SOMETHING THAT'S ON THE MINDS OF EVERYONE WATCHING RIGHT NOW.

現在大家都在關注的事情。

TODAY IS, OF COURSE, HARRY STYLES' BIRTHDAY.

今天是，當然，哈里・斯蒂爾斯的生日。

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YEP.

（歡呼聲和掌聲）是的。

REGGIE, HOW ARE YOU CELEBRATING THE MOMENTOUS OCCASION?

雷吉，你是如何慶祝這個重要的時刻的？

REGGIE, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO L CELEBRATE THE MOMENTOUS

雷吉，你要怎麼慶祝這個重要的日子？

OCCASION?

OCCASION？

>> Reggie: I'M GOING TO WEAR AS MANY BLOUSES AS POSSIBLE AND

>> 我要穿儘可能多的襯衣，而且... ...

PERHAPS PEARL EARRINGS AND OPANT THAT LOOKS LIKE A HYBRID BETWEEN

可能是珍珠耳環和OPT，看起來像一個混合體，兩者之間的

A THIRD AND PANTS -- SORRY, SKIRT AND PANTS.

第三和褲子 - 對不起，裙子和褲子。

>> James: IS THIS BECAUSE IT'S HARRY'S BIRTH DAZE, YOU

>> 詹姆斯。 這是因為它的哈里的生日發呆，你。

HAVE LET YOUR HAIR DOWN?

頭髮放下來了嗎？

>> Reggie: IF HARRY IS GOING TO HAVE A BIRTHDAY, I SHOULD LET

>> 如果哈瑞要過生日，我應該讓他過。

OUR HAIR DOWN.

我們的頭髮下來。

>> James: WE'RE LETTING OUR HAIR DOWN.

>> 詹姆斯。 我們要把頭髮放下來。

I LOVE IT, I LOVE THIS LOOK THAT YOU'VE GONE FOR TONIGHT, STEVE,

我喜歡，我喜歡你今晚的這個造型，史蒂夫。

NEVER STEEFER!

永遠不要STEEFER！

I LIKE THIS LOOK YOU'VE GONE FOR!

我喜歡你的這個造型!

IT'S SORT OF PART FARMER, PART, I DON'T KNOW, MONSON AND SONS?

它的部分農民，部分，我不知道，蒙森和兒子？

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY, WE THE LATE LATE SHOW YOU, YOU KNOW

生日快樂，哈瑞，我們遲到的節目，你知道嗎？

AWAY, WE ADORE YOU.

走吧，我們愛你。

YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.

你知道你知道。

IT'S A FINE LINE.

這是一條很好的線。

I'M TRYING TO THINK OF MORE.

我正在努力想更多。

I CAN'T I'M FALLING.

我不能，我倒下了。

WHAT HO!

什麼何！

(APPLAUSE) >> Reggie: YES, LIGHTNING.

(掌聲) >> 雷吉：是，閃電。

>> James: IF I THINK OF NYMPH, MEET ME IN THE HALLWAY,

>> 詹姆斯： 如果我想到紐約，就在走廊上見我。

IS IT THAT ONE?

是那個嗎？

MEET ME IN THE CORRIDOR, MEET ME IN THE HALLWAY.

在走廊見我，在走廊見我。

THAT'S MY FAVORITE HARRY SONG.

這是我最喜歡的哈里的歌。

MEET ME IN THE HALLWAY.

在走廊上見我。

I KEEP GOING, HE'S NEVER THERE!

我一直在走，他從來沒有在那裡！

(LAUGHTER) >> Reggie: THIS SHOW IS A

這檔節目是一個。

SIGN OF THE TIMES.

時代的標誌。

>> James: YES!

>> 詹姆斯。 是的！

>> MAN, THIS IS LIKE GOLDEN MONOLOG!

>> 男人，這就像黃金獨白！

JAYAPAL COME ON!

JAYAPAL來吧！

>> LIKE A LOT OF WATER MENTAL WA SUGAR!

>> 像很多水的心理WA糖!

>> SO MUCH WHEN IT GOES TOO FAR.

>> 當它走得太遠的時候，那麼多。

WHAT IS IT CALLED?

它叫什麼名字？

>> James: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET INTO THE HEADLINES.

>> 詹姆斯。 好吧，讓我們進入頭條新聞。

OF COURSE, WE'RE JUST A WEEK AWAY FROM DONALD TRUMP'S SECOND

當然，我們只是一個星期的時間，從唐納德-特朗普的第二次。

IMPEACHMENT TRIAL.

審判：

HEY, NOT TALKING ABOUT TRUMP WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED.

