No need to throw the whole thing away.

沒必要把整個東西都扔掉。

- Let me try it.

- 讓我試試

- Oh, sorry, hi.

- 哦，對不起，嗨。

I'm just dropping by, uh, confessing to a murder.

我只是路過，呃，承認自己是凶手。

Basically, there was a death.

基本上，有一個死亡。

A man was murdered in Thailand three months ago.

三個月前，一名男子在泰國被謀殺。

It's on the Interpol site,

在國際刑警組織的網站上

and I am racked with guilt, can't sleep.

我被內疚折磨得睡不著覺。

And I'm here to just confess and, you know, put my,

我在這裡只是懺悔，你知道，把我的。

put the bracelets on me or...

把手鐲放在我身上或... ...

Call 'em bracelets, right?

叫他們手鐲，對吧？

I was watching some cop show and they call 'em.

我在看一些警察節目，他們叫他們。

- Handcuffs.

- 手銬。

- All right.

- 好吧，我知道了

- What did you do? - What'd you do?

- 你做了什麼？- 你做了什麼？

- Bludgeon a man to death three months ago in Thailand.

- 三個月前在泰國用棍子打死一名男子。

It's on the Interpol website.

在國際刑警組織的網站上

And these are the war hammers that did it.

而這些都是戰錘乾的。

And I'm here to confess.

我是來懺悔的

- What was your name again?

- 你叫什麼名字來著？

- Last name is Coe, C-O-E.

- 姓氏為Coe，C-O-E。

- C-O-E.

- C -O -E。

- And then my first name is Jillett.

- 然後我的名字是Jillett.

- Coe.

- Coe.

- J-I-L-L-E-T, there's not an E on the end,

- J-I-L-L-E-T，最後沒有E。

and there's a hyphen.

而且還有一個連字元。

- I wasn't even listening, sorry.

- 我根本沒在聽，對不起。

- Hyphen Ben, Gillette-Ben.

- 連字元本，吉列本。

- Gillette-Ben.

- 吉列-本。

- And then last name is Coe.

- 然後姓科。

- Cindy, could you get me through to...

- 辛迪，你能幫我接通... ...

- Thailand, country of Thailand.

- 泰國，泰國的國家。

- The Department of Justice?

- 司法部？

We have got a detainee who has confessed

我們有一個被拘留者，他已經招供了

to a murder in Thailand, Mr. Jun Deep.

到泰國的謀殺案，俊深先生。

- Yes, sir.

- 是的，先生。

Uh, two deputies to fly him to Thailand.

兩名副手送他去泰國。

Yes, sir, we don't have a plane here at the Reno....

是的，先生，我們在裡諾沒有飛機....。

We'd fly first class to Thailand.

我們會坐頭等艙去泰國。

- Do all three of us. - Do I get to go?

- 我們三個人都要去- 我可以去嗎？

(upbeat music) (plane engine roars)

（歡快的音樂）（飛機發動機轟鳴）。

- Have a seat. - Okay, we're clear.

- 請坐吧- 好了，我們清楚了。

- Come on in, welcome aboard.

- 進來吧，歡迎加入。

Welcome aboard. - Clear.

歡迎加入- 安全

- I'll be 3A,

- 我將是3A。

Yeah, which is the window.

是的，這是窗口。

- All right, just twist.

- 好吧，就這麼扭著。

Can you go maybe down under-hand there?

你可以去也許下手那裡？

Okay, that's good.

好吧，這是很好的。

No, that's good, that's comfortable.

不，這很好，這很舒服。

Okay, how long has this flight?

好吧，這次飛行有多長時間？

- It's 14 hours, but regardless, sir,

- 已經14小時了，但無論如何，先生。

we can't have you in this situation, it's not safe.

我們不能讓你在這種情況下，它是不安全的。

- No, we're first class, we are first class.

- 不，我們是頭等艙，我們是一等艙。

- I understand.

- 我明白了。

- Why don't you to switch over here so that he gets here?

