Name: 伯特-克雷舍改變人生的26歲生日 - CONAN on TBS (Bert Kreischer's Life-Changing 26th Birthday - CONAN on TBS)
Uploaded: 2020-10-28T19:10:24.000Z
Duration: 5 min

現在進行式

Now, this year, obviously that this year November 3rd is going to be a fraught day for a lot of people.

現在，今年，很明顯，今年11月3日對很多人來說將是一個充滿挑戰的日子。

Regardless of your political orientation, it's gonna be a tense day filled with maybe anger, anxiety.

不管你的政治取向如何，這將是緊張的一天，也許充滿了憤怒，焦慮。

而且今天是你的生日，你知道嗎？

What do you What are you going to do this November 3rd?

Are you still going to try and have a conventional birthday?

你還打算嘗試過一個傳統的生日嗎？

There's no way anyone is gonna be at my party.

See, this is what's wrong with our country.

看，這就是我們國家的問題所在。

I'm thinking about thinking about getting a cabin in the woods and taking my girls out there so that when l A is done burning, we can come in and claim our e.

我在考慮在樹林裡建個小木屋 然後帶我的女兒們去那裡 這樣當我A燒完後，我們就可以進來領回我們的E了

You know l A can burn, and it doesn't have to be political.

你知道我可以燒，而且不一定是政治性的。

Don't one dropped a cigarette like, 60 miles from here, you know, So yeah, don't worry.

別在離這裡60英里的地方丟了一根菸，你知道的，所以是的，別擔心。

I mean, but I I have sympathy for you that your birthday is on November 3rd.

我的意思是，但我... ...我很同情你，你的生日是在11月3日。

Do you have a memory of a birthday in your life.

在你的生活中，你是否有一個生日的記憶。

就像某一天，對你來說就是與眾不同。

Yeah, Yeah, it's not a good one, but yeah.

是啊，是啊，這不是一個很好的一個，但是是的。

My 26th birthday, I had just moved to New York.

我26歲生日的時候，我剛搬到紐約。

I was saying I was getting into stand up.

And November 2nd, we got really lucky because you party up till midnight on your you know, that's how I used to do it.

11月2日，我們真的很幸運，因為你的派對一直到午夜... ...你知道，我以前就是這麼做的。

And so I woke up, really hung over to my phone ringing, and it was my dad and I was on the couch like I was on.

於是我醒了，真的是被手機鈴聲掛住了，是我爸，我就像在沙發上。

I'd even make it to my loft bed in New York.

我甚至可以到紐約的閣樓床上去。

I'm on the couch and I go, You know what?

我在沙發上，我走了，你知道嗎？

I'm just gonna answer the phone and let him say Happy birthday to me real quick, and then I'm gonna go back to bed.

我只是要去接電話，讓他說 生日快樂給我真正的快， 然後我會回去睡覺。

So I just grabbed the phone like, Hey, what's up?

所以我就拿起電話，像，嘿，怎麼了？

just cause you are a human piece of garbage.

只是因為你是一個人類的垃圾。

What he was like he was like Because I just perjured myself.

他是什麼樣子的，他是什麼樣子的，因為我只是偽證自己。

I was in court and the judge said, Hey, how how's your son doing?

我在法庭上，法官說，嘿，你兒子怎麼樣了？

I lied because I couldn't save your honor.

我撒謊是因為我無法挽救你的榮譽。

He says he's going to do something and he doesn't do it.

Dad, it's my birthday because I know what day it is.

爸爸，今天是我的生日，因為我知道今天是什麼日子。

He called you human garbage on your birthday the first time, and he broke me down so bad.

他第一次在你生日的時候罵你是人肉垃圾，他讓我很崩潰。

Keep party and party, boy, I'll pay for it.

繼續開派對吧，孩子，我會付錢的。

你一輩子都不會有什麼成就的。

You say you wanna be a comic, you won't be a comic.

你說你想成為一個漫畫家，你不會成為一個漫畫家。

And then I was like, Hey, I how do I fix this?

然後我就想，嘿，我怎麼解決這個問題？

I messed you up, so just don't worry about it.

我給你添亂了，你就別擔心了。

And he goes, if you want to fix this, you go to that comedy club.

他說，如果你想解決這個問題，你就去那個喜劇俱樂部。

You've been hanging out at drinking beers and you tell them you'll do anything you mop up.

你一直在喝啤酒，你告訴他們你會做任何事情，你拖。

You'll know that that's not how it works.

You know, that's not how it works for you, because you've been given everything in your life.

你知道，這不是你的工作方式，因為你已經得到了你生命中的一切。

Some young black kid in Harlem is doing that today and he will succeed because he has.

哈林區的一些年輕的黑人孩子今天正在這樣做，他會成功，因為他已經成功了。

He has what it takes to get to the next level.

That night I told my remember telling my dad I can't do tonight.

那天晚上，我告訴我的記得告訴我爸，我今晚不能做。

I have a party and he goes, You don't deserve a party.

我開了個派對，他卻說，你不配參加派對。

我已經和那個人談過了，劉易斯・謝弗。

我說，嘿，我想成為一個漫畫家。

And he told me to move back to Florida and I was like, Okay, option, whatever.

他讓我搬回佛羅里達州，我就想，好吧，不管怎麼樣，選擇。

第二天早上，我給我爸打電話。

字幕列表影片播放

伯特-克雷舍改變人生的26歲生日 - CONAN on TBS (Bert Kreischer's Life-Changing 26th Birthday - CONAN on TBS)

anxiety

approach

pretend

grab