THAT PROVES IT'S A LIVE SHOW.

這證明這是一個現場表演。

WE WOULD HAVE FIXED THAT IF THIS WASN'T LIVE.

我們會有固定的，如果這不是活的。

WELCOME-- MWAH!

歡迎 -- MWAH！

WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," ALL MY FRIENDS.

歡迎來到 "晚間秀"，所有的朋友們。

I'M YOUR MOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的最愛，斯蒂芬-科爾伯特。

AND WE ARE LIVE AFTER THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE IN UTAH!

我們在猶他州的副總統辯論後進行現場直播!

AND, FOLKS, IT LIVED UP TO THE HYPE.

而且，夥計們，它不負眾望。

IT WAS VICE-THRILLING!

這真是太驚險了!

WE'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE DEETS IN TONIGHT'S LONGR-UNNING,

我們會在今晚的《龍捲風雲》中給你所有的消息。

JUST-THIS-ONCE TELEVISION EVENT.

僅此一次的電視活動。

>> SALT LAKE VICE.

>> 鹽湖區副區長。

THE RACE FOR SECOND PLACE.

爭奪第二名。

KAMALA VERSUS PSALMALA.

卡馬拉與普薩拉馬拉：

A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM IMPORTANT.

一觸即發的重要。

2020.

2020.

>> Stephen: PENCE LOOKED GREAT IN THOSE EPICENTER RADRILLS.

>> Stephen:彭斯穿上那件EPICENTER RADRILLS的衣服很帥氣。

TRUMP'S DEBATE PROVED ONCE AND FOR ALL BY COMPARISON WHAT A

特朗普的辯論通過比較，一次次證明了什麼是

FLAMING TURD PILE LAST WEEK'S DEBATE WAS.

火雞樁上週的辯論是。

TRUMP'S DEBATE PERFORMANCE WAS A HURRICANE OF BAD FAITH.

特朗普的辯論表現是一場信仰錯誤的颶風。

IT BOARDED ON A DEMONSTRATION OF THE BANALT OF EVIL.

它登上了邪惡的巴納爾特的示範。

TONIGHT, ON THE OTHER HAND, WE WERE FACED WITH THE BANALITY OF

今晚，在另一方面，我們面對的BANALITY的

BANALITY.

BANALITY：

I SPENT THE WHOLE DEBATE ON THE MIDDLE OF MY SEAT.

我花了整個辯論 在我的座位中間。

IT WAS EVERYTHING WE EXPECTED: PENCE TALKED OVER ALL THE WOMEN

和我們預想的一樣：彭斯在所有的女人身上談了話

IN THE ROOM, THE MODERATOR TRIED TO CALL FOR ORDER, THE VICE

在會議廳內，主持人試圖呼籲大家遵守秩序，而副主席則在會議廳內向大家致意。

PRESIDENT GOT A COUPLE LICKS IN, THEN SENATOR HARRIS PICKED UP A

主席打了幾針，然後哈里斯參議員接了一針。

BROKEN POOL CUE AND BEAT PENCE OVER THE HEAD WITH THE TRUMP

打碎了球杆，用特朗普的球杆打彭斯的腦袋

ADMINISTRATION'S FAILURES.

行政部門的失誤：

ALL NIGHT, PENCE WOULDN'T GIVE ONE STRAIGHT ANSWER, WHICH IS

一整晚 彭斯都沒能給出一個直接的答案

KIND OF WEIRD, BECAUSE NORMALLY HE LIKES EVERYTHING STRAIGHT.

有點奇怪，因為通常他喜歡直來直去的東西。

IT WASN'T EARTH-SHATTERING, BUT THAT IS HOW POLITICS SHOULD BE.

這不是驚天動地，但這就是政治應該有的樣子。

REMEMBER?

記得嗎？

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO WATCH IT AND GO TO SLEEP, NOT WAKE UP IN

你應該能夠看完後就去睡覺，而不是在睡夢中醒來。

A COLD SWEAT WORRIED THAT YOUR HEALTH CARE WON'T COVER COLD

擔心您的健康保險不包括感冒，出了一身冷汗。

SWEATS.

