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  • -Yeah, you know, things are good.

    -是的,你知道,情況很好。

  • I mean, we're back in the studio.

    我的意思是,我們又回到了工作室。

  • We're live tonight, which is cool,

    我們今晚是直播,這很酷。

  • but there's barely anyone here.

    但這裡幾乎沒有人。

  • It's a little weird.

    這是一個有點奇怪的。

  • -I know, man, it's like, we're getting back to normal.

    -我知道,夥計,這就像,我們正在恢復正常。

  • But at the same time, not at all.

    但同時,也完全沒有。

  • -Yeah, exactly.

    -是的,沒錯

  • But you know the one thing I would love

    但你知道我最喜歡的是什麼嗎?

  • more than anything?

    比什麼都重要?

  • Is to have a guest in person.

    是要親自請客。

  • I miss talking to someone in person.

    我很懷念與人交談的日子

  • -Yeah, man, I know what you're saying.

    -是的,夥計,我知道你在說什麼。

  • I just miss being in the same room with other people,

    我只是懷念和別人同處一室的感覺。

  • you know? -Right?

    你知道嗎?-對嗎?

  • -What's up, John? -Hey, Jimmy, what's up?

    怎麼了,約翰? - 嘿,吉米,怎麼了?-嘿,吉米,怎麼了?

  • [ Both screaming ]

    [兩個尖叫]

  • [ Bouncy theme music playing ]

    [彈力主題音樂播放]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • -Live from Rockefeller Center in the heart of New York City,

    -在紐約市中心的洛克菲勒中心直播。

  • it's "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon."

    這是 "吉米-法倫主演的今夜秀"。

  • Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests

    今天晚上,請你和吉米以及他的嘉賓一起

  • John Cena,

    約翰-塞納

  • musical guest BTS,

    音樂嘉賓BTS。

  • and featuring the Legendary Roots Crew.

    並由傳說中的 "根基 "團隊參與。

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • And now here's your host -- Jimmy Fallon.

    現在有請主持人吉米-法倫 And now here's your host - - Jimmy Fallon.

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • -Get it!

    -明白了!

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • -Oh!

    -哦!

  • Yes! Hello!

    是的!

  • Thank you very much. Welcome to "The Tonight Show."

    謝謝你,非常感謝歡迎來到 "今夜秀"。

  • You guys, we are live right now.

    夥計們,我們現在正在直播。

  • We are live from New York City! [ Cheers and applause ]

    我們是來自紐約市的直播![歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • And man, what the hell was that...

    還有,那到底是什麼... ...

  • debate? Was that debate?

    辯論?那是辯論嗎?

  • What did we -- I am so --

    我們... 我很...

  • What was that?

    那是什麼?

  • I am so stressed right now.

    我現在壓力好大。

  • I have a kink. It just --

    我有一個糾結。它只是...

  • I felt like I just slept on an air mattress.

    我感覺自己就像睡在一個氣墊上。

  • Just one of those kinks that just --

    只是其中的一個糾結,只是 -

  • I got to get psyched.

    我得到了psyched。

  • We do have a great show tonight.

    我們今晚有一場精彩的演出。

  • John Cena is here in the studio. [ Cheers and applause ]

    約翰塞納是在這裡的工作室。[歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • First live guest in the studio,

    演播室的第一位現場嘉賓。

  • John Cena, we love him.

    約翰-塞納,我們愛他。

  • Also, we have music from BTS every single...

    另外,我們有BTS的音樂,每一個... ...

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • ...night this week, we're having some performance

    ...這周的晚上,我們有一些性能的。

  • from BTS, it's gonna be good.

    從BTS,它會是好的。

  • I'm actually pumped. I am so amped right now,

    其實我是被打動了。我現在太興奮了。

  • President Trump demanded I take a drug test.

    特朗普總統要求我做藥檢。

  • That's how... [ Laughter ]

    這就是如何...[笑聲]

  • Well, guys, tonight in Cleveland,

    好了,夥計們,今晚在克利夫蘭。

  • it was the first presidential debate

    這是第一次總統辯論

  • between President Trump and Vice President Joe Biden.

    特朗普總統和副總統拜登之間。

  • And boy, wasn't that fun?

    孩子,是不是很好玩?

  • Seriously, did anyone take anything away from tonight?

    說真的,有人從今晚得到了什麼嗎?

  • Was that helpful to any American?

    這對美國人有幫助嗎?

  • The only person enjoyed that was Vladimir Putin

    唯一享受到這一點的是弗拉基米爾-普京

  • while he was stroking a cat.

    當他在撫摸一隻貓的時候。

  • "Yes. Yes, yes." [ Laughs ]

    "是的,是的,是的"[笑]

  • Honestly, sitting through that debate felt like

    老實說,坐在那場辯論中,感覺就像......。

  • getting a COVID test in both nostrils at once.

    在兩個鼻孔中同時進行COVID測試。

  • I was like...

    我當時想...

