WE TAPED THIS SHOW RIGHT BEFORE THE DEBATE BEGAN.

我們在辯論開始前就錄下了這個節目。

REG, WILL YOU BE WATCHING AFTER THIS STH.

REG，你會不會看完這個STH。

>> Reggie: THE DEBAIT.

>> 雷吉：DEBAIT。

>> THE DE-BAIT.

>> 誘餌。

>> I WILL, FOR SURE.

>> 我一定會的，一定會的。

>> James: WILL YOU.

>> 詹姆斯。你會。

>> Reggie: YEAH.

>> 雷吉：YEAH。

>> James: WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT TRUMP CANCELS OR JUST BAILS

>> 詹姆斯：特朗普取消或直接放行的可能性有多大？

AFTER FIVE MINUTES?

五分鐘後？

>> I DON'T KNOW, THEY GOT A LOT OF CAMERAS THERE, AND THAT DUDE

>> 我不知道，他們在那裡有很多攝影機，而那個傢伙。

LOVERS ATTENTION, RIGHT?

夫妻注意了，對吧？

LIKE I COULD MAKE A SCENE AT A BUFFET BUT IF THEY GOT ORANGE

就像我可以做一個場景在一個BUFFET，但如果他們得到了橙色，

CHICKEN AND PIZZA WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, LEAVE?

雞肉和比薩餅 我要做什麼，離開？

>> James: EXACTLY.

>> 詹姆斯。正是如此。

(APPLAUSE) 100 PERCENT T IS ALSO THE ONLY

(掌聲)100%的T也是唯一的...

PLACE THAT'S ACCEPTABLE.

可以接受的地方。

>> THOSE TWO FOODS IN THE SAME PLACE.

>> 這兩個食物在同一個地方。

>> James: ONLY PLACE IT IS ACCEPTABLE.

>> 詹姆斯。唯一可以接受的地方。

>> THAT'S IT.

>> 就是這樣。

IF THOSE WERE BOTH ON THE MENU AT ANOTHER RESTAURANT YOU WOULD

如果這兩樣東西在其他餐廳的菜單上，你就會

LEAVE, YOU WOULD TAKE YOUR FAMILY, WOULD YOU CALL YOUR

離開，你會帶著你的家人，你會給你的家人打電話嗎？

FRIENDS.

FRIENDS。

>> James: YOU WOULD BE JUDGED BY EVERYONE AROUND YOU.

>> 詹姆斯。你會被周圍的人評價。

ARE YOU HAVING WHAT?

你在吃什麼？

YEAH, YEAH, I'M HAVING PIZZA SOME FRIES, THIS NOODLE DISH,

是啊，是啊，我有比薩餅 一些薯條，這個麵條的菜。

SOME OF EGG ROLLS, ORANGE CHICKEN AND THEN A LITTLE BIT OF

一些蛋卷，橘子雞肉，然後再來一點。

SASHIMI.

SASHIMI。

>> YOU KNOW WHAT I WILL SQUEEZE ON TO THAT PLATE?

>> 你知道我會把什麼東西擠到盤子上嗎？

JUST LIKE A LOT OF JELLO.

就像很多JELLO。

>> James: AND THAT'S IT, THAT'S MY PLATE.

>> 詹姆斯。就是這樣，這是我的牌子。

>> I DON'T WANT TO WALK BACK FROM A BUFFET UNLESS I HAVE TO

>> 除非迫不得已，我不想從自助餐走回來。

WALK SO SLOWLY.

走得這麼慢。

MY WALK TO THE BUFFET AND AWAY FROM THE BUFFET COULD NOT BE

我去茶座和離開茶座的路途中，不可能再有什麼不愉快了。

MORE DIFFERENT.

更為不同。

I STRIDE, I STRIDE TO THE BUFFET LIKE THIS.

我大步流星，我大步流星到這樣的BUFFET。

[BLEEP] GET IN THERE NOW.

[嗶]得到在那裡現在。

AND I WAKE BACK LIKE THIS.

而我醒來的時候是這樣的。

(LAUGHTER) WHERE ARE THE RIBS?

(笑)RIBS在哪裡？

YOU GOT RUBS?

你有RUBS嗎？

I'M SURE THEY COVERED ALL OF THIS ON COLBERT ALREADY.

