- I don't think he likes it, but.

- 我覺得他不喜歡這樣，但是。

(both laughing)

（兩個笑）

- Have you ever, have you interacted?

- 你有沒有，互動過？

Have you talked about it?

你說過嗎？

- No, no. (Josh laughing)

- 不，不。（喬希笑）

(upbeat jazzy music)

（歡快的爵士音樂）

- Hey guys, welcome to "Stir crazy."

- 嘿，夥計們，歡迎來到 "瘋狂攪拌"。

The only talk show that comes with free candy corn.

唯一的脫口秀節目，附帶免費的糖果玉米。

You know my guest today from "SNL"

你知道我今天的嘉賓來自 "SNL"

and two new Halloweenerific films,

和兩部新的Halloweenerific電影。

"Scare Me" and "Vampires Versus the Bronx."

"嚇唬我 "和 "吸血鬼對戰布朗克斯"。

It's Chris Redd. - Boom!

這是克里斯-雷德。- 嘣！

Hey, what's up man?

嘿，這是怎麼回事的人嗎？

I had a whole, that was a whole little,

我有一個整體，那是一個整體的小。

you know, Halloween boo fit,

你知道，萬聖節的噓聲適合。

for the real ones out there.

為真正的在那裡。

You know what I'm saying? (Josh laughing)

你知道我在說什麼嗎？（喬希笑）

- Are you a Halloween guy, Chris?

- 你是個喜歡萬聖節的人嗎，克里斯？

Is this your holiday?

這是你的節日嗎？

- Yeah, man, I do, I love Halloween.

- 是啊，夥計，我喜歡萬聖節。

I think last year was maybe my laziest Halloween

我想去年可能是我最懶的萬聖節了

where I didn't prepare for it.

在我沒有準備的地方。

So I just wore some vampire fangs and a Cassius Clay jacket

所以我穿了吸血鬼的獠牙和卡西烏斯-克萊的外套

and I was a vampire Muhammad Ali.

我是一個吸血鬼穆罕默德-阿里。

Just the laziest. (Josh laughing)

只是最懶的。（喬希笑）

- That's the way to do it.

- 就是這樣做的。

You just combine, you just take two different things

你只是結合起來，你只是把兩個不同的東西。

and be like, "No, don't you get it, see?"

並像，"不，你不明白這一點，看到了嗎？"

- Yeah, "I bite and I box," I would say that all night.

- 是啊，"我咬人，我打拳"，我整晚都會這麼說。

(Josh laughing)

（喬希笑）

It was just the dumbest, dumbest thing I've ever done.

這只是我做過的最愚蠢，最愚蠢的事情。

- Congratulations on your two new films,

- 恭喜你的兩部新電影。

you got "Scare Me" and "Vampires Versus the Bronx."

你有 "嚇唬我 "和 "吸血鬼對戰布朗克斯"。

Two very appropriate films for the season.

兩部很適合這個季節的電影。

Can we officially anoint you,

我們可以正式給你抹油了。

are you the new master of horror?

你是恐怖片的新主人嗎？

Are you the guy?

你是那個人嗎？

- I mean, I'm working my way to it, man.

- 我的意思是，我的工作我的方式，男人。

Horror comedy.

恐怖喜劇。

I'm trying to just get my foothold in horror comedy.

我只是想在恐怖喜劇中站穩腳跟。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

A little bit of whoo, haha!

嗚嗚，哈哈，有點小激動。

I like that. (Josh laughing)

我喜歡這樣。（喬希笑）

I like that mix a lot, man. I really do.

我很喜歡這個組合，夥計。我真的喜歡。

- It's funny, as we get older,

- 很有趣，隨著年齡的增長。

I question whether iconic horror villains

我質疑是否有標誌性的恐怖惡人

were actually scary or are they lame?

其實是可怕的，還是他們跛腳？

Let me run through a couple of famous horror villains.

讓我來介紹幾個著名的恐怖惡棍。

You tell me if they're lame or actually legit scary.

你告訴我，如果他們是蹩腳的或真正合法的可怕。

(upbeat jazzy music)

（歡快的爵士音樂）

The number one guy, Dracula. Is Dracula legit scary?

頭號人物，德古拉。德古拉合法可怕嗎？

Or is he a little bit lame?

還是說他有點遜色？

- Dracula can be scary.

- 德古拉是很可怕的。

It also can be lame.

它也可以是蹩腳的。

So you take a really well done, scary Dracula,

所以你把一個做得非常好的，可怕的德古拉。

who's manipulative, and working in the world,

誰的操縱，並在世界工作。

and can figure out his way through sunlight.

並能在陽光下找出自己的路。

Then you also got Sesame Street's.

