THERE YOU GO!

你來了！

WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主持人STEPHEN COLBERT。

I WANT TO GIVE MY WIFE A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE.

我想給我的妻子一杯香檳酒。

YOU HAVE BEEN A ROCK THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.

你過去幾週一直都是個搖滾樂。

THANKS SO MUCH.

非常感謝。

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JOE BIDEN DID IT!

女士們，先生們，喬-比登做到了！

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

HE'S OUR NEXT PRESIDENT!

他是我們的下一任總統！

I'M SO HAPPY!

我太高興了！

I WANT TO SHARE THIS MOMENT WITH YOU, MY AUDIENCE, I WISH WE

我想和你分享這個時刻，我的聽眾，我希望我們。

COULD ALL BE TOGETHER IN THE THEATER, INSTEAD OF BEING STUCK

能否都在劇院裡相聚，而不是被困在這裡。

IN THIS CONVERTED STORAGE ROOM!

在這個轉換的儲藏室裡!

BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO STOP ME FROM FIRING THE T-SHIRT CANNON!

但這並不能阻止我發射T-SHIRT炮！

COME ON!

來吧！

CHRIS, CATCH THIS.

克里斯，抓住這個。

COME ON, CATCH IT!

來吧，抓住它！

OKAY, JIMMY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

好吧，吉米，這就夠了。

I'LL FIRE THAT THING BACK UP.

我會把那東西燒掉的。

READY AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE.

隨時準備好。

EVERY TIME SOMEONE GROWNS AT ONE OF MY JOKES, IT IS GO TIME

每次有人聽了我的玩笑話，就會覺得時間到了。

( BLEEP ).

( BLEEP ).

HEAR THAT?

聽到了嗎？

THAT MEANS IT'S WORKING.

這意味著它的工作。

THERE YOU GO.

你去那裡。

FINALLY, AFTER FOUR YEARS, AMERICANS CAN EXHALE.

四年後，美國人終於可以呼氣了。

UNLESS YOU'RE NEAR OTHER PEOPLE.

除非你在別人身邊。

THEN PLEASE DON'T.

那就請不要。

PANDEMIC.

PANDEMIC：

AFTER BIDEN'S VICTORY WAS ANNOUNCED, PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

在比登的勝利宣佈後，人們到處都是。

FLOODED THE STREETS, FROM TIMES SQUARE TO DENVER TO SAN

從時代廣場到丹佛再到舊金山的街道都被淹沒了

DIEGO TO MIAMI TO ATLANTA.

迪哥到邁阿密到亞特蘭大。

THAT IS THE BIGGEST PRESIDENTIAL RALLY OF ALL TIME.

這是有史以來最大的總統集會。

NOT A GOOD SIGN WHEN THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS REACT TO

當大多數美國人都反應過來時，這不是一個好的跡象。

YOU LOSING YOUR JOB THE WAY THEY DID TO US GETTING BIN LADEN.

你失去了你的工作，就像他們對我們得到賓拉登的方式一樣。

IT FEELS LIKE AMERICA IS...

感覺美國是... ...

WHAT'S THE WORD... GREAT AGAIN?

什麼是單詞...又好了？

AND THE CHANTING, OH, THE CHANTING.

和誦經，哦，誦經。

HERE'S A GROUP IN D.C.: Y-M-C-A

這裡有一個在華盛頓的團體：Y-M-C-A。

Y-M-C-A >> STEPHEN: PERFECT TROLL, BOTH

Y-M-C-A >> 史蒂芬：完美的人偶，兩個都是。

BECAUSE THE "YMCA" WAS TRUMP'S BIG RALLY SONG, AND BECAUSE,

因為 "YMCA "是特朗普的大號召力歌曲，而且因為：

AFTER WORKING FOR TRUMP, I THINK IT'S WHERE STEVE BANNON IS

在為特朗普工作後，我想這是史蒂夫-班農在哪裡。

LIVING.

