喬希

Thank you for having me.

謝謝你邀請我。

Congratulations on the boys, which has become this phenomenon.

恭喜男生，已經成為這種現象。

I mean, my sense on the boys is this is the kind of show you probably love.

我的意思是，我對男孩的感覺是，這是你可能喜歡的那種節目。

Even if you weren't on.

即使你不在

Is that fair to say for sure?

這樣的說法公平嗎？

I was like when I first read the scripts for the first season.

我就像我第一次讀第一季的劇本時一樣。

I was like, If I don't play Huey, I need to be involved in this project in some way.

我當時想，如果我不玩Huey，我需要以某種方式參與這個項目。

Did you know how much time you spend covered in blood when you signed up for this?

你知道你報名的時候，花了多少時間滿身是血嗎？

No.

不知道

No one told me they hid that from you, didn't they?

沒有人告訴我他們對你隱瞞了，不是嗎？

They don't lead with that.

他們不會用這個來引導。

They don't say by the way.

他們沒有說的方式。

No, they didn't.

不，他們沒有。

But it's kind of become my thing, which I never anticipated being a part of my life.

但這也算是成為了我的事情，我從來沒有預料到會成為我生活的一部分。

Do you feel naked when you don't have blood on you right now?

你現在身上沒有血的時候，會不會覺得自己很赤裸？

Do you feel exposed so exposed?

你覺得這麼暴露嗎？

I need the blood to get into character.

我需要血液來進入角色。

So a couple of months ago, we found out that one of your notable fans of the show was none other than Barack Obama.

所以，幾個月前，我們發現，你的一個顯著的粉絲的節目 沒有其他人比奧巴馬。

That was amazing.

太神奇了

The fact that he watches the show was just such an honor.

事實上，他看節目就是這樣的榮幸。

We're all still getting out about it.

我們都還在為這件事奔波。

Do you think this could lead to an actual friendship?

你認為這可能導致一個真正的友誼？

Do you have dreams of playing like Animal Crossing with Barack Obama?

你有夢想和奧巴馬一起玩《動物世界》嗎？

Like, What's the dream, though?

比如，夢想是什麼，雖然？

That'd be amazing.

這將是驚人的。

What video game would I want to play with Barack Obama?

我想和奧巴馬玩什麼電子遊戲？

That's a super smash, bro's Just because I don't know you know how.

這是一個超級粉碎，兄弟的 只是因為我不知道你知道如何。

Because with him, I didn't expect him to watch the boys.

因為和他在一起，我不指望他能看住男生。

So maybe out of nowhere, he's just like a really good super smash brothers player.

所以，也許從哪兒冒出來的，他就像一個非常優秀的超級粉碎兄弟玩家。

You obviously don't get to be an actual superhero in the show, but I want to give you opportunities going forward.

你顯然不能在劇中成為一個真正的超級英雄，但我想給你機會前進。

We want to create your superhero audition mixtape.

我們想為你製作超級英雄試聽帶。

Let's start with that man.

先從那個人開始吧。

Oh, man.

哦，夥計。

Okay, I'm ripping off Christian Bale.

好吧，我從克里斯蒂安-貝爾那裡剽竊來的。

I'm Batman and Uhh!

我是蝙蝠俠，呃！

Somebody stole my falafel.

有人偷了我的沙拉三明治

It was right here on top of this building, which maybe just fell down, but I think somebody stole it.

它就在這棟樓的頂部，也許只是倒下了，但我認為有人偷了它。

All right, That was That was No, That was a deleted scene from Dark Knight.

好吧，那是... ...不，那是《黑暗騎士》中被刪除的一幕。

I remember that one.

我記得那個。

Another icon, Superman.

另一個偶像，超人。

What would your Superman be?

你的超人會是什麼？

Jack?

傑克？

Hello.

你好啊

I'm Superman and I fight for truth, Justice and the American way.

我是超人，我為真理、正義和美國的方式而戰。

Kryptonite is a thing.

氪石是一種東西。

I had a falafel here a second ago.

我剛才在這裡吃了一個沙拉三明治。

Where?

哪兒？

Jack.

傑克。

Jack?

傑克？

No, no, I'm sorry.

不，不，我很抱歉。

Sorry.

對不起，我不知道

Are you hungry?

你餓了嗎？

Do you just need superheroes?

你只是需要超級英雄嗎？

They love falafel.

他們喜歡沙拉三明治

Got it?

明白了嗎？

Got it.