汗。

BUT WHAT I'LL REMEMBER MOST ABOUT TONIGHT'S DEBATE IS THAT I

但我對今晚的辯論最難忘的是，我...

WON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT.

不會記得任何的。

OH-- THERE IS ONE MOMENT THAT STUCK WITH ME.

哦... ... 有一個時刻，讓我印象深刻。

YOU'LL KNOW IT WHEN YOU SEE IT, EVERYONE'S BUZZING ABOUT IT.

你一看到它就知道了，大家都在談論它。

BUT LET'S EARN IT.

但是，讓我們賺取它。

NOW, THE STAKES FOR THIS VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE WERE

現在，這次副總統辯論的賭注是

UNUSUALLY HIGH.

不尋常的高。

UNLIKE PREVIOUS V.P. MATCHUPS, HARRIS AND PENCE COULD BE

與以往的V.P.對決不同，哈里斯和彭斯可能會成為V.P.。

TAKING OVER FOR THEIR BOSSES PRETTY SOON CONSIDERING THAT

接手他們的老闆 很快考慮到這一點。

BIDEN IS A 77-YEAR-OLD MAN AND TRUMP IS A 74-YEAR-OLD LAWN

比登是一個77歲的男人和特朗普是一個74歲的草坪... ...

SPRINKLER FULL OF PATHOGENS.

滿是病菌的噴霧器。

IN FACT, BECAUSE OF THE INFECTION RISK, EXTRA

事實上，由於感染的風險，額外增加的費用將由政府承擔。

PRECAUTIONS WERE TAKEN, LIKE THESE PLEXIGLASS BARRIERS.

我們採取了預防措施，比如這些長條形的障礙物。

GOTTA SAY, I'VE SEEN BETTER SNEEZE-GUARDS AT THE SIZZLER

不得不說，我在SIZZLER見過比這更好的噴嚏警衛。

SALAD BAR.

沙拉吧：

OBVIOUSLY, THE PANDEMIC WAS TONIGHT'S PRIMARY TOPIC.

顯然，PANDEMIC是今晚的首要話題。

IT'S SOMETHING PENCE SHOULD KNOW A LOT ABOUT, CONSIDERING

彭斯應該知道很多，考慮到...

HE'S "HEAD OF THE WHITE HOUSE TASK FORCE ON THE CORONAVIRUS."

他是 "白宮冠狀病毒工作組的負責人"

AND HE'S DONE AN EXEMPLARY JOB AT HIS TASK OF FORCING THE

而他的任務是強迫人們接受他所做的一切。

CORONAVIRUS ON THE WHITE HOUSE.

白宮的冠狀病毒。

THE MODERATOR SUSAN PAGE START BIDE INTRODUCES HERSELF.

MODERATOR SUSAN PAGE START BIDE介紹自己。

>> I'M SUSAN PAGE OF "USA TODAY."

>> 我是 "美國今日新聞 "的蘇珊-皮爾。

( AS SUSAN ) "YOU MAY HAVE SEEN ME SHOVED

（作為蘇珊）"你可能已經看到了我被推倒了

UNDER YOUR HOTEL ROOM DOOR.

在你的酒店門下。

REMEMBER?

記得嗎？

YOU USED ME TO CLEAN UP THAT COFFEE SPILL."

你用我來清理那杯咖啡。"

RIGHT OFF THE BEAN, HARRIS REMINDED VOTERS THAT TRUMP AND

哈里斯一開始就提醒選民們，特朗普和...

PENCE WERE TOO SLOW TO RESPOND TO THIS DEADLY VIRUS.

彭斯對這種致命的病毒反應太慢了。

>> ON JANUARY 28, THE VICE PRESIDENT AND THE PRESIDENT WERE

>> 1月28日，副主席和主席出席了會議。

INFORMED ABOUT THE NATURE OF THIS PANDEMIC.

告知此PANDEMIC的性質。

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU KNEW ON JANUARY 28 AS OPPOSED TO MARCH

你能想象，如果你在1月28日知道，而不是3月

13, WHAT THEY KNEW, WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE DONE TO PREPARE?

13、他們知道什麼，你可能做了什麼準備？

>> Stephen: FOUR WORDS: TOILET PAPER SHOPPING SPREE.

