You look great, bud. Thanks so much

你看起來棒極了，夥計。謝謝你了

for coming on the show, and actually I want to thank you

對於來的節目，其實我想感謝你

for coming on the show back when we first started doing

感謝你在我們剛開始做節目的時候就來了

the show from home, from the -- where we started the quarantine,

從家裡的表演，從 - 我們開始檢疫。

early in the quarantine. -Yeah, you weren't in a good way

在隔離初期-是的，你的情況並不樂觀

when the quarantine started. I remember.

當隔離開始時。我記得

You were like -- I was like, "He better get back to work soon."

你就像... 我就像，"他最好儘快回去工作"

You were like, "How long am I going to have to stay home?"

你當時想，"我得在家呆多久？"

-[ Laughs ] -I mean, seriously.

-我的意思是，認真的。

I remember getting off of our Zoom and I was like,

我記得我從我們的Zoom上下來，我當時想，

"Oh, he's not going to like this.

"哦，他不會喜歡這樣的。

He's not liking quarantine at all."

他一點也不喜歡隔離。"

-That was challenging, man. But I did -- now I look back

-那是個挑戰，夥計但我做到了... 現在我回想起來

and I go, "Oh, yeah, I think it was fun, the home shows."

我走了，"哦，是的，我認為這是有趣的， 家庭節目。"

But I don't remember them really.

但我真的不記得他們了。

It just like -- just happened so fast.

它就像... ... 只是發生得太快了。

It was just me -- it was Nancy and I.

只有我... ... 只有我和南希。

There was no one -- could I say me and Nancy?

沒有人 -- 我能說我和南希嗎？

Just me and Nancy.

只有我和南希。

-It's just Nancy and me

-只有我和南希

is really what you should be saying.

才是你真正應該說的。

I mean, I hate to constantly go over grammar with you.

我的意思是，我討厭不斷地去 與你的文法。

It's exhausting.

這很累。

-We just started the interview. That's one.

-我們剛剛開始採訪。這是一個。

-I know. -I get three strikes.

-我知道-我被三振了

-In this interview, you get three strikes.

-在這次採訪中，你會被三振出局。

In our history -- -In our history, oh, forget it.

在我們的歷史上--在我們的歷史上，哦，算了吧。

I'm already -- oh, please. Are you kidding me?

我已經... ... 哦，拜託。你在開玩笑嗎？

I'm awful. I'm bad with that.

我是可怕的。我不擅長這個。

I've got to figure that out. Next time I talk to you,

我得想想辦法下次我再跟你說

you can test me on grammar and see if I'm getting better.

你可以測試我的文法，看看我是否有進步。

-All right, that sounds like a fair shake. Thank you.

-好吧，這聽起來像一個公平的搖擺。好吧，這聽起來像是公平的搖擺。 - 謝謝你。

-That sounds like a really exciting part of the interview.

-這聽起來像是採訪中非常激動人心的部分。

-Yeah, it sounds like an episode people are going to be

-是啊，這聽起來像一個劇集，人們將是一個。

dying to see. [ Laughs ]

渴望看到。[笑]

-"Oh, did see the Chelsea Grammar episode?"

-"哦，看到切爾西文法的情節嗎？"

-Chelsea -- [ Laughs ] Chelsea Grammar.

-切爾西 - [笑] 切爾西文法。

I can team up with Kelsey Grammer

我可以和凱爾西-格拉默合作了

and we can both double team you on your grammar.

我們可以在你的文法上雙管齊下。

-Do you have your Halloween costume yet?

-你的萬聖節服裝準備好了嗎？

If not, you could be Chelsea Grammar.

如果不是的話，你可能是切爾西文法。

-That's it. -I'm just saying.

-就是這樣-我只是說說而已

Are you a Halloween person? I feel like you were

你喜歡萬聖節嗎？我覺得你是

and now you're not.

現在你不在了

-It's weird that you would think that,

-你會這麼想，真奇怪

but I'm not into dressing up.