我知道了

Let's go, Marvel.

我們走吧，漫威。

Let's go.

我們走吧

Let's do Spider Man.

讓我們做蜘蛛俠。

Hey, it's me.

嘿，是我

Just your friendly neighborhood, Spider Man.

只是你的友好鄰居，蜘蛛人。

Three quick fuck!

三次快速性交！

They add the quick afterwards.

他們在之後添加了快。

You don't need to do it yourself.

你不需要自己動手。

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉

I don't need to say it quick.

我不需要說得那麼快。

Okay, here we go.

好了，我們開始吧。

Uncle Ben, He's dead.

本叔，他已經死了。

It me.

是我

I had a falafel right on the edge of the right.

我在右邊的邊緣吃了一個沙拉三明治。

So sorry with this bit.

所以對不起與這一點。

It's so bad that we're riding the falafel wave.

太糟糕了，我們正乘著沙拉三明治的浪潮。

Stop now.

現在停止。

Let's see what Wonder woman has to say about falafel.

讓我們看看神奇女俠對沙拉三明治有什麼看法。

Let's see.

讓我看看

You're Wonder Woman Jack.

你是神奇女俠傑克

Well, okay.

好吧，好吧。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

I'm gonna find out who fucking stole my falafel.

我要找出是誰他媽的偷了我的沙拉三明治。

Did you steal my level?

你偷了我的水準嗎？

You steal my goddamn That's all I got.

你偷走了我該死的，這就是我的全部。

She's really intense.

她真的很緊張。

I wonder Woman is really intense.

我不知道女人真的很激烈。

Yeah, Reggie, How about Wolverine?

是啊，雷吉，金剛狼怎麼樣？

Immediately.

馬上。

I did like a Robert Robert DeNiro face, so I'm just gonna go with a hey, Bob.

我確實喜歡羅伯特-德尼羅的臉，所以我就來個嘿，鮑勃。

I can heal pretty fast Them say, Uhh.

我的傷口癒合得很快 他們會說，呃...

I don't feel too fast.

我不覺得太快了。

You know what I say?

你知道我說什麼嗎？

I'm never going to be a superhero in my life.

我這輩子都不會成為超級英雄。

I've ruined your career.

我毀了你的事業

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉

Do you ever do you ever get mistaken for other cell abstract?

你有沒有被誤認為是其他細胞抽象？

I've gotten Adam Brody.

我已經得到了亞當-布洛迪。

I've gotten rain, Wilson.

我下過雨了，威爾遜

I've gotten Joel McHale.

我已經得到了喬爾-麥克海爾。

Oh, Michael Shannon is the other one.

哦，邁克爾-香農是另一個。

This is an honor.

這是我的榮幸

Well, we've taken the liberty of seeing what?

好吧，我們已經冒昧地看到了什麼？

That that the child of all those men would actually look like, Let's see, with some face morphing technology, if it actually looks like you.

那所有男人的孩子實際上會是什麼樣子，讓我們看看，用一些臉部變形技術，如果它實際上看起來像你。

So there's rain.

所以有雨。

We start with rain, and then we add a little bill hater.

我們先從雨開始，然後再加上一個小鈔票仇人。

I think in right there was another one.

我想在右邊還有一個。

Sure.

當然可以

Sure.

當然可以

Then a little Michael Shannon.

然後再來點邁克爾-香農。

Yeah.

是啊。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

And now let's let's add some more in some Joshua Jackson.

現在讓我們再加一些在一些約書亞-傑克遜。

Some Brody some cold.

有些布羅迪有些冷。

His face just keeps getting so much smaller.

他的臉越來越小了

What do you What do you think?

你覺得呢？

That's what I like.

這就是我喜歡的。

Oh, no.

哦，不

Oh, it's It's drooping, Jack.

哦，是... ...它在下垂，傑克。

Are those other lips?

那是其他的嘴脣嗎？

Are those like, What is that?

是那些像，那是什麼？

Let's see when you match them all up.

看你什麼時候把他們都配齊了。

Finally, this is the final product is what it would actually, Yeah.

最後，這是最終的產品是什麼 它實際上會，是的。

Yeah, that's basically it.

是的，基本上就是這樣。

I see it in a nutshell.

我看一言以蔽之。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

The other day my job came off and it was really bro.

前幾天，我的工作脫胎換骨，真是兄弟。

You probably are aware of this.

你可能知道這一點。

You must be aware of this check.

