Hell no.

當然不是

So tonight, during our epic guys night.

所以今晚，在我們的史詩般的男人之夜，

You, me and Zeke are going to become men.

你、我和齊克都要成為男人了。

And it all starts by turning this little boy's room

而這一切都從改變這個小男孩的房間開始。

into a man cave.

變成了一個人洞。

Nothing says man cave like a sexy-ass cartoon girl

沒有什麼比一個性感的卡通女孩更適合男人的洞穴了。

that skews our perception of how real women look.

歪曲了我們對女性真實面貌的看法。

- Yeah and look at that ass.

- 是啊，看那屁股。

- Dang Junior, you have been extra spicy lately.

- 堂堂少年，你最近特別辣。

You all right?

你沒事吧？

- Grandma and Stacy under one roof.

- 奶奶和史黛西在同一個屋簷下。

They're bulls, man.

他們是牛，男人。

And I'm the goddam rodeo clown getting bragged on.

而我就是那個被人吹噓的該死的競技小丑。

- What's up (beep) heads?

- 怎麼了

- [Both] Hey!

- 嘿！

- Dudes, I found some crazy porn on the dark web

- 夥計們，我在暗網發現了一些瘋狂的色情片。

or as it's called in my country, the regular internet.

或者在我國叫常規網絡。

- Do you guys feel that?

- 你們感覺到了嗎？

An F5 Bro-NATO is about to touch down.

一架F5 Bro -NATO即將著陸。

Papa Blark is out for the night,

布拉克老爹今晚不在

laser tagging with Fletch, Zeke and Clutch

與Fletch，Zeke和Clutch的脈衝光標籤。

with the dark web porn

暗網色情

and Junior, now daddy wants his box wine.

和少年，現在爸爸要他的盒酒。

- Hell yeah, I need this.

- 是啊，我需要這個。

- When I come back,

- 當我回來的時候

I want to get a sunburn from all the radiating heat off

我想晒傷，因為所有的輻射熱量關閉。

y'all's big penis energy.

你們的大陰莖能量。

- Son, out.

- 兒子，出。

- Mr. Pockets?

- 口袋先生？

- Well hello there, Son.

- 你好，兒子。

- I remember you.

- 我記得你。

I missed you.

我很想你

- Why sure do hope so.

- 為什麼肯定希望如此。

You and I were closer than a sock and a shoe.

你和我的關係比襪子和鞋子還親密。

Sweet heavenly biscuits, how you've grown.

甜甜的天堂餅乾，你是如何成長的。

I missed you more than a dried up sunflower

我比向日葵還想你。

misses a rainy day.

錯過了一個雨天。

- Son, you coming?

- 兒子，你來嗎？

It's time to crank that waste snake.

是時候搖動那條廢蛇了。

- Son! - Not now, Dad.

- 兒子！- 現在不行，爸爸

- My son. - Get out!

- 我的兒子- 滾出去！

- I love you, son!

- 我愛你，兒子！

- Mr. Pockets, I really want to hang with you,

- 口袋先生，我真的很想和你一起玩。

but you kind of caught me at a weird time.

但你那種抓住我 在一個奇怪的時間。

Just wait here for like one second and I will be right back.

就在這裡等一秒鐘，我馬上回來。

- Dang Junior, you are pushing the man-o-meter to 11.

- 堂堂的Junior，你把人際關係表推到了11。

- I'm the coolest man on the block.

- 我是這個街區最酷的人。

You (beep) sucking, (beep) shepards.

你(嗶)吸，(嗶)羊倌。

- You look like cool guy who stands at my country border

- 你看起來就像一個站在我國家邊境的酷哥

to make us look fun from outside.

以使我們從外面看起來很有趣。

Oh (beep) me.

哦（嗶）我。

This file is 752 gigs of pure crash porn mayhem.

這個文件是752gigs的純崩潰色情混亂。

- Crash porn, it that like people kissing really hard?

- 撞車色情片，這就像人們接吻真的很難？

- It's basic dark web bestiality disaster pornography, Son.

