WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎回到 "深夜秀"。

HOPE YOU'RE STAYING WARM.

希望你能保持溫暖。

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

讓我們向先生問好。JON BATISTE.

JON, WHERE YOU ARE, ARE YOU GETTING POUNDED WITH SNOW RIGHT

喬恩，你在哪裡，你現在被雪打了嗎？

NOW?

現在？

>> Jon: YES, I AM, THERE'S SO MUCH SNOW OUTSIDE.

>> 喬恩。是的，我是，外面的雪太大了。

YOU KNOW, IT'S A WHITE CHRISTMAS.

你知道，這是一個白色的聖誕節。

>> Stephen: DID YOU-- NO SNOW.

>> Stephen:你有沒有... ... 沒有雪。

THERE'S NEVER SNOW IN NEW ORLEANS, RIGHT, EVER FOR ANYONE

新奧爾良永遠不會下雪，對，永遠不會有人下。

REASON?

原因是什麼？

>> Jon: NO,UN THE 17 YEARS THEY GREW UP IN NEW ORLEANS, WE

>> 喬恩。不，在17年的時間裡，他們在新奧爾良長大，我們。

DIDN'T HAVE SNOW ONE TIME.

沒有下雪一次。

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

你相信嗎？

>> Stephen: SO NEVER A SNOW DAY?

>> 史蒂芬：所以從來沒有下雪天？

NEVER A SNOW DAY.

從來沒有一個雪天。

>> Jon: NO, NEVER A SNOW DAY, MAN.

>> 不，永遠不會有下雪天，夥計。

WE HAD LONG FALL.

我們有很長的秋天。

( LAUGHTER ) FALL EXTENDED, YOU KNOW.

（笑）秋天延長，你知道的。

>> Stephen: WELL, JON, I'M ABOUT TO TALK TO MR. TOM HANKS.

>> Stephen:好吧，喬恩，我要和先生談談了。TOM HANKS.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU GOT, A LITTLE MUSIC-- MUSIC FOR HANKS?

你有什麼東西嗎，一點音樂... ... 手柄的音樂？

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, THE HANKS-- THE BEAUTIFUL MR. HANKS.

>> 喬恩：是的，是的，漢克斯 -- 美麗的漢克斯先生。漢克斯：

♪ ♪ ♪ THAT'S SOMETHING FOR HANKS.

"這就是漢克的事。

>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

>> Stephen:JON BATISTE，每個人。

THANK YOU, JON.

謝謝你，喬恩。

>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

>> 喬恩。是的，確實如此。

♪ DA-DEE-DA♪ >> Stephen: MY GUEST THIS

DA -DEE -DA♪ >> 斯蒂芬。我的客人這

EVENING IS A GREAT BIG MOVIE STAR WHO HAS A NEW FILM, "NEWS

EVENING是一個偉大的大電影明星，他有一個新的電影，"新聞"。

OF THE WORLD."

的世界。"

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," TOM HANKS!

歡迎回到 "晚間節目"，湯姆-漢克斯！

HELLO, TOM.

你好，TOM。

>> HEY, STEVE.

>> 嘿，史蒂夫。

HOW ARE YOU?

你怎麼樣？

>> Stephen: I'M DOING-- I'M DOING OKAY.

>> 我正在做 -- 我正在做的還好。

IT'S-- I'M IN THE OFFICE NOW.

我... 我現在在辦公室裡。

LAST TIME YOU SAW ME, I WAS AT HOME.

上次你看到我的時候，我在家裡。

I'M-- >> YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TALKING

我... ... 你知道，我一直在說話。

TO YOUR CRACK STAFF.

給你的克雷克員工。

I'M A LITTLE DISTURBED BY THIS DUAL OFFICE THING YOU HAVE.

我對你這種雙辦公室的做法有點不安。

>> Stephen: WHAT?

>> Stephen:什麼？

>> BECAUSE I JUST READ-- I JUST READ THAT PUTIN-- THAT'S RIGHT,

>> 因為我剛剛讀到... 我剛剛讀到普京... 沒錯。

THAT PUTIN-- HAS TWO IDENTICAL OFFICES, ONE IN THE KREMLIN IN

那個普京有兩個不同的辦公室 一個在克里姆林，另一個在...