你一定要注意這個檢查。

The Internet does have a preoccupation with you.

互聯網確實對你有一種預感。

Are you aware that of this, like Instagram celebrity gossip site de moi and how they just talk about you constantly?

你是否知道，這一點，像Instagram名人八卦網站de moi和他們如何只是談論你不斷？

My friends tell me about it.

我的朋友告訴我的。

The way they pitched it to me was there's this gossip site that yeah, telling people that you're a nice guy.

他們向我推銷的方式是有一個八卦網站，是的，告訴人們你是一個好人。

I'm like, Cool.

我很喜歡，酷。

I want to see if you have what it takes to be the Internet's next boyfriend.

我想看看你是否有能力成為互聯網的下一個男朋友。

Because there are certain things you have to satisfy to be an Internet boyfriend.

因為做網戀男友必須要滿足一些條件。

Okay, I'm the boyfriend of the entire Internet.

好吧，我是整個互聯網的男朋友。

That's not gonna work out but let's give it a try.

這是不可能的，但我們可以試試。

Can you be like intellectual but playful, like Shalem style like you're super smart, but you kind of like I don't think I'm smart, but I could be playful.

你能不能像智力型的，但又很俏皮，像沙林式的，像你超級聰明，但你有點像我不認為我很聰明，但我可以很俏皮。

Okay, okay, I don't know that.

好吧，好吧，我不知道。

This is why this is why I'm not the Internet boyfriend because I make that move.

這就是為什麼我不是網戀男友的原因，因為我做了這個動作。

I'll do this.

我會做這個。

This satisfies the Internet.

這滿足了互聯網。

I'll do this.

我會做這個。

Will you adopt a British accent like to be like a Hiddleston or Cumberbatch?

你會不會像希德勒斯頓或坎伯巴奇那樣採用英國口音？

Because that always works.

因為那總是有效的。

Sure, it's not going to be good, but I'll do it.

當然，這不會是好事，但我會做的。

Let's hear it.

讓我們聽聽吧

I want to hear it.

我想聽到它。

Oh, no.

哦，不

Hello there.

你好啊

It's not going to be good.

這不會是好事。

Fuck, It's not good.

他媽的，這不是很好。

I'm swearing a lot.

我說了很多髒話

Can I do that?

我可以這樣做嗎？

Yes.

是的，我知道

Are you willing to change your first name to Chris?

你願意把你的名字改成克里斯嗎？

Because most of Internet boyfriends are named Chris Chris Quaid.

因為大多數網友的男朋友都叫克里斯-克里斯-奎德。

Chris Quaid is like a country musician.

克里斯-奎德就像一個鄉村音樂人。

Sure, I'll change my first name to Chris Short.

當然，我會把我的名字改成克里斯-肖特。

I'm very excited about your next shrouded in mystery project.

我很期待你的下一個神祕項目。

You've shot the new screen movie, which I'm very excited about it, too.

你拍了新的銀幕電影，我也很期待。

So it's not called screen five.

所以這不叫屏風五。

It's a little confusing, Jack, Let's be honest It's called screen.

有點混亂，傑克，老實說，這叫 "螢幕

It's called Scream.

這就是所謂的 "尖叫"。

It's called Scream.

這就是所謂的 "尖叫"。

Did people on set where people just calling it scream.

難道人在片場，人們只是叫它尖叫。

What?

什麼？

Did you have a vote on?

你有投票嗎？

What it should be called?

應該叫什麼？

No.

不知道

On set.

在片場。

We called it five cream because we thought, if you look at it, spelled out like the S is a five, you know?

我們叫它五號奶油，因為我們認為，如果你看它，拼出的S是一個五，你知道嗎？

So we called it.

所以我們叫它。

We called it five cream, and we still call it five cream.

我們叫它五霜，現在還是叫它五霜。

Uh, and the joke never stopped to the point where Oh, my God, I have it right here on my phone.

呃，這個笑話從來沒有停止過，以至於哦，我的上帝，我有它就在我的手機上。

Hold on.

等一下

I had my friend make this T shirt as a wrapped gift, Ghostface holding up five creams.

我讓朋友做了這件T桖作為包裝禮物，鬼臉舉著五個奶油。

And yeah, I'm gonna keep that to here forever.

是的，我要把它永遠保存在這裡。

I mean, I feel like if nothing else, it should be the new flavor at Ben and Jerry's.

我的意思是，我覺得如果沒有別的， 它應該是新的味道 在Ben和傑瑞的。

The five cream?

