What do you mean?

什麼意思？

I'm a model on It's so crazy.

我是一個模特兒在它是如此瘋狂。

Mental health.

心理健康；

What is that?

那是什麼？

Mhm.

嗯

Recently, I re capital my 2019 waas.

最近，我重新資本了我的2019年華斯。

You know, career wise, Amazing.

你知道，事業上，令人驚歎。

Personally for me, I did the human being, not a debt.

對我個人來說，我做的是人，不是債。

The model.

該模型。

It was not a great year.

這不是一個偉大的年份。

It's actually interesting that, like fashion and being around Ah, lot of people who you would think would think that they're perfect or feel perfect or look perfect or have perfect lives who are deeply unhappy with how they look in their lives.

其實很有意思的是，像時尚和身邊啊，很多人你會覺得他們會認為自己很完美，或者感覺很完美，或者看起來很完美，或者有完美的生活，他們對自己生活中的樣子深感不滿。

As a model, you have toe literally have this separation of yourself where you're not, you don't even belong to you anymore.

作為一個模特兒，你必須趾高氣揚地對自己有這樣的分離，你不是，你甚至不屬於你了。

What it does to your brain is so fucked up.

它對你的大腦的影響是如此的糟糕。

All the models that I know we all have self esteem problems.

我認識的所有模特，我們都有自尊心問題。

So it's really funny when you when you see people targeting us and making fun or thinking that we're this like super sexy entity.

所以，這真的很有趣，當你... ...當你看到人們針對我們和取笑 或認為我們是這個喜歡超級性感的實體。

Imagine the whole world judging every pore of your entire body.

想象一下，整個世界都在評判你全身的每一個毛孔。

Who trained you how to cope with that?

誰訓練你如何應對？

There's a lot of pressure to be, um, I'm not perfect, but yet to be on for people because, you know, for me personally, I never want to seem like I'm not grateful for opportunities or come off as a diva.

有很多的壓力，嗯，我不是完美的， 但尚未成為上的人，因為，你知道，對我個人來說， 我從來沒有想似乎像我不感激的機會 或脫落作為一個天后。

And, you know, sometimes I feel like you have to, like, try extra hard to be like the happy positive model on set mental health is really important.

而且，你知道，有時我覺得 你必須一樣，額外的努力 要像快樂的積極模型 在設置心理健康 真的很重要。

So I'm only 18 and I'm just going to, um, start working on it.

所以我只有18歲，我只是要，嗯，開始努力。

I want to see myself a few years later and see how I'm dealing with life.

我想看看幾年後的自己，看看自己是如何對待生活的。

I suffer from very bad depression and anxiety.

我患有非常嚴重的抑鬱症和焦慮症。

I've been suffering with it for some time, and I decided, like enough is enough.

我已經忍受了一段時間了，我決定，像夠了就行。

I'm not going to keep suffering from this in silence.

我不會一直默默忍受這種痛苦。

I know that there's so many people out there who are going through the same thing that I'm going through.

我知道，有這麼多的人在那裡 誰是經歷 同樣的事情，我正在經歷。

What you see in the media most times is the highlight reel.

你在媒體上看到的大多數時候都是亮點。

It's okay not to be okay.

不沒事也沒關係。

Sometimes it's okay to be sad.

有時候，傷心也沒關係。

It's okay.

沒事的

Toe have bad days.

趾頭有不好的日子。

Those aren't the days that we're putting on Instagram.

那些日子，我們不是在Instagram上放的。

What's hard is that people still despite like all of this affirmed tragedy in history, that people still equate success with happiness or confidence or wholeness, and I sometimes don't wanna look like people down and that that's not what it's like.

困難的是，人們仍然儘管喜歡這一切肯定的悲劇在歷史上，人們仍然等同於成功與幸福或信心或完整，我有時不想看起來像人下來，這不是它的樣子。

Um, but that's also not not true in ways I do feel so much more full and that I've been able to, like, change how people see and feel about themselves, which is so much more fulfilling than I could have imagined, but sometimes feels like I like, get home and I'm gonna have to, like, unzip myself.

嗯，但這也不是不真實的方式，我確實覺得這麼多更充分，我已經能夠一樣，改變人們如何看待和感受自己，這是如此多的更多的滿足比我能想象，但有時感覺像我一樣，回家後，我要去必須一樣，解開自己。

E hang myself up for the night.

我今晚要把自己掛起來

Some girls join this industry at like an age of 16.

有些女孩在16歲的時候就加入了這個行業。

They leave school at this hope of becoming like a model a lot of time.

他們離開學校時，在這個希望成為像一個模型很多時間。

It's money, and you know they want to support themselves and the people around them.

是錢，你知道他們想養活自己和身邊的人。

And sometimes, like all the work may dry up, that there's always that hope of something new coming through.

有時候，就像所有的工作可能會枯竭一樣，總有新的希望出現。

But at the end of the day, they just wanna keep a flow.

但到了最後，他們只是想保持一個流程。

Imagine like being in like a workplace, where everybody's always saying like Oh my God, you look so good and you're so pretty and whatever and blah, blah, blah you're fishing off life changes maybe a little bit.