- 這是基本的暗網獸性災難色情片，兒子。

Usually starts with dude who wants to (beep) exotic animal,

通常以想要（嗶）異國動物的花花公子開始。

but then bad accident happen

禍不單行

and everyone and I mean, everyone (beep)

每個人，我的意思是，每個人（嗶嗶聲）

- Hell yeah, Zek,

- 是的，澤克,

that sounds like so dope.

這聽起來像如此塗料。

That is definitely, exactly what I had in mind.

這絕對是，正是我心中所想。

I forgot my jack off stuff in my room,

我把打飛機的東西忘在房間裡了。

so I'm gonna be right back with my jack off stuff.

所以我馬上就會回來與我的插孔關閉的東西。

- Okay, I've only got a few minutes,

- 好吧，我只有幾分鐘的時間。

I was thinking we could either play haunted dogs

我在想，我們可以玩鬧鬼狗的遊戲

or paper farmers

或紙農

since I don't have sheriff Jeffery's badge anymore.

因為我沒有傑弗裡警長的徽章了。

- Well, the sky ain't blue,

- 天空不是藍色的

that badge ain't around here somewhere.

徽章是不是在這裡的某個地方。

- (gasp) What?

- （喘氣）什麼？

- Now Sheriff, them gofer brothers

- 現在，警長，那幫兄弟們

done found the town's gold stash.

發現了鎮上的金子藏匿處。

- Them gofers gonna be sorry

- 那些傢伙會後悔的

they messed with sheriff Jeffreys.

他們惹上了傑弗里斯警長。

(playful music)

(俏皮音樂)

(laughter)

（笑聲）

- Oh son, I almost forgot

- 孩子，我差點忘了

how hanging with you makes me happier than a hound dog

和你在一起，我比獵狗還開心。

nomming on a bone.

在骨頭上提名。

- You want to know what makes me happier

- 你想知道是什麼讓我更開心嗎？

than a hound dog nomming on a bone?

比獵狗啃骨頭還厲害？

- Mr. Pockets and me.

- 口袋先生和我。

Part of my family.

我家的一部分。

The best bud I've ever known.

我所知道的最好的芽。

I'll never be alone.

我永遠不會孤單。

- Our song.

- 我們的歌。

- Son! (beep)

- 兒子！（嗶嗶聲）

the crash porn is ready (beep)

崩潰的色情是準備好了（嗶嗶聲）

- What's a (beep)?

- 什麼是（嗶嗶聲）？

- Damn, I mean darn it.

- 該死，我是說該死的。

I'll be back in a bit.

我一會兒就回來

Why don't you draw a picture of Mr. Hosnose while I'm gone.

趁我不在的時候，你為什麼不給霍斯諾斯先生畫張畫呢？

I would love to see him again.

我很想再見到他。

- Oh, but I thought we could just...

- 哦，但我想我們可以... ...

- Then Serege showed father crash porn

- 然後塞雷格給父親看了車禍色情片

and then next day I was born.

然後第二天我就出生了。

Mother wasn't even pregnant.

母親甚至沒有懷孕。

- (beep) Yeah, Zek, you are out of (beep)

- 是的，澤克，你沒時間了。

- Man, I am so pumped.

- 夥計，我太激動了。

Oh, I have a great idea,

哦，我有一個好主意。

why don't we fast forward to the best part,

我們為什麼不快進到最精彩的部分。

when the guy's wiener sneezes.

當這個傢伙的維納打噴嚏，

- Wow son, is this your robot buddy?

- 哇，兒子，這是你的機器人夥伴嗎？

- Okay dudes, you want to watch accidents sex aquarium

- 好吧，帥哥，你想看意外性愛水族館嗎？

or (beep) time badger earthquake.

或（嗶）時間獾地震。

- (beep) time badger earthquake?

- (嗶)時間獾震?

- I don't care what you want me to watch.

- 我不在乎你要我看什麼。

- Y'all going to gander that?

- 你們要去看那個？

- No, I'm not Mr. Pockets.