>> Stephen:四個字：紙巾購物節。

PENCE STRUGGLED TO EXPLAIN HOW THEY SHANKED THE CORONAVIRUS SO

彭斯竭力解釋他們是如何將冠狀病毒擊碎的。

BADLY.

嚴重的。

>> OUR NATION HAS GONE THROUGH A VERY CHALLENGING TIME THIS YEAR.

>> 我們的國家今年經歷了一個非常具有挑戰性的時期。

>> Stephen: ADDING "I SHOULD KNOW.

>> 史蒂芬：補充 "我應該知道。

I WAS IN CHARGE WITH IT."

我是負責它的。"

PENCE STARTED OFF WITH SOMETHING OF A WHOPPER:

彭斯一開始就用了一個叫聲。

>> FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY, PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP HAS PUT

>> 從第一天開始，唐納德-特朗普總統就把目光投向了美國。

THE HEALTH OF THE AMERICA FIRST.

美國的健康第一。

>> Stephen: AND BY "FIRST DAY" I MEAN THE FIRST DAY HE TESTED

>> Stephen: "第一天 "是指他測試的第一天。

POSITIVE.

積極的。

AND BY "PUTTING THE HEALTH OF AMERICA FIRST" I MEAN RIDING THE

而 "把美國的健康放在第一位 "的意思是，我是說要把美國的健康放在第一位。

DEXAMETHASONE PONY RIGHT INTO THE MAIL STRON OF RAGNAROK.

DEXAMETHASONE PONY直接進入RAGNAROK的郵件STRON。

AGAIN, PENCE DIDN'T ALWAYS ANSWER THE QUESTION HE WAS

再說一遍，彭斯並不總是回答他的問題。

ACTUALLY ASKED.

實際問：

>> WELL, SUSAN, THANK YOU, ALTHOUGH I WOULD LIKE TO GO

>> 好吧，蘇珊，謝謝你，儘管我也想去。

BACK.

返回。

>> Stephen: TO THE YEAR SCEN 24.

>> Stephen:到年場景24。

WOMEN HAVE BEEN SHOWING FAR TOO MUCH ANKLE SINCE THEN.

從那時起，女人就已經露出了太多的腳踝。

PENCE ATTEMPTED TO DRAW AN INSANE EQUIVALENCY TO THE

彭斯試圖將一個瘋狂的等價物畫到《公約》上。

CORONAVIRUS.

CORONAVIRUS：

>> IT WAS 2009, THE SWINE FLU ARRIVED IN THE UNITED STATES.

>> 那是2009年，豬流感傳入美國。

>> Stephen: OH, YES!

>> Stephen:哦，是的！

THE SWINE FLU PANDEMIC OF 2009!

2009年的豬流感大流行!

WE ALL REMEMBER THOSE DAYS WHEN THE ECONOMY SHUT DOWN FOR A

我們都還記得那些經濟停滯不前的日子。

YEAR.

年。

WE COULDN'T HUG OUR GRANDPARENTS FOR MONTHS, AND BARACK OBAMA

我們不能擁抱我們的祖父母幾個月，而巴拉克-奧巴馬。

WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE MY PILLOW GUY.

不會閉嘴的我的枕頭的傢伙。

THEN CAPTAIN PENCE BLASTED OFF TO PLANET "WHAT IF."

然後彭斯船長就飛到了 "萬一 "星球上。

>> IF THE SWINE FLU HAD BEEN AS LETHAL AS THE CORONAVIRUS IN

>> 如果豬流感和冠狀病毒一樣具有致命性，那麼，我們就會發現它的存在。

2009, WHEN JOE BIDEN WAS VICE PRESIDENT, WE WOULD HAVE LOST

2009年，當喬-比登擔任副主席時，我們已經失去了。

TWO MILLION AMERICAN LIVES.

兩百萬美國人的生命。

>> Stephen: AND IF THE "TITANIC" HAD BEEN SHOT OUT OF A

>> 史蒂芬：如果 "泰坦尼克 "號被射出去了呢？

CATAPULT INSTEAD OF PUSHED INTO THE SEA, IT COULD HAVE COLLIDED

飛彈沒有被推入海中，而是可能會發生碰撞。

WITH THE HIDDEN BERG, KILLING BILLIONS.