生活。

NOT TO BE OUTDONE, THIS IS WHAT THE CELEBRATIONS LOOKED LIKE IN

不容錯過，這就是中國的慶祝活動的模樣。

L.A.: ♪ ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS

洛杉磯..:我想要的聖誕禮物是：

YOU ♪ ♪ OOOH BABY ♪

你 OOOH BABY

>> STEPHEN: WOW, TRUMP WAS RIGHT.

>> 哇，川普是對的。

WE'RE FINALLY SAYING "MERRY CHRISTMAS" AGAIN!

我們終於又說 "聖誕快樂 "了！

FUN FACT, THIS WEEKEND A SONG CALLED "(BLEEP) DONALD TRUMP"

有趣的是，這個週末，一首名為"(BLEEP)唐納德-特朗普 "的歌曲。

HIT NUMBER ONE ON ITUNES.

在ITUNES上排名第一。

ALTHOUGH "PARTY IN THE U.S.A."

雖然 "黨在美國"

IS REFUSING TO CONCEDE.

拒絕讓步；

AND IT WASN'T JUST AMERICA, PEOPLE O TOOK THE STREETS TO

不僅僅是美國，人們還走上了街頭。

CELEBRATE IN CANADA, IRELAND, INDIA, THE FOREST MOON OF ENDOR,

在加拿大、愛爾蘭、印度慶祝ENDOR森林之月。

ZION, PEOPLE WERE SINGING IN THE RAIN, AND ULTIMATELY, TRUMP

錫安，人們在雨中歌唱，而特朗普也在雨中歌唱。

TOWER COLLAPSED.

大廈坍塌。

GO BACK TO THE SHADOW, DONNY!

回到陰影中去，唐尼！

NOW, WHILE I'M HAPPY, I'M ALSO ECSTATIC.

現在，雖然我很高興，我也很緊張。

I'M ALSO A LITTLE TIRED.

我也有點累了。

AND I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED.

我有點擔心。

WE'VE GOT A RAGING PANDEMIC, THE BIGGEST BUDGET DEFICIT IN

我們已經得到了一個咆哮的PANDEMIC，最大的預算赤字在。

HISTORY, WE PISSED OFF EVERY COUNTRY EXCEPT THOSE RULED BY

歷史上，我們惹惱了所有的國家，除了那些被統治的國家。

DICTATORS.

口述者：

IN SHORT, OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS DIFFERENT.

簡而言之，我們的長國夜叉是不同的。

SO WE CAN'T BE COMPLACENT.

是以，我們不能是複雜的。

WE HAVE TO PUT OUR HEADS DOWN AND KEEP DOING THE WORK...

我們必須放下心來繼續工作... ...

STARTING TOMORROW.

明天就開始了。

FOR NOW: ♪

現在：

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

COME ON, CHRIS, DO THE WAVE!

來吧，克里斯，做波！

THAT'S GOOD.

這是很好的。

THAT'S GOOD.

這是很好的。

YOU KNOW THAT SECOND ONE WAS COMING.

你知道第二場要來了。

WASN'T SCRIPTED.

沒寫過劇本。

JUST SAID STEPHEN DANCES.

剛剛說的斯蒂芬舞蹈。

DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT TAKING YOUR HEAD OFF WITH TWO

沒說過要用兩隻手把你的頭打掉。

POUNDS OF COTTON.

棉花的磅數：

( LAUGHTER ) IT'S ALL LOVE, BABY.

（笑）這是所有的愛，寶貝。

IT'S ALL LOVE.

這是所有的愛。

AFTER THE GOOD NEWS WAS ANNOUNCED, PRESIDENT-ELECT BIDEN

在好消息宣佈後，當選主席比登

AND VICE PRESIDENT ELECT HARRIS TOOK TO THE STAGE IN DELAWARE.

和當選副主席哈里斯在特拉華州的舞臺上。

FIRST UP WAS KAMALA HARRIS.