但我不喜歡打扮。

I feel like it's degrading.

我覺得這是在貶低自己。

You know what I mean? -Yeah.

你知道我的意思嗎？-是的

-I'm not into costumes. You're a good sport,

-我不喜歡服裝你是一個很好的運動。

and I don't have a good sport attitude.

而且我沒有一個好的運動態度。

I'm kind of like a Scrooge when it comes to people telling me

我有點像一個吝嗇鬼 當它涉及到別人告訴我

what to do on a certain day of the year.

某年某月某日該做什麼。

I take offense to that.

我對此表示不滿。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

It's like Christmas, "No, don't tell me

就像聖誕節，"不，不要告訴我

when I'm supposed to give my friends and family gifts

當我應該給我的朋友和家人送禮的時候。

and celebrate something I don't even believe in."

並慶祝我甚至不相信的東西。"

-I agree with you about that. Don't tell me what you want

-我同意你的看法不要告訴我你想要什麼

for Christmas. That's the whole idea --

為聖誕節。這就是整個想法 --

No, I'm giving a gift. I'm just giving

不，我是在送禮。我只是在送

and either you take it or you go, 'Wow, okay.'"

要麼你把它或你去，'哇，好吧。"

-Yeah. -You get what you get.

-是的，你得到了你所得到的。

-This Christmas is going to be different because like --

-今年的聖誕節將是不同的，因為就像 --

you know, like you, I spend a lot of time with my family.

你知道，像你一樣，我花了很多時間與我的家人。

But I spent a lot of time, they descended upon my house

但我花了很多時間，他們來到我的房子裡。

when quarantine started.

隔離開始時。

My sister, Simone, who I used to like a lot more,

我的妹妹，西蒙妮，我以前更喜歡她。

and her three children.

和她的三個孩子。

They lived with me for two months.

他們和我一起住了兩個月。

And that was, you know, wonderful to see my house

那是，你知道，美好的看到我的房子。

being used in that way.

正在以這種方式使用。

But it was a lot of time with children that I chose

但是，我選擇了和孩子們在一起的時間很多。

not to have on my own, you know?

不是我一個人的，你知道嗎？

So it felt like, wait a second, I made the right decisions

所以我覺得，等一下，我做了正確的決定。

in my life, yet I'm being punished.

在我的生活中，但我被懲罰。

And then over the summer,

然後在夏天的時候。

we went on like a two-week family vacation

我們去了像一個兩個星期的家庭度假。

with my entire family. -Aww.

與我的整個家庭。-啊

-And with all my nieces and nephews.

-還有我所有的侄女和外甥女.

So for Christmas, they're like, "What's the plan for Christmas?"

所以對於聖誕節，他們會問 "聖誕節有什麼計劃？"

And we usually go for Canada.

而我們通常去加拿大。

I'm like, "We can't get into Canada this year

我想，"我們今年不能進入加拿大。

because we're pariahs.

因為我們是賤民。

We can't go skiing."

我們不能去滑雪。"

I said, "So I guess everyone's

我說："所以我想大家的

on their own this year for COVID."

今年自己的COVID"。

You know, we already had the vacation at Martha's Vineyard.

你知道，我們已經有了在瑪莎葡萄園的假期。

And my brother actually had the audacity to say to me,

而我哥居然還敢對我說。

"What about you coming East and we all go skiing in Vermont?"

"你來東部，我們一起去佛蒙特州滑雪怎麼樣？"

I go, "I don't think you're getting the message.

我走了，"我想你沒有明白我的意思。

I'm not celebrating Christmas with you guys, okay?

我不會和你們一起慶祝聖誕節的，好嗎？

I want to be alone." -No.

我想一個人待著。"-不

You're like, "I don't go to you, we go to a place.

你就像，"我不去找你，我們去一個地方"。

But I'm not gonna go -- what are we --"

但我不會去... ...我們是什麼... ..."

I think you're going to go.

我想你要走了。

-I'm not going to Vermont. I'm not.