與隱藏的伯格，殺死數十億人。

ON THE SUBJECT OF CLIMATE CHANGE, PENCE MADE ANOTHER

關於氣候變化問題，彭斯又發表了一次講話。

HOLLOW PROMISE.

遵守承諾。

>> WE'RE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF OUR ENVIRONMENT AND FOLLOW THE

>> 我們要照顧我們的環境，並遵循我們的環境。

OUR CIENCE. MENT AND FOLLOW THE >> Stephen: WE WILL FOLLOW IT,

我們的經驗。MENT和跟隨>> 斯蒂芬：我們會跟隨它。

AND ONCE IT IS ASLEEP, WE WILL SMOTHER IT WITH A PILLOW.

一旦它睡著了，我們就用枕頭把它捂起來。

IT WILL LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.

它將看起來像一個事故。

THIS MUCH I SWEAR.

這一點我發誓。

THEN PENCE THREW THIS HAIL MARY.

然後彭斯就把這個萬福瑪麗扔了出去。

>> "NEWSWEEK" MAGAZINE SAID THAT KAMALA HARRIS WAS THE MOST

>> "NEWSWEEK "雜誌說卡馬拉-哈里斯是最重要的。

LIBERAL MEMBER OF THE UNITED STATES SENATE IN 2019, MORE

2019年美國參議院自由黨議員，更多內容

LIBERAL THAN BERNIE SANDERS.

比伯尼桑德斯更自由。

>> Stephen: WHAT!

>> Stephen:什麼！

MORE LIBERAL THAN ME?

比我更自由？

IN 2019 I WAS ONE OF THE TOP 2% OF THE TOP 1% OF THE MOST

2019年，我是前2%的最強者之一。

LIBERAL PEOPLE IN THE SENATE.

參議院中的自由派人士。

ANYWAY, THAT'S MY TWO CENTS, WHICH I BELIEVE SHOULD BE TAXED

無論如何，這就是我的兩分錢，我認為應該徵稅。

AT 80%.

在80%。

I MISS HIM.

我想念他。

( LAUGHTER ) I MISS DOING THAT GUY.

（笑）我想念做那個傢伙。

HARRIS EXPLAINED JOE'S THEORY OF INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY.

哈里斯解釋了喬伊的國際外交理論。

>> I LOVE TALKING WITH JOE ABOUT A LOT OF THESE ISSUES.

>> 我喜歡和喬談論很多這些問題。

AND, YOU KNOW, JOE, I THINK HE SAID IT QUITE WELL.

而且，你知道，喬，我想他說得很好。

HE SAID, "FOREIGN POLICY MIGHT SOUND COMPLICATED, BUT REALLY

他說："外交政策聽起來似乎很複雜，但實際上......"。

IT'S RELATIONSHIPS."

它的關係。"

>> Stephen: OKAY, RELATIONSHIPS SO I'M SUPPOSED TO

>> Stephen:好吧，關係，所以我應該是。

MAKE GERMANY SIGN PREUP IN, CHEAT ON IT WITH A PORN STAR AND

讓德國的標誌預熱，欺騙它與色情明星和。

THEN ANOTHER COUNTRY WITH BIGGER ALPSTRUMP'S TERRIBLE ATTITUDE

然後是另一個國家，有更大的愛普生的可怕的態度。

TOWARDS AMERICAN SERVICE MEMBER AND HIS REFUSAL TO STAND UP FOR

對美國軍人和他拒絕站出來的行為的看法

THEM AGAINST VLADIMIR PUTIN.

他們反對弗拉基米爾-普京，

>> PUBLIC REPORTING THAT THEY HAD BOUNTIES ON THE HEADS OF

>> 公開報告說，他們的頭頂上有獵物。

AMERICAN SOLDIERS.

美國士兵：

DO YOU KNOW WHAT A BOUNTY IS.

你知道什麼是 "郡 "嗎？

>> Stephen: I KNOW WHAT A BOUNTY IS.

>> 我知道什麼是村莊。

IT'S A DAMN GOOD PAPER TOWEL TO THROW AT HURRICANE SURVIVORS.