嘿，不談特朗普還挺好玩的。

WASN'T IT?

是嗎？

WELL, OVER THE WEEKEND, FIVE OF TRUMP'S IMPEACHMENT LAWYERS

週末，五名特朗普的非法移民律師...

ABRUPTLY QUIT.

ABRUPTLY QUIT。

TRUMP SUDDENLY FOUND HIMSELF WITHOUT ANY LEGAL

特朗普在沒有任何法律依據的情況下，突然發現了自己。

REPRESENTATION, WHICH IS STILL A HUGE IMPROVEMENT OVER BEING

代表，比起被代表，仍有很大的進步。

REPRESENTED BY RUDY GIULIANI.

由RUDY GIULIANI代表。

BUT DON'T WORRY.

但不要擔心。

TRUMP QUICKLY ADDED TWO MORE LAWYERS.

特朗普又迅速增加了兩名律師。

BY THE TIME YOU'RE WATCHING THIS THEY'VE ALREADY QUIT.

當你看到這個的時候，他們已經退出了。

DOES EVERYBODY REMEMBER SHAMAN, SHAMAN?

大家還記得薩滿嗎，薩滿？

WE ARE COMPLETELY AMBIDEXTROUS ON THE SHAMAN SHAMAN?

我們對薩滿薩滿完全不瞭解？

THIS GUY WEARING THE HORNS SAYS HE FEELS, QUOTE CAN

這個戴著喇叭的傢伙說，他覺得，報價可以。

WELL, THIS SHAMAN JUST ANNOUNCED THAT BECAUSE HE FEELS “BETRAYED

好吧，這個巫師剛剛宣佈，因為他覺得 "被背叛"。

BY THE PRESIDENT,” HE IS WILLING TO TESTIFY AGAINST TRUMP AT THE

由總統，"他願意在會議上對特朗普進行作證。

IMPEACHMENT TRIAL.

審判：

KNEW I'D GET A BIG REACTION.

知道我會得到一個大的反應。

( LAUGHTER ) I ALL RI

（笑）我所有的RI

I KNEW TRUMP'S BASE OF SUPPORT WAS DWINDLING, BUT I NEVER

我知道特朗普的支持基礎在下降，但我從來沒有。

THOUGHT HE'D LOSE THE “SHIRTLESS SHAMANS.”

以為他會失去 "無帽巫師"。

( LAUGHTER ) HE SAYS HE FEELS BETRAYED BY THE

他說，他覺得自己受到了背叛。

PRESIDENT.

主席：

AND LOOK DPM THIS GUY FEELS BETRAYED BY ANYBODY, IT SHOULD

聽著，DPM這傢伙覺得被任何人背叛了，這應該是

BE HIS RATTOO ARTIST.

成為他的RATTOO藝術家。

>> Reggie: OH IT'S TERRIBLE.

>> 雷吉：哦，太可怕了。

>> James: WHAT IS THAT TATTOO, THERE, WHAT'S THAT MEANT

>> 詹姆斯。 那是什麼紋身，那裡，那是什麼意思？

TO BE?

是嗎？

>> I THOUGHT IT WAS A SWORD TUCKED INTO HIS WAISTBAND.

>> 我還以為是一把劍插在他的腰帶上。

>> James: PULL IT UP AGAIN.

>> 詹姆斯。 再拉一次。

FOR THAT TO WORK HE'S GOT TO PULL HIS TROUSERS UP.

要想成功，他就得把褲子拉起來。

IT'S A PANT PROBLEM THERE.

這是一個褲子的問題在那裡。

REY IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SWORD, IT LOOKS LIKE ITS HILT.

它看起來不像一把劍，它看起來像我的山。

IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY THERE IS NO SWORD THAT GOES THROUGH THE

如果你仔細觀察，沒有一把劍能穿過去。

LINE.

線：

>> James: HE THINKS THAT I'M ALWAYS WEARING PANELS.

>> 詹姆斯。 他認為我總是穿著面板。

I RECKON HE'S GOT THE TOP OF A SWORD AND A GAP AND THE BOTTOM

我想他有劍的頂端和缺口，還有劍的底部

OF A SWORD THERE.

一把劍在那裡。

>> Reggie: OH, GOT YOU, YEP, YEP.

>> 哦，抓住你了，是的，是的。

>> James: I'LL ALWAYS BE WEARING SHORTS OR TROUSERS,

>> 詹姆斯。 我將永遠穿著短褲或長褲。

THERE'S NO POINT DOING THE WHOLE SWORD.