然後你還得到了芝麻街的。

(laughing)

（笑）

Dracula, who's like, that is a friendly man,

德古拉，誰的喜歡，這是一個友好的人。

who likes to count! (both laughing)

誰喜歡計數！（兩個笑）

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

What about Frankenstein?

那科學怪人呢？

Frankenstein, I don't know,

科學怪人，我不知道。

Frankenstein seems like too much of an idiot to scare me.

弗蘭肯斯坦看起來像個白痴，嚇不到我。

He seems, he's like a moron.

他看起來，就像個白痴。

- Yeah, I wouldn't be scared of Frankenstein

- 是啊，我不會害怕弗蘭肯斯坦的

if I was a good amount of distance away.

如果我距離很遠。

You know what I'm saying?

你知道我在說什麼嗎？

Because he's not fast. - No.

因為他的速度不快。- 不快

- He's not a fast man and he's still trying to,

- 他的速度並不快，他還在努力。

"I could live!"

"我可以活下去！"

He's too big, he can't catch me.

他太大了，他抓不住我。

- But I feel like a lot of them have that similar problem.

- 但我覺得很多人都有這個類似的問題。

Like Jason, again, Jason seems scary if he gets to you,

就像傑森一樣，同樣，傑森如果到了你這裡，似乎很可怕。

but how fast is Jason?

但傑森有多快？

- Jason's not really that quick, Jason.

- 傑森沒有那麼快，傑森。

And also he lets you know he's coming.

而且他還會讓你知道他要來。

Like, "she she she she, ka ka ka ka."

比如，"她她她，咔咔咔"。

- What about Freddy Krueger? Freddy, is Freddy scary?

- 弗萊迪-克魯格怎麼樣？弗萊迪，弗萊迪可怕嗎？

- Freddy Krueger, yes.

- 佛萊迪-克魯格 是的

Freddy Krueger's scary.

佛萊迪-克魯格很可怕。

He's scary 'cause he can attack you in your sleep!

他很可怕，因為他可以在你睡覺時攻擊你！

You got to go to sleep.

你得去睡覺了。

That was terrifying as a kid,

小時候那是很可怕的。

I could be awake like, "Uh oh, Freddy gonna get you!"

我可能會醒著說："哦，佛萊迪要抓你了！"

- The Leprechaun, is the Leprechaun scary?

- 小妖精，小妖精可怕嗎？

- The Leprechauns scared the shit out of me

- 妖精把我嚇壞了。

when I was a kid because my family is from Mississippi.

當我還是個孩子的時候，因為我的家人是來自密西西比州。

So we would go down there all the time.

所以，我們會去那裡所有的時間。

And my cousin let us watch "The Leprechaun"

我表哥還讓我們看 "小妖精"

when I was like eight years old.

當我像八歲。

And every time that Leprechaun would jump out,

而每次那個小妖精都會跳出來。

he would jump out.

他會跳出來。

And he helped terrify me of that movie,

他還幫我把那部電影嚇壞了。

which made me watch all those movies

讓我看了那麼多電影

until I wasn't scared anymore.

直到我不再害怕了。

So Leprechaun is not scary. - No.

所以妖精並不可怕。- 不可怕

- 'Cause I'll kick that mothafucka, but.

- 因為我會踢那個混蛋，但是。

(both laughing)

（兩個笑）

But I have to acknowledge that it did scare me as a child.

但我不得不承認，這的確是嚇到了小時候的我。

- I've got some random "Would you rather"

- 我有一些隨機的 "你寧願"

questions for you, Chris?

有問題要問你嗎，克里斯？

You ready? (upbeat jazzy music)

你準備好了嗎？（歡快的爵士音樂）

Would you rather never perform standup again

你寧願再也不表演單槓了嗎？

or never watch pornography again?

還是再也不看色情片了？

- Never watch pornography again.

- 再也不看色情片了。

- [Josh] You're giving it up.

- 你要放棄了。

- Because I would give it up.

- 因為我願意放棄它。

'Cause I love stand up to too damn much.

因為我太喜歡站起來了。

And if you're successful enough, you can live in a porn.

如果你足夠成功，你可以生活在色情。

(both laughing)

（兩個笑）

- You can live the life instead of watching it.

- 你可以過生活，而不是看生活。

Yeah, there you go!

是的，你去那裡！

Would you rather have the ability to turn water into wine

你是否願意擁有化水為酒的能力？

or read Lorne Michaels' diary?

或者讀洛恩-麥克爾斯的日記？

- I would rather turn water into wine.

- 我寧願把水變成酒。

'Cause then I could get people drunk, like Lorne,

因為這樣我就能把人灌醉，比如洛恩。

and just ask for the diary. (laughs)

並只是問日記。（笑）

Like hacks, baby! Drop it! (Josh laughing)

像黑客一樣，寶貝！放下！（喬希笑）

- These are too easy for you.

