TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW," I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD WEEKEND.

致 "遲到的，遲到的節目"，我希望你們週末過得愉快。

WE ARE ALL IN A GOOD MOOD IN HERE.

我們都在一個良好的心情在這裡。

WE WERE JUST MISSING-- I MEAN I REALIZE, I THINK SOME DAYS I

我們只是錯過了... ... 我的意思是，我意識到，我想有些日子我... ...

THINK YOU FEEL LEAK YOU WANT TO KNOW, WE WERE JUST LISTENING TO

你以為你感覺到了洩漏，你想知道，我們只是在聽。

WHITNEY HOUSTON.

惠特尼-休斯頓：

I GET SO EMOTIONAL BABY.

我得到這麼情緒化的寶貝。

♪ EVERY-- THAT'S I STARTED TOO HIGH.

每一個 - 這就是我開始太高。

>> THAT'S ON ME, THAT'S MY BAD.

>> 這是我的，這是我的壞。

I WAS SO EMOTIONAL BABY.

我是如此情緒化的寶貝。

♪ WE HAVE A FUN SHOW TONIGHT.

我們有一個有趣的節目今晚。

LATER ON THE INCREDIBLE BRYAN KRANSTON WILL BE STOPPING BY, A

稍後，不可思議的布賴恩-克蘭斯頓會來這裡

PERFORMANCE BY DECLAN McKENNA.

迪克蘭-麥肯納的表演。

STICK AROUND FOR THAT.

堅持下去。

REGGIE, IT WAS WARM THIS WEEKEND.

REGGIE，這個週末很暖和。

HOW ARE YOU IN THE HEAT?

你是如何在熱？

>> Reggie: YOU KNOW, I HAVE A WARD THING WITH HEAT, I USED TO

>> 你知道嗎，我有一個有暖氣的病房，我以前用過。

WEAR SWEATERS ALL THE TIME.

穿著運動鞋所有的時間。

AND I THINK I BURNED OUT MY THERMOSTAT OR SOMETHING BECAUSE

我想我燒壞了我的溫控器或什麼東西，因為。

I DON'T-- I DON'T SENSE IT WHEN IT IS HOT UNLESS I'M IN THE SUN

我不... 除非我在陽光下，否則我感覺不到它的熱度

AND IT IS MELTING, SEARING ME, SO I AM IN THE SHADE, PEOPLE ARE

它在融化，在尋找我，所以我在陰影中，人們在...

LUKE IT'S SO HOT, I'M LUKE IS IT?

LUKE，這麼熱，我是LUKE，是嗎？

I DON'T KNOW.

我不知道。

IS THAT THE ANSWER?

這就是答案嗎？

>> James: AND THAT'S THE LEVEL, THAT'S WHERE WE ARE AT.

>> 詹姆斯。這就是水準，這就是我們所處的位置。

SOME SORT OF INCITE, YOU CAN'T GET ANY ARE.

某種程度上的煽動，你不能得到任何是。

IT WAS WARM THOUGH.

它是溫暖的，但。

IT WAS 100, I THINK IT WAS 130 DEGREES IN DEATH VALLEY, WHICH

它是100，我認為它是130度 在死亡谷，這一點。

IS APPARENTLY THE HIGHEST TEMPERATURE ON EARTH IN OVER A

似乎是地球上溫度最高的地方。

CENTURY.

百年。

>> Reggie: WHOA.

>> 雷吉：哇。

>> James: SO YEAH, IT TERMS OUT THINGS CAN GET WORSE.

>> 詹姆斯。所以是的，它的條款出來 事情可以變得更糟。

130 DEGREES.

130度。

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT NOTHING COULD MAKE A PLACE CALLED DEATH

當你覺得沒有什麼能讓一個地方叫做死亡的時候。

VALLEY LESS APPEALING.

谷不美觀。

ALSO TONIGHT IT WAS THE FIRST NIGHT OF THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL

今晚也是民主黨全國代表大會的第一晚。

CONVENTION.

會議：

>> OW.

>> OW。

>> James: WHY IS THERE MORE THAN ONE NIGHT OF THE

>> 詹姆斯。為什麼會有超過一個晚上的時間？

CONVENTION, IT'S NOT A BACHELOR FINALE.

儀式，這不是一個學士的結局。

WHAT DO WE NEED?

我們需要什麼？

IT SHOULD BE HALF AN HOUR TOPS, ISN'T IT?