-我不會去佛蒙特州。我不會去佛蒙特州的

-Turns out I don't know you at all.

-原來我根本不認識你.

-No, you don't. It doesn't seem like --

-不，你沒有。不，你沒有。 - 這似乎並不像 -

The more we talk, the less it seems like you know.

我們聊得越多，你就越不知道。

-I've read the books, I've seen the specials, I watch the show.

-我讀過書，看過特輯，也看過節目。

I've watched -- I've seen everything, the whole --

我看了... 我看了所有的東西，整個... ...

the evolution.

的演變。

I'm not segueing yet, but the evolution of your career.

我現在還沒有轉業，但你的職業發展。

I've been there. We're getting close.

我一直在那裡。我們快到了

-You have. -I have the long setup.

-你有-我有很長的設置。

So I say "evolution,"

所以我說 "進化"

then eventually we'll get to the setup.

然後最終我們會得到的設置。

But not yet. -Okay, should I just wait here?

但還沒有-好吧，我應該在這裡等嗎？

Should I just wait here? -Yes.

我應該在這裡等嗎？-是的

You should just wait there. I was thinking,

你應該在那裡等著。我在想

is my grammar correct on that?

我的文法正確嗎？

You're very open about how therapy has helped you

你對治療對你的幫助非常坦誠。

become a more patient person in some ways.

在某些方面成為一個更有耐心的人。

Is that something that you have to work on

那是你必須要努力的事情嗎？

all the time and still do? -Well, yes.

所有的時間和仍然做？-嗯，是的

I mean, for sure. If I could learn

我的意思是，肯定的。如果我能學會

how to get a handle on my patience, anyone can.

如何掌握我的耐心，誰都可以。

And you know, you think you're doing well, like I -- you know,

你知道，你認為你做得很好， 像我 - 你知道。

I'm making a lot of improvements, I'm less reactive.

我做了很多改進，我不那麼被動了。

But when I came home this last trip,

但當我上次旅行回家時

I had been gone for like two months.

我已經走了兩個月了

I went and shot my special, I went on my family vacation,

我去拍了我的特輯，我去了我的家庭度假。

then I rented a house in Maine for a couple weeks.

然後我在緬因州租了幾周的房子。

And I came home and my assistant had had all the decks

我回到家，我的助理已經有了所有的甲板。

painted black, dark, dark black.

漆成黑色，黑黑的，黑黑的。

Paint on my wood, my Ipe wood, and my house.

在我的木頭上，在我的木頭上，在我的木頭上，在我的房子上塗上油漆。

And this is -- and I think, you know, like "Oh, I'm reasonable.

這是 - 我想，你知道，像 "哦，我是合理的。

I'm a rational person."

我是一個理性的人。"

I walked outside, saw my -- and my decks, and my house,

我走到外面，看到我的... 我的甲板，還有我的房子。

and compass, everything.

和指南針，一切。

And I went off.

我就走了。

I was like, "How could you think

我當時想，"你怎麼能認為

that I would think that this would look good?

我覺得這看起來不錯？

Black paint!" I go, "It's too hot to even walk on.

黑漆！"我去，"太熱了，連走路都不方便。

The dogs are going to scald their little baby paws."

狗都要燙傷它們的小爪子了。"

And then -- I couldn't believe it.

然後... ... 我簡直不敢相信。

I go, "How could you think I would like paint?"

我說："你怎麼會認為我喜歡畫畫？"

-Yes. -"How could you paint wood?

-是的。"你怎麼能給木頭上漆呢？

And how could paint it this color?"

又怎麼能塗成這個顏色呢？"

-"Am I a person that looks like they like painted wood?

-"我是一個看起來喜歡油漆木頭的人嗎？

Don't you know me?" -Yeah, and I looked --

你不認識我了嗎？"-是的，我看 --

And I'm like -- oh -- as soon as it's out

我就像... 哦... 只要它出來了

and I'm screaming and saying these words

我大喊大叫，說著這些話。

and being such a small person and I'm worried about

和這樣一個小人物，我很擔心。

my stupid decks when we're in the middle of a pandemic,

我的愚蠢的卡組，當我們在流行病的中間。

I was like, "Shut up, shut up, shut up,

我當時想，"閉嘴，閉嘴，閉嘴。

you're being a bitch. Shut up, shut up.