- 這些對你來說太簡單了。

Would you rather lose control of your bladder

你寧願失去對膀胱的控制

or your bowels during a live sketch on "SNL?"

還是在 "SNL "的現場短劇中的腸子？

- Well, what makes me wanna say bowels

- 好吧，是什麼讓我想說腸子

is because you might catch it all.

就是因為你可能會把它全部抓住。

'Cause bladder, everybody gonna see bladder happening.

"因為膀胱，每個人都會看到膀胱的發生。

That's just happening.

這只是發生。

- There's nothing to catch.

- 沒有什麼可抓的。

- Bowels! Yeah.

- 腸子！對啊

You could have like a one line, or two liner,

你可以有像一條線，或者兩條線。

you know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

People are gonna smell it, and it's gonna be nasty,

人們會聞到它，它會是討厭的。

and it's not gonna feel great.

這不是要去感覺很好。

But if you may be able to get away with

但是，如果你可能能夠逃脫。

no one seeing it.

沒有人看到它。

It just depends on what kind of booboo

那要看你是什麼類型的人了

you're talking about that day. (Josh laughing)

你說的是那一天。（喬希笑）

(Chris laughing)

（克里斯笑）

- I should've made the question more specific.

- 我應該把問題說得更具體些。

That's my fault.

那是我的錯。

(both laughing)

（兩個笑）

I'll get back to you on the size of the booboo.

我再給你講講布袋的大小。

Would you rather lose all of your teeth

你寧願把牙齒全掉光嗎？

or be completely hairless?

還是完全沒毛？

- Ha, I would rather be completely hairless

- 哈，我寧願完全沒有頭髮

because I am damn near bald now, and-

因為我現在幾乎是禿頭，而且... ...

- (laughs) And it's all right!

- (笑)而且沒事!

- It's a good life. - It's all right.

- 這是一個美好的生活。- 這一切都很好。

- Would you rather spend a day in the body

- 你是否願意花一天時間在身體上

of Eddie Murphy or Kanye West?

埃迪-墨菲或坎耶-韋斯特的？

- I think Kanye West. 'Cause I could do a lot in day.

- 我想坎耶・韋斯特。因為我可以在一天內做很多事情。

(Josh laughing)

（喬希笑）

- Go on?

- 繼續嗎？

- Like enough tweets, you know what I mean?

- 喜歡足夠的微博，你知道我的意思嗎？

I could, I could redirect history.

我可以，我可以改變歷史。

I could make a few more tweets

我可以多發幾條微博

and make some big life decisions.

並做出一些重大的人生決定。

But when he wakes back as him,

但當他醒來時，他又變成了他。

he'd be like, "Yeah, man."

他會說，"是啊，夥計。"

- Was your take on Kanye easy to come up with?

- 你對Kanye的看法是很容易想出來的嗎？

Were you surprised that Kanye took off as much as it did?

你是否對Kanye的飛速發展感到驚訝？

- I am a huge fan of Kanye.

- 我是坎耶的忠實粉絲。

I listened to everything that Kanye has done.

我聽了坎耶的所有作品。

Do I agree with all the things outside of the music?

音樂之外的東西我都同意嗎？

Of course not. (laughs)

當然不是（笑）

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- 我不知道你在說什麼。

He's totally got all the right ideas.

他的想法完全正確。

- Oh, he has had a lot of ideas, for sure.

- 哦，他肯定有很多想法。

(Josh laughing)

（喬希笑）

I always had a version of him.

我一直有一個版本的他。

It was really cool to see people embrace the impression.

看到大家對這個印象的接受，真的很爽。

- What does Kanye think of your Kanye?

- 坎耶覺得你的坎耶怎麼樣？

- I don't think he likes it, but.

- 我覺得他不喜歡這樣，但是。

(Josh laughing)

（喬希笑）

(both laughing)

（兩個笑）

- Have you interacted, have you talked about it?

- 你們互動了嗎，你們聊過嗎？

- No, no. (Josh laughing)

- 不，不。（喬希笑）

But you know, I feel like I know when people like stuff

但你知道，我覺得我知道當人們喜歡的東西。

and don't like stuff.

而不喜歡的東西。

(both laughing)

（兩個笑）

And so, you know, when he was trying to do,

所以，你知道，當他試圖做，

he has said that he wanted Danny McBride

他說過他想要丹尼-麥克布萊德

to play him in a movie.

在電影中扮演他。

And I was like, I guess he's not fond of my impression.