第一個上場的是卡馬拉-哈里斯。

THIS IS A BIG DEAL.

這是一個很大的交易。

HARRIS IS THE FIRST FEMALE VICE PRESIDENT, FIRST BLACK VICE

哈里斯是第一位女性副主席，第一位黑人副主席。

PRESIDENT, FIRST SOUTH ASIAN VICE PRESIDENT!

主席，第一任南亞副主席！

THE FIRST VICE PRESIDENT TO PULL A KICK-ASS ALL-WHITE POWER SUIT!

第一個穿上全白勁裝的副總統!

THOUGH, TO BE FAIR, FOR TRUMP, EVERY SUIT IS A WHITE POWER

雖然，為了公平起見，對特朗普來說，每件衣服都是白人的權力。

SUIT.

西裝：

HARRIS ACKNOWLEDGED HER PLACE IN HISTORY.

哈里斯承認了她在歷史上的地位。

>> THE GENERATIONS OF WOMEN ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> 婦女的世代(歡呼和鼓掌)

BLACK WOMEN, ASIAN, WHITE, LATINA, NATIVE AMERICAN WOMEN,

黑人婦女、亞洲人、白人、拉丁美洲人、美洲土著婦女。

WHO, THROUGHOUT OUR NATION'S HISTORY, HAVE PAVED THE WAY FOR

在我們國家的歷史上，誰為我們鋪平了道路？

THIS MOMENT TONIGHT.

今晚這一刻。

WOMEN WHO FOUGHT AND SACRIFICED SO MUCH FOR EQUALITY AND LIBERTY

為平等和自由而奮鬥和犧牲的婦女；

AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.

和所有人的正義。

INCLUDING THE BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE OFTEN, TOO OFTEN,

包括黑人婦女，她們經常，太經常了，

OVERLOOKED, BUT SO OFTEN PROVE THEY ARE THE BACKBONE OF OUR

被忽視了，但卻常常證明他們是我們的支柱。

DEMOCRACY.

DEMOCRACY。

WHAT A TESTAMENT IT IS TO JOE'S CHARACTER THAT HAD THE AUDACITY

這對喬伊的性格是一個多麼大的考驗，他有聽覺。

TO BREAK ONE OF THE MOST SUBSTANTIAL BARRIERS THAT EXISTS

打破現存最本質的障礙之一。

IN OUR COUNTRY AND SELECT A WOMAN AS HIS VICE PRESIDENT.

在我們的國家，選擇一名婦女作為他的副主席。

(CARS HONKING) >> Stephen: THAT IS THE FIRST

(汽車鳴笛) >> 史蒂芬: 這是第一場。

TIME IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND IT WAS NICE TO SEE A WOMAN GET

在人類歷史上，看到一個女人得到的時間是很好的。

HONKED AT!

鳴笛！

"HEY, BABY.

"嘿，寶貝。

WAY TO SHATTER THAT GLASS CEILING!

破壞玻璃天花板的方式！

YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD IN THAT EXECUTIVE BRANCH!

你穿上那件行政部的衣服看起來真不錯!

OH, YEAH!" THEN, SHE INTRODUCED THE MAN OF

哦，是的！"然後，她介紹了男人的...

THE HOUR, THE VICE SO NICE HE'S GOING TO THE WHITE HOUSE TWICE:

《時間》，《副總統》，他要去白宮兩次。

>> IT IS NOW MY GREAT HONOR TO INTRODUCE THE PRESIDENT-ELECT OF

>> 我現在非常榮幸地介紹美國當選主席。

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, JOE BIDEN!

美利堅合眾國，喬-比登！

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: LOOK AT HIM!

看看他!

RUNNING LAPS AROUND TRUMP BY RUNNING AT ALL.