MOSCOW, AND THEN ONE ON THE BEACH DOWN ON THE BLACK SEA.

莫斯科，然後在黑海的海灘上拍一張。

AND SO NO ONE REALLY KNOWS IS HE AT WORK?

所以沒人知道他在工作嗎？

IS HE IN THE WORK OFFICE?

他在工作辦公室嗎？

OR IS HE-- IS HE DOWN THERE?

還是他... 他在下面嗎？

IT STRIKES ME AS A VERY, YOU KNOW, DESPOTIC THING TO DO TO

這讓我覺得很，你知道的，很卑鄙的事情，對...

HAVE TWO OFFICES.

有兩間辦公室。

SO WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.

所以我們甚至不知道你在哪裡。

>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS THE REAL STEPHEN COLBERT

>> 斯蒂芬：你不知道這是否是真正的斯蒂芬-科爾伯特。

OR IF IT'S MY BODY DOUBLE.

或者如果是我的身體雙倍。

>> YOU COULD HAVE A GUY THAT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE YOU WITH THE

>> 你可以有一個人，有點像你的人，用的是什麼？

BAD HAIR AND THE WHOLE BIT AND A COUPLE OF PROSTHETICS --

糟糕的頭髮和整個比特和一些假體 -- -- 頭髮和整個比特和一些假體 -- --

>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO GO FOR THE EAR.

>> 你必須去找耳朵。

BALDY!

禿子！

( LAUGHTER ) >> OH, MAN, I WISH I HAD

（笑） >> 哦，夥計，我希望我有。

SOMETHING FOR YOU.

給你的東西。

>> Stephen: YOU EVER SEE THAT MOVIE "DAVE?"

>> Stephen: 你有沒有看過那部電影 "戴夫"？

I COULD BE KEVIN KLINE RIGHT NOW.

我現在就可以成為凱文-克萊恩了。

>> YOU COULD-- YOU COULD BE, YOU COULD BE.

>> 你可以... 你可以，你可以。

>> Stephen: TOM, TOM HANKS, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE

>> Stephen:TOM，TOM HANKS，這是你第二次來了。

JOINED US UNDER COVID CONDITIONS.

加入我們的條件是有條件的。

THAT GIVES YOU SOME-- SOME IDEA.

這給了你一些 -- 一些想法。

WE'VE NOW ACHIEVED TWO HANKS' WORTH OF COVID-19--

我們現在已經實現了兩個漢克的COVID -19 --

>> WELL, MUCH, MUCH LIKE THE VICE-- THE VACCINE REQUIRES TWO,

>> 好了，很多，很多喜歡的藥物 - 疫苗需要兩個。

TWO INOCULATIONS.

兩次接種：

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen:這是正確的。

>> SO I'M-- I'M-- THIS IS THE FOLLOW-UP.

>> 所以我... 我... 我... 這就是後續。

THIS IS THE FOLLOW-UP.

這是後續的。

>> Stephen: AND I KNOW YOU HAVE TO BE REFRIGERATED BETWEEN

>> 我知道你必須在這段時間內冷藏。

APPEARANCES.

出庭：

JUST TO KEEP YOU FRESH.

只是為了讓你保持新鮮感。

>> NOW -- >> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

>> 現在 -- >> Stephen:你是怎麼了？

SINCE JULY?

自7月以來？

>> I WAS DOWN-- I WAS ON HOLIDAY FOR A WHILE, AND THEN I RETURNED

>> "我當時心情不好... ...我放了一段時間的假，然後就回來了

TO WORK, YOU KNOW.

工作，你知道的。

WHEN I GOT COVID THE FIRST TIME BACK IN MARCH, WE WERE SIX DAYS

當我在3月第一次拿到COVID的時候，我們已經有6天了。

AWAY FROM BEGINNING TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT ELVIS PRESSLEY.

《遠離起點》是一部關於艾維斯・帕斯利的電影。

AUSTIN BUT LEER WAS PLAYING ELVIS PRESSLEY.

