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  • true story because of the pandemic.

    真實的故事,因為疫情。

  • More people are staying home.

    越來越多的人呆在家裡。

  • That makes sense, right?

    這是有道理的,對嗎?

  • And guess what they're doing.

    你猜他們在做什麼?

  • They're staying home.

    他們呆在家裡。

  • And according to studies, they're eating cereal for breakfast.

    而根據研究,他們早餐吃的是麥片。

  • This is all true.

    這都是事實。

  • A lot of people eating cereal, and as a result, there's a nationwide shortage of grape nuts.

    很多人吃麥片,結果全國範圍內都缺葡萄果。

  • Cereal.

    穀類。

  • It's kind of surprising.

    這是一種令人驚訝的。

  • Well, what did you just say?

    那麼,你剛才說什麼?

  • I said, It's kind of surprising that all these people know not that park Goddammit, What did you say about grape nuts?

    我說,這些人竟然都不知道那個公園,該死的,你說什麼葡萄果?

  • Oh, well, it's a true story.

    哦,好吧,這是一個真實的故事。

  • It actually made the New York Times check it out.

    居然讓《紐約時報》查到了。

  • The company that makes great nuts said there's a product shortage because they've actually had a problem.

    做棒棒糖的公司說產品短缺,是因為他們真的出現了問題。

  • Yeah, of course there is.

    是的,當然有。

  • I mean, I should have seen this coming.

    我的意思是,我應該預見到這一點。

  • Oh, you really screwed the pooch this time, Andy.

    哦,你這次真的搞砸了,安迪。

  • Stupid, stupid, stupid.

    愚蠢,愚蠢,愚蠢。

  • It's fine, Andy.

    沒事的,安迪。

  • It's just cereal, just a serial.

    只是麥片,只是一個連環畫。

  • I defy you to find anything as loud and is painful to eat with less flavor than grape nuts.

    我不服氣,你還能找到什麼東西比葡萄籽聲音大,吃起來痛快,味道還不如葡萄籽。

  • There's no other breakfast food in the world that makes me wonder if I'm swallowing my own teeth and go on name and other cereal that you can use to start a Terreri.

    世界上沒有其他的早餐食品,讓我懷疑自己是不是在吞牙,去名字和其他麥片,你可以用它來啟動一個Terreri。

  • Um, alright, sure.

    嗯,好吧,當然。

  • Andy, you're right.

    安迪,你是對的。

  • Grape nuts does all those things.

    葡萄果能做這些事情。

  • But what are you doing now, Andy?

    但你現在在做什麼,安迪?

  • I'm trying to score a few boxes on the dark Web.

    我想在暗網上進幾個箱子。

  • Damn it!

    該死的!

  • It's too late.

    太晚了

  • There's nothing left with heroin.

    海洛因已經沒有什麼了。

  • Add to cart.

    添加到購物車。

  • Oh, come on, Andy.

    哦,來吧,安迪。

  • You're overreacting to this whole thing.

    你對這件事反應過度了。

  • Look, it's not just me.

    你看,這不僅僅是我。

  • It's the 50,000 users who follow my daily instagram feed.

    就是每天關注我instagram的5萬用戶。

  • Great nuts, sunsets.

    偉大的堅果,日落。

  • See, that's in Fiji.

    看,那是在斐濟。

  • And that is Kilimanjaro in the background.

    而背景就是乞力馬扎羅山。

  • Wow, That's beautiful, Andy.

    哇,那是美麗的,安迪。

  • But don't you think it's time to move on?

    但你不覺得是時候繼續前進了嗎?

  • Well, it's easy for you to say.

    好吧,你說的很容易。

  • You've never loved anything the way I've loved grape nuts.

    你從來沒有像我喜歡葡萄果那樣喜歡任何東西。

  • I have two Children.

    我有兩個孩子。

  • Well, I hope you hug him tonight because I just learned your life can change in an instant.

    好吧,我希望你今晚能抱抱他,因為我剛剛知道你的生活可以在瞬間改變。

  • One minute you're sitting pretty with a belly full of undigested ble grape nuts and then bam!

    前一分鐘,你還坐在漂亮的肚子裡,滿滿的都是未消化的葡萄籽,然後咣噹一聲!

  • Darkness.

    黑暗。

  • I hate you!

    我恨你!

  • God!

    天啊!

  • Hey, Andy.

    嘿,安迪。

  • Good news.

    好消息。

  • According to this article, the grape nuts shortages only till March.

    根據這篇文章,葡萄籽的短缺只到3月。

  • You'll have your grape nuts back next month.

    下個月你就可以拿回你的葡萄果了。

  • Yeah, Thanks a lot, Conan, but I'm not waiting around to get my heart broken.

    是啊,謝謝你,柯南,但我可不想等著被傷透心。

  • again.

    再次。

  • I'm making my own grape nuts cereal out of peanut shells and coffee grounds.

    我在用花生殼和咖啡渣做自己的葡萄堅果麥片。

  • Okay, Well Oh, my God.

    好吧,好吧,哦,我的上帝。

  • That hooks hurt bad.

    那鉤子傷得很重。

  • Oh, Andy.

    哦,安迪。

  • Now this magazines fake, We made it for the skin.

    現在這本雜誌是假的,我們是為皮膚做的。

  • Hey, we got a great show.

    嘿,我們有一個偉大的節目。

  • Colin Quinn's gonna be joining us.

    科林-奎恩會加入我們的行列。

  • We'll take a break.

    我們要休息一下。

  • We'll be right back.

    我們馬上回來。

  • Richter, your Kuku.

    里克特,你的庫庫。

  • You bet you go at.

    你打賭,你去在。

true story because of the pandemic.

真實的故事,因為疫情。

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