about all different kinds of things.

關於各種不同的事情。

So with that in mind, I want to play a game

所以，在這種情況下，我想玩一個遊戲。

of "Wheel of Opinions!"

"意見之輪！"的

-♪ Wheel of opinions ♪

# 觀點之輪 #

-There you go. -[ Laughs ] I love that.

-這就對了-我喜歡這樣。

Got a theme tune.

有一個主題曲。

A lot of thought has gone into the game.

在遊戲中，我們花了很多心思。

-Here's how it works.

-下面是它的工作原理。

I'm gonna hit this button here, which is bluetooth

我要按一下這個按鈕，這是藍牙

attached to the studio,

附屬於工作室。

and it's going to activate the opinion topic generator.

並將激活意見主題生成器。

And it's going to land on a random topic.

而且要落在一個隨機的話題上。

-[ Laughs ]

-[笑]

-And whatever it is, you have to give your opinion on it.

-不管是什麼，你都要給出你的意見。

You ready for this?

你準備好了嗎？

-Yeah. -Alright, here we go buddy.

-好吧，我們走吧，夥計。

[ Beeping ]

[嗶嗶聲]

Horoscopes.

占星。

I like horoscopes.

我喜歡占星。

-[ Groans ] Ridiculous.

-荒唐

-What? -Nonsense.

-什麼？

-Why? -A pseudoscience.

-為什麼？為什麼？ - 一個偽科學。

How can your horoscope, how can people born

你的星座，怎麼會有出生的人呢？

around the same time have all the same characteristics?

大約在同一時間具有所有相同的特徵？

If they were in people's minds, because they --

如果他們在人們的腦海中，因為他們 -- --

First of all, they would make them flattering, don't they?

首先，他們會讓他們受寵若驚，不是嗎？

They say things like oh, Cancer, you're brave but considerate.

他們說，哦，巨蟹座，你很勇敢，但很體貼。

You know, Virgo, logical, hard working.

你知道的，處女座，邏輯性強，工作努力。

Not one star sign says,

沒有一個星象說。

"You've got bad breath and you're gullible."

"你有口臭，你很容易受騙。"

You know?

你知道嗎？

Those daily things that are, you know, predictions,

那些日常的事情，你知道，預測。

they're so vague.

他們是如此的模糊。

It's all things like, "Today you will seize an opportunity."

都是 "今天你要抓住一個機會 "這樣的事情。

Well, what does that mean?

那是什麼意思？

They've got to say something like...

他們必須說一些像... ...

If it said, "Sally Marsden in Teddington,

如果上面寫著 "特丁頓的莎莉-馬斯登"，那就好辦了。

your boss is going to fire you today because he knows

你的老闆今天要解僱你，因為他知道。

it was you that nicked the petty cash,"

是你偷了小錢，"

then I'd believe them.

那我就會相信他們。

But until then, it's absolute nonsense.

但在這之前，這絕對是無稽之談。

[ Ding ] -Let's hear another topic.

讓我們聽聽另一個話題。

Here we go.

我們走吧

[ Beeping ] -Made up nonsense.

胡說八道。

-Weed gummies.

-野草糖。

I don't think you're a weed gummy guy.

我不認為你是一個雜草膠質的傢伙。

-Well, I mean, I think they're probably good

-我的意思是，我認為他們可能是好的。

for weaning kids on to drugs.

為斷絕孩子們對毒品的依賴。

-[ Laughs ]

-[笑]

No! -If you're like,

如果你喜歡。

"Little Tommy won't smoke his joint."

"小湯米不會抽他的大麻。"

Give him a weed gummy. Give him a weed gummy.

給他一個雜草軟糖。給他一個雜草軟糖。

That will help.

這將有助於。

[ Laughing ] [ Ding ]

[笑] [丁]

-Here we go, another topic.

-又來了，又是一個話題。

[ Beeping ] We're moving.

我們正在移動。

Alright, mechanical pencils.

好吧，機械鉛筆。

When you click and the lead comes, you know.

當你點擊，線索來了，你就知道了。

-Why? What was up with the pencil?

-為什麼？為什麼？ 鉛筆是怎麼回事？

What was wrong with the pencil?

鉛筆有什麼問題？

Who is going these pencils, they're not good anymore?

這些鉛筆誰去了，不好用了？

What was wrong with it?

它有什麼問題？

This invention -- I remember when I worked

這個發明 -- 我記得當我工作時

in an office, it was a little arm

在辦公室裡，它是一個小臂

that went down when you wanted a paper clip.

當你想要一個回形針的時候，就下去了。

Like, people are going, "I can't pick up

就像，人們要去，"我不能拿起。

paper clips anymore.

紙夾子了。

Fingers are so passe.

手指是如此的過時。

I can't pick up paper."

我不能撿紙。"

It's been made up.

這是被編造出來的。

No one needed it. What was wrong with a pencil?

沒有人需要它。鉛筆怎麼了？

Although I think that about a lot of stuff,

雖然我覺得很多東西都是這樣。

like belt buckles now.

像皮帶扣了。

They're like trying to do the Rubik's cube.

他們就像在做魔術方塊一樣。

What was up with the belt?

腰帶是怎麼回事？

And watch straps, absolute nonsense.

而錶帶，絕對是廢話。

It's fine.

沒事的

I got a pair of trainers, and it was ridiculous.

我買了一雙運動鞋，太可笑了。

You had to pull open a thing, then pull them up

你必須拉開一個東西，然後把它們拉起來。

and then pull a drawstring.

然後拉動拉繩。

What was up with laces?

花邊是怎麼回事？

A pencil is fine.

鉛筆就可以了。

No one's ever -- no one's ever been disappointed with a pencil.

