I mean, we're back in the studio.

我的意思是，我們又回到了工作室。

We're live tonight, which is cool,

我們今晚是直播，這很酷。

but there's barely anyone here.

但這裡幾乎沒有人。

It's a little weird.

這是一個有點奇怪的。

-I know, man, it's like, we're getting back to normal.

-我知道，夥計，這就像，我們正在恢復正常。

But at the same time, not at all.

但同時，也完全沒有。

-Yeah, exactly.

-是的，沒錯

But you know the one thing I would love

但你知道我最喜歡的是什麼嗎？

more than anything?

比什麼都重要？

Is to have a guest in person.

是要親自請客。

I miss talking to someone in person.

我很懷念與人交談的日子

-Yeah, man, I know what you're saying.

-是的，夥計，我知道你在說什麼。

I just miss being in the same room with other people,

我只是懷念和別人同處一室的感覺。

you know? -Right?

你知道嗎？-對嗎？

-What's up, John? -Hey, Jimmy, what's up?

怎麼了，約翰？ - 嘿，吉米，怎麼了？-嘿，吉米，怎麼了？

[ Both screaming ]

[兩個尖叫]

[ Bouncy theme music playing ]

[彈力主題音樂播放]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Live from Rockefeller Center in the heart of New York City,

-在紐約市中心的洛克菲勒中心直播。

it's "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon."

這是 "吉米-法倫主演的今夜秀"。

Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests

今天晚上，請你和吉米以及他的嘉賓一起

John Cena,

約翰-塞納

musical guest BTS,

音樂嘉賓BTS。

and featuring the Legendary Roots Crew.

並由傳說中的 "根基 "團隊參與。

♪♪

♪♪

And now here's your host -- Jimmy Fallon.

現在有請主持人吉米-法倫 And now here's your host - - Jimmy Fallon.

♪♪

♪♪

-Get it!

-明白了！

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-Oh!

-哦！

Yes! Hello!

是的！

Thank you very much. Welcome to "The Tonight Show."

謝謝你，非常感謝歡迎來到 "今夜秀"。

You guys, we are live right now.

夥計們，我們現在正在直播。

We are live from New York City! [ Cheers and applause ]

我們是來自紐約市的直播！[歡呼聲和掌聲]

And man, what the hell was that...

還有，那到底是什麼... ...

debate? Was that debate?

辯論？那是辯論嗎？

What did we -- I am so --

我們... 我很...

What was that?

那是什麼？

I am so stressed right now.

我現在壓力好大。

I have a kink. It just --

我有一個糾結。它只是...

I felt like I just slept on an air mattress.

我感覺自己就像睡在一個氣墊上。

Just one of those kinks that just --

只是其中的一個糾結，只是 -

I got to get psyched.

我得到了psyched。

We do have a great show tonight.

我們今晚有一場精彩的演出。

John Cena is here in the studio. [ Cheers and applause ]

約翰塞納是在這裡的工作室。[歡呼聲和掌聲]

First live guest in the studio,

演播室的第一位現場嘉賓。

John Cena, we love him.

約翰-塞納，我們愛他。

Also, we have music from BTS every single...

另外，我們有BTS的音樂，每一個... ...

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

...night this week, we're having some performance

...這周的晚上，我們有一些性能的。

from BTS, it's gonna be good.

從BTS，它會是好的。

I'm actually pumped. I am so amped right now,

其實我是被打動了。我現在太興奮了。

President Trump demanded I take a drug test.

特朗普總統要求我做藥檢。

That's how... [ Laughter ]

這就是如何...[笑聲]

Well, guys, tonight in Cleveland,

好了，夥計們，今晚在克利夫蘭。

it was the first presidential debate

這是第一次總統辯論

between President Trump and Vice President Joe Biden.

特朗普總統和副總統拜登之間。

And boy, wasn't that fun?

孩子，是不是很好玩？

Seriously, did anyone take anything away from tonight?

說真的，有人從今晚得到了什麼嗎？

Was that helpful to any American?

這對美國人有幫助嗎？

The only person enjoyed that was Vladimir Putin

唯一享受到這一點的是弗拉基米爾-普京

while he was stroking a cat.

當他在撫摸一隻貓的時候。

"Yes. Yes, yes." [ Laughs ]

"是的，是的，是的"[笑]

Honestly, sitting through that debate felt like

老實說，坐在那場辯論中，感覺就像......。

getting a COVID test in both nostrils at once.

在兩個鼻孔中同時進行COVID測試。

I was like...

我當時想...