五霜？

Yes, this face, as any kind of like sweet treat spokesman is just incredible for me.

是的，這張臉，作為任何一種像甜食的代言人，我都覺得不可思議。

I know you can't say anything about your role.

我知道你對自己的角色不能說什麼。

Is it fair to say you at least, do you scream?

可以說，你至少，你會尖叫嗎？

How are you as a screamer, a new screen queen?

作為一個尖叫者，一個新的銀幕女王，你是如何的？

I definitely scream and scream in five cream.

我肯定會在五霜中尖叫和尖叫。

It's an interesting thing like the horror movie scream.

這是一個有趣的事情，就像恐怖片的尖叫。

You can't rehearse it too much.

你不能排練太多。

It just has to come out of you.

它只是必須從你身上出來。

We do, actually.

事實上，我們有。

Something on the show sometimes called primal scream therapy.

節目中的一些東西有時被稱為原始尖叫療法。

Should we try it?

我們要不要試試？

Should we just see what?

我們應該只看什麼？

But you just said not to overthink it.

但你剛才說不要想太多。

What do we do?

我們該怎麼做？

We do scare me over Zoom.

我們確實比Zoom嚇到我了。

I haven't yet looking down at my phone.

我還沒有低頭看手機。

Nothing's wrong.

沒什麼問題。

Mm.

嗯。

Yeah.

是啊。

Sorry.

對不起，我不知道

Everyone in my building, another urine.

我樓裡的各位，又是一泡尿。

All these things I love Star Trek.

這些東西我都喜歡《星際迷航》。

I was a big Star Trek fan growing up.

我從小就是個星際迷。

Were you a Star Trek guy?

你是星際迷航的人嗎？

Like Did you know An and Dorian from a Gorn before getting involved in Star Trek lower decks?

就像你在參與《星際迷航》下層劇組之前，是否認識戈恩的安和多裡安？

I remember going on like a date in high school to the first one, and it was just just peek awkward Me.

我記得高中的時候，我就像約會一樣去參加了第一次的約會，那只是偷看尷尬的我。

Well, now I have no Star Trek questions.

好了，現在我沒有星際迷航的問題了。

I just want to focus on awkward Jack, uh, that I'm curious about.

我只想專注於尷尬的傑克，呃，我很好奇。

Let's let's let's dive deep into that part.

讓我們讓我們深入到這部分。

So what was what was awkward jacket, the that star Trek like awkward jacket?

那麼，什麼是什麼是尷尬的外套，那個星際迷航一樣的尷尬外套？

Star Trek was was cystic acne that he thought he could cover up with, like makeup.

星際迷航》是是囊腫性痤瘡，他認為可以用化妝品來掩蓋。

He probably stole from his mom's bathroom or something.

他可能是從他媽媽的浴室裡偷來的什麼東西。

Um, and it was like a powder, and it was just like, flaking off of him all the time and everyone noticed.

嗯，這就像一個粉末， 它只是喜歡，剝落他所有的時間 和大家注意到。

Awkward.

尷尬的。

Jack loves dancing but didn't know how to do it.

傑克喜歡跳舞，但不知道怎麼跳。

I like the idea of an enthusiastic dancer is not aware of.

我喜歡一個熱情的舞者的想法是不知道的。

How should he had answer.

他該如何回答。

They are, that's That's horrifying.

他們是，那是可怕的。

That's a shitty dancer.

這是一個低劣的舞者。

But I There was a lot of this, and I don't know what I think.

但我... ...有很多這樣的事，我不知道自己怎麼想。

This is dynamite.

這是炸藥。

I've got some.

我有一些。

Would you rather questions for you?

你願意為你提問嗎？

Would you rather chug whale guts or chug compound V Chuck Compound V See what happens?

你是想喝鯨魚膽還是喝複合V 查克復合V 看看會發生什麼？

I'm sick of whale guts.

我受夠了鯨魚的內臟。

Would you rather live inside the Scream universe or the Hunger Games Universe scream because you just you just leave Woods.

你願意活在《尖叫》宇宙裡面還是《飢餓遊戲》宇宙裡面尖叫，因為你只是你只是離開伍茲。

Perot is the new screen movie.

佩羅是新的銀幕電影。

Just five minutes.

就五分鐘

You just get in the car and leave.

你只要上車就走。

You're like Wait, this was easy.

你會說，等等，這很容易。

I do the primal scream I did for you earlier, right?