WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M JUST CLEANING MY GLASSES.

我只是在清洗我的眼鏡。

GIVE ME A SECOND HERE.

給我一秒鐘的時間

I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU GUYS WAITING, IT'S JUST THAT THIS IS

很抱歉讓你們久等了，只是這是

THE LAST SHOW OF THE WEEK, RARE FRIDAY SHOW, RARE FRIDAY SHOW AT

本週最後一場演出，罕見的週五演出，罕見的週五演出，在本週的最後一場演出。

THIS POINT.

這個點。

WE HAD A LIVE SHOW A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO.

我們有一個現場表演幾個晚上了。

I'M STILL RIDING OUT THAT HIGH.

我還在騎出那麼高。

AND I DON'T KNOW IF MY GLASSES ARE DIRTY OR JUST MY CORNAS

我也不知道是我的眼鏡髒了還是我的玉米棒壞了。

REFUSE TO FOCUS ANYMORE.

拒絕關注了。

I'M HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE-- THERE YOU GO.

我有點小麻煩... ...給你。

THERE ARE THE WORDS RIGHT THERE.

有字就在那裡。

I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT I WILL SAY TONIGHT.

我迫不及待地想知道我今晚會說什麼。

THE SQUIRREL CAGE NEEDS HOSING OUT UP THERE.

松鼠籠需要在那裡安裝一個套筒。

HAPPY FRIDAY?

星期五快樂？

IT'S THE END OF THE FIRST WEEK OF A BRAND-NEW YEAR, WHICH MEANS

這是一個全新的一年的第一週結束，這意味著

IT'S TIME FOR MY NEW SEGMENT: "2021, THE WEEK THAT FELT LIKE A

現在是時候為我的新部門，"2021年，那一週，感覺像一個

YEAR: A LOOK BACK."

年：回顧"。

WHERE TO BEGIN?

從哪裡開始？

MONDAY.

MONDAY.

WHAT HAPPENED ON MONDAY?

星期一發生了什麼事？

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

我不記得了。

BUT, ON TUESDAY, THERE WAS THE BIG RUNOFF ELECTION DOWN IN

但是，在星期二，有一個大的競選下來，在這裡

GEORGIA.

喬治亞州：

I KNOW THAT BECAUSE ON WEDNESDAY, I WAS GOING TO HAVE

我知道，因為在週三，我將有。

FUN TALKING ABOUT WINNERS HEADED TO THE SENATE.

有趣的是，談起參議院的獲勝者。

BUT I HAD TO SCRAP ALL THAT WHEN THOSE LOSERS HEADED TO THE

但當那些失敗者去了之後，我不得不取消了所有這些。

SENATE.

參議院：

IT WAS AMAZING.

它是一個驚人的。

TUESDAY, I MEAN, NOTLET WEDNESDAY THING.

週二，我的意思是，不是讓週二的事情。

THAT WAS-- WHEN WAS IT?

那是... 什麼時候的事？

WHAT DAY IS THIS?

今天是什麼日子？

>> ARE THE.

>> 是的。

>> Stephen: THIS IS FRIDAY.

>> Stephen:這是星期五。

WEDNESDAY WAS THE BAD DAY.

週三是糟糕的一天。

TUESDAY WAS THE FUN NIGHT THAT WE FOUND OUT ON WEDNESDAY BUT I

週二是我們在週二發現的有趣的夜晚，但我。

COULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

不能談論它。

THERE YOU GO.

你去那裡。

TUESDAY WAS AMAZING.

週二真是太棒了。

I SPENT THE WHOLE EVENING BREATHLESSLY WATCHING JOHN KING

我花了整個晚上的時間，一口氣看完了約翰-金的節目。

AND STEVE KORNACKI WITH THEIR TOUCHSCREENS, AFTER DARK.

和STEVE KORNACKI與他們的觸摸屏，在黑暗之後。

>> 50,000 VOTES DIFFERENCE, RIGHT?

>> 50,000票的差異，對不對？

OR 40,000 VOTES DIFFERENCE.