沒有必要做整個刀劍。

>> COVERS HIMSELF.

>> 覆蓋自己。

>> James: I'LL HAVE THE TIP OF A SWORD AND THE HANDLE OF A

>> James: 我有刀尖和刀柄。

SWORD AND -- >> Reggie: SAVES MONEY.

劍和 -- >> 雷吉：省錢。

>> James: YES, AGONY.

>> 詹姆斯。 是的，AGONY。

REY AGONY.

REY AGONY。

>> James: SEEMS LIKE A COOL GUY THOUGH.

>> 詹姆斯。 看起來像一個很酷的傢伙，但。

(LAUGHTER) >> Reggie: YEP, YEP.

(大笑) >> 雷吉：是的，是的。

>> James: BUT IMPEACHMENT ISN'T THE

>> 詹姆斯。 BUT IMPEACHMENT ISN'T THE TOP

BUT IMPEACHMENT ISN'T THE ONLY LEGAL PROCEEDING TRUMP HAS TO

但反劾並不是特朗普唯一要走的法律程序。

WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

擔心現在。

THE SCOTTISH PARLIAMENT IS DEBATING WHETHER OR NOT TO OPEN

蘇格蘭議會正在討論是否開放。

AN INVESTIGATION INTO HOW TRUMP FINANCED HIS SCOTTISH GOLF

調查特朗普如何資助他的蘇格蘭高爾夫球場

RESORTS, AND WHERE THE MONEY CAME FROM.

度假村，以及資金從何而來。

AND, OF COURSE, IF TRUMP ENDS UP GETTING PROSECUTED, THE SCOTTISH

當然，如果特朗普最終被起訴，蘇格蘭人也會被起訴

PARLIAMENT WILL FORMALLY ASK HIM TO--

議會將正式要求他... ...

(SCOTTISH ACCENT)“ GET THE ( BLEEP ) OUT OF HERE

（蘇格蘭口音）"得到的（BLEEP）離開這裡。

YOU BIG ORANGE BASSA!” GET YE NOW!

你這個大橘子芭莎！"現在就去找他！

LUCKILY, TRUMP'S ALREADY GOT HIS SCOTTISH LAWYER LINED UP.

幸運的是，特朗普已經找好了他的蘇格蘭律師。

HERE HE IS HERE.

在這裡，他在這裡。

( LAUGHTER ) >> Reggie: NICE.

( 笑 ) >> 雷吉：不錯。

NICE.

很好

>> GREAT GRAPHICS, MATE.

>> 偉大的圖形，夥計。

GREAT GRAPHICS!

偉大的圖形！

>> James: IT'S SHREK!

>> 詹姆斯 是史萊克！

YOU REMEMBER SHREK.

你還記得史萊克。

YOU REMEMBER WHEN SHREK CAME OUT 12 YEARS AGO?

你還記得12年前史萊克出道的時候嗎？

(LAUGHTER) >> James: THAT'S WHAT WE'VE

詹姆斯： 這就是我們已經

GONE WITH.

消失了。

BUT HE'S IN A SUIT, SEE?

但他穿著西裝，看到了嗎？

BECAUSE NORMALLY, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FILM, HE DOESN'T ALWAYS

因為通常情況下，如果你沒有看過電影，他不會總是... ...

WEAR A SUIT.

穿上西裝。

WE'VE ADDED TO IT.

我們已經添加到它。

WHAT WE'VE DONE, WE'VE PUT SHREK IN A SUIT AND HE'S IN OFFICE

我們做了什麼，我們給史萊克穿上了西裝，而他在辦公室裡。

ENVIRONMENT AND HE NORMALLY LIVES IN SOMEWHAT LIKE A SWAMP

環境，他通常住在一些類似沼澤的地方

DOESN'T HE?

難道不是嗎？

>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> 諸如此類。

NO, HE'S IN A COURT ENVIRONMENT.

不，他是在法院的環境。

>> James: HE HAS TO BECAUSE HE'S REPRESENTING TRUMP.

>> 詹姆斯。 因為他是代表特朗普的。

>> AN PLATED, HERE NOW.

>> 鋈守躓痊，現在。

>> James: AS YOU KNOW, TRUMP HAS ALREADY DRAINED THE SWAMP.

>> 詹姆斯。 如你所知，特朗普已經把水抽乾了。

DIDN'T DESERVE THAT!

我不值得你這樣做！

AND DID YOU SEE THIS?

你看到了嗎？

AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?

你們看到這個了嗎？

IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT QUEEN ELIZABETH WILL BE HOSTING

剛剛宣佈，英國女王伊麗莎白將主持的。

PRESIDENT BIDEN AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE LATER THIS YEAR.