- 你為什麼不換到這裡來，讓他到這裡來？

- I don't mean to be rude,

- 我不是故意要無禮。

but then we're at the same problem

但這是同樣的問題

where this is not safe for you guys.

在這裡，這對你們來說是不安全的。

You're already up, sir.

你已經起來了，先生。

Why don't you head up over here?

你為什麼不在這裡頭？

I would insist, sir, that would be...

我堅持認為，先生，這將是... ...

- But wait, 3B, 3B.

- 但是等等，3B，3B。

- Do we get charged to change seats?

- 我們換座位要收費嗎？

Is there like a $50 like one of them fees that they do?

有沒有像50美元一樣的費用，他們做的其中之一？

- Of course not, no.

- 當然不是，不是。

- 'Cause on Greyhound, when you switch seats...

- 因為在灰狗上，當你換座位時... ...

- They, they do charge.

- 他們，他們是要收費的。

- Yeah, they do, they do 35 bucks.

- 是的，他們做的，他們做35塊錢。

I wanna have the aisle seat.

我想坐過道的位置

- Great, if you can just have a seat, relax,

- 很好，如果你能有一個座位，放鬆一下。

we'd love to get your beverages and get started.

我們很樂意讓你的飲料和開始。

- Yes?

- 是嗎？

- Hey. - Hi.

- 嗨

- How you doing? - Great, nuts?

- 你好嗎？- 很好，瘋子？

- Yeah. - Whoa, (laughs) okay.

- 是的 哇，好吧

- Hey, these are warm.

- 嘿，這些都是溫暖的。

- Yes, they're toasted.

- 是的，他們被烤焦了。

- On purpose? - Yes.

- 故意的？- 故意的

- Toasted nuts, warm nuts.

- 烤堅果，熱堅果。

- Just don't run with it.

- 只要不跟它跑就行了。

- My associate Jones needs his nuts warms, please?

- 我的同事瓊斯需要他的蛋蛋暖和一下，好嗎？

- Oh, you need your nuts warms?

- 哦，你需要你的堅果溫暖？

Here I'll get it for you. - Absolutely.

來，我幫你拿。- 當然可以

- Goodie, goodie goodie bag. - No, no.

- 好東西，好東西好包。- 不，不。

- I just got a little goodie bag.

- 我剛剛得到了一個小禮品袋。

- I got socks!

- 我有襪子！

- I'm going open it and see what's inside,

- 我要打開看看裡面有什麼。

'cause I got a goodie bag, tissues.

因為我有一個好包，紙巾。

- I don't want, I don't want, no, how much is that?

- 我不要，我不要，不要，那是多少錢？

- It's complimentary.

- 這是免費的。

- Complimentary meaning?

- 恭維的意思？

- Again, free.

- 同樣，免費。

It always means free, here.

在這裡，它總是意味著免費。

- Could I get a vodka martini please?

- 請給我一杯伏特加馬提尼好嗎？

Shaken, not stirred, a little dirty with two olives,

搖晃，不攪拌，有點髒，加兩顆橄欖。

and put a shot of Jagy in here.

並把Jagy的鏡頭放在這裡。

- Oh, okay.

- 哦，好吧。

♪ Caribbean queen, now we're sharing the same dream ♪

加勒比女王，現在我們共享同一個夢想

♪ And our hearts will beat as one ♪

我們的心會像一個人一樣跳動

- Excuse me, hi, could you just please keep it down?

- 對不起，嗨，你能不能小聲點？

♪ Caribbean queen, and we're sharing the same dream ♪

加勒比海女王，我們共享同一個夢想?

- I go high, you go low.

- 我往上走，你往下走。

♪ And our hearts will beat as one. ♪

我們的心會像一個人一樣跳動。

- Yeah. - We all went low.

- 是啊 我們都低調了

- Could you stop singing?

- 你能不能別唱了？

- Oh, mile high club! - Whoo!

- 哦，一英里高俱樂部！- 喔！

- All right, which one of you masturbated in the bathroom?