或40,000票的差異。

130,000 NICK SAYS MR. STERLING WAS SAYING, 171,000

130,000 NICK SAYS MR. STERLING WAS SAYING, 171,000STERLING說，171,000元

VOTES.

投票：

>> YOU'RE SITTING ON 170,000, 180,000 OR SO VOTES TO BE

>>你坐擁17萬，18萬左右的選票，可以成為

REPORTED OUT, RIGHT, WHERE I THINK YOU CAN CERTAINLY EXPECT

報告出來，對了，我想你可以肯定預期的地方。

DEMOCRATS TO BE GETTING AT LEAST 80% OF THOSE VOTES, AND PROBABLY

民主黨將獲得至少80％的選票，而且可能是。

MORE.

更多

>> Stephen: GOT IT.

>> Stephen:得到了它。

I'M CRUNCHING THE LATEST NUMBERS OUT OF GEORGIA, AS THEY CONTINUE

我正在計算喬治亞州最新的數字，因為他們繼續。

TO TRICKLE IN.

TO TRICKLE IN.

WE'RE WATCHING PARTICULARLY MILITARY BALLOTS RIGHT NOW.

我們現在特別關注的是軍事投票。

I'M GOING TO PULL UP CHATHAM COUNTY, OKAY.

我要去查塔姆縣，好嗎？

ANNND... NOTHING.

ANNND...什麼都沒有。

I GUESS THE RESULTS ARE ALL IN FROM CHATHAM COUNTY.

我猜查塔姆郡的結果都出來了。

LET'S LOOK AT THIS AREA.

讓我們來看看這個區域。

IS IT HERE?

在這裡嗎？

IS IT-- WHERE DO I-- IS IT COBB?

是... 我在哪裡... 是庫伯嗎？

THIS VOICE-ACTIVATED, JIM HAD?

這個聲音活躍，吉姆有？

CA-BABA.

CA-BABA。

CAN WE PUT UP A WEATHER MAP OR ANYTHING, JIM?

我們能不能把天氣圖或者其他東西放上去，吉姆？

I'M BEING TOLD THIS TOUCHSCREEN IS BROKEN?

有人告訴我這個觸摸屏壞了？

IT DOES NOT WORK.

它不工作。

IT NEVER WORKED.

它從來沒有工作。

IT'S NOT A TOUCHSCREEN.

這不是一個觸摸螢幕。

AND I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT BEFORE.

我以前也說過這話。

IS THERE MATH TO BE HAD HERE?

這裡有數學可做嗎？

>> THERE IS MATH-- THERE IS MATH TO BE HAD HERE.

>> 這裡有數學 -- 這裡有數學可以用。

>> YOU CAN DO THE MATH HERE: 54 AND 29 AND 83 AND 84.

>> 你可以在這裡做數學。54和29和83和84。

>> Stephen: GOT IT.

>> Stephen:得到了它。

54, 29, 83, 84, WITH A POWERBALL OF 6, TIMES 170,000.

五十四、二十九、八十三、八十四，六號球，十七萬倍。

KEEP FEEDING ME, BOYS!

繼續餵我，孩子們！

KEEP FEEDING ME!

繼續餵我！

>> YOU'RE A LITTLE OVER 85,000 IS YOUR TURNOUT IN THE NOVEMBER

>> 你在11月的投票率是85,000多一點。

GENERAL ELECTION.

大選：

YOU'RE A BIT NORTH OF 68,000 HERE.

你在68,000的北邊。

>> SO, NOW YOU ARE AT 1.8, 1.7, 3.5-- ADD UP, YOU'RE A LITTLE

>> 所以，現在你在1.8，1.7，3.5 -- 加起來，你是一個小的

HIGHER THAN THAT.

比這還高。

>> Stephen: OKAY, GOT IT.

>> Stephen:好了，明白了。

ADDING THINGS MAKES THEM HIGHER, GOT IT.

加東西會讓它們更高，明白了。

OKAY, 1.8 ADDING 29, 40,000-- PLUS OR MINUS-- DIVIDED BY THE

好的，1.8加29，40000--加或減--除以：

SQUARE ROOT OF "ISH?" AND THE RESULTS ARE...