比登主席今年晚些時候在白金漢宮。

THE QUEEN WILL BE WELCOMING BIDEN FOR A “SOFT POWER”

女王將迎來 "軟實力 "的競標。

RECEPTION.“ SOFT POWER.”

接待。"軟實力。"

THAT WAS MY NICKNAME IN HIGH SCHOOL.

那是我在高中時的名字。

( LAUGHTER ) IN-- IN ADDITION TO A RECEPTION,

（笑）在 - 除了招待會。

BIDEN AND THE QUEEN WILL MEET ONE ON ONE.

比登和女王將一對一見面。

AND I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT MEETING WILL START WITH BIDEN

我想大家都知道，會議將從比登開始。

POINTING TO HER CROWN AND GOIN“" THAT'S A WICKED HAT YOU GOT

指著她的冠冕，然後去""你的帽子真夠邪乎的

THERE, SISTER.” ( LAUGHTER )

在那裡，姐姐。"（笑）

AND THAT SOUNDED NOTHING LIKE BIDEN.

這聽起來一點也不像比登。

THAT'S THE WORST -- THAT'S THE WORST IMPRESSION I THINK

這是最糟糕的... 這是最糟糕的印象，我認為。

ANYONE'S EVER SEEN!

任何人都可以看到！

REY IT WAS WORSE.

是的，它是更糟糕的。

>> James: MARK YOU CAN DO A WICKED -- A BIDEN?

>> 詹姆斯。 馬克，你可以做一個邪惡的 - - 一個BIDEN？

>> THAT'S A WICKED HAT YOU GOT THERE SISTER.

>> 你的帽子真夠邪門的，姐姐。

>> James: FROM NOW ON MARK YOU'LL BE THE VOICE OF JOE BIDEN

>> 詹姆斯。 從現在開始，馬克，你將是喬-比登的聲音。

ON THIS SHOW!

在這個節目中！

DONE.

完成。

THIS COULD GET THIS COULD GET CONTENTIOUS,

這可能會得到這可能會得到持續的。

BECAUSE UNLIKE BIDEN, EVERYONE KNOWS THE QUEEN LOVES A BIT OF

因為和比登一樣，大家都知道女王愛死了。

MALARKEY.

馬拉基：

( LAUGHTER ) SHE DOES.

（笑）她做的。

OR AS SHE SAYS-- (HIGH PITCHED)

或如她所言 -- （高音）

"ONE LOVES MALARKEY."

"一個人愛馬拉基。"

( APPLAUSE ) ON THE BRITISH ISLES, I THINK

我想，在英國的島嶼上。

I'M FINE.

我很好。

BUT I GET INTO A BIT OF PROBLEM -- MY PHONE IS RINGING.

但我遇到了一個小問題 -- 我的電話在響。

>> ANSWER IT.

>>回答它。

>> James: REDONDO BEACH.

>> 詹姆斯。 REDONDO BEACH.

>> HELLO?

>> HELLO?

>> CALLED THIS PHONE.

>> 打電話給這個電話。

LAW ENFORCEMENT UNIT OF FEDERAL INVESTIGATION SYSTEM,ING LEGAL

聯邦調查系統的執法部門，ING LEGAL公司。

CASE BEING FILED UNDER YOUR NAME AND THERE IS AN ARREST WARRANT

以你的名字立案，並且有逮捕令的案件。

BEING ISSUED FOR THE SAME.

正在為同樣的問題發行。

IN ORDER TO LAW ENFORCEMENT UNIT OF FEDERAL ABOUT ENFORCEMENT

為了聯邦法律執法部門的執法工作。

SYSTEM.

系統：

PLEASE HOLD THE LINE.

請保持線。

>> James: GUYS, I'VE GOT TO GO!

>> 詹姆斯。 夥計們，我得走了！

I'VE GOT TO GO!

我得走了！

YOU HAVEN'T HEARD WHAT'S HAPPENED, THERE IS FRAUDULENT

你還沒聽說發生了什麼事嗎？

ACTIVITY ON MY BANK, I HAVE TO GO.

在我的銀行活動，我必須去。

(BLEEP).

(BLEEP)。

>> James: SORRY ABOUT THAT, IT'S OFF NOW.

>> 詹姆斯。 抱歉，現在關機了。

ABOUT THAT'S THE THING, I'VE WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS.

關於這一點，我一直想告訴你。

A FILM FESTIVAL IN SWEDEN IS TAKING A RATHER UNUSUAL APPROACH

瑞典的一個電影節正在採取一種比較不尋常的方式。

DUE TO THE PANDEMIC.