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Seriously, after the debate, I threw on "The Vow"

    說真的,辯論結束後,我放了 "誓言"

  • just to pick myself up.

    只是為了讓自己振作起來。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Things were tense tonight, man.

    今晚的情況很緊張,夥計。

  • Usually when you see two guys this age arguing,

    平時看到兩個這個年紀的人在爭吵。

  • it's about leaves blowing on each other's lawn.

    這是關於葉子吹在對方的草坪上。

  • As expected, the debate was full of hurtful insults,

    正如預期的那樣,辯論中充滿了傷害性的侮辱。

  • constant fighting and vicious personal attacks.

    不斷的戰鬥和惡毒的人身攻擊。

  • Or as Americans call it, Thanksgiving.

    或者像美國人所說的,感恩節。

  • [ Laughter ] Before the debate, Chris Wallace

    辯論前,克里斯-華萊士...

  • said that if he does his job right,

    說,如果他做好自己的工作。

  • it'll be like he's not there.

    它會像他不存在。

  • Well, mission accomplished.

    好了,任務完成了。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Things got really ugly.

    事情變得非常醜陋。

  • After the debate was over, Wallace said he wants to

    辯論結束後,華萊士表示,他想。

  • moderate something a little more civil

    文縐縐

  • like a Real Housewives reunion or a back alley knife fight.

    就像真正的主婦團聚或後巷刀戰一樣。

  • Tonight's debate was presented without commercials.

    今晚的辯論會沒有廣告。

  • Yeah. The only interruptions were Trump cutting off

    是啊,唯一的干擾是特朗普切斷了唯一的干擾是特朗普切斷了

  • Biden and Chris Wallace every eight seconds.

    拜登和克里斯-華萊士每八秒就會有一次。

  • [ Rapid stammering ]

    [快速結巴]

  • "No, you're allowed... [ Rapid stammering ]

    "不,你可以... ...[快速結巴]

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • No, you said I have to do --

    不,你說我必須做 --

  • you have to do the -- I did what you said."

    你必須做的 - 我做了你說的。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Actually tonight's debate made history.

    其實今晚的辯論創造了歷史。

  • It was the first time Americans ever watched something on TV

    這是美國人第一次在電視上看到的東西

  • and wished there were commercials.

    並希望有商業廣告。

  • I need a break!

    我需要休息一下!

  • I break! Give me a gecko. Give me something.

    我崩潰了!給我一隻壁虎給我一些東西。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Things got brutal fast. Just to give you an idea,

    事情很快就變得殘酷起來。只是為了給你一個概念。

  • this was one of the lighter moments.

    這是一個輕鬆的時刻。

  • -All right, gentlemen --

    -好了,先生們...

  • -Which was heavily -- -Mr. President --

    -總統先生... ...

  • -You would have been much later, Joe.

    -你會晚很多,喬。

  • -Mr. President -- -Much later.

    總統先生 -- -- -- -- 很久以後。

  • Mr. President -- -You're talking about

    主席先生 -- -- 你說的是什麼?

  • 2 million people.

    200萬人。

  • -Chris Wallace felt like a kindergarten teacher

    克里斯-華萊士覺得自己像個幼兒園老師

  • running a class on Zoom.

    在Zoom上辦班。

  • And the night went downhill pretty quickly.

    而晚上很快就下山了。

  • Biden was doing everything he could to try to

    拜登正竭盡所能地試圖... ...

  • get Trump to stop interrupting, take a look at this.

    讓特朗普停止打斷,看看這個。

  • -Donald, would you just be quiet for a minute?

    -唐納德,你能不能安靜一下?

  • -And you don't know her -- -Will you shut up, man?

    -你又不認識她 -- - 你能不能閉嘴,夥計?

  • -Who was -- Listen -- -This is so unpresidential.

    -誰是...

  • -He's gonna pack the --

    -他要收拾...

  • -Will he just shush for a minute?

    -他能不能安靜一會兒?

  • -After that, Biden got a standing ovation from Melania.

    -之後,拜登得到了梅拉尼婭的起立鼓掌。

  • It's like... "Finally!

    這就像..."終於!

  • Finally! [ Applause ]

    最後![掌聲]

  • Some --"

    一些 --"

  • At that point, I was just waiting for a woman in a bikini

    那時候,我只是在等一個穿比基尼的女人。

  • to walk out holding a sign that said "Round 2."

    舉著寫著 "第二回合 "的牌子走出來。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • You know it was a rough debate when the guy who told

    你知道這是一個粗糙的辯論,當誰告訴的傢伙

  • the president to shut up was seen as the classy candidate.

    總統閉嘴被認為是優雅的候選人。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Well, the first of the night's six sections

    好了,今晚六節中的第一節。

  • was about the Supreme Court, and it ended like this.

    是關於最高法院的,結局是這樣的。

  • Watch this exchange.

    看這個交流。

  • -This is so unpresidential. -He's gonna pack the Court.