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Seriously, after the debate, I threw on "The Vow"

說真的，辯論結束後，我放了 "誓言"

just to pick myself up.

只是為了讓自己振作起來。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Things were tense tonight, man.

今晚的情況很緊張，夥計。

Usually when you see two guys this age arguing,

平時看到兩個這個年紀的人在爭吵。

it's about leaves blowing on each other's lawn.

這是關於葉子吹在對方的草坪上。

As expected, the debate was full of hurtful insults,

正如預期的那樣，辯論中充滿了傷害性的侮辱。

constant fighting and vicious personal attacks.

不斷的戰鬥和惡毒的人身攻擊。

Or as Americans call it, Thanksgiving.

或者像美國人所說的，感恩節。

[ Laughter ] Before the debate, Chris Wallace

辯論前，克里斯-華萊士...

said that if he does his job right,

說，如果他做好自己的工作。

it'll be like he's not there.

它會像他不存在。

Well, mission accomplished.

好了，任務完成了。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Things got really ugly.

事情變得非常醜陋。

After the debate was over, Wallace said he wants to

辯論結束後，華萊士表示，他想。

moderate something a little more civil

文縐縐

like a Real Housewives reunion or a back alley knife fight.

就像真正的主婦團聚或後巷刀戰一樣。

Tonight's debate was presented without commercials.

今晚的辯論會沒有廣告。

Yeah. The only interruptions were Trump cutting off

是啊，唯一的干擾是特朗普切斷了唯一的干擾是特朗普切斷了

Biden and Chris Wallace every eight seconds.

拜登和克里斯-華萊士每八秒就會有一次。

[ Rapid stammering ]

[快速結巴]

"No, you're allowed... [ Rapid stammering ]

"不，你可以... ...[快速結巴]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

No, you said I have to do --

不，你說我必須做 --

you have to do the -- I did what you said."

你必須做的 - 我做了你說的。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Actually tonight's debate made history.

其實今晚的辯論創造了歷史。

It was the first time Americans ever watched something on TV

這是美國人第一次在電視上看到的東西

and wished there were commercials.

並希望有商業廣告。

I need a break!

我需要休息一下！

I break! Give me a gecko. Give me something.

我崩潰了！給我一隻壁虎給我一些東西。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Things got brutal fast. Just to give you an idea,

事情很快就變得殘酷起來。只是為了給你一個概念。

this was one of the lighter moments.

這是一個輕鬆的時刻。

-All right, gentlemen --

-好了，先生們...

-Which was heavily -- -Mr. President --

-總統先生... ...

-You would have been much later, Joe.

-你會晚很多，喬。

-Mr. President -- -Much later.

總統先生 -- -- -- -- 很久以後。

Mr. President -- -You're talking about

主席先生 -- -- 你說的是什麼？

2 million people.

200萬人。

-Chris Wallace felt like a kindergarten teacher

克里斯-華萊士覺得自己像個幼兒園老師

running a class on Zoom.

在Zoom上辦班。

And the night went downhill pretty quickly.

而晚上很快就下山了。

Biden was doing everything he could to try to

拜登正竭盡所能地試圖... ...

get Trump to stop interrupting, take a look at this.

讓特朗普停止打斷，看看這個。

-Donald, would you just be quiet for a minute?

-唐納德，你能不能安靜一下？

-And you don't know her -- -Will you shut up, man?

-你又不認識她 -- - 你能不能閉嘴，夥計？

-Who was -- Listen -- -This is so unpresidential.

-誰是...

-He's gonna pack the --

-他要收拾...

-Will he just shush for a minute?

-他能不能安靜一會兒？

-After that, Biden got a standing ovation from Melania.

-之後，拜登得到了梅拉尼婭的起立鼓掌。

It's like... "Finally!

這就像..."終於！

Finally! [ Applause ]

最後！[掌聲]

Some --"

一些 --"

At that point, I was just waiting for a woman in a bikini

那時候，我只是在等一個穿比基尼的女人。

to walk out holding a sign that said "Round 2."

舉著寫著 "第二回合 "的牌子走出來。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

You know it was a rough debate when the guy who told

你知道這是一個粗糙的辯論，當誰告訴的傢伙

the president to shut up was seen as the classy candidate.

總統閉嘴被認為是優雅的候選人。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Well, the first of the night's six sections

好了，今晚六節中的第一節。

was about the Supreme Court, and it ended like this.

是關於最高法院的，結局是這樣的。

Watch this exchange.

看這個交流。

-This is so unpresidential. -He's gonna pack the Court.

