of happiness in our lives would be an uncomplicated, serene and automatic process. But for many

幸福在我們的生活中會是一個簡單、寧靜和自動的過程。但對許多人來說

of us, however theoretically attached we might be to the notion of being happy, the possibility

無論我們在理論上多麼重視幸福的概念，我們都會有這樣的可能性

of actually being so is liable to trigger deep ambivalence and fear. We would – it

實際上是這樣的，容易引發深深的矛盾和恐懼。我們會--它

appears – often prefer to be worried and sad rather than attempt take on the risks

surreptitiously connected in our minds with positive moods. We may – however paradoxical

在我們的腦海中偷偷地與積極的情緒聯繫在一起。我們可以--無論多麼矛盾

it sounds – be nothing less than afraid to be happy. As ever, our fear has a history

聽起來--不克不及怕幸福。我們的恐懼是有歷史的

that begins in childhood, where one of the following is likely to have occurred. Someone

從童年開始的，可能發生下列情況之一。某個人

we deeply loved, and perhaps admired too, was unhappy. Their sorrow moved us profoundly

我們深愛的，或許也很敬佩的人，是不幸福的。他們的悲哀深深地打動了我們

and led us to identify with them so that our caution around contentment continues to function

並使我們對他們產生認同感，從而使我們圍繞著安逸的謹慎繼續發揮作用。

as a secret tribute to them. To be happy would, in a way that would pain us profoundly, mean

作為對他們的一種祕密的敬意。幸福將以一種讓我們深感痛苦的方式，意味著。

being disloyal. However much they might on the surface have encouraged us to venture

不忠。不管他們在表面上如何鼓勵我們去冒險

out and seize opportunities for joy, an important part of us wishes to stay with them under

出，抓住機會獲得快樂，我們中的一個重要部分希望與他們一起下。

the canopy of grief. So without knowing we're doing this, we ensure that we will always

悲傷的天幕。所以在不知不覺中，我們確保了我們將始終

have a modest career because they never had educational possibilities or we turn down

有一個小的職業，因為他們從來沒有教育的可能性，或者我們拒絕了

sexual opportunities because they were sexually neglected. Alternatively, someone we were

性機會，因為他們在性方面被忽視了。或者，我們曾經的某個人

close to might have been jealous of us and led us to want to downplay our achievements

親近的人可能會嫉妒我們，導致我們想淡化我們的成就。

and hide our contentment – in order to feel safe from their envy and rage. We learnt to

並隱藏我們的滿足感--為了讓我們免受他們的嫉妒和憤怒。我們學會了

associate gloom with safety and joy with risk. More generally, we may have lacked any plausible

將陰暗與安全聯繫起來，將快樂與風險聯繫起來。更普遍的是，我們可能缺乏任何合理的。

role models for happiness. We may have grown up in an environment where being anxious and

幸福的榜樣。我們可能是在這樣的環境中長大的，在這樣的環境中，焦慮和

panicky was the default state, where it seemed natural to picture the plane crashing, the

驚慌失措是默認的狀態，在那裡似乎很自然地想象著飛機墜毀的情景。

police showing up, the business collapsing and the mole morphing into cancer. We may

警察出現了，生意倒閉了，痣變成了癌症。我們可能

be intellectually aware that there could be other ways to interpret the future, but equanimity

明知未來可以有其他的解釋，但冷靜下來

doesn't feel like what our tribe does. To this resistance, we might have added a layer

感覺不像是我們部落的做法。在這個阻力上，我們可能已經添加了一層。

of intellectual superiority: happiness seems for the little people, the leading symptom

幸福似乎是小人物的主要症狀。

of understanding the world intelligently must be sadness. All such positions contribute

聰明地理解世界的一定是悲哀。所有這些立場都有助於

to a psyche where the onset of happiness is a cause for grave and glaring alarm. When

到一個心理，幸福的到來是一個嚴重的和明顯的警報的原因。當

we are finally on holiday, or in love or surrounded by friends or free of financial pressure,

我們終於放假了，或戀愛或被朋友包圍或沒有經濟壓力。

we panic. Our senses have been jammed for so long in fear mode, they are filled with

我們驚慌失措。我們的感官在恐懼模式下被卡住了太久，它們充滿了。

dread when the alarm stops wailing. To return to a more balanced state, we're liable systematically

當警報停止鳴叫時，我們就會感到恐懼。為了回到一個更平衡的狀態，我們要系統地承擔責任

to sabotage the conditions of contentment. We start working on holiday and soon uncover

以破壞安逸的條件。我們在假期開始工作，很快就發現

a cause for concern at the office; within hours, we may be protesting that we need to

引起辦公室的關注；在幾個小時內，我們可能會抗議說我們需要

return home. Or else we do our utmost to convince a new lover that we're not worth it, by

回家。否則，我們會竭力說服新的戀人，我們不值得，通過。

seldom calling them or (if they really don't get the message) having an affair. It feels

很少給他們打電話，或者（如果他們真的沒有得到消息）有外遇。這感覺

so much more normal to be abandoned. In order to acclimatise ourselves to joy, we need to

被遺棄就正常多了。為了讓自己適應快樂，我們需要。

return to the past and unpick how we learnt to use anxiety as a defensive strategy to

回到過去，揭開我們是如何學會利用焦慮作為防禦策略的。

protect us against other threats we were too young and too easily overwhelmed to answer.