這是個很好的紙塔，可以扔給颶風的倖存者。

HOW MANY POINTS DO I GET?

我可以得到多少分？

IT WASN'T AS BAD AS LAST WEEK, THE DEBATE, I MEAN, BECAUSE,

我的意思是，它沒有上週那麼糟糕，辯論，因為：

WELL, FIRST, WHAT COULD BE.

好吧，首先，可能是什麼。

BUT IT BEARS REPEATING THAT MIKE PENCE WOULD ALSO NOT OBEY THE

但值得重申的是，邁克-彭斯也會不遵守法律。

TIME LIMITS.

時間限制：

NOW MATTER HOW MANY TIMES SUSAN PAGE POLITELY ASKED HIM TO.

現在不管蘇珊-佩奇在政治上要求他多少次，。

>> VICE PRESIDENT, PENCE.

>> 副主席，彭斯。

>> THE AMERICAN PEOPLE-- >> I DIDN'T-- DIDN'T-- VICE PRES

>> 美國人民 -- >> 我沒有 -- 沒有 -- 副總統。

PENCE, EXCUSE ME.

彭斯，對不起

>> SUSAN, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE TO KNOW.

>> 蘇珊，美國人民應該知道。

>> Stephen: SUSAN, IF YOU WANT TO MAKE MIKE PENCE SHUT UP, YOU

>> 蘇珊，如果你想讓邁克-彭斯閉嘴，你就得讓他閉嘴。

HAVE TO ASK HIM TO SAY "BLACK LIVES MATTER.

必須問他說："黑人的生活很重要。

NOW, SENATOR HARRIS LANDED SOME BLOWS, AND MIKE PENCE DODGED AND

現在，哈里斯參議員被打了幾下，而邁克-彭斯躲開了，然後...

PARRIED.

PARRIED。

BUT ULTIMATELY TRVINGS A VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE.

但最終還是出現了一個副總統辯論。

AND THERE'S A LIMIT TO JUST HOW INTERESTING-- OH, MY GOD!

有一個限制，只是多麼有趣 - 哦，我的上帝！

LOOK AT HIS HAIR!

看看他的頭髮！

HE'S SO FULL OF CRAP, HE'S ATTRACTING FLIES!

他滿嘴胡話，他在吸引蒼蠅！

I-- GOD BLESS YOU, FLY.

我 -- 上帝保佑你，飛翔。

I GUESS THE PLEXIGLASS WASN'T HIGH ENOUGH.

我猜測PLEXIGLASS不夠高。

BUT, LISTEN, LISTEN, ALL JOKES ASIDE, THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS TO

但是，聽著，聽著，所有的笑話之外，思想和祈禱，以

THAT FLY'S FAMILY.

那隻蒼蠅的家人。

IT'S GOT TO QUARANTINE FOR TWO WEEKS NOW.

它必須量化兩個星期了。

WE'VE GOT TO GET THAT FLY TO WALTER REED.

我們得把那隻蒼蠅送到沃爾特・裡德那裡去。

THEN MINUTES LATER THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT A VERY IMPORTANT

然後幾分鐘後，他們在談論一個非常重要的事情

ISSUE BUT I MISSED THE WHOLE THING BECAUSE THE FLY WAS STILL

但我錯過了整個事件，因為蒼蠅還在。

ON MIKE PENCE'S HEAD.

在邁克-彭斯的頭上。

AND IT STAYED THERE FOR OVER TWO MINUTES!

它停留在那裡超過兩分鐘!

TWO MINUTES.

兩分鐘。

MEANING THAT FLY HAS A LONGER ATTENTION SPAN THE PRESIDENT OF

意思是說，蒼蠅的注意力範圍比總統的長。

THE UNITED STATES.

美國：

THAT'S A LONG TIME FOR A FLY.

這是一個很長的時間為一飛沖天。

IT MADE LIFE THERE.

它讓生活在那裡。

IT JOINED SOUL CYCLE!

它加入了SOUL CYCLE！

YOU KNOW, IT MIXED THE BARS.