應該是半小時以上，對吧？

IT SHOULD BE I'M GENTLEMEN BIDEN, SHE'S KAMALA HARRIS, IF

應該是我是比登先生，她是卡馬拉-哈里斯，如果：

YOU ARE STILL UNDECIDED AT THIS POINT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL

你現在還沒決定，我不知道該說什麼。

YOU.

你。

STAY TUNED FOR THE LOCAL NEWS.

請繼續關注當地新聞。

THAT IS THE CONVENTION.

這就是慣例。

IT SHOULD BE A QUIBI.

它應該是一個QUIBI。

pIT SHOULD BE ON QUIBI.

坑應該是在QUIBI。

THAT'S-- THIS YEAR OF COURSE THE CONVENTION IS COMPLETELY VIRTUAL

那是... 今年的大會完全是虛擬的。

WHICH WILL BE SAFER BUT IT DOES MEAN WE ARE WILL MISS INCREDIBLE

這將是更安全的，但它意味著我們將錯過巨大的。

SPONTANEOUS MOMENTS LIKE THE TIME BILL CLINTON SAW BALLOONS

SPONTANEOUS MOMENTS LIKE THE TIME BILL CLINTON SAW BALLOON SAW BALLON

FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

第一次。

(LAUGHTER).

(笑)：

>> James: HE'S LIKE WHAT IS THIS?

>> 詹姆斯。他喜歡這是什麼？

WHAT IS IN THESE THINGS.

這些東西里有什麼？

HOW DO THEY GET THE AIR IN THERE?

他們是怎麼把空氣弄進去的？

SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP.

閉上[BLEEP]了。

IT'S NOT JUST POLITICIANS THAT WILL BE FEATURED AT THE DNC.

不僅僅是政治家們會在DNC上亮相。

ACCORDING TO THE SCHEDULE BILLIE EILISH WILL BE PERFORMING AS

根據日程表，BILLIE EILISH將以下列身份表演

EILISH WILL ILL JOHN LEGEND.

EILISH WILL ILL JOHN LEGEND。

YEAH, MEANWHILE THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION IS GOING TO FEATURE

是的，也就是說，共和黨的大會將有一個特色

KID ROCK, KID ROCK AND ALSO KID ROCK.

小孩搖滾，小孩搖滾，也小孩搖滾。

BIDEN'S TRYING TO APPEAL TO YOUNGER VOTERS BY INVITING

比登試圖通過邀請年輕的選民來吸引他們。

BILLIE EILISH TO PERFORM.

BILLIE EILISH表演。

HE ISN'T STOP THERE, HE ALREADY CHANGED HIS HAIR TO LOOk LIKE

他還不止於此，他已經把他的頭髮換成了像...

THIS.

這。

HAS EVERYBODY BEEN FOLLOWING THIS POST OFFICE CONTROVERSY?

大家都在關注這起郵局糾紛嗎？

IAN, ARE YOU UP ON THIS?

IAN，你在這上面嗎？

>> OH YEAH, I'VE BEEN ON IT LIKE A STAMP ON AN ENVELOPE THAT HAS

>> 哦，是的，我一直在它像一個印章上的信封，有

TAKEN THREE WEEKS LONGER THAN YOU HOPED IT WOULD TAKE.

比你預期的時間長了三週。

>> James: WHETHER IS THE HARDY3 TAKE.

>> 詹姆斯。是否是HARDY3 TAKE。

>> I SEE IT IN SOLIDARITY WITH ALL OF MY COMRADES WHO WEAR

>> 我和我所有的朋友們都看到了它的真實性，他們都穿上了。

SHORTS TO WORK NO MATTER WHAT.

短褲工作不管是什麼。

>> James: THAT IS TRUE.

>> 詹姆斯。那是真的。

IT COULD BE SNOWING OUTSIDE, YOU WOULD WEAR SHORTS AND THEN

可能外面在下雪，你會穿上短褲，然後... ...

PROBABLY A BIG DUFFLE COAT.

可能是一件大絨毛外套。

>> YEAH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

>> 是的，是的，絕對是的。

I WOULD LOOK OBSCENE, IT WOULD LIKE LIKE I WAS ABOUT TO FLASH

我會看起來很奇怪，就像我要閃閃發光一樣。

SOMEBODY BUT THE TRUTH IS I JUST HAVE HOT CALFS, HOT CALFS.