我敢肯定，他們已經在科爾伯特上報道了所有這些。

(LAUGHTER) HERE WE GO, LIVE ON KOL BEDDER,

在這裡，我們去，住在KOL BEDDER。

WE OPEN WITH A LOT OF BUFFET STUFF.

我們的開場白有很多點心。

TONIGHT'S DEBATE WAS HELD ON THE CAMPUS OF BOAL MONTH UNIVERSITY

今晚的辯論會在博爾蒙大學校園內舉行。

IN NASHVILLE TENNESSEE.

在田納西州的納什維爾。

THERE WERE SIX TOPICS ANNOUNCED FOR TONIGHT'S DEBATE, FIGHTING

今晚的辯論會有六個主題宣佈，打架。

COVID, AMERICAN FAMILIES, RACE IN AMERICA, CLIMATE CHANGE,

COVID、美國家庭、美國的種族、氣候變化。

NATIONAL SECURITY AND LEADERSHIP.

國家安全與領導力：國家安全與領導力。

OR AS TRUMP CALLS THAT, HOAX, WHO CARES, FAKE NEWS, HOAX,

或如特朗普所說的，騙局，誰在乎，假新聞，騙局。

NATIONAL SECURITY AND LOCKUP JOE BIDEN.

國家安全和鎖鏈喬伊-比登。

BUT TONIGHT'S DE BAILT NEW RULES WERE ISSUED FOR AUDIENCE MEMBERS

但今晚的德拜爾特對觀眾發佈了新的規則。

WITHOUT EXCEPTION, ANY AUDIENCE MEMBER WITHOUT A MASK WOULD BE

除此以外，任何未戴面具的聽眾都將被視為 "無名氏"。

THROWN OUT.

駁回。

WHEN SHE HEARD THAT MELANIA IMMEDIATELY RIPPED HER MASK OFF.

當她聽到梅蘭妮亞立即撕掉了她的面具。

THIS IS NASHVILLE SO OF COURSE THEY PUT IT A DIFFERENT WAY,

這是納什維爾，所以他們當然會用不同的方式來表達。

THEY SAID ANYBODY NOT WEARING A MASK WILL BE FOSSED OUT ON THAWR

他們說，任何不戴面具的人，都會在鋸木機上被炸死。

BADONKADONK.

BADONKADONK：

YEAH, OKAY, I CAN'T SAY THE WORD TOSSED, CLEARLY.

是啊，好吧，我不能說這個詞扔了，清楚。

YES, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

是的，這就是發生了什麼。

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

這就是發生的事情。

THE BADONKADONK JOKE IS FINE, IF ONLY THERE WAS A HOAX TO DISPLAY

BADONKADONK的笑話是好的，如果有一個騙局，以顯示

THE WORD TOSS, AS YOU MAY RECALL TRUMP'S FAMILY MEMBERS TOOK OFF

擲字遊戲，你可能記得特朗普的家人脫口而出。

THEIR MASK AFTER ARRIVING AT THE FIRST DEBATE.

在抵達第一場辯論會後，他們的面具。

AND IN THEIR DEFENSE, THEY HAD ARE A GOOD REASON.

而在他們的辯護中，他們有一個很好的理由。

THEY WERE TRYING TO GIVE COBIDEN DOE VID.

他們試圖給COBIDEN DOE視頻。

MEANWHILE EARLIER TODAY PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS TRYING TO

今天早些時候，特朗普總統正試圖以

GET OUT AHEAD OF THE DEBATE BY RELEASING THE FOOTAGE OF HIS

通過發佈他的鏡頭，搶在辯論之前。

UPCOMING INTER-- INTERVIEW WITH LESLEY STAHL.

即將到來的inter -- 採訪LESLEY STAHL。

HE SAID HE WANTED PEOPLE TO SEE HOW UNFAWRLY HE WAS STREET,

他說，他想讓人們看到他是多麼的不堪一擊的街道。

WATCH THE INTERRUPTIONS AND ANGER COMPARED MY FLEE FLOWING

觀看中斷和憤怒比較我的飛翔。

AND MAGNIFICENTLY BRILLIANT ANSWERS.

和精彩的回答。

>> FULL FLOWING AND MAGNIFICENTLY BRILLIANT.