AUSTIN BUT LEER在扮演ELVIS PRESSLEY.

AND WE HAD TO FIGURE OUT ARE WE STILL DOING THIS?

而我們不得不找出 我們是否還在做這個？

AND THEY ARE.

而他們是。

SO I WENT BACK DOWN AND DID MY PART, AND THEY'LL STILL BE DOWN

所以我回去了，做了我的工作，他們還是會下來的。

SHOOTING.

射擊：

THAT'S WHY I HAD TO SHAVE MY HEAD FOR A SERIES OF WIGS AND

這就是為什麼我不得不為一系列的假髮和假髮剃光頭的原因。

BALD PATES AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

禿帕斯和類似的東西。

>> Stephen: IS ELVIS BIG IN AUSTRALIA?

>> Stephen:艾爾維斯在澳洲很重要嗎？

>> ELVIS PRESSLEY IS BIG AROUND THE WORLD, MY FRIEND.

>> 埃爾維斯-帕斯利是世界上最偉大的人，我的朋友。

>> Stephen: I AM FAMILIAR.

>> Stephen:我很熟悉。

I AM FAMILIAR WITH HIS WORK, OKAY.

我熟悉他的工作，好嗎。

I DO SHOOT IN THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.

我是在ED SULLIVAN劇院裡拍的。

SO DON'T LECTURE ME ON ELVIS PRESSLEY, BUDDY!

所以別跟我講艾維斯-普萊斯利，哥們！

>> YOU CAN ACTUALLY TAKE PEOPLE THAT HAVE NEVER SPOKEN THE

>> 你可以真正地把那些從未說過話的人帶去。

ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND NEVER SEEN MODERN TECHNOLOGY, AND YOU JUST

英語語言和從未見過的現代技術，而你只是。

SHOW A GUY WITH SIDEBURNS AND THOSE HIGH COLLARS FROM THE

給大家看一個帶著鬢角和高領的傢伙，他是誰？

VEGAS ERA, AND THEY SAY, "LOVE ME TENDER."

維加斯時代，和他們說， "愛我溫柔。"

>> Stephen: "ALL SHOOK UP."

>> 史蒂芬："所有的震動了。"

EXACTLY.

正是如此。

YOU GO TO THE ISLANDS IN THE INDIAN OCEAN--

你去印度洋上的島嶼 --

>> "HOUND DOG.

>> "獵狗。

HOUND DOG."

獵狗。"

"SUSPICIOUS MINDS."

"可疑的頭腦。"

>> Stephen: I WAS CURIOUS IF EVEN TO THIS DAY ELVIS IS STILL

>> Stephen:我很好奇，直到今天艾爾維斯還在嗎？

A PHENOM DOWN IN AUSTRALIA.

澳洲的一個幽靈。

>> ELVIS IS BIGGER THAN-- LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY-- ELVIS IS AS

>> 埃爾維斯比... 讓我這麼說吧... 埃爾維斯比... ...

BUG AS HE EVER HAS BEEN, AND MUCH OF THAT CREDIT GOES TO THE

蟲子，因為他曾經是，而大部分的功勞歸於。

GUY I PLAYED IN THIS MOVIE, WHICH IS COLONEL TOM PARKER.

我在這部電影中扮演的傢伙，是湯姆-帕克上校。

>> Stephen: PEOPLE DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE COLONEL.

>> 人們不知道上校的事。

GIVE US A LITTLE C.V. HERE.

給我們一點C. V. 這裡。

>> COLONEL PARKER WAS A CARNIVAL OPERATOR GUY WHO WAS IN THE

>> 帕克上校是一個嘉年華會的運營者，他是一個在

BUSINESS OF PROMOTING THE LIKES OF EDWARD ARNOLD, HANK SNOW,

業務推廣愛德華-阿諾德，漢克-斯諾的喜愛，

JIMMY ROGERS SNOW.

JIMMY ROGERS SNOW.

