Name: 什麼是受虐狂？ (What Is Masochism?)
Uploaded: 2021-01-06T18:05:45.000Z
Duration: 5 min 29 s

副詞型分詞構句

Without quite realising it, many of us are masochists..

在不知不覺中，我們很多人都是受虐狂。

The word derives, somewhat unfairly for him and his family, from the Austrian 19th century

這個詞的來源，對他和他的家庭來說，有點不公平，來自奧地利19世紀的。

aristocrat and writer, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. As a young man, Leopold made a conventional

貴族和作家，利奧波德-馮-薩切爾-馬索克。年輕時，利奧波德以傳統的方式

marriage to a fellow member of the nobility, Aurora von Rümelin, but he swiftly discovered

和一個貴族同胞Aurora von Rümelin結婚，但他很快發現

that his sexual tastes could not be accommodated within the relationship. When he was contacted

他的性品味無法在這段關係中得到滿足。當他被聯繫到

by an admiring reader, a Baroness Fanny Pistor, under the ostensible excuse of seeking help

由一位愛慕的讀者，範妮-皮斯托男爵夫人，以尋求幫助為名，提出的。

with her writing style, he was able to discover a whole new side to his sexual identity. What

在她的寫作風格下，他能夠發現自己性身份的全新一面。什麼？

he wanted most of all was that Fanny would dress in a grand and imperious-looking fur

他最希望的是，芬妮能穿上一件看起來氣勢磅礴的皮草。

coat, flog him, dominate him and treat him with haughty cruelty. He wanted Fanny to call

大衣，鞭打他，支配他，用傲慢殘忍的態度對待他。他想讓芬妮叫

him 'Gregor', at that time a popular servant's name - and when they travelled, despite being

他的名字叫'格雷戈爾'，在當時是一個很流行的僕人名字--當他們旅行的時候，儘管他們是

far wealthier than her, insisted on being forced to sit in third class while she took

比她富有得多的人，堅持要坐三等艙，而她卻要坐三等艙

her place in first. Leopold's proclivities, which he wrote up in a lightly disguised novella

她的位置在第一。利奧波德的癖好，他在一篇輕描淡寫的小說中寫了起來。

called Venus in Furs, caught the interests of the Austrian psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing,

稱為 "皮草中的維納斯"，引起了奧地利精神病學家理查德-馮-克拉夫特-埃賓的興趣。

who (despite Leopold's family's protestations) included them in his landmark compendium of

他（不顧利奧波德家人的抗議）將它們列入了他的里程碑式的簡編中。

kinks, Psychopathology of Sex published in 1890 - which introduced the world to the term

在1890年出版的《性心理學》一書中，向世界介紹了 "性變態 "一詞。

'masochist': a person sexually aroused by being on the receiving end of pain.

'受虐狂'：一個人因承受痛苦而產生性慾。

We now understand a sexual masochist as somebody who might want to be called obscenities, have

我們現在理解的性受虐狂是指那些可能想被人罵髒話的人，有的人可能想被人罵髒話，有的人可能想被人罵髒話。

their hair pulled or their skin scratched or ordered to describe themselves in highly

頭髮被扯斷、皮膚被抓破，或被命令用高度概括的語言來描述他們自己

derogatory and humiliating terms - albeit, it must be stressed, with explicit consent,

貶低和羞辱性的詞語 -- -- 但必須強調的是，要經過明確的同意；

for anything else would be merely abusive.

The mystery is why this could prove so appealing and at points so necessary - to which psychotherapy

謎團是為什麼這可以證明是如此的吸引人，而且在某些時候是如此的必要--對哪些心理治療

has a powerful answer. For the masochist, cruel treatment in sex play is experienced,

有一個強有力的答案。對於受虐者來說，在性遊戲中會體驗到殘酷的待遇。

first and foremost, as a relief - a relief from the inauthenticity and alienating sentimentality

首先，作為一種解脫--從不真實和異化的情愫中解脫出來。

that can otherwise flow from being treated with generous respect. Masochists tend not

否則可以從被慷慨的尊重中流露出來。受虐狂往往不

to think too highly of themselves; if others insist on handling them with kid gloves, they

自視過高，如果別人堅持用童子手套來處理，他們就會

cannot feel seen and understood. It only starts to seem properly real and hence properly exciting

不能感覺到看到和理解。它只有開始顯得適當的真實，是以適當的刺激。

when a special partner spots the very deep secret about them: that they are (at least

當一個特殊的伴侶發現了他們身上很深的祕密：他們是（至少是）。

for a time and in a certain way) a stupid idiot who deserves a severe beating.

在一段時間內，以一定的方式）一個愚蠢的白痴，應該受到嚴厲的打擊。

Though the phenomenon of masochism began with, and has remained most fully connected up to

雖然受虐現象開始與，並一直保持最充分的聯繫，直到。

sex, it exists no less powerfully in the emotional realm. There may indeed be many more emotional

性，它在情感領域的存在力度不亞於性。可能確實還有很多情感

masochists at large than there are sexual ones. As with sexual masochism, emotional

受虐者比性受虐者多。與性受虐一樣，情感上的受虐也是如此。

masochism is rooted in self-suspicion. Emotional masochists do not deep down feel as if they

受虐症的根源在於自我懷疑。情感受虐者在內心深處並不覺得自己是

are entirely loveable people worthy of careful appreciation and kindness. If someone treats

是完全值得仔細欣賞和善待的人。如果有人對待

them well in love, an emotional masochist would soon enough need to dismiss them as

戀愛中的他們，一個情感受虐狂很快就會需要把他們當作

needy and deluded. Why - after all - would anyone feel better about them than they feel

貧窮和受騙。為什麼--畢竟--有人對他們的感覺會比他們的感覺更好呢？

In order to stop being an emotional masochist, it is vital to start to imagine that one might

為了不再成為一個情感受虐狂，開始想象自己可能會被

be one; to start to see - perhaps for the first time - the ways in which one is engaged

作為一個人；開始看到--也許是第一次--一個人參與的方式。

in self-sabotage and has made an unconscious commitment to loneliness and frustration.

在自我破壞中，並對孤獨和挫折做出了無意識的承諾。

The task is also to see that the origins of all this lie, as ever, in early life, where

我們的任務也是要看到，這一切的起源，一如既往地在早期的生活中，在那裡

the masochist is liable to have relied on the affections of a parental figure who exhibited,

受虐者有可能依賴父母的感情，而父母的感情表現在：

alongside love, a high degree of cruelty, neglect or violence - leading the child to

在愛的同時，高度的殘忍、忽視或暴力------導致孩子們

a conviction that their destiny must lie in suffering rather than fulfilment.

堅信他們的命運必須在於受苦而不是實現，

The most relevant difference between sexual and emotional masochism is that the former

性受虐和情感受虐最相關的區別在於，前者是

activity will, in the right circumstances, be a lot of fun, whereas the latter one is

活動，在適當的情況下，將是一個很大的樂趣，而後一個是

never anything other than slow bitter hell. We owe it to ourselves to start to see the

除了緩慢的苦難地獄，沒有其他的東西。我們有責任為自己開始看清...

myriad of ways in which we may for far too long have been holding ourselves back from

長期以來，我們可能以各種方式阻礙了自己的發展。

healthy relationships, not out of any kink or necessity, just because our past has unfairly

健康的人際關係，不是出於任何的糾結或需要，只是因為我們的過去不公平地。

imbued us with a sense that unfeeling treatment is all we deserve.

給我們灌輸了一種感覺，那就是無情的待遇是我們應得的。