>> 飽滿的花朵和神奇的輝煌。

SOUNDS LIKE HE IS DESCRIBING A HORSES MANE IT IS AMAZING SHOW

聽起來像他在描述馬鬃，這是一個令人驚歎的節目。

THAT IS WAS EASY FOR FOR TRUMP TO RELEASE UNAUTHORIZED FOOTAGE

這是很容易為特朗普釋放未經授權的鏡頭。

FROM A MAJOR TELEVISION NETWORK THAN TO RELEASE HIS OWN TAXES.

比起釋放自己的稅款，從一個大型電視網。

THAT GOT HIM.

這得到了他。

>> THAT GOT HIM.

>> 逮到他了。

>> APPARENTLY LESLEY STAHL MADE IT CLEAR TO TRUMP THAT SHE

>> 看來萊斯利-斯泰爾向特朗普明確表示，她

PLANNED TO ASK HIM SOME DIFFICULT QUESTIONS DURING THE

計劃在會議期間問他一些困難的問題。

INTERVIEW AND TRUMP WASN'T HAVING ANY OF IT.

採訪和特朗普沒有任何的。

>> YOU REALLY READY FOR TOUGH QUESTIONS.

>> 你已經準備好面對棘手的問題了。

NO.

編號：

>> MAYBE SHE SHOULD HAVE STARTED BY EXPLAINING TO HIM WHAT AN

>> 也許她應該從向他解釋什麼是 "一個 "開始。

INTERVIEW IS.

採訪是。

IT IS A SERIES OF TOUGH QUESTIONS.

這是一系列棘手的問題。

HE IS THE SITTING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, LESS THAN TWO

他是美國的現任總統，還不到兩個月。

WEEKS AWAY FROM AN ELECTION IN THE MIDDLE OF A WORLDWIDE

在世界範圍內舉行的選舉還有幾周時間。

PANDEMIC WATCH.

PANDEMIC WATCH.

DID HE THINK SHE WAS GOING TO ASK.

他以為她會問：

TELL ME, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON OF THE SIMPSONS.

告訴我，你最喜歡哪一季的《SIMPSONS》。

>> BUT LESLEY IS PARTLY TO BLAME FOR THIS ONE.

>> 但萊斯利是部分責任的這一個。

YOU CAN'T START A QUESTION TO DONALD TRUMP WITH ARE YOU READY

你不能用 "你準備好了嗎 "來開始問唐納德-特朗普的問題

FOR, AND NOT END WITH SOME FOOTBALL!

為，而不是以一些足球結束！

AND ANOTHER POINT IN THE INTERVIEW TRUMP TURNS AND

和另一個點在採訪中，特朗普轉身，並。

STARTED TALKING TO MIKE PENCE WHO WAS ALSO THERE IN THE ROOM

開始和也在房間裡的邁克-彭斯說話。

WITH HIM.

與他。

AND HE ASKED PENCE TO BACK HIM UP ABOUT HIS UNFAIR TREATMENT.

他要求彭斯支持他的不公平待遇。

>> MIKE, IS THAT-- YOU KNOW MIKE, RIGHT.

>> 邁克，是... ... 你認識邁克，對吧。

OUR VICE PRESIDENT.

我們的副主席：

>> I DO.

>> 我願意。

>> DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD ASK QUESTIONS LIKE THIS AS-- DO YOU

>> 你認為你應該問這樣的問題嗎？

THINK SHE ASKS QUESTIONS LIKE THIS TO JOE.

我想她會問喬這樣的問題。

>> James: THE CRAZY THING IS THAT WAS PROBABLY THE LEAST

>> 詹姆斯。瘋狂的是，這可能是最不可能的

CREEPY SCENARIO WHERE TRUMP HAS ASKED SOMEONE, ARE YOU HAVING A

特朗普問某人："你有什麼事嗎？"的可怕場景。

GOOD TIME WATCHING?

好看的時間？

(LAUGHTER) ALTHOUGH I LIKE THAT TRUMP

雖然我喜歡那個特朗普。

INTRODUCED THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WITH YOU KNOW

介紹美國副總統和你認識的人。

MIKE, OUR GREAT VICE PRESIDENT.

麥克，我們偉大的副主席。

YOU KNOW, THE GUY, THAT HAS GOT THE FLY ON HIS HEAD.

你知道，那個頭上有蒼蠅的傢伙。

BUT TRUMP WASN'T THE ONLY ONE GETTING OUT THERE BEFORE THE

但特朗普並不是唯一一個在事件發生前離開的人。

DEBATE.