繞著特朗普跑了一圈，以跑的方式。

BIDEN HAD A MESSAGE OF UNITY: >> I PLEDGE TO BE A PRESIDENT

比登發出了團結的資訊。>> 我發誓要當主席

WHO SEEKS NOT TO DIVIDE, BUT UNIFY, WHO DOESN'T SEE RED

* Who SEEES NOT DIVISING BUT UNIFY,WHO DOESN'T SEE SEE RED

STATES OR BLUE STATES, BUT ONLY SEES THE UNITED STATES.

州或藍州，但只看到美國。

>> STEPHEN: I LOOK FORWARD TO GETTING THERE, TOO, SIR.

>> 我也期待著到那裡去，先生。

AFTER SIX DAYS OF BINGE-WATCHING STEVE KORNACKI, RED STATES AND

經過六天的觀察，Steve KORNACKI、RED STATES和...。

BLUE STATES HAVE BEEN BURNED INTO MY RETINAS.

藍色的國家已經被燒進了我的記憶裡。

WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES, ALL I SEE IS THE MAP OF PENNSYLVANIA.

當我閉上眼睛的時候，我看到的是賓夕法尼亞州的地圖。

AND THEY'VE UPDATED BUCK'S COUNTY!

他們還更新了巴克縣！

ALLEGHENY!

阿勒格尼！

THEN THE PRESIDENT-ELECT ADDRESSED HIS OPPONENT'S

然後，候任主席向其對手發言。

SUPPORTERS DIRECTLY AND COMPASSIONATELY.

直接和熱心的支持者。

>> FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO VOTED FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP, I

>> 對於那些投票給特朗普總統的人，我。

UNDERSTAND THE DISAPPOINTMENT TONIGHT.

理解今晚的失望。

I'VE LOST A COUPLE OF TIMES MYSELF.

我自己也輸過幾次。

>> STEPHEN: WAIT A SECOND, ADMITTING THAT YOU'VE EVER LOST?

>> 等一下，承認你曾經輸過？

WHY ISN'T HE TALKING ABOUT SHOWER PRESSURE AND HOW

為什麼他不談淋浴壓力和如何。

WINDMILLS GIVE YOU CANCER?

風信子會讓你患上癌症？

HE DIDN'T EVEN WISH AN ACCUSED CHILD SEX TRAFFICKER WELL.

他甚至不希望一個被指控的兒童性販子好。

SO UNPRESIDENTIAL!

所以，非總統的！

SO BIDEN HARRIS, THEY'RE NEXT UP.

所以BIDEN HARRIS，他們是下一個。

BUT WITH ALL THIS TALK ABOUT OUR NEW PRESIDENT-ELECT, WE'VE STILL

但是，儘管我們對新任總統候選人談了這麼多，但我們還沒有...

GOT A PRESIDENT-REJECT.

得到了總統的拒絕。

AND I'LL DISCUSS HIS FALL FROM GLORY IN A SEGMENT I'M CALLING:

我將討論他從榮耀中墮落的部分，我稱之為。

>> IT'S RIGGED!

>> IT'S RIGGED!

>> DONALD TRUMP: ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.

>> 唐納德-特朗普：從白宮出發的道路。

>> STEPHEN: IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS SINCE THE ELECTION WAS CALLED

>> 選舉結束已經兩天了。

FOR BIDEN, AND AS OF THIS TAPING, DONALD TRUMP HAS REFUSED

對於比登，並在此錄音，唐納德-特朗普拒絕

TO CONCEDE.

要關注：

THAT'S FINE.

這很好。

UNTIL HE DOES, I REFUSE TO REMEMBER HIS NAME.

在他做之前，我不願意記住他的名字。

WHAT WAS IT?

那是什麼？

UH... RONALD CLUMP?

呃...羅納德-克勞普？

BALDIN' GRUNT?

BALDIN' GRUNT？

IT WILL COME TO ME.