我當時想，我猜他是不喜歡我的印象。

(both laughing)

（兩個笑）

- I always challenged folks on "Stir Crazy"

- 我總是在 "瘋狂的攪拌 "上向人們挑戰

with a game of Quaranteam.

與遊戲的Quaranteam。

I'm gonna name a famous "SNL" character.

我要給一個著名的 "SNL "角色起個名字。

You tell me if you'd want them in the bunker there with you.

你告訴我，如果你想讓他們和你一起在地堡裡。

Would you wanna live with them right now?

你現在想和他們一起生活嗎？

(upbeat jazzy music)

（歡快的爵士音樂）

Let's go with Eddie Murphy first.

先說艾迪-墨菲吧。

Eddie Murphy's Gumby.

埃迪-墨菲的Gumby。

Would Gumby be a good person to have

甘比會不會是一個好的人選呢？

in your apartment with you right now?

在你的公寓與你現在？

- Probably not, 'cause he would probably talk shit

- 可能不會，因為他可能會說胡話。

about my whole life.

關於我的一生。

And wouldn't be pleased with anything.

也不會高興什麼。

And as fun as that would be for the first hour,

而在前一個小時裡，一樣會很有趣。

I think over time, it'd be like,

我想隨著時間的推移，會像。

"Gumby, man, would you just chill?"

"甘比，夥計，你能不能冷靜點？"

- "Chill the fuck out, Gumby, come on."

- "冷靜點，甘比，來吧。"

- "Chill out, fam!"

- "冷靜點，範姆！"

And my couch is Gumby green too.

而我的沙發也是甘比綠色的。

So I think that at some point I would sit on him on accident

所以我覺得在某些時候，我會不小心坐在他身上

and that would cause a whole thing.

就會引起整個事情。

- What would Debbie Downer be too much of a downer

- 黛比-唐納會有什麼過人之處呢？

right now to have in quarantine?

現在就去檢疫？

- A hundred percent. You gotta maintain your energy, man.

- 百分之百。你必須保持你的能量，男人。

You gotta maintain your energy.

你得保持你的能量。

And Debbie just always knows how to kill the mood.

而黛比總是知道如何消除氣氛。

- How, how about Stefan?

- 怎麼樣，Stefan怎麼樣？

You certainly don't want to go out clubbing right now.

你現在肯定不想出去泡吧。

Would that be tough to have Stefan in there with you?

讓Stefan和你在一起會不會很辛苦?

- I think it'd be tough.

- 我覺得會很難。

I think Stefan would be a cool person to have in the house,

我覺得Stefan在家裡會是個很酷的人。

but I don't think he would stay

但我想他不會留下

in the house enough for me to trust him.

足夠讓我信任他。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

He just seems like he's always trying to be in the know

他看起來就像他總是試圖在知道

and be where people are,

並在人的地方。

and that's the exact opposite of life I'm living.

這和我的生活完全相反。

(both laughing)

（兩個笑）

I couldn't knowing Stefan.

我不認識Stefan

- What about Wayne and Garth?

- 那韋恩和加斯呢？

They're great, but do they have the same musical tastes

他們很好，但他們的音樂品味一樣嗎？

as you, would that work?

和你一樣，這樣可以嗎？

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would work.

- 是啊，是啊，是啊。這將工作。

'Cause they could teach me a lot about rock.

因為他們可以教我很多關於搖滾的東西。

I could teach them a lot about hip hop.

我可以教他們很多關於嘻哈的東西。

We could probably collab

我們也許可以合作

and make some real fun stuff together.

並一起做一些真正有趣的東西。

They look like they smoke hella weed.

他們看起來像他們抽的是大麻。

So it would be good.

所以，這將是很好的。

I think it'd be a good, that'd be a good combination.

我覺得會很好，這將是一個很好的組合。

- The Dick in the Box Guys?

- 盒子裡的屌絲們？

Would that be? - Lonely Island!

是嗎？- 孤獨島！

Oh, as the Dick in the Box Guys?

哦，就像 "盒子裡的迪克 "一樣？

- Yeah. - You know,

- 你知道的

I don't have enough boxes in here.

我這裡的箱子不夠用。

So I feel like at one point they dicks'

所以，我覺得在某一點上，他們dicks'。

just gonna be out and that's just awkward for everybody.

只是會被淘汰，這只是尷尬的大家。

- Yeah, or every time you open an Amazon box,

- 是啊，或者每次你打開亞馬遜的盒子。

what's in, ah, what's in there?

什麼是在，啊，什麼是在那裡？

- Yeah, man, I don't need to play peek-a-boo

- 是啊，夥計，我不需要玩躲貓貓的遊戲。

with your dick, man, put that away, bro.

用你的雞巴，男人，把它拿走，兄弟。

(Josh laughing)

（喬希笑）