AND HE TOOK ONE LOOK AT THIS YOUNG KID FROM MEMPHIS, TIP LOW,

他看了一眼這個來自孟菲斯的年輕人，小費低。

BY WAY OF MEMPHIS, SAW HIS EFFECT AS HE WAS SINGING ON THE

路過孟菲斯，看到了他的影響，因為他在唱的。

AUDIENCE-- MOSTLY OF WOMEN, GIRLS AND WOMEN-- AND REALIZED

聽眾 -- -- 大部分是婦女、女孩和婦女 -- -- 和現實的。

HE HAD PERHAPS-- THIS WAS PERHAPS THE GREATEST CARNIVAL

他可能... 這可能是最棒的狂歡節。

ATTRACTION ON THE PLANET EARTH.

地球上的吸引力：

AND HE HAD NO OTHER CLIENTS.

他沒有其他的客戶。

AND ELVIS NEVER HAD ANY OTHER PROMOTER OR MANAGER.

埃爾維斯也沒有找過其他的經紀人或促銷員。

I WILL SAY "PROMOTER" MORE THAN MANAGER.

我會說 "促銷員 "多於經理。

AND HE-- HE WAS BOTH A GENIUS AND A SCOUNDREL.

而他... 他既是個天才又是個神棍。

HE WAS BOTH A VERY DISCIPLINED MAN AND ALSO A GUY THAT YOU

他既是一個非常有教養的人，也是一個人，你可以

MIGHT WANT TO CHECK YOUR WALLET TO SEE IF YOU STILL HAVE ALL

你可能需要檢查一下你的錢包，看看你是否還有所有的東西。

THOSE 5s AND 10s.

這些5和10。

"SON OF A GUN, I'VE ONLY GOT SINGLES LEFT IN HERE."

"槍的兒子，我只剩下單曲在這裡。"

YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO THAT.

你可能會想這樣做。

BUT I HAD A-- I HAD A DINNER-- AND GOD BLESS HER-- RITA-- MY

但我有一個... ... 我有一個晚餐... ... 上帝保佑她...

WIFE-- RAN INTO PRESILLA PRESSLEY THAT WE KNOW FROM A

妻子... ... 撞上了我們從一個人那裡知道的PRESILLA PRESSLEY。

FUNCTION IN LOS ANGELES.

在洛杉磯的功能。

AND SHE CAME TAKEOVER DINNER.

她來接管晚餐。

AND I WAS EXPECTING TO HEAR STORIES ABOUT THE DISTRUST SHE

我還以為會聽到關於她的不信任的故事。

HAD FOR COLONEL TOM PARKER OVER THESE MANY YEARS.

這些年來，我對湯姆-帕克上校的態度是：

AND SHE SAID, NO, HE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN.

她說，不，他是個好人。

AND I WISH HE WAS ALIVE TODAY.

我希望他今天還活著。

HE TOOK REALLY GREAT CARE OF US.

他真的很照顧我們。

HE WAS A SCOUNDREL IN HIS WAY.

他用他的方式是個神棍。

SO NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT COLONEL TOM PARKER.

所以沒人知道湯姆-帕克上校的事。

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT NOW.

我現在要告訴你一些別的事情。

HE DOESN'T LOOK A THING LIKE ME.

他看起來一點也不像我。

I WAS-- I AM-- I AM BURIED UNDER-- LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE

我是... 我是... 我是被埋在... 讓我們說...

PEOPLE THAT PLAYED GORILLAS IN "PLANET OF THE APES" SPENT LESS

在 "人猿星球 "裡玩大猩猩的人花的時間更少。

TIME IN THE MAKEUP CHAIR THAN I DID ON THIS MOVIE.

在化妝椅上的時間比我在這部電影上做的。

>> Stephen: YOU AND RODDY McDOWELL.

>> 你和羅迪-麥克道爾。

>> IT WAS-- YOU KNOW, WITH THE COCONUTS, YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF

>> 它是 -- 你知道，與椰子，你知道，那種

COCONUT MOUTH THING.

椰子口的事情。

IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THAT.

它幾乎是這樣的。

IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THAT.

它幾乎是這樣的。

>> Stephen: HOW LONG WERE YOU DOWN IN AUSTRALIA?