有些人，但事實是 我只是有熱的小腿，熱的小腿。

>> James: THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL YOU, HOT CALFS CARMEL.

>> 詹姆斯。這就是他們對你的稱呼，熱犢子卡爾梅爾。

>> SINCE WAY BACK, I'VE BEEN HOLD CALFS SINCE WAY BACK.

>> 從很久以前開始，我就一直持有卡路里，從很久以前開始。

>> James: I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH, THAT'S THE LEVEL.

>> 詹姆斯。我不能強調足夠的，這就是水準。

DEMOCRATS ARE WORRIED ABOUT COST-CUTTING MEASURES THAT MIGHT

民主黨人擔心削減成本的措施可能會導致

HARM MAIL-IN VOTING FOR THE ELECTION.

為選舉進行有害的郵寄投票。

SO HOUSE SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI IS CALLING HOUSE MEMBERS BACK FROM

所以，眾議院發言人NANCY PELOSI正在召集眾議院議員們從。

THEIR SUMMER BREAK TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE.

暑假期間解決這一問題。

IT HAPPENED SO FAST THEY DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO CHANGE OUT OF THEIR

事情發生得太快了，他們根本來不及換掉自己的衣服。

VACATION CLOTHES.

度假服裝：

(LAUGHTER) I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE FUNNIER.

我覺得這樣會更有趣。

DID YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE FUNNIER, ROB.

你覺得這樣會更有趣嗎，羅伯？

>> THEY KEPT SAYING, WE ARE STILL WORKING ON THAT TRAFFIC.

>> 他們一直說，我們還在努力的交通。

-- GRAPHIC, I WAS LIKE OH, IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT, SHOW IT

- 圖形，我想哦，這將是偉大的，顯示出來。

AGAIN.

再一次。

>> IF IS AMAZING IT GETS LESS FUNNY EVERY TIME YOU SEE IT.

>> 如果是驚人的，它得到了少的樂趣，每次你看到它。

>> BIG BUILDUP.

>>大BUILDUP。

>> ONE MORE TIME?

>> 再來一次？

>> ELSEWHERE IN WASHINGTON DID YOU SEE THIS, PRESIDENT TRUMP

>> 在華盛頓的其他地方你看到了嗎，特朗普總統？

GOT A FROSTY RECEPTION WHILE USING AIR FORCE ONE YESTERDAY

今天在使用空軍一號的時候，受到了冰冷的歡迎。

BUT IT WASN'T FROM AN ANGRY CROWD.

但它不是來自憤怒的人群。

HAVE A LOOK AT THIS.

看看這個。

>> .

>> .

>> OH MAN.

>> 哦，夥計。

>> James: BRUTAL, BRUTAL.

>> 詹姆斯。BRUTAL，BRUTAL。

SHE'S LIKE HOLD YOUR HAND, HAVE I SEEN YOU ON-- IF YOU GO, WE

她就像牽著你的手，我見過你... ... 如果你走了，我們...

ALL GO.

所有去。

I WILL SAY, AT LEAST SOMEONE IN WHITE HOUSE IS FOLLOWING CDC

我要說的是，至少白宮裡有人聽從了疾控中心的命令。

GUIDE LINES DURING THIS PANDEMIC.

指南線期間，這個PANDEMIC。

THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU, IAN?

你有過這樣的經歷嗎，伊安？

>> NO, WHEN I GO INTO THE HAND HOLD THAT CHECK CLEARS EVERY

>> 不，當我進入手握住那張支票時，每一次都會清空。

TIME.

時間。

>> James: WHO ARE YOU TODAY?

>> 詹姆斯。你今天是誰？

>> EVERY TIME.

>> 每一次。

>> James: WHAT HAPPENED.

>> 詹姆斯。發生了什麼。

>> I GOT A WINDBREAKER ON, IT'S A NEW ME.

>> 我打開了一個破風器，這是一個新的我。

>> James: IT'S THE HOT KAFLS.

>> 詹姆斯。這是熱卡夫斯。

>> MELANIA WAS LIKE MY MUM WHEN I USED TO GO INTO DRAMA CLUB

>> 梅蘭妮亞就像我的媽媽，當我去戲劇俱樂部的時候。

WHEN I WAS LIKE 12.

當我12歲的時候

DON'T HOLD MY HAND.

不要握住我的手。

NO, WAIT IN-- EVERYBODY ELSE'S MUM WAITS IN THE CAR.