它會來找我。

THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN HOLED UP IN THE WHITE HOUSE TANTRUM

總統在白宮大發雷霆的時候，被關了起來。

PANTRY, WHERE THINGS ARE SO STRESSFUL, "THE DAILY MAIL"

"每日郵報 "的 "壓力山大"

REPORTS HIS STAFF IS LIGHTING ROSE-SCENTED CANDLES IN AN

報道稱，他的工作人員正在點燃玫瑰香味的蠟燭，在一個。

ATTEMPT TO SOFTEN THE ENVIRONMENT, AND TO COMBAT THE

試圖緩和環境，並與之抗衡。

SMELL OF FAST-FOOD DELIVERED TO THE PRESIDENT.

送給總統的快餐的味道。

JUST A PREVIEW OF THE INTENSE DESTANKIFICATION THE

僅僅是對《聯合國海洋法公約》的緊張排雷工作的回顧。

BIDEN-HARRIS TEAM WILL HAVE TO DO.

BIDEN-HARRIS團隊將不得不做。

MIGHT BE BEST TO JUST REPLACE THE RESOLUTE DESK WITH A GIANT

也許最好是用一張巨大的辦公桌來代替RESOLUTE辦公桌。

GLADE PLUG-IN.

GLADE PLUG-IN。

THE LAME DUCK PRESIDENT HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN THIS PARTICULAR

蹩腳的鴨子主席並不總是這麼特別。

ABOUT THE ELECTORAL COUNT.

關於選票。

IN FACT, AS SHARP-EYED NEWSMAN JOHN DICKERSON POINTED OUT, BACK

事實上，正如敏銳的新聞記者約翰-迪克遜指出的那樣，早在上個世紀90年代末就已經開始了。

IN 2016, WHEN DONALD TRUMP GAVE HIS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH AFTER

2016年，當唐納德-特朗普發表了他的就職演說後。

CLINTON CONCEDED, THE ELECTORAL COUNT HADN'T REACHED 270.

克林頓認輸，選票數沒有達到270。

THANK GOODNESS HE DIDN'T TWEET "STOP THE COUNT!" BACK THEN OR

謝天謝地，他當時沒有發 "停止計數！"的微博，或者

ELSE... NOTHING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

其他...什麼都不會發生。

THEY COUNT ALL THE VOTES, THAT'S HOW DEMOCRACY WORKS, PRESIDENT

他們計算所有的選票，這就是民主的運作方式，主席。

GRUNT!

咕嚕！

HE ALSO HASN'T APPEARED IN PUBLIC SINCE THURSDAY NIGHT,

他也沒有出現在公眾面前 自從週四晚上。

WHEN HE RALLIED THE NATION WITH HIS HOPEFUL MESSAGE, "MY FELLOW

當他用充滿希望的口號 "我的朋友 "號召全國人民時

AMERICANS, STAND BACK: I HAVE A HEAT RAY."

美國人，退後，我有一個熱射線。"

BUT SOME OF HIS LACKEYS HAVE BEEN MORE THAN WILLING TO STEP

但他的一些後備軍都很願意站出來。

UP AND EMBARRASS THEMSELVES.

起來，讓他們自慚形穢。

LIKE TRUMP'S ATTORNEY AND MAN SHOWING WHERE HE'S GONNA GET HIS

就像特朗普的律師和男人展示他將在哪裡得到他的。

PRISON TATTOOS, RUDY GIULIANI.

監獄裡的紋身，魯迪-朱利亞尼。

GIULIANI IS ACCUSING EVERYONE IN AMERICA OF VOTER FRAUD, AND HE

GIULIANI指責全美所有的人都在欺騙選民，而他...

HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE FOR TRUMP ON SATURDAY, WHICH TRUMP

星期六為特朗普舉行新聞發佈會，特朗普在發佈會上

ANNOUNCED ON TWITTER WOULD TAKE PLACE AT THE FOUR SEASONS,

在微博上宣佈將在四時區舉行。

PHILADELPHIA.

PHILADELPHIA.