由於氾濫的。

THIS YEAR, THEY'VE SELECTED ONE PARTICIPANT WHO WILL BE SENT TO

今年，他們已經選擇了一個參與者將被送往

A REMOTE ISLAND TO SPEND A WEEK BY HERSELF, WATCHING FILM AFTER

在一個偏遠的島嶼上獨自度過一個星期，看完一部又一部電影。

FILM.

電影：

>> Reggie: WOW.

>> 雷吉：WOW。

>> James: WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SEND HER TO AN ISLAND?

>> 詹姆斯：為什麼他們要把她送到一個島上？

IT SEEMS EXTREME.

這似乎是極端的。

JUST SEND HER THE DVDS.

把DVD寄給她就好了。

FILM IS UNNECESSARY.

電影是沒有必要的。

DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE SWEDISH FISH AT THE MOVIE THEATER IN

你認為電影院裡有瑞典魚嗎?

SWEDEN?

瑞典？

IF THEY DO, WHAT ABOUT NOT CALLING THEM SWEDISH, JUST FISH?

如果他們這樣做了，不叫他們瑞典人，只叫他們魚呢？

>> THEY HAVE POLDER GREASE.

>> 他們有POLDER GREASE。

>> James: THE NEXT TIME >> James: A FILM FESTIVAL FOR

>> 詹姆斯： 下一次》 >> 詹姆斯：電影節

ONE.

一：

SO THE NEXT TIME YOU WATCH A MOVIE TRAILER, KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

所以下次你看電影預告片的時候，要注意了。

FOR THIS SYMBOL.“ OFFICIAL SELECTION, JANICE

為這個符號。"官方選擇，JANICE

LIKED THIS ONE.” ( LAUGHTER )

喜歡這一個。"（笑）

STORY, A LAWYER IN PERU HAS GONE VIRAL AFTER HE WAS CAUGHT HAVING

故事，在祕魯的一名律師被發現有了病毒後，他就開始傳播。

SEX ON CAMERA DURING A VIRTUAL COURT HEARING OVER ZOO.

鏡頭下的性愛，在動物園上空的真實法庭聽證會上。

NOW WE'VE HAD TO BLUR IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY'RE HAVING SEX.

現在我們不得不模糊它，因為你知道他們在做愛。

BUT THE LAWYERS THERE IN THE LOWER RIGHT.

但律師們在右下方。

ACTUALLY A VIRTUAL COURT HEARING.

實際上是一次真正的法庭聽證會。

I MEAN, LOOK, I THINK IT'S A GIVEN HAD A WE ALL ENJOY HAVING

我的意思是，聽著，我想這是我們大家都喜歡的一種天賦。

SEX.

SEX：

BUT SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO GO, BABE, I'M IN COURT RIGHT NOW, I

但有時你必須去，寶貝，我現在在法庭上，我...

CAN'T -- I CAN'T -- SORRY, I'M GOING TO MUTE ONE MINUTE.

不能 - 我不能 - 對不起，我要去靜音一分鐘。

I CAN'T, I'M IN COURT!

我不能，我在法庭上！

YEAH, I'M BACK, GUYS.

是的，我回來了，夥計們。

WHAT -- ALL RIGHT.

什麼--所有的權利。

WE'RE GOING.

我們要去。

THE JUDGE SAID, ALL THE JUDGE SAID “ALL RISE” AND

法官說，所有的法官說 "全體起立"，然後... ...

THE LAWYER WAS LIKE, “WAY AHEAD OF YOU, MAN.”

律師想，"在你前面的路，男人。"

( LAUGHTER ) AND I DON'T WANT TO GET TOO

（笑），我不想得到太多的

GRAPHIC, BUT THE WOMAN HE WAS WITH SAID HE REALLY BELONGS IN

圖文並茂，但和他在一起的那個女人說他真正屬於這裡

SMALL CLAIMS COURT.

小額索賠法庭。

( LAUGHTER ) ( RIMSHOT )

（笑） （RIMSHOT）。

HE WAS HAVING SEX DURING A VIRTUAL COURT HEARING.

他在虛擬法庭聽證會上發生了性關係。

IN THE LAWYER'S DEFENSE, HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HIT IT AND

在律師的辯護中，他只是想打它和

ACQUIT IT.

掌握它。

( RIMSHOT ) THAT'S IT, INDEPENDENT OF THE

就是這樣，獨立的

MONO.

單聲道：

-- END OF THE MONO.

-- 單聲道結束。