從來沒有人... 從來沒有人對鉛筆失望過。

It's never -- it's never been needed to be changed

從來沒有... ... 從來沒有需要改變過

-Well, imagine having --

-好吧，想象一下...

Imagine having a pencil that...

想象一下，如果有一支鉛筆...

-[ Laughs ]

-[笑]

-Some pencils have disappointed. [ Ding ]

-有些鉛筆讓人失望。[叮]

Let's just say. Let's just move on.

讓我們只說。讓我們繼續前進。

Here we go, another one.

又來了，又來了。

Last one, Ricky, then I'll leave you alone.

最後一個，瑞奇，那我就不打擾你了。

Thank you so much for doing this.

非常感謝你做的這些。

Here we go.

我們走吧

[ Beeping ]

[嗶嗶聲]

This is -- I don't know if we have time for this.

這... 我不知道我們是否有時間討論這個問題。

Space exploration.

空間探索；

-Ah, I mean, it depends for who.

-啊，我是說，這要看是誰了.

I like the idea there's a space program

我喜歡有一個太空計劃的想法。

and I love the feat that we've been over.

我愛的壯舉，我們已經結束了。

Satellites and, you know, Hubble telescope

衛星和，你知道，哈勃望遠鏡。

and we put a man on the moon.

我們把一個人放在月球上。

It's incredible.

太不可思議了

It makes me laugh as well.

這讓我也笑了。

When you see members of like, the human race taking credit

當你看到同類的成員，人類的功勞。

for things that a few people did.

為少數人做的事情。

Like, suddenly these people go, "We put a man on the moon."

就像，突然這些人去， "我們把一個人在月球上。"

I go, what do you mean we?

我去，什麼叫我們？

You live in a [bleep] bin.

你住在一個[嗶]垃圾桶裡。

You couldn't even point to the moon,

你甚至不能指著月亮。

so stop taking credit for things the rest of mankind have done.

所以，不要再為其他人類做過的事情邀功了。

-You had nothing to do with the moon landing.

-你與登月無關。

-Yeah, you did nothing

-是的，你什麼都沒做

And I think it's, you know, it's great as a science program.

我認為這是，你知道，這是一個偉大的科學計劃。

They're bringing in this thing where I was offered

他們把這個東西在那裡我被提供了

on one of these things to go in space for 15 minutes,

在這些東西中的一個去太空15分鐘。

and it was like a group of like billionaires

它就像一群喜歡的億萬富翁

and they offered me a chance to be the first comedian

他們給了我一個機會，成為第一個喜劇演員。

to do a stand-up show in space.

在太空中做一個脫口秀。

I went, no. I'm not going to risk --

我去了，沒有。我不會冒險...

That's mad.

這是瘋了。

I'm careful crossing the road.

我小心翼翼地過馬路。

Also, these people that pay like $300,000

還有，這些人，付出像30萬美元

to go in space and have a look around.

到太空中去看看。

They go, here's Ricky Gervais doing 10 minutes.

他們走了，這裡的瑞奇-傑維斯做10分鐘。

they can watch me on YouTube and now they've blown $300,000.

他們可以在YouTube上看我，現在他們已經吹了30萬美元。

Look out the window. That's the other thing.

看看窗外。這是另一件事。

People say let's go into space, and you look up.

大家說我們去太空吧，你抬頭看看。

We're in space.

我們在太空中。

We're in space now. We're right in the middle.

我們現在在太空中。我們就在中間。

There's nothing you can see that you can't see from here.

沒有什麼是你從這裡看不到的。

It's like me getting out of the chair and going over

這就像我從椅子上下來，然後去了。

there and going, I can see the chair from here.

那裡，去，我可以從這裡看到椅子。

You were in the chair. You were in the chair.

你在椅子上。你在椅子上。

There's nothing. You're not going to find --

什麼都沒有 There's nothing.你不會找到...

Well, we might find a new planet.

好吧，我們可能會找到一個新的星球。

Where is this planet?

這個星球在哪裡？

It'll take you about 1,000 years to get there.

你需要1000年才能到達那裡。

What do they expect a find when they freeze and they go there?

當他們凍住了，他們去那裡的時候，他們希望有什麼發現？

They expect to find this an amazing race of things

他們希望能發現這個神奇的種族的東西

that tells us all the secrets of the universe

洞悉天機

and it'll be big slug at that.

這將是一個大的蛞蝓。

And you'll get there and it's like -- You go,

你會到達那裡，它就像 - 你去。

Oh, is there -- how can we cure everything?

哦，有沒有... ...我們如何能治癒一切？

And they go, "I don't know.

他們就說："我不知道。

We're space -- we're space slugs.

我們是太空... 我們是太空蛞蝓。

We're absolute -- we're moronic.

我們是絕對的... 我們是白痴。

So it won't be what people think.

所以不會像大家想的那樣。

It will never be as good as people think.

它永遠不會像人們想象的那樣好。

So just stay at home and watch Netflix, "After Life."

所以，就在家裡看網劇 "後生"。

-We're in -- we're in space.

-我們在... 我們在太空中

-Yeah, we're right in the [bleep] middle of it.

-是的，我們正處在這中間。

[ Ding ] -[ Laughs ]

[叮] -[笑]

That's all the time we have for "Wheel of Opinions!"

我們的 "意見輪 "就到此為止了!

My thanks again to Ricky Gervais.

我再次感謝瑞奇-傑維斯。

You can watch his show "After Life" on Netflix.

你可以在Netflix上看他的節目《後生》。

Oh, my gosh.

哦，我的天哪。

My face hurts yet again. You've done it.

我的臉又疼了。是你乾的

Ricky, thanks so much for being here.

瑞奇，非常感謝你能來這裡。

I needed a laugh.

我需要笑一笑。