"ISH "的平方根？而結果是...

(BLEEP) YOU, MITCH MCCONNELL.

你，MITCH MCCONNELL.

YOU LOST.

你輸了。

I'M GOING TO SIT DOWN.

我要坐下來。

I THINK I HUFFED TOO MANY INTEGERS.

我想我弄壞了太多的英特格爾。

THE FIRST RACE THEY CALLED TUESDAY NIGHT WAS SENATOR-ELECT

週二晚上他們宣佈的第一場比賽是參議員當選人的比賽

RAPHAEL WARNOCK-- SEEN HERE OUT-CUTEING A PUPPY-- WHO

RAPHAEL WARNOCK-- SEEN HERE OUT-CUTEING A PUPPY-- WHO

DEFEATED APPOINTED SENATOR AND LADY WHO HAS TO GO TO THE HORSE

失敗被任命為參議員和必須去馬的女士。

BARBER, KELLY LOEFFLER.

Barber, KELLY LOEFFLER.

WITH HIS VICTORY, WARNOCK BECOMES THE FIRST BLACK SENATOR

隨著他的勝利，沃諾克成為第一個黑人参議員。

IN GEORGIA HISTORY.

在格魯吉亞歷史上。

WOW, REALLY?

哇，房地產？

IS THAT TRUE?

是真的嗎？

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: GEORGIA HAS THE THIRD-HIGHEST BLACK POPULATION

>> 史蒂芬: 格魯吉亞是黑人人口第三高的地方。

IN AMERICA, AND UNTIL NOW, IT HAD NEVER BEEN REPRESENTED BY A

在美國，直到現在，它從來沒有代表過一個國家。

THAT'S LIKE NEW MEXICO NEVER HAVING A NATIVE AMERICAN

這就像新墨西哥州從來沒有一個美國土著人一樣

SENATOR.

參議員：

WHAT?

什麼？

IT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S GIVEN UP HIS CHURCH WORK.

這並不意味著他放棄了他的教會工作。

>> I INTEND TO RETURN TO MY PULPIT AND PREACH ON SUNDAY

>> 我打算在週日回到我的講壇上講道。

MORNINGS AND TO TALK TO THE PEOPLE.

早晨，並與人民交談。

>> Stephen: MAYBE THE REVEREND CAN HIRE THIS

>> 也許牧師可以僱用這個。

SOON-TO-BE-UNEMPLOYED PERSON AS HIS BIBLE HOLDER.

即將失業的人作為他的聖經持有者。

ON ELECTION NIGHT, LOEFFLER REFUSED TO CONCEDE.

在選舉當晚，拉夫勒拒絕讓步。

>> WE'RE GONNA WIN THIS ELECTION.

>> 我們將贏得這次選舉。

WE'RE GONNA SAVE THIS COUNTRY.

我們要拯救這個國家。

WE GOT SOME WORK TO DO HERE.

我們有一些工作要做。

THIS IS A GAME OF INCHES.

這是一場寸土必爭的遊戲。

>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY, I SEE WHAT YOU DID WRONG THERE.

>> Stephen:好吧，好吧，我知道你做錯了什麼。

IT'S ACTUALLY A GAME OF VOTES, AND HE GOT MORE.

這實際上是一個遊戲的選票， 他得到了更多。

IT TOOK UNTIL WEDNESDAY BUT, EVENTUALLY, THE OTHER RACE WAS

它需要到週三，但是，結果是，另一場比賽是。

CALLED FOR INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST AND BOY DEMANDING

要求調查記者和男孩的要求。

THAT BEDTIME BE PUSHED TO 9:15, JON OSSOFF, WHO DEFEATED

睡覺時間推遲到9點15分，JON OSSOFF，他擊敗了... ...

INCUMBENT SENATOR AND MAN SHOWING JUST HOW BIG OF A TOOL

現任參議員和男子顯示出多大的工具。

HE IS, DAVID PERDUE.