- 不，我不是 "口袋先生"。

- Mr. Pockets?

- 口袋先生？

Was that your (beep) name?

那是你的（嗶）名字嗎？

I call mine Todd.

我叫我的託德

- Son, what is happening here?

- 兒子，這裡發生了什麼？

- Get ready for the aquarium (beep) time.

- 準備好水族館（嗶）時間。

- No, not yet Zek.

- 不，還沒有，澤克.

- What is this?

- 這是什麼？

- Everyone shut up!

- 大家都閉嘴！

- Well (beep) you too, buddy.

- 你也是，夥計。

- I'm sorry that wasn't...

- 對不起，這不是... ...

Maybe guys this was a bad idea.

也許夥計們這是個壞主意。

- Well get it while you can, you pickle (beep) farmer.

- 好吧，趁你還可以，你這個泡菜（嗶）農夫。

- You did the right thing, Son.

- 你做了正確的事情，兒子。

Your buddies are pushing you to be someone you ain't.

你的朋友們把你逼成了一個你不是的人。

Think about what makes you happy.

想想什麼讓你快樂。

Think about who makes you happy.

想想誰讓你快樂。

- You're right.

- 你是對的

You make me happy.

你讓我很開心

- Now drag that dang poster off your wall

- 現在把那張海報從牆上拖下來

and let's get back to how things used to be.

讓我們回到過去的狀態吧。

See, this is how it's supposed to be, Son.

看，這就是應該的，兒子。

Oh, you were lost but I found you again

哦，你失去了，但我又找到了你。

and I'll always be here, see.

我將永遠在這裡，看。

You don't have to worry about other friends or girls,

你不必擔心其他朋友或女孩。

but we can just be together, forever.

但我們可以只在一起，永遠。

- No.

- 不知道

- What you mean, no?

- 你的意思是，沒有？

- Mr. Pockets, I love you, but I have to grow up.

- 口袋先生，我愛你，但我必須長大。

- Well, you don't have to grow up, Son,

- 好吧，你不必長大，兒子。

we can just grow together.

我們可以一起成長。

It'll be... - I'm sorry, Pockets.

這將是...- 對不起，Pockets。

This just...

這只是...

This isn't gonna work.

這不是要去工作。

- I guess I was dizzy in my head,

- 我想我的腦袋是暈的。

think things could be like they were.

認為事情可以像以前一樣。

I can't go on living without you, Son.

沒有你我活不下去，兒子。

I was lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rug.

我在馬車地毯上比蛇腹還低。

Son, I'm going to need you to use your imagination for me

兒子，我需要你幫我發揮你的想象力了

one last time.

最後一次。

- What do you mean?

- 什麼意思？

What, no.

什麼，沒有。

Pockets, I can't do this.

口袋，我不能這樣做。

- Son, it's the only way, please.

- 兒子，這是唯一的辦法，求你了。

You have to live your life.

你得過你的生活。

Gosh, darn it.

天哪，該死的。

I can't keep holding you back.

我不能一直拖你後腿。

I love you too dang much.

我太愛你了

It's okay, son.

沒事的，兒子。

I'm ready.

我已經準備好了

(piano music)

(鋼琴曲)

- Mr. Pockets and me.

- 口袋先生和我。

- Part of my family.

- 我家的一部分。

- [Both] Best bud I've ever known.

- [都]我所知道的最好的芽。

- I'll never be alone.

- 我永遠不會孤單。

(gunshot)

（槍聲）

(gasping for air)

（喘氣）

♪ Mr. Pockets and me ♪

Pockets先生和我

♪ Part of my family ♪

我的家庭的一部分

♪ Best bud I've ever known ♪

我所知道的最好的芽

♪ I'll never be alone ♪

我永遠不會孤單

♪ Be alone ♪

獨自一人

♪ Be alone ♪

獨自一人

♪ Be alone ♪

獨自一人

- This is what I wanted, right?

- 這就是我想要的，對吧？

This is exactly what I wanted.

這正是我想要的。

♪ I am alone ♪

我是一個人