-這真不是總統的作風.-他要把法庭擠爆了

-That was really a productive segment, wasn't it?

-這真是一個富有成效的部分，不是嗎？

[ Chuckling ]

[笑著]

Keep yapping, man.

繼續說，夥計。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Sadly, looking back, that was the most productive segment.

遺憾的是，回想起來，那是最有成效的一段。

After that, the debate moved on to the pandemic.

之後，爭論的焦點就轉移到了大流行病上。

Then Biden tried to hit Trump with a quick sound byte.

然後拜登試圖用一個快速的聲音字節來打擊特朗普。

Watch this.

看這個。

-When he was presented with that number,

-當他拿到這個號碼時，。

he said "It is what it is."

他說："就是這樣的。"

Well, it is what it is because you are who you are.

嗯，它是什麼，因為你是你是誰。

-Ooh.

-哦

-Even Dr. Seuss was like, "Wait, what are we talking about?"

-連蘇斯博士都說，"等等，我們在說什麼？"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

"It is what... we are -- is what you are?"

"這就是... ...我們是... ...你們是什麼？"

But Biden couldn't talk about the pandemic

但拜登不能談疫情的事

without bringing up one of Trump's

不提特朗普的

most famous gaffes. Check it out.

最著名的噱頭。看看吧。

-This is the same man... -It's all set up.

-這是同一個人... ...-都被安排好了.

-...who told you by Easter, this would be gone away.

-誰告訴你復活節前這一切都會過去的？

By the warm weather, it would be gone,

到了天氣暖和的時候，它就會消失。

miraculously, like a miracle.

奇蹟般地，像一個奇蹟。

By the way, maybe you could inject some bleach in your arm

對了，也許你可以在你的手臂上注射一些漂白劑。

and that would take care of it.

這將採取照顧它。

This is the same man. -That was said sarcastically.

這是同一個人。-這話是諷刺性的。

You know that.

你知道的

-Meanwhile, a guy injecting bleach into his arm

-與此同時，一個人把漂白劑注射到他的手臂上。

was like, "Wait, what do you mean sarcastically?"

是這樣的，"等等，你是什麼意思諷刺？"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Trump is like, "I don't inject bleach.

特朗普就像 "我不注射漂白劑。

I wear a patch and slowly absorb it all day."

我戴著貼片，慢慢吸收一整天。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

At the end of Trump's presidency, he'll just be like,

在特朗普的總統任期結束時，他就會像。

"Come on, everything I said was sarcastic.

"得了吧，我說的都是諷刺的話。

Well, just... [ Speaking indistinctly ]

嗯，只是...[說話含糊不清]

No, you said that, I...

不，你說的，我... ...

No, no, well, you said -- I said..."

不，不，好吧，你說--我說......"

Of course trump tried to fight back.

當然川普想反擊。

He really took issue with Biden using the word smart.

他對拜登使用聰明這個詞真的很有意見。

Watch this. -Unless he gets a lot smarter

看這個-除非他變得更聰明瞭。

a lot quicker -- -Mr. President?

快多了 -- -總統先生？

-Did you use the word smart?

-你用了聰明這個詞嗎？

Don't use the word smart with me.

不要用聰明這個詞來形容我。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Yep. Trump accused Biden of not being smart.

是的 -特朗普指責拜登不聰明特朗普指責拜登不聰明。

He was like, "I'm much smarter. That's how is how I got

他說："我比你聰明多了。這就是如何是我如何得到

nominated for the Taco Bell Peace Prize."

被提名為 "塔克貝爾和平獎"。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

And finally, Biden had really had enough

最後，拜登真的受夠了

and hit Trump with this insult.

並用這種侮辱打擊特朗普。

-People out there need help.

-外面的人需要幫助

-But why didn't you do it over the last 25 years?

-但為什麼你在過去的25年裡不這麼做呢？

-Because you weren't president --

-因為你不是總統... ...

-Why didn't you do it over the last 25 years?

-為什麼你在過去的25年裡不這麼做？

-Because you weren't president screwing things up.

-因為你沒有當總統，沒有把事情搞糟

-You were a Senator and -- -You're the worst president

-你曾是參議員，你是最差的總統

America has ever had. Come on.

美國有史以來。來吧。

-Oof.

-哦

Trump was like, "That's ridiculous.

特朗普當時就說："這太荒唐了。

Everyone knows I'm somewhere between

每個人都知道我是介於

George Washington and Martin Sheen."

喬治-華盛頓和馬丁-希恩。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]