他是，戴維迷路了。

THE BIG NEWS IS, WITH THESE VICTORIES, THE DEMOCRATS WILL

最大的消息是，隨著這些勝利，民主黨人將會

NOW CONTROL THE SENATE.

現在要控制參議院

IT'S BEEN SO LONG, THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FLIP THROUGH THE

已經這麼久了，他們要翻閱一下。

OWNER'S MANUAL.

用戶手冊。

"HEY, HEY, LOOK AT THIS!

"嘿，嘿，看看這個！

DID YOU KNOW WE'RE ALLOWED TO HOLD VOTES?

你知道我們可以保留投票權嗎？

OOH, HEATED POWER SEATS."

哦，加熱的電動座椅。"

IT ALSO MEANS THAT SENATOR CHUCK SCHUMER WILL REPLACE SENATOR

這也意味著CHUCK SCHUMER參議員將接替CHUCK SCHUMER參議員。

MITCH McCONNELL AS MAJORITY LEADER.

MITCH McCONNELL AS MAJORITY LEADER：

THAT OUGHT TO WIPE THE SMILE OFF OF McCONNELL'S...

那應該能抹去麥康奈爾的笑容... ...

FACE?

臉？

CAN WE CHECK, JIM?

我們可以檢查一下嗎，吉姆？

THE SENATE WILL ACTUALLY BE SPLIT 50-50, WITH VICE

參議院實際上將五五分成，與副議長。

PRESIDENT-ELECT KAMALA HARRIS HOLDING THE TIEBREAKER THAT

當選主席卡馬拉-哈里斯握著的領帶。

DETERMINES CONTROL.

確定控制權。

SO, ESSENTIALLY, HARRIS IS STILL GOING TO BE A SENATOR.

所以，毫無疑問，哈里斯仍然會成為參議員。

PRETTY ON BRAND FOR AMERICA TO ELECT THEIR FIRST WOMAN VICE

美國選出首位女副總統的 "漂亮品牌

PRESIDENT AND MAKE HER DO HER OLD JOB,TOO.

主席，讓她做她的老工作，也。

ONLY PAY HER FOR ONE OF THEM.

只為其中之一付錢給她。

FAILURE FALLS AT THE FEET OF THE PRESIDENT.

失敗落在主席的腳下。

THE GEORGIA G.O.P. NEEDED HIM TO RALLY HIS BASE, BUT INSTEAD, HE

格魯吉亞政府需要他來召集他的基地，但他卻沒有這樣做。

DEMONIZED THE STATE'S REPUBLICAN LEADERS AND PEDDLED BASELESS

譴責該州的共和黨領導人，並對其進行無底線教育

CLAIMS THAT GEORGIA'S ELECTORAL SYSTEM WAS RIGGED.

聲稱喬治亞州的選舉制度是被操縱的。

NOT EXACTLY A WINNING STRATEGY.

不完全是一個勝利的策略。

IT REMINDS ME OF THIS STIRRING PREGAME SPEECH FROM COACH

這讓我想起了教練的這段令人振奮的賽前演講。

TAYLOR: >> RIGGED GAME!

泰勒： >> 遊戲規則!

YOU SUCK!

你真討厭！

LET'S LOSE!

我們輸了！

>> Stephen: EVEN ONE OF THE PRESIDENT'S OWN ADVISERS

>> Stephen: 甚至是總統的顧問之一。

SAID,"THE PRESIDENT (BLEEP) THE PARTY.

說，"主席（BLEEP）黨。

HE (BLEEP) THE PARTY.

他（BLEEP）黨。

SO THE BAD NEWS FOR THE G.O.P.

所以G. O. P. 的壞消息。

IS YOU GOT SCREWED.

是你得到了SCREWED。

THE GOOD NEWS?

好消息？

YOU GET A CHECK FOR $130,000.

你會得到一張13萬美元的支票。

( ♪ GROOVE IS IN THE HEART ♪ ) >> ONE MORE SLAM FOR THE ROAD!