你知道，它把酒吧混在一起了。

IT CHANGED ITS VOTER REGISTRATION TO MIKE PENCE'S

它把它的選民登記改為邁克-彭斯的。

HEAD.

頭。

NOW, REMEMBER LAST WEEK WHEN TRUMP WOULDN'T DISAVOW, YOU

現在，記得上個星期，當特朗普不願放棄時，你...

KNOW, HATE GROUPS.

知道了，討厭的群體。

WELL, MIKE PENCE TONIGHT, DENIED THAT TRUMP IS A WHITE

米克-彭斯今晚否認了特朗普是白人的說法

SUPREMACIST BY POINTING THIS OUT:

通過指出這一點，至上主義。

>> PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS JEWISH GRANDCHILDREN.

>> 特朗普總統有猶太裔孫子。

>> Stephen: AND FURTHERMORE, SUSAN, I WANT TO POINT OUT THAT

>> 史蒂芬：還有，蘇珊，我想指出的是

I HAVE A BLACK FRIEND-- BY WHICH I MEAN THIS FLY ON MY HEAD.

我有一個黑人朋友... 我的意思是說，這飛在我頭上。

( LAUGHTER ) SOMEHOW, PENCE TRIED TO CLOSE BY

某種程度上來說，彭斯試圖通過關閉

PAINTING HIMSELF AS THE UNITY CANDIDATE.

把自己畫成團結的候選人。

>> HERE IN AMERICA, WE CAN DISAGREE.

>> 在美國，我們可以不同意。

WE CAN DEBATE VIGOROUSLY AS SENATOR HARRIS AND I HAVE ON

我們可以像哈里斯議員和我一樣，積極地進行辯論。

THIS STAGE TONIGHT.

今晚這個舞臺。

BUT WHEN THE DEBATE IS OVER, WE COME TOGETHER AS AMERICANS.

但當辯論結束後，我們作為美國人走到一起。

>> Stephen: NO, DON'T COME TOGETHER!

>> Stephen:不，不要一起來！

STAY AWAY!

遠離！

ESPECIALLY FROM MIKE PENCE.

特別是邁克-彭斯的作品。

THE WHITE HOUSE IS A HOT ZONE!

白宮是一個熱區！

SPEAKING OF WHICH, THERE'S STILL SO MUCH WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT HOW

說到這裡，我們還有很多不知道的東西，關於如何...

AND WHEN TRUMP CONTRACTED COVID.

當特朗普與科維德簽約時，

ONE EARLY SIGN OF INFECTION IS LOSS OF SMELL AND TASTE.

感染的一個早期跡象是氣味和味道的喪失。

BUT HOW COULD YOU TELL HE LOST HIS TASTE WHEN HE NEVER HAD ANY?

但是，你怎麼能告訴他失去了他的味道，而他從來沒有任何味道？

AND IT'S ESPECIALLY TROUBLING THAT THE WHITE HOUSE WON'T SAY

特別是白宮不說，這很麻煩

WHEN TRUMP'S LAST NEGATIVE CORONAVIRUS TEST WAS.

當特朗普的最後一次陰性冠狀病毒測試是：

"I WOULD LOVE TO RELEASE MY TESTS, BUT MY NOSTRILS ARE UNDER

"我很想公佈我的測試結果，但我的鼻樑骨被壓壞了。

AUDIT."

審計。"

THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE NEGATIVE TEST CAN HELP CONTACT

這一點很重要，因為消極的測試可以幫助聯繫。

TRACERS DETERMINE EXACTLY WHO WAS EXPOSED AND WHEN.

追蹤器確定誰在何時被曝光。

SO TODAY, REPORTERS PUSHED WHITE HOUSE FLACK BRIAN MORGENSTERN

所以今天，記者們推送了白宮的黑客布蘭-摩根斯坦恩的消息

FOR AN ANSWER.

對於一個答案。

>> OBVIOUSLY, YOU KNOW WHEN HE LAST TESTED NEGATIVE.

>> 顯然，你知道他最後一次測試是陰性的時候。

WHY WON'T-- >> I DON'T KNOW WHEN HE LAST

為什麼不... 我不知道他什麼時候死的。

TESTED NEGATIVE.

TESTED NEGATIVE.