你是一個婊子。閉嘴，閉嘴。

Stop talking! Stop talking."

別說話了！不要再說了。"

And I'm like, you think you're all, you know, fixed or better

我想，你認為你是所有，你知道，固定或更好的。

and then you have a slip-up like that,

然後你有這樣的失誤。

and that was really embarrassing.

這真的很尷尬。

I had to apologize to my assistant

我不得不向我的助手道歉

'cause I had an outburst like I hadn't had in years.

"因為我有一個爆發 像我有在多年沒有。

So it's a work in progress.

所以這是一個正在進行中的工作。

-Yeah, I have to call your therapist,

-是啊，我得給你的心理醫生打電話了。

'cause I have the same problem.

因為我有同樣的問題。

Did you -- let's get into something that's less stressful.

你有沒有... 讓我們來談談壓力較小的事情。

Did you watch the debate last night?

你看了昨晚的辯論嗎？

[ Light laughter ]

[輕笑]

-You know what? I took myself out to dinner

-你知道嗎？我帶自己出去吃飯了

instead of watching the debate,

而不是觀看辯論。

because I've heard that idiot talk for four years

因為我聽那個白痴說了4年了

and I don't need to hear him say another word.

我不需要聽他再說一個字。

-[ Laughs ]

-[笑]

-I mean, seriously. My blood pressure,

-我的意思是，認真。我的血壓

you can already tell when I get enervated.

你已經能看出我什麼時候變得緊張了。

It's not good for anybody. -No.

這對誰都不好。-不

-So I can't watch him talk. No, thanks.

-所以我不能看他說話。不，謝謝

-I think -- -And you know --

-我想，你知道...

-Go.

-去吧

-You heard about my ex-boyfriend, right?

-你聽說我前男友的事了吧？

50 Cent and his support of Donald Trump?

50分和他對唐納德-特朗普的支持? 50 Cent and his support of Donald Trump?

How he tweeted about it. -Yeah, what's going on?

他在推特上是怎麼說的？-是啊，這是怎麼回事？

I saw your tweets and I go, "Wait, what's happening?"

我看到你的微博，我就說："等等，發生了什麼？"

'Cause you said he was your favorite ex-boyfriend.

因為你說他是你最喜歡的前男友。

And then he -- what does he do? He's supporting Trump?

然後他 -- 他做了什麼？他在支持特朗普？

-He says he doesn't want to pay 62% of taxes,

-他說他不想交62%的稅。

which by the way, isn't a plan of Joe Biden's.

順便說一句，這不是喬・拜登的計劃。

That's a lie.

這是一個謊言。

So he doesn't want to pay 62% of taxes

所以他不想交62%的稅款

because he doesn't want to go from being 50 Cent to 20 Cent.

因為他不想從50分變成20分 Because he doesn't want to go from being 50 Cent to 20 Cent.

And I -- and I had to remind him that he was a black person,

我 - 我不得不提醒他，他是一個黑人。

so he can't vote for Donald Trump

所以他不能投唐納德-特朗普的票

and that he shouldn't be influencing

而且他不應該影響

an entire swath of people who may listen to him

一大片可能聽他的話的人。

because he's worried about his own personal pocketbook.

因為他擔心的是自己的私房錢。

So I haven't heard back from him yet, but I am willing to,

所以我還沒有收到他的回覆，但我願意。

you know, seal the deal in more ways than one

一錘定音

if he changes his mind

如果他改變主意

and publicly denounces Donald Trump.

並公開譴責唐納德-特朗普。

I might be willing to go for another spin,

我可能願意再去轉一圈。

if you know what I'm talking about.

如果你知道我在說什麼。