    -這真不是總統的作風.-他要把法庭擠爆了

  • -That was really a productive segment, wasn't it?

    -這真是一個富有成效的部分,不是嗎?

  • [ Chuckling ]

    [笑著]

  • Keep yapping, man.

    繼續說,夥計。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Sadly, looking back, that was the most productive segment.

    遺憾的是,回想起來,那是最有成效的一段。

  • After that, the debate moved on to the pandemic.

    之後,爭論的焦點就轉移到了大流行病上。

  • Then Biden tried to hit Trump with a quick sound byte.

    然後拜登試圖用一個快速的聲音字節來打擊特朗普。

  • Watch this.

    看這個。

  • -When he was presented with that number,

    -當他拿到這個號碼時,。

  • he said "It is what it is."

    他說:"就是這樣的。"

  • Well, it is what it is because you are who you are.

    嗯,它是什麼,因為你是你是誰。

  • -Ooh.

    -哦

  • -Even Dr. Seuss was like, "Wait, what are we talking about?"

    -連蘇斯博士都說,"等等,我們在說什麼?"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "It is what... we are -- is what you are?"

    "這就是... ...我們是... ...你們是什麼?"

  • But Biden couldn't talk about the pandemic

    但拜登不能談疫情的事

  • without bringing up one of Trump's

    不提特朗普的

  • most famous gaffes. Check it out.

    最著名的噱頭。看看吧。

  • -This is the same man... -It's all set up.

    -這是同一個人... ...-都被安排好了.

  • -...who told you by Easter, this would be gone away.

    -誰告訴你復活節前這一切都會過去的?

  • By the warm weather, it would be gone,

    到了天氣暖和的時候,它就會消失。

  • miraculously, like a miracle.

    奇蹟般地,像一個奇蹟。

  • By the way, maybe you could inject some bleach in your arm

    對了,也許你可以在你的手臂上注射一些漂白劑。

  • and that would take care of it.

    這將採取照顧它。

  • This is the same man. -That was said sarcastically.

    這是同一個人。-這話是諷刺性的。

  • You know that.

    你知道的

  • -Meanwhile, a guy injecting bleach into his arm

    -與此同時,一個人把漂白劑注射到他的手臂上。

  • was like, "Wait, what do you mean sarcastically?"

    是這樣的,"等等,你是什麼意思諷刺?"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Trump is like, "I don't inject bleach.

    特朗普就像 "我不注射漂白劑。

  • I wear a patch and slowly absorb it all day."

    我戴著貼片,慢慢吸收一整天。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • At the end of Trump's presidency, he'll just be like,

    在特朗普的總統任期結束時,他就會像。

  • "Come on, everything I said was sarcastic.

    "得了吧,我說的都是諷刺的話。

  • Well, just... [ Speaking indistinctly ]

    嗯,只是...[說話含糊不清]

  • No, you said that, I...

    不,你說的,我... ...

  • No, no, well, you said -- I said..."

    不,不,好吧,你說--我說......"

  • Of course trump tried to fight back.

    當然川普想反擊。

  • He really took issue with Biden using the word smart.

    他對拜登使用聰明這個詞真的很有意見。

  • Watch this. -Unless he gets a lot smarter

    看這個-除非他變得更聰明瞭。

  • a lot quicker -- -Mr. President?

    快多了 -- -總統先生?

  • -Did you use the word smart?

    -你用了聰明這個詞嗎?

  • Don't use the word smart with me.

    不要用聰明這個詞來形容我。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep. Trump accused Biden of not being smart.

    是的 -特朗普指責拜登不聰明特朗普指責拜登不聰明。

  • He was like, "I'm much smarter. That's how is how I got

    他說:"我比你聰明多了。這就是如何是我如何得到

  • nominated for the Taco Bell Peace Prize."

    被提名為 "塔克貝爾和平獎"。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • And finally, Biden had really had enough

    最後,拜登真的受夠了

  • and hit Trump with this insult.

    並用這種侮辱打擊特朗普。

  • -People out there need help.

    -外面的人需要幫助

  • -But why didn't you do it over the last 25 years?

    -但為什麼你在過去的25年裡不這麼做呢?

  • -Because you weren't president --

    -因為你不是總統... ...

  • -Why didn't you do it over the last 25 years?

    -為什麼你在過去的25年裡不這麼做?

  • -Because you weren't president screwing things up.

    -因為你沒有當總統,沒有把事情搞糟

  • -You were a Senator and -- -You're the worst president

    -你曾是參議員,你是最差的總統

  • America has ever had. Come on.

    美國有史以來。來吧。

  • -Oof.

    -哦

  • Trump was like, "That's ridiculous.

    特朗普當時就說:"這太荒唐了。

  • Everyone knows I'm somewhere between

    每個人都知道我是介於

  • George Washington and Martin Sheen."

    喬治-華盛頓和馬丁-希恩。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

-Yeah, you know, things are good.

-是的,你知道,情況很好。

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