WHICH IS A LOVELY HOTEL.

這是一個可愛的酒店。

BUT HE QUICKLY CORRECTED THAT TO FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING.

但他很快就糾正了，到四個季節總的土地規劃。

NOW, HOW THIS HAPPENED IS UNCLEAR.

現在，這怎麼發生的是不清楚的。

MY GUESS?

我的猜測？

INCOMPETENCE.

無能。

ONE THEORY IS THAT SOMEONE IN THE CAMPAIGN MISTOOK THE VENUE

有一種說法是，有人在競選中搞錯了地點。

FOR A LUXURY HOTEL.

對於一家豪華酒店。

EMBARRASSING, BUT NOT THE FIRST TIME SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAS

尷尬，但不是第一次發生這樣的事情。

HAPPENED.

發生了。

AFTER ALL, WHO CAN FORGET WHEN F.D.R., STALIN, AND CHURCHILL

畢竟，誰能忘記F.D.R.、STALIN和CHURCHILL的時候呢？

MET AT THE YALTA DISCOUNT TOILET EMPORIUM.

在雅爾塔折扣餐具店見面。

FLUSH DEFUEHRER!

沖洗除霧器！

MISTAKE OR NOT, THEY HELD THE PRESS CONFERENCE AT THE LOADING

無論是否出錯，他們都在裝貨處召開了新聞發佈會。

DOCK OF THE LANDSCAPER.

岸上的風景。

HERE'S WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE: THAT'S QUITE AN IMAGE.

這就是它的樣子：這是一個很好的影像。

PROJECTS POWER.

項目動力：

LOOKS LIKE THE PENGUIN ANNOUNCING LAYOFFS TO HIS

看起來像企鵝宣佈對他的裁員。

HENCHMEN.

HENCHMEN：

LOOKS LIKE A "STORAGE WARS" EPISODE HOSTED BY THE CRYPT

看起來像一個 "存儲戰爭 "EPISODE主持的CRYPT的

KEEPER.

KEEPER.

IT LOOKS LIKE THE DEDICATION OF A NEW PERFORMING ARTS CENTER AT

看起來好像是一個新的表演藝術中心的落成儀式。

CHERNOBYL.

CHERNOBYL：

ALTHOUGH IT'S POSSIBLE GIULIANI GOES THERE ALL THE TIME.

雖然有可能，朱利安尼一直在那裡。

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HIS DENTIST REQUIRES LANDSCAPING

如果他的牙醫要求進行景觀設計，我也不會感到奇怪

TOOLS.

工具：

EVEN WORSE, BUT ALSO SOMEHOW BETTER, FOUR SEASONS TOTAL

甚至更糟糕，但也有一些更好，四個賽季總計

LANDSCAPING IS RIGHT BY A CREMATORIUM AND AN ADULT VIDEO

景觀是由一個墓園和一個成人視頻的權利。

STORE.

STORE.

MAKES SENSE.

有道理。

THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SCREWED AND DEAD.

特朗普的競選活動在某種程度上介於被扭曲和死亡之間。

IN THE PRESSER ITSELF, GIULIANI ANNOUNCED A UNIQUE THEORY AS TO

GIULIANI在壓榨機上宣佈了一個獨特的理論，即

HOW PHILADELPHIA WENT SO STRONGLY FOR BIDEN.

PHILADELPHIA如何如此強烈地支持BIDEN。

>> IN PHILADELPHIA, THEY KEEP THE VOTE OF DEAD PEOPLE SECRET.

>> 在費城，他們對死人的投票保密。

AT LEAST THAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN BE COMMENDED FOR.

至少這也是你能得到表揚的地方。

THERE ARE DEAD PEOPLE VOTING, NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.

有死人在投票，毫無疑問。

>> STEPHEN: FORGET ABOUT DEAD PEOPLE VOTING, THERE'S A DEAD

>> 別再提死人投票了，還有一個死人。

GUY HOLDING A PRESS CONFERENCE RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CREMATORIUM!