辯論：

PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL FOR JOE BIDEN AND

奧巴馬總統在喬-比登的競選路線上和

LAST NIGHT HE SPOKE AT A DRIVE-IN RALLY IN PHILADELPHIA.

昨晚他在費城的一個汽車拉力賽上發言。

OBAMA REALLY PULLED NO PUNCHES DUING THE SMEECH.

奧巴馬真的沒有對SMECH進行任何打擊。

HERE HE IS CONDEMNING TRUMP'S BEHAVIOR AS UNACCEPTABLE FOR A

在這裡，他譴責特朗普的行為是不可接受的一個。

PRESIDENT.

主席：

>> THAT'S NOT NORMAL PRESIDENTIAL BEHAVIOR.

>> 這不是正常的總統行為。

WE WOULDN'T TOLERATE IT FROM A HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL.

我們不會容忍一個高中校長這樣做。

WE WOULDN'T TOLERATE IT FROM A COACH.

我們不會容忍一個教練這樣做。

WE WOULDN'T TOLERATE IT FROM A COWORKER.

我們不會容忍一個工人這樣做。

WE WOULDN'T TOLERATE IN OUR OWN FAMILY EXCEPT FOR MAYBE CRAZY

我們不會容忍在我們自己的家庭中，除了可能是瘋狂的

UNCLE SOMEWHERE, YOU KNOW,-- .

某個地方的叔叔，你知道的... ...

>> James: HE CALLED IT TRUMP A CRAZY UNCLE.

>> 詹姆斯。他叫它特朗普，一個瘋狂的叔叔。

BUT THE TRUTH IS HE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

但事實是他遠不止於此。

IS HE A CRAZY HUSBAND, A CRAZY FATHER AND [BLEEP] HE IS

他是一個瘋狂的丈夫，一個瘋狂的父親和[嗶]他是。

SOMEONE'S CRAZY SON.

某人的瘋兒子。

TELL YOU WHAT, OBAMA IS LOOKING GOOD THOUGH, ISN'T HE?

告訴你吧，奧巴馬看起來不錯，不是嗎？

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

I SEE A BRAVE MOVE, NOT MANY PEOPLE CAN PULL OFF WEARING A

我看到了一個勇敢的舉動，沒有多少人能夠脫下衣服，穿在身上。

BABY BLUE SHIRT GIVING A SPEECH UNDER LIGHT, I WOULD BE BEYOND

藍衫寶寶在燈光下發表演講，我將不勝其煩。

PARANOID ABOUT PATCHES.

關於補丁的帕拉諾德

THAT IS WHY I WEAR THIS JACKET ALL THE TIME, MY ARMPITS ARE

這就是為什麼我一直穿著這件夾克，我的腋下。

CRYING UNDER HERE.

在這裡哭泣的下。

IF I WORE A BABY BLUE SHIRT AND ONLY A BABY BLUE SHIRT I WOULD

如果我穿了一件藍色的嬰兒襯衫，而且只穿了一件藍色的嬰兒襯衫，我就會。

DO THE ENTIRE SPEECH LIKE THIS.

做整個演講這樣的。

THEN I WOULD HAVE TO DRINK WATER LIKE TRUMP.

那我就得像特朗普一樣喝水了。

SORRY, YOU WERE SAYING? COULD YOU PULL OFF A BABY BLUE FOR A

對不起，你在說什麼，你能不能把嬰兒藍色的衣服脫下來？

SPEECH?

講話？

>> NO, NO, NO.

>> 不，不，不。

I WOULD LOOK LIKE A COLLEGE BASKETBALL COUCH WHO HAD MONEY

我會看起來像一個有錢的大學籃球教練。

ON THE GAME, I WOULD BE SWEATING SO BAD.

在遊戲中，我會出汗如此糟糕。

AT ONE POINT OBAMA BLASTED TRUMP FOR EMBRACING CONSPIRACY

奧巴馬曾一度抨擊特朗普的陰謀論。

THEORIES.

理論：

>> YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GO ABOUT YOUR LIVES KNOWING THAT THE

>> 你將可以繼續你的生活，因為你知道我們的產品會讓你的生活變得更美好。

PRESIDENT IS NOT GOING TO RETWEET CONSPIRACY THEORIES.