保護我們免受其他威脅，我們太年輕，太容易被淹沒，無法應對。

The manic worrier worries, as it were, about 'everything' because they are unable to

躁狂症患者對 "一切 "都感到擔憂，因為他們無法做到。

be appropriately concerned with, and in mourning for, one or two big things from long ago.

對一兩件久遠的大事，適當地關心、悼念。

The anxiety that belonged to one particular distant time and place has been redistributed

屬於某一個遙遠時空的焦慮，已經被重新分配了。

and subdivided across hundreds of ever shifting topics in the present (from workplace to reputation,

並細分為當下數百個不斷變化的話題（從職場到名譽。

money to household tasks), because its true source and origins remain unknown to the sufferer.

錢來做家務），因為患者仍然不知道其真正的來源和起源。

We are using the flotsam and jetsam of everyday worries as a proxy for an unmasterable trauma:

我們正在用日常煩惱的絮狀物和噴射物作為一種無法掌控的創傷的代名詞。

shame; humiliation; a sense we don't matter to our caregivers; neglect or abuse. We should

羞恥；羞辱；感覺我們對我們的照顧者不重要；忽視或虐待。我們應該

not sarcastically point out to worriers that they need 'something else to worry about',

而不是諷刺性地指出憂慮者需要 "別的東西來擔心"。

we should realise that something terrifying that they have buried deep in their unconscious

我們應該意識到，在他們的潛意識裡，埋藏著一些可怕的東西。

is lending a continuous sense of dread to their fragile present. We manic worriers need

是給他們脆弱的現在持續的恐懼感。我們狂躁不安的人需要

not sarcasm but supportive and intelligent company to give us the love we need to dare

不是諷刺，而是支持和智慧的陪伴，給我們需要的愛，讓我們敢於嘗試

to look back at the past – and the insight with which to try to do so. Our dread is a

回顧過去--以及試圖這樣做的洞察力。我們的恐懼是一種

symptom of an ancient sorrow, a sign that we keep not finding anything in the outer

千古悲哀的症狀，預示著我們一直沒有發現外在的東西。

world that answers to the horror of the inner one. Needless to say, it isn't the case

的世界，回答了內心的恐怖。不用說，它不是這樣的。

that there is never anything to worry about in the present, just that there is a lot less

當下從來沒有什麼可擔心的，只是少了很多東西

than the manic worrier tends to believe. Furthermore, what there is to worry about can be coped

比狂躁不安的人更容易相信。此外，有什麼需要擔心的，都可以應付。

with with far more resilience than the manic worrier can imagine, for they are operating

比狂躁不安的人所能想象的更有彈性，因為他們在操作的是

with what is essentially a child's sense of their own powers and capacity for survival.

與本質上是孩子對自己的力量和生存能力的認識。

Manic worriers should gradually come to exchange their feelings of dread for the future for

躁狂症患者應該逐漸來換取對未來的恐懼感，以

a patient understanding and mourning for an unfairly traumatic and as yet insufficiently

耐心理解和哀悼不公平的創傷和尚未充分的

explored past. There is nothing greedy or stupid about happiness. The ability to take

探討過去。幸福並不貪婪，也不愚蠢。能夠採取

appropriate satisfaction from the good times is a profound psychological achievement: it

從美好的時光中得到適當的滿足是一種深刻的心理成就：它

is a mark of deep seriousness to be able to giggle, have a pillow fight with a child,

能和孩子一起傻笑、打枕頭戰，是深沉嚴肅的標誌。

delight in a fig, sunbathe, sometimes knock off work early to have an ice cream and appreciate

樂此不疲，晒太陽，有時還提前下班吃個冰激凌欣賞一番

a daffodil. Sorrow is obvious; there is always a richness of reasons to despair. Fear is

一朵水仙花。悲傷是顯而易見的，絕望的理由總是很豐富。恐懼是

safe as well; if we are waiting for the enemy with sword in hand, we may gain a vital few

安全也；如果我們持劍待敵，可能會獲得至關重要的幾項。

seconds were the blow to come. But the trulycourageous and heroically defiant move

秒是打擊來了。但是，這個勇敢而又英勇的反抗行動

would be to dare to put down our weapon, lessen our preparations for catastrophe,

就是要敢於放下武器，減少我們對災難的準備。

resist the terrors ingrained in us over decades and once in a while believe that, astonishingly,

抵禦幾十年來根深蒂固的恐怖，偶爾相信一下，令人驚訝。

for a time, there might truly be nothing to worry about.

一時間，可能真的沒什麼可擔心的。

Our Emotional Barometer is a tool that can help us to more clearly explain our moods. Click the link on screen now to find out more.

我們的情緒晴雨表是一個工具，可以幫助我們更清楚地解釋我們的情緒。 現在點擊螢幕上的鏈接，瞭解更多。