- 好吧，你們誰在浴室裡手淫了？

- Not me, I was cuffed to a law man.

- 不是我，我是被一個法律人銬住了。

- Mirror is a mess.

- 鏡子是一團糟。

- That don't count, that don't count.

- 那不算，那不算。

- That counts, that totally counts.

- 這算，完全算。

- That don't count! - Of course it does.

- 那不算！- 當然算

Does that count?

這算不算？

It counts.

這也算。

- You know, for a guy who's being extradited

- 你知道，對於一個被引渡過來的人來說

for crimes in Thailand, you're pretty (bleep) weird.

在泰國犯罪，你很（嗶）怪。

- Well, I've never been to Thailand. (laughs)

- 嗯，我從來沒有去過泰國。（笑）

This guy, this big old guy, got murdered in Thailand.

這個傢伙，這個大老粗，在泰國被殺了。

Someone bludgeoned him.

有人打了他。

And I just said, know what I'm gonna do?

我就說，知道我要做什麼嗎？

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna confess.

我只是要去，我要去承認。

I put my hand up, and I thought,

我把手舉起來，我想。

I'll get a plane ride with drinks and gifts.

我會帶著飲料和禮物去坐飛機。

I didn't think it was gonna go this far,

我沒想到會走到這一步。

and here I, here we are.

而我，我們在這裡。

We's having drinks, and he made himself happy

我們在喝酒，他自己也很開心。

in the bathroom and all this free stuff.

在浴室和所有這些免費的東西。

And look at all these little

看看這些小

little tiny soldiers on my armrest.

小小的阿兵哥在我的扶手上。

It just worked out.

它只是工作了。

(all laugh)

（眾笑）

- We're going to Thailand!

- 我們要去泰國！

- We're gonna keep an eye on you every minute.

- 我們會每時每刻盯著你。

- Oh you better, look at that.

- 哦，你最好，看那個。

- [Guys] Thailand, Thailand, Thailand!

- 泰國，泰國，泰國，泰國！

- Please quiet, okay, you three-

- 請安靜，好吧，你們三個

- Hi. - Hi.

- 嗨

- You're being ejected from the plane.

- 你被從飛機上彈射出來了 You're being ejected from the plane.

- What? - Yes.

- 什麼？

- You're gonna turn this plane around?

- 你要讓這架飛機掉頭？

We're already halfway there!

我們已經走了一半了！

We're still on the ground.

我們還在地面上。

Okay, we haven't left the gate.

好吧，我們還沒有離開大門。

You've gone through six bottles of champagne in 28 minutes.

你在28分鐘內喝完了6瓶香檳。

- Ooh.

- 哦。

(bleep)

(嗶)

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

- Our bad. - Our bad.

- 我們的壞。- 我們的壞。

- And the Marshall's already out there?

- 馬歇爾已經在外面了？

- Yes.

- 是的，我知道

- All right, hang on, hang on.

- 好吧，等一下，等一下。

I will just.

我就。

- Sorry everyone.

- 對不起大家。

- I made two puppet friends.

- 我交了兩個木偶朋友。

- No, no.

- 不，不。

- Please exit quickly.

- 請迅速退出。

- That's okay.

- 那就好

- Quickly please.

- 請快點。

- Already cuffed, saved the Marshall

- 已經被銬住了，救了馬歇爾

a little bit of work here. - Quietly.

這裡的一點工作。- 悄悄地。

- All right. - All right.

- 好吧，好吧。- 好吧，好吧。

- Oh, hang on, let me, let me, let me

- 哦，等一下，讓我，讓我，讓我。

grab onto the bottom of your coat.

抓到你的外套底部。

- Just goodbye. - Goodbye.

- 只是再見。- 再見。

- So sorry, everyone, we'll be taking off shortly.

- 對不起，各位，我們馬上要起飛了。

Thank you for your patience.

謝謝你的耐心。

- Muppet Show. - Goodbye.

- 布偶秀- 再見了