I ANSWERED THIS QUESTION A NUMBER OF TIMES.

我回答了這個問題的次數。

>> THE WHITE HOUSE KNOWS WHEN HE LAST HAD A NEGATIVE TEST.

>> 白宮知道他最後一次做陰性測試的時間。

WHY CAN'T THE WHITE HOUSE SAY WHEN HE LAST TESTED NEGATIVE?

為什麼白宮不能說他最後一次測試是陰性？

>> LOOK, WE'VE ADDRESSED THIS.

>> 看，我們已經解決了這個問題。

WE'RE NOT ASKING TO GO BACK THROUGH A BUNCH OF RECORDS AND

我們不要求去翻閱大量的唱片，並。

LOOK BACKWARDS.

向後看。

>> Stephen: WE DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THROUGH A BUNCH OF OLD

>> Stephen:我們不想再去翻閱一些舊的東西了

RECORDS.

記錄：

THOSE THINGS ARE SLATHERED WITH COVID.

這些東西都是用COVID塗抹的。

NOW, THE SITUATION IS RAISING MORE QUESTIONS THAN THE WHITE

現在，這種情況引發的問題比白宮還多。

HOUSE IS REFUSING TO ANSWER.

眾議院拒絕回答。

FIRST UP, THE WHITE HOUSE'S CLAIM THAT TRUMP WAS THE MOST

首先，白宮稱特朗普是最偉大的。

TESTED MAN IN AMERICA.

美國的測試者。

AND, YET, THEY CAN'T PRODUCE HIS LAST NEGATIVE.

而且，他們無法生產他最後的負數。

THAT'S LED TO-- SOME TO LOOK FOR A MORE SINISTER EXPLANATION.

這導致了... ... 一些人去尋找一個更罪孽深重的解釋。

ACCORDING TO JAKE TAPPER, WHITE HOUSE OFFICIALS BELIEVE TRUMP

據JAKE TAPPER稱，白宮官員相信特魯姆普

WAS INFECTED AT THE EVENT FOR JUDGE BARRETT ON SATURDAY,

在週六巴雷特法官的活動中被感染。

SEPTEMBER 26.

9月26日。

WHICH REMINDS ME OF THIS WISE QUOTE FROM RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

這讓我想起了RUTH BADER GINSBURG的這句話。

"PAYBACK'S A BITCH."

"還錢是個婊子。"

THEN-- SOUNDED BETTER WHEN SHE SAID IT.

然後... ... 聽起來更好 當她說出來。

( LAUGHTER ) THEN TAPPER-- HELLO, JAKE--

然後TAPPER -- 你好，JAKE --

TAPPER NOTES THAT THEY WON'T RELEASE TRUMP'S NEGATIVE TEST,

塔佩爾指出，他們不會公佈特朗普的負面測試。

RAISING QUESTIONS AS TO WHETHER HE WAS TESTED AT ALL BETWEEN

提出關於他是否在兩個月內接受過測試的問題。

INFECTION AND THE DEBATE TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29.

感染和辯論 9月29日，星期二。

THAT MEANS HE COULD HAVE KNOWINGLY TRIED TO GIVE BIDEN

這意味著他可能會明知故犯地試圖給比登。

COVID.

COVID：

HE'S GONE FROM "I COULD SHOOT SOMEONE ON FIFTH AVENUE" TO "I

他從 "我可以在第五大道開槍打人 "變成了 "我可以在第五大道開槍打人"。

AM DEATH COME UPON A PALE HORSE.

我是死神降臨在一匹蒼白的馬身上。

JOE, LET ME LICK YOUR EYEBALL."

喬，讓我舔你的眼球。"

PREDICTABLY, CORONAVIRUS HAS BEEN TEARING THROUGH THE WHITE

可以預見的是，冠狀病毒已經撕破了白種人的臉。

HOUSE FASTER THAN MONO IN A HIGH SCHOOL PRODUCTION OF "GUYS AND

房子快於單聲道在高中製作的 "男孩和"。

DOLLS," INCLUDE TRUMP SENIOR ADVISER, AND GUY ON A SUBWAY,

娃娃，"包括特朗普高級顧問，和地鐵上的人。