總統不會轉發陰謀論。

ABOUT SECRET CABALS RUNNING THE WORLD OR THAT NAVY SEALS DIDN'T

海豹突擊隊在世界範圍內的祕密行動，或者海豹突擊隊不知道的事情

ACTUALLY KILL BIN LADEN.

真正殺了賓拉登。

THINK ABOUT THAT.

你想想看

THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES RETWEETED THAT.

美國總統發了一條微博。

IMAGINE, WHAT, WHAT?

想象一下，什麼，什麼？

>> I DON'T THINK ANYTHING SUMS UP THE LAST FOUR YEARS BETTER

>> 我不認為有什麼東西能比過去四年更好地吸納。

THAN WHAT?

那是什麼？

WHAT?

什麼？

HE SAID THAT WITH BIDEN WE WOON HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE

他說，有了比登，我們就不用擔心了。

PRESIDENT RETWEETING CONSPIRACY THEORIES ABOUT SECRET CABALS

總統在微博上發表關於祕密基地的陰謀論。

RUNNING THE WORLD.

奔跑世界：

SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE SOMETHING THE HEAD OF ILLUMINATI WOULD

聽起來就像ILLUMINATI的頭會做的事一樣

SAY.

說：

BUT HE MAKES A GOOD POINT.

但他說的很有道理。

IT WILL BE SO NICE NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT THE PRESIDENT

不用再為總統擔心了，那就太好了。

RETWEETING CONSPIRACY THEORIES, MAINLY BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT

轉發陰謀論，主要是因為我們都知道。

JOE BIDEN HAS NO IDEA WHAT A RETWEET IS.

喬-比登不知道什麼是RETWEET。

HE'S LIKE A RETWEET?

他喜歡轉發？

OH, I LOVE THEM, THOSE LITTLE MARSHMALLOWS YOU GET AT EASTER,

哦，我喜歡它們，那些小棉花糖 你在聖誕節得到的。

THE RETWEET, OH, IF I HAVE ONE, I HAVE FIVE.

轉發，哦，如果我有一個，我有五個。

NOW IF ALL OF THIS HAS YOU UNBELIEVABLY STRESSED OUT,

如果這一切讓你感到無比的緊張，

TONIGHT'S DEBATE, THE UPCOMING ELECTION, DON'T WORRY THERE WAS

今晚的辯論，即將到來的選舉，不要擔心有。

A NEW WELLNESS TREND THAT MAYBE FOR YOU, TO RELIEVE TENSION MORE

一種新的健康趨勢，也許對你來說，可以更有效地緩解緊張情緒。

AND MORE PEOPLE, THIS IS TRUE, HAVE STARTED HUGGING COWS.

和更多的人，這是真的， 已經開始擁抱牛。

SERIOUSLY, APPARENTLY HUGGING A COW RELEASES A BONDING HORMONE

嚴重的是，顯然抱著一頭牛釋放了一種結合激素

BY RELIEVES STRESS.

通過緩解壓力。

I MEAN IT RELIEVES YOUR STRESS.

我的意思是它可以緩解你的壓力。

THE COW IS LIKE GET THIS PERSON OFF ME.

牛是喜歡讓這個人離開我。

WEIRDER, THE COWS ARE A GREAT SOURCE OF WELLNESS.

更奇怪的是，牛是一個偉大的源泉的健康。

I ACTUALLY PREFER THE MEDIUM WELLNESS.

其實我更喜歡中度的健康。

I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING, KIDDING, I'M A VEGAN.

我在開玩笑，我在開玩笑，開玩笑，我是一個素食主義者。

IN TERMS OF WELLNESS TRENDS, YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT GOOP, THIS IS

在健康的趨勢方面，你可以忘掉GOOP，這是

MOOP.

MOOP。

BY GO WHENNETTE COW-LTR OW.

BY GO WHENNETTE COW-LTR OW。

MOOP BY ITSELF, BARELY WORKS.

MOOP本身，勉強工作。

I MIGHT HAVE SUAVED IT WITH GWYNETH COW-TTROA, I DON'T KNOW

我可能用GWYNETH COW-TTROA把它撈起來了，我不知道。

WHAT TO SAY, THAT IS THE END OF THE MONOLOGUE.

該怎麼說呢，這是結束的獨白。