想象一下，就像在喜歡的職場中，大家總是說哦，我的天啊，你真好看，你真漂亮，什麼什麼的，等等，等等，你釣掉生活的變化也許有一點。

So I guess people just get addicted to it, and then they don't want to leave anymore.

所以我想，人們只是沉迷於此，然後就不想再離開了。

So they just rather want to struggle and stay than leave.

所以，他們只是寧可掙扎著留下來，也不願離開。

I think there needs to be a major overhaul and how girls and people are treated not just his objects but as disposable.

我認為需要進行一次大的改革，如何對待女孩和人，不僅僅是他的對象，而是作為一次性的。

Existing in scarcity is such a dangerous and violent war zone in any space.

在稀缺中存在，在任何空間都是這樣一個危險而暴力的戰區。

And fortunately, you know, this'll version of scarcity, which I live in, is still very lucky.

而幸運的是，你知道，我所處的這個稀缺版本，還是很幸運的。

But it's still takes a toll on me and takes a toll on a lot.

但它仍然對我造成了傷害，對很多人造成了傷害。

A lot of people in this industry and it's not just models.

這個行業的很多人，不僅僅是模特。

It's why the competition and the abuse of power is so pervasive is because everyone's afraid to get kicked out and to be over, and it's really dangerous.

之所以競爭和濫用權力的現象如此普遍，就是因為大家都害怕被踢出局，害怕被超過，這真的很危險。

I feel like a lot of the models.

我覺得像很多模特。

They don't speak up because they know that they're risking something because it's dangled in your face that you're you're replaceable.

他們不說話是因為他們知道自己在冒著風險，因為你的臉被吊著，你是可以被替代的。

It's literally dangled in your face like you don't like how we're doing things cool.

這簡直就是在你臉上晃來晃去，好像你不喜歡我們做的事情很酷似的。

We can replace you.

我們可以代替你。

Think is why people don't speak up because the field I feel disposable.

認為是為什麼大家不說話，因為這個領域我覺得是一次性的。

Yeah, the fear is so strong sometimes I think like Oh, I could use a two month holiday and then I'm like, Oh, but what if, like, after those two months, nobody wants to book me anymore?

是啊，恐懼是如此強烈，有時我想，像哦，我可以使用兩個月的假期，然後我想，哦，但如果一樣，這兩個月後，沒有人願意預訂我了嗎？

Fashion is so fast you'd never know.

時尚如此之快，你永遠不會知道。

Like what the next trends is.

比如下一個趨勢是什麼。

And if you're still gonna be in trend, there is a lot of turnover.

而如果你還會在趨勢中，就會有很多人流失。

And, you know, you see models comedy, you see models.

而且，你知道，你看模特喜劇，你看模特。

Girl, I think you know, there has to be a discussion with casting directors and a discussion with editors of what they want to see and what makes him want a model toe last.

姑娘，我想你知道，必須和選角導演討論，和編輯討論他們想看到什麼，是什麼讓他想要一個模特兒趾高氣揚。

I think that a lot off models are fearful because we're often made to feel like if we speak out about something against a certain client or brand or designer, that we're gonna mess up the relationship and therefore will never be used to get.

我覺得很多模特兒都很害怕，因為我們經常會覺得，如果我們對某個客戶或品牌或設計師說出一些話來，我們會把關係搞得一團糟，是以永遠不會被利用來獲得。

If something isn't right, we should be ableto voice it without feeling like we're gonna be crucified for it.

如果有什麼不對的地方，我們應該能夠表達出來，而不覺得我們會是以而被釘在十字架上。

What's the lifetime of a model?

一個模型的壽命是多少？

What somehow, how long everyone says you have five years, Max?

不知為何，大家都說你有五年的時間，麥克斯？

No, but yeah, everybody says you have five years, but if you're smart and you know what you're doing, you can make it less.

不，但是，是的，每個人都說你有五年的時間， 但如果你很聰明，你知道你在做什麼， 你可以讓它更少。

I think about it.

我想了想。

If you're there for five years and there's all these issues, would you wanna be like, Oh, I'm gonna speak up.

如果你在那裡呆了5年，有這麼多的問題，你會不會想說，哦，我要說話了。

I'm just gonna get my bag and did.

我只是要去拿我的包和做。

Yeah, you know what I mean?

是的，你知道我的意思嗎？

I feel like a lot of the reason why it last five years is because of the way this'll industry ruins you mentally.

我覺得之所以能堅持五年，很大程度上是因為這個行業把你精神上毀了。

Yeah, it's not because you become ugly or you look can't walk anymore.

是啊，這不是因為你變得醜陋或你看起來不能再走路了。

It's most models.

是大多數車型。

They quit.

他們不幹了。

They just leave.

他們只是離開。

They just walk away.

他們只是走開。

No one says you can't modeling.

沒有人說你不能做模特。

They leave broke, They leave broke, they leave, they leave tainted.

他們破產了，他們破產了，他們離開了，他們離開了汙染。

They leave like empty shells of what they wants were they literally have no more life in them.

他們就像空殼一樣離開，他們想要的東西是他們字面上沒有更多的生命。

There are so many moving parts, especially being part of an industry with so many different people that you face a lot of struggles.

動的部分太多，