( # GROOVE IS IN THE HEART # ) >> 再來一記路邊的猛擊!

>> Stephen: THIS COMES AFTER THE PRESIDENT ALREADY LOST IN

>> 斯蒂芬: 這是在主席已經輸掉的情況下發生的。

GEORGIA IN NOVEMBER, THEN LOST A RECOUNT, THEN LOST A RECOUNT OF

格魯吉亞在11月，然後失去了一個計數，然後失去了一個計數的。

THE RECOUNT, AND THEN, TUESDAY, LOST TWO RUNOFFS.

計數，然後，週二，失去了兩場競選。

THIS GUY HAS LOST GEORGIA FIVE TIMES.

這傢伙已經失去了格魯吉亞五次。

AND WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT?

他又有什麼可炫耀的呢？

>> YOU GET NOTHING!

>> 你什麼都得不到！

YOU LOSE!

你輸了！

GOOD DAY, SIR!

你好，先生！

>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR THAT ANALYSIS, WILLY.

>> 史蒂芬：謝謝你的分析，WILLY。

SPEAKING OF THE PRESIDENT LOSING: THE PRESIDENT LOST.

主席先生，我謹此陳辭。主席輸了。

WHICH MEANS BIDEN'S INAUGURATION IS GOING TO HAPPEN ON JANUARY

這意味著比登的就職典禮將在1月舉行。

20, WHETHER THE PRESIDENT LIKES IT OR NOT.

20、不管主席喜不喜歡。

FOR THE RECORD, NOT.

為記錄在案，不：

THANKS TO THE PANDEMIC, THEY'RE MAKING SOME ADJUSTMENTS TO

由於PANDEMIC，他們正在做一些調整，以達到。

BIDEN'S SWEARING-IN CEREMONY.

比登的宣誓就職儀式。

FOR INSTANCE, THEY'VE ELIMINATED THE TRADITIONAL INAUGURAL

他們暫時取消了傳統的就職典禮

PARADE.

PARADE：

SO TO ALL YOU DIE-HARD INAUG-HEADS OUT THERE, I'M

所以對於你們這些死心塌地的就職典禮的人，我...

SORRY.

對不起。

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO GO STAND IN THE COLD AND WAVE AT TRAFFIC ON

你只需要站在寒冷的環境中，對著路上的車流揮手。

YOUR OWN TIME.

你自己的時間。

CANCELLING THE PARADE IS JUST PART OF WHAT THE INAUGURAL

取消遊行只是就職典禮的一部分。

COMMITTEE SAYS WILL BE A SIGNIFICANTLY SCALED-DOWN

委員會表示，將大幅縮減。

CEREMONY THAT WILL FEATURE STRINGENT HEALTH AND SAFETY

儀式將強調嚴格的健康和安全。

PROTOCOLS.

PROTOCOLS：

OF COURSE, THE CURRENT PRESIDENT WAS WAY AHEAD OF THE CURVE ON

當然，現任總統在以下問題上走在了前頭

SOCIALLY DISTANCED INAUGURATION.

社會距離的就職典禮。

SPEAKING OF STAINS ON THE COUNTRY THAT WILL LINGER LONG

談到將長期存在的國家上的汙漬問題

PAST THIS PRESIDENT, WE'RE STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF AN

過了這個主席，我們仍然在一箇中間的

UNPRECEDENTED PANDEMIC.

毫無預兆的泛濫。

AND IT'S CHANGED THE WAY WE DO ALMOST EVERYTHING, INCLUDING

它改變了我們做任何事情的方式，包括... ...

WATCHING MOVIES.

看電影。

WE'RE CATCHING EVEN THE BIGGEST NEW BLOCKBUSTERS AT HOME ON THE

我們正在捕捉甚至最大的新BLOCKBUSTERS在家裡的上

COUCH, AND LAST MONTH, WARNER BROTHERS ANNOUNCED ALL ITS 2021

COUCH，上個月，WARNER BROTHERS公佈了我所有的2021年。

FILMS WILL ARRIVE IN THEATERS AND STREAMING ON HBO MAX

電影將在影院和HBO MAX上播放。

SIMULTANEOUSLY, INCLUDING "THE MATRIX 4."