這傢伙在墓地外面舉行記者招待會！

SOMEONE CALL THE GHOSTBUSTERS!

誰去叫 "幽靈旅者"！

SO, THE PRESIDENT DOESN'T WANT TO ADMIT THAT IT'S OVER, BUT IT

所以，總統不想承認這一切已經結束了，但它。

IS.

IS.

AND WHEN HE LEAVES, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO?

當他離開時，你知道我在期待什麼嗎？

SLEEP.

睡吧

BUT ALSO, THE POSSIBILITY THAT, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOUR

但是，也有可能，在四個月內第一次

YEARS, WE WILL BE ABLE TO SHIFT OUR COLLECTIVE FOCUS AWAY FROM

幾年後，我們將能夠把我們的收藏重點從以下方面轉移過來

HIM ONTO ANYTHING ELSE.

他對其他任何事情。

MAYBE EACH OTHER.

可能是彼此的。

WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE?

那不是很好嗎？

I GOT UP THIS MORNING, WALKING DOWN THE STEPS, AND I JUST FELT

我今天早上起來，走在臺階上，我就覺得

ALL THIS AVAILABLE BRAIN SPACE.

所有這些可用的大腦空間。

AND THERE ISN'T ANYTHING OCCUPYING IT YET.

而且現在還沒有任何東西佔據它。

IT'S LIKE A CLEAN KITCHEN COUNTER WHERE SOMETHING COULD BE

就像一個乾淨的廚房臺子，可以放些東西。

MADE IF WE'RE JUST NOT CLUTTERING IT UP WITH THAT GUY.

如果我們不把那個傢伙弄得亂七八糟的話。

SATURDAY AFTERNOON RIGHT AFTER WE HEARD JOE HAD CLINCHED THE

星期六後半夜，當我們聽到喬已經鎖定了目標後

ELECTORAL COLLEGE, WE WERE ON THE PORCH, AND I SAT DOWN AND

在選修學院，我們在走廊上，我坐下來，然後。

JUST STARTED CRYING WITH RELIEF, AND EVIE SAID, YOU NEVER HAVE TO

剛開始哭了寬慰， 和EVIE說，你永遠不會有，

TALK ABOUT HIM AGAIN, AND THEN I CRIED WITH JOY.

再一次談到他，然後我高興地哭了起來。

NOW, OBAMA WAS A CHARISMATIC GUY, A LOT OF PEOPLE ACCUSED HIM

現在，奧巴馬是一個慈善的傢伙， 很多人指責他。

OF BEING A CELEBRITY, BUT THERE WERE WHOLE DAYS WHEN YOU DIDN'T

成為名人，但有很多天，你不這樣做

THINK ABOUT HIM.

想想他吧

REMEMBER THAT?

記得嗎？

PROBABLY NOT BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THINKING ABOUT HIM.

可能不是因為你沒有考慮到他。

I THINK IT HELPED US SLEEP THAT WE KNEW THAT OBAMA SLEPT.

我想我們知道奧巴馬溜了，這能幫助我們入睡。

FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS, IF YOU WERE UP LATE DOOM SCROLLING,

在過去的四年裡，如果你還在熬夜看《死亡漩渦》的話。

YOU'D SEE THE PRESIDENT UP DOUCHE TWEETING.

你會看到總統在推特上發的。

I'M ALSO LOOKING FORWARD TO, I DON'T KNOW, PEOPLE BEING NICER.

我也期待著，我不知道， 人們是更NICER。

INCLUDING ME.

包括我在內。

ONE OF THE THINGS ABOUT THIS JOB THAT I HAVE FOUND IS THAT I TEND

我發現這份工作的一個特點就是我傾向於...

TO REFLECT BACK THE NATIONAL TONE.

反映出國家的基調。

AND THAT TONE COMES FROM THE TOP.

而這個音調來自於頂部。