And the war on abortion life begins at conception.

而對墮胎生命的戰爭從孕育開始。

Then why did you block a $500 relief payout for pregnant women?

那你為什麼要阻攔孕婦500元的救濟金呢？

Because life begins at birth.

因為生命從出生開始。

Okay, well, then you must be okay with abortion.

好吧，好吧，那你一定可以接受墮胎。

Life begins at controlling women's bodies.

生活從控制女人的身體開始。

Well, I guess that explains why her against birth control.

好吧，我想這解釋了為什麼她反對節育。

But did you know about the war on masturbation?

但你知道手淫的戰爭嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

In the 18 fifties, there was believed to be a condition called spare Monterey area, which was basically the female version of hysteria, which was described as involuntary, seminal loss, usually via nocturnal emission, which in regular talk is you're losing too much sperm, bro.

在1850年代，人們認為有一種病叫備用蒙特利區，基本上就是女性版的癔症，它的描述是不自主的，遺精，通常是通過夜間射精，用常規的話說就是你遺精太多，兄弟。

Especially in those wet dreams of yours, was very commonly said by Victorian doctors that masturbation, aka self abuse, leads to more death than all of history's wolves on epidemics.

特別是在你那些溼漉漉的夢裡，被維多利亞時代的醫生非常普遍的說，自慰，也就是自虐，導致的死亡比歷史上所有的狼群對流行病的死亡還要多。

Really?

真的嗎？

Yes.

是的，我知道

It also has an eclectic range of negative symptoms like vertigo, migrate, cerebral congestion, melancholy hysteria, convulsions, paralysis, chronic week palpitations and you're dying, covering your body packed rehabilitation and death.

它還有眩暈、移行、腦充血、憂鬱歇斯底里、抽搐、癱瘓、慢性周心悸等一系列負面症狀，你快死了，覆蓋你的身體包裝康復和死亡。

Well, then why does it feel so good and relieve the stresses of the day?

那為什麼感覺這麼好，能緩解一天的壓力呢？

I'm sorry Are you a doctor?

對不起，你是醫生嗎？

Do you have a doctor's education?

你有博士學歷嗎？

Unless you are the one female accepted into Harvard Medical School this year, 18 50 due to social reform that I don't think so.

除非你是今年被哈佛醫學院錄取的女性，18 50由於社會改革，我不這麼認為。

It just seems impossible that touching oneself has caused more death than all of history's wars and epidemics combined.

只是看起來不可能，自摸造成的死亡比歷史上所有戰爭和流行病的總和還要多。

I didn't make realities rules, okay, Does it seem implausible that my sperm is made up of tiny microscopic men that digging giant holes in the ground leads to rain blowing tobacco up the butthole heels, especially in reviving drowning victims?

我沒有制定現實的規則，好吧，我的精子是由微小的微觀人組成的，在地上挖巨洞，導致雨水把菸草吹到屁眼跟前，尤其是在復活溺水者方面，是不是覺得很不可思議？

Yes.

是的，我知道

Actually, a lot of that seems very implausible.

其實，很多東西看起來都是很不合理的。

That is what science is.

這就是科學。

My point is, do not self abuse, perhaps by yourself with leather chastity belt.

我的觀點是，不要自虐，或許自己用皮製貞操帶。

And if you have a husband, buy him some anti masturbation armas.

如果你有丈夫，給他買一些防手淫的武器。

Well, there is a plethora of options I hate this century.

好吧，我討厭這個世紀，有太多的選擇。

Doctors warned married men to limit the amount of sex they had.

醫生警告已婚男性要限制性生活的次數。

They told unmarried men not to have sex at all and to particularly avoid masturbation on a lot of these preventative devices created the boat and device.

他們告訴未婚男性根本不要有性生活，尤其要避免手淫，在很多這些預防設備上創造了船和設備。

The jumpiness were actually just incredibly painful for men.

跳躍性對於男人來說，其實就是無比的痛苦。

Anytime they had an erection.

任何時候他們都有勃起。

Fun fact a woman named Ellen E.

有趣的是，一個叫愛倫-E的女人。

Perkins created a cloth bodysuit with metal plates as sexual armor.

珀金斯創造了一種布制的帶金屬板的防彈衣作為性裝甲。

When she was asked why she created this, she said, It is a deplorable but well known fact that one of the most common causes of insanity imbecility and feeble mindedness, especially in youth, is due to masturbation or self abuse.

當有人問她為什麼要創作這個作品時，她說：這是一個令人痛惜但眾所周知的事實，造成精神失常低能和弱智的最常見原因之一，尤其是在青少年中，是由於手淫或自虐造成的。

Ellen even patented her device.

艾倫甚至為她的設備申請了專利。

Look, January 1906 She thought she would make a fortune with this.

你看，1906年1月，她以為她會靠這個發財。

Unfortunately, these views didn't go away until the end of the 19th century, when Dr James Piguet questioned the very existence of spermatozoa Kororia.

不幸的是，這些觀點直到19世紀末才消失，當時James Piguet博士對精子Kororia的存在提出質疑。

Thankfully, men were eventually told that Hey, sorry, guys.

值得慶幸的是，男人最終被告知，嘿，對不起，夥計們。

Masturbation is actually not as bad as we thought.

自慰其實沒有我們想象的那麼糟糕。

And we're really sorry we told you that it caused unspeakable amount of death and pain.

我們真的很抱歉，我們告訴你，它造成了無法形容的死亡和痛苦。

I'm Anaconda.

我是蟒蛇。

You didn't even try to get a sponsor for this video, because who would dare stay awesome?

你甚至沒有嘗試為這個視頻找一個贊助商，因為誰敢留厲害？