包括 "矩陣4"。

THAT'S SO EXCITING!

太興奮了！

I CAN'T WAIT TO ESCAPE INTO A FANTASY WORLD WHERE ALL HUMAN

我迫不及待地想逃進一個夢幻般的世界，在那裡所有的人類

CONTACT IS VIRTUAL AND WE'RE KEPT IMMOBILE WHILE CONSUMING

聯繫是虛擬的，我們在消費時保持移動。

HIGH-CALORIE SLUDGE.

高熱量的泥漿。

EVERYONE IS WONDERING WHEN GOING TO THE MOVIES AND WHEN IT WILL

大家都在想，什麼時候去看電影，什麼時候去看電影？

FEEL NORMAL AGAIN.

感覺正常了。

AND WHEN THAT TIME FINALLY COMES, WE'VE GOT A PREVIEW OF

當那個時候終於到來的時候，我們已經得到了一個預覽的。

THE MOST-ANTICIPATED FILM OF THE YEAR.

今年最令人期待的電影：

>> OUR WORLD WAS ABANDONED.

>> 我們的世界被拋棄了。

THE PEOPLE DEIFIED IT, ALONE AND AFRAID.

人們把它丟棄了，孤獨和恐懼。

DESPERATE FOR A WAY TO COME TOGETHER.

迫切希望能有辦法走到一起。

DESPERATE FOR A MOVIE.

渴望電影。

REALLY, ANY MOVIE IN A THEATER WOULD BE GREAT.

真的，任何一部電影在影院都會很棒。

>> A ROMANTIC COMEDY, A SPY THRILLER, OR ANOTHER MARVEL

>> 一部愛情喜劇，一部間諜驚悚片，還是另一部MARVEL？

THING.

事情。

I WOULD EVEN SIT THROUGH ONE OF THOSE MOVIES WHERE A DOG TEACHES

我甚至願意坐著看那些狗教人的電影... ...

THE FAMILY THE TRUE MEANING OF JESUS-- OR WHATEVER.

家庭... ...耶穌的真正意義... ...或其他什麼。

>> TOGETHER, WE WILL SEE THE LIGHT.

>> 團結起來，我們將看到光明。

WE WILL HEAR THE SOUND.

我們會聽到這個聲音。

AND TOGETHER, WE WILL HAVE TO SIT THROUGH 20 MINUTES OF ADS

我們將不得不坐在20分鐘的廣告。

BEFORE THEY EVEN START THE PREVIEWS.

之前，他們甚至開始預覽。

>> A MUTINY OF FLAVOR IN EVERY BITE.

>> 每一口都有不同的味道。

♪ ♪ ♪ >> WAIT, THERE'S 400 NEW HOURS

等等，還有400個新小時。

OF "STAR WARS" COMING?

"星球大戰 "要來了？

MAYBE I'M GOOD.

也許我是好的。

>> THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED AS THE FUTURE REMAINS A DARK

>> 本片尚未評級，未來仍是一片黑暗。

ENIGMA.

ENIGMA：

>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A BLOCKBUSTER OF A SHOW FOR YOU

>> 我們為你準備了一場精彩的演出。

TONIGHT.

今晚。

I'M UNVEILING A NEW INTERVIEW SEGMENT CALLED "THE COLBERT

我將推出一個新的採訪部分，稱為 "COLBERT"。

QUESTIONNAIR," WHERE I ASK THE SAME SET OF QUESTIONS TO

問卷"，在那裡我問同樣的問題集，以

SUPERSTARS MERYL STREEP, GEORGE CLOONEY, AND TOM HANKS.

超級明星MERYL STREEP，GEORGE CLOONEY，和TOM HANKS。

WHICH ONE IS FIRST?

哪一個是第一？

YOU HAVE TO STICK AROUND TO FIND OUT.

你必須堅持下去才能知道。

IT'S HANKS.

它的漢克斯。

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