不，等在... ... 每個人的媽媽都在車裡等著。

YOU'RE EMBARRASSING-- HEY GUYS.

你是令人尷尬的 - 嘿，夥計們。

NOW I HAVE SOME SAD NEWS TO SHARE.

現在我有一些悲傷的消息要告訴大家。

PIZZERIAS ARE REPORTING A DUE TO DEMAND DURING THE PANDEMIC THEY

比薩餅店的報告是由於在他們的需求期間的需求。

ARE FACING A SEVERE SHORTAGE OF CHEESE AND PEPPERONI.

正面臨著嚴重的短缺 奶酪和胡椒粉。

THIS IS MY BAD.

這是我的壞。

I DO FEEL RESPONSIBLEMENT AND I WILL SAY THIS, TO THE DEMOCRATIC

我確實覺得有責任，我也會這樣說，對民主黨人說。

NATIONAL CONVENTION, YOUR SILENCE ON THIS ISSUE TONIGHT IS

全國大會，你今晚在這個問題上的沉默是：

DEAFENING.

防範：

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

（歡呼聲和掌聲）：

>> James: YEAH, SOMEONE SAID IT.

>> 詹姆斯。是的，有人說了。

A SHORTAGE OF CHEESE AND PEPPERONI.

奶酪和胡椒粉的短缺。

THIS COULD BE THE NEWS THAT FINALLY MAKES DONALD TRUMP TAKE

這可能是最終讓唐納德-特朗普接受的新聞。

THE PANDEMIC SERIOUSLY.

PANDEMIC認真。

BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY SHORTAGE.

但這並不是唯一的缺憾。

THERE ARE ALSO SHORTAGES, THERE IS A SHORTAGE OF CLOROX WIPES

也有短缺，有一個短缺的CLOROX溼巾。

AND THEY SAID THAT SHORTAGE MAY LAST UNTIL SOMETIME NEXT YEAR.

而他們說，短缺可能會持續到明年某個時候。

A CLOROX SPOKESMAN SAYS THE ENTIRE SUPPLY CHAIN IS STRESSED.

CLOROX發言人說，整個供應鏈都很緊張。

I MEAN GET IN LINE.

我的意思是得到的線。

WE'RE ALL STRESSED AND YET HERE WE ARE ABSOLUTELY NAILING OUR

我們都有壓力，但在這裡，我們絕對是釘我們的。

JOBS. YOU WANT TO SEE HOW MUCH WE'RE NAILING OUR JOBS?

工作機會： 你想知道我們的工作有多少錢嗎？

TAKE A LOOK AT HOW FUNNY THIS PHOTO IS.

看看這張照片有多有趣。

THAT'S HOW MUCH WE ARE NAILING IT.

這就是我們正在釘住它的程度。

THE BREAKFAST DEPARTMENT CAN'T EVEN PULL IT UP BECAUSE THES ARE

早餐部甚至不能把它拉起來，因為這些是

PROBABLY ON EL SEGUFDO.

可能是在EL SEGUFDO。

>> STAND BY.

>> 待命。

>>ARY'S STANDING BY.

>>瑪麗的立場：

THAT PHOTO IS [BLEEP].

那張照片是[嗶]。

YOU DON'T WORRY, WE'VE GOT THREE MORE BRILLIANT-- COMING RIGHT

別擔心，我們還有三部精彩的... ...馬上就來。

UP.

上升。

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL 2021.

你不必等到2021年。

A BUNCH OF NEW BRANDS OF BEING INTRODUCED TO FILL THE VOID LEFT

一批新品牌的推出，填補了空缺。

BY CLOROX SUCH AS WET PAPER TOWELS.

CLOROX公司的溼紙巾等。

THIS ONE, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BLEECH.

這一個，我不能相信它不是BLEECH。

AND FINALLY THIS ONE, YOUR MUM'S SALIVA ON A TISSUE FROM HER

最後這一張，你媽媽的薩利瓦在她的皮膚上。

POCKET.

POCKET：

THANKS GUYS, WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

謝謝你們，我們下週見。

GOOD NIGHT.

晚安

IT DOES FEEL NICE TO BE BACK IN THE STUDIO THOUGH, I MEAN THIS

回到工作室的感覺真好，我是說這個。

IS THE SAME STUFF I WAS DOING IN THE GARAGE, IMAGINE HOW DE

是同樣的事情，我在車庫裡做的， 想象一下，如何德。

PRESSING THAT WAS.

壓的是。