(ringing) Hold on just a second.

(鈴聲)稍等一下。

I am told I'm getting a Zoom call from, really?

我被告知我接到了一個Zoom電話，真的嗎？

One of my writers, yes.

我的一個作家，是的。

Oh, it's Laurie Kilmartin. Hey Laurie.

哦，這是勞裡-基爾馬丁。嘿，勞裡。

Hi Conan, how's it going?

嗨，柯南，你好嗎？

It's going great.

一切都很順利

Is it okay if I call you back?

我再給你打電話可以嗎？

'Cause I'm taping a show right now.

因為我現在正在錄製一個節目。

Oh, I won't keep you.

哦，我不會留你的。

I just wondered when you have a minute,

我只是想知道你什麼時候有時間。

could you write me a letter of recommendation?

你能給我寫一封推薦信嗎？

Letter of recommendation, like a job recommendation?

推薦信，像求職推薦嗎？

Yeah, I'm trying to apply for this job.

是的，我想申請這份工作。

Here, let me show you.

來，讓我給你看看。

Prince William and Kate Middleton

威廉王子和凱特-米德爾頓

are on the hunt for a housekeeper with discretion.

正在尋找一個有主見的管家。

Wait, you want to be a housekeeper for the royal family?

等等，你想當皇室的管家？

Oh, very much.

哦，非常感謝。

Okay, I get that you're a big fan of the royals.

好吧，我知道你是皇室的忠實粉絲。

I've always known that, but Laurie,

我一直都知道，但是勞瑞。

you're an incredible standup comic with a great career.

你是一個令人難以置信的站立漫畫 與一個偉大的職業生涯。

And you're a writer for me.

而你是我的作家。

I mean, that's like the Holy Grail.

我的意思是，這就像聖盃。

Why would you want to be a housekeeper?

你為什麼要做管家？

Well, I don't know,

好吧，我不知道。

I guess because Kensington Palace would be my house.

我猜是因為肯辛頓宮會是我的家。

I see.

我明白了

Do you see?

你看到了嗎？

Look, this is my current house.

你看，這是我現在的房子。

[Conan] Okay. It's nice enough, yeah.

好吧，很好，是的，很好。

[Laurie] And this would be my future house.

[勞裡]這將是我未來的房子。

[Conan] Okay, I get it, I get it, yeah.

好吧，我明白了，我明白了，是的。

So let's just shuttle back and forth

那我們就來回穿梭吧。

between the two, shall we?

兩者之間，我們可以嗎？

Tell me if you could spot any differences.

告訴我，如果你能發現任何差異。

Okay. No, no, no, no. My house, their house.

好吧，不，不，不，不。不，不，不，不。我的房子，他們的房子。

[Conan] You don't have to do that, I get it.

你不必這樣做，我明白了。

My house, their house. I get it, I get it.

我的房子，他們的房子。我明白了，我明白了。

My house, their house. I get it, stop.

我的房子，他們的房子。我明白了，停止。

My house, their house. Stop, that's fine.

我的房子，他們的房子。停止，這很好。

But Laurie, the job post says

但是Laurie，工作崗位上說

they're looking for a housekeeper with discretion.

他們要找的是一個謹慎的管家。

That means whatever you saw,

這意味著無論你看到什麼。

you'd have to keep it to yourself.

你得把它留給自己。

Do you think you can do that?

你覺得你能做到嗎？

Conan, I worked for you for 10 years

柯南，我為你工作了10年

and I've never told anyone

我從來沒有告訴任何人

that you have a panic attack before every show.

每次演出前你都會有恐慌症。

Well, I don't think it's every show.

我不認為這是每個節目。

Every single night, full-blown panic.

每一個夜晚，全面的恐慌。

You grab your producer Jeff, and you start crying

你抓著你的製片人傑夫，然後開始哭泣

and you say, "they're gonna eat me alive, mommy."

你說，"他們會把我生吞活剝，媽媽"

And then he has to slap you

然後他要打你一巴掌

and you start crying harder, "hold me, mommy."

你開始哭得更厲害， "抱我，媽媽。"

All right, all right, all right.

好吧，好吧，好吧。

You know what? I'll write you a recommendation, all right?

我給你寫推薦信，好嗎？我會給你寫推薦信，好嗎？

And what about that time you tried to start

那次你想開始

hoop skirt Mondays at the office.

箍裙週一在辦公室。

Only you showed up in a giant blue hoop skirt,

只有你穿著巨大的藍色環形裙出現了。

no one else did.

沒有人做。

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

等一下，等一下。

I said I'd write your recommendation,

我說過我會給你寫推薦信的

and it wasn't a bad idea.

這不是一個壞主意。

I could have, but I never mentioned

我可以，但我從來沒有提到

your Anthony Michael Hall back tattoo.

你的安東尼・邁克爾・霍爾背部紋身。

I could have.

我可以的

He was great in "Johnny Be Good."

他在 "Johnny Be Good "中表現得很好。

You paid someone to chew your food for you

你花錢請人幫你咀嚼你的食物。

and you say "baby bird want his lunchie."

你說 "小鳥想要他的便當"

All right, all right, we're good, we're good.

好吧，好吧，我們很好，我們很好。

I'll write you the recommendation, okay?

我給你寫推薦信，好嗎？

Thank you. Thanks. (disconnection ding)

謝謝你 謝謝你 Thank you.謝謝你。(斷線叮)

Got a terrific show.

有一個了不起的節目。

Ricky Gervais gonna be joining us.

瑞奇-傑維斯會加入我們的行列。

We'll take a break, we'll be right back.

我們休息一下，馬上回來。

I'm getting hungry. (relaxed music)

我越來越餓了。（輕鬆的音樂）

Andy, can you chew my food?

安迪，你能嚼我的食物嗎？

Baby bird wants his lunchie!

小鳥想要他的便當!

All right, I'll be right there.

好吧，我馬上就來。