>> Stephen:你在澳洲待了多久？

>> I WAS THERE FOR THE BETTER PART OF 14 WEEKS.

>> 我在那裡呆了14個星期。

>> Stephen: AND I UNDERSTAND YOU CAME UP WITH A LITTLE

>> 我知道你想出了一個小辦法。

TRICK-- BECAUSE I'VE SPENT SOME TIME-- NOT IN AUSTRALIA, BUT

訣竅 -- 因為我花了一些時間 -- 不是在澳洲，而是 --

I'VE SPENT SOME TIME IN NEW ZEALAND, AND IT'S HARD TO DO THE

我在紐西蘭呆過一段時間，但很難做到這一點。

MATH IN YOUR HEAD WHAT TIME IS IT HERE AND WHEN SHOULD YOU

數學在你的腦海裡什麼時候是這裡，什麼時候你應該

CALL, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE STILL DOING A JOB IN THE STATES AND

打電話給我，特別是如果你還在美國工作的話，並且

HAVE TO DO MEETINGS.

必須做會議。

I UNDERSTAND YOU CAME UP WITH A LITTLE TRICK TO KEEP IT

我明白你想出了一個小把戲來保持它。

STRAIGHT.

直線。

>> TRYING TO KNOW WHEN TO CALL THE WIFE AND KID WAS VERY TOUGH

>> 試圖知道什麼時候給妻子和孩子打電話是非常困難的。

SO YOU HAD TO SING A SONG.

所以你不得不唱一首歌。

AND IT ALTERED WHEN DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME KICKED IN.

當夏令時開始時，它就改變了。

BEFORE DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME IT WAS

在夏令時之前，它是

♪ TAKE AWAY 5 AND FLIP TAKE AWAY 5 AND FLIP ♪

奪走5和翻轉 奪走5和翻轉

BUT ANYWAY, WHEN DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME CAME IT GOT A LITTLE

但不管怎麼說，當夏令時到來的時候，它變得有點... ...

EASIER.

更容易。

IT WAS ♪ TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS

它是採取了6的踢球

AND FLIP IT ♪ TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS.

並翻轉它採取了6的踢。

AND FLIP IT ♪ THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHAT TIME

並翻轉它，這是你如何知道什麼時候。

IT IS IN L.A ♪ YOU TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS AND

它是在洛杉磯 你帶走6為踢和

FLIP IT ♪ IF YOU WERE CALLING AT 10 A.M.

翻轉它如果你在上午10點打電話。

-- >> Stephen: 4.

-->> Stephen: 4.

>> YOU TAKE AWAY SIX, WHICH WAS 4, BUT P.M. OF THE DAY BEFORE.

>> 你拿走了6個，本來是4個，但前一天的下午。

SEE HOW SIMPLE IT WAS?

看到它有多簡單了嗎？

I WAS CALLING FROM THE FUTURE.

我是來自未來的電話。

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> AND TELLING THEM WHAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE.

>> 並告訴他們這將是什麼樣子。

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> 10 A.M. WAS 4:00 P.M. THE DAY BEFORE.

>> 上午10點是前一天下午4點。

>> Stephen: YOU HAD THIS-- YOU COPYWROTE ALL OF THIS, I ASSUME.

>> 你有這個--你抄襲了所有這些，我猜想。

>> ACTUALLY, I HAVE AUSTRALIAIAN KIDS THAT ARE SINGING IT IN

>> 事實上，我有一個澳洲的孩子，他們在唱它。

SCHOOL RIGHT NOW, RIGHT AFTER THEIR PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO

現在，就在他們向學校宣誓後，就在他們向學校宣誓後，就在他們向學校宣誓後，就在他們向學校宣誓後，就在他們向學校宣誓後，就在他們向學校宣誓後。

THE LAND OF THE SOUTHERN CROSS.

南方十字路口的土地。

>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, TOM.

>> Stephen:我們得趕緊休息一下，TOM。

STICK AROUND.

堅持下去。

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUCH MORE TOM HANKS.

我們馬上回來，會有更多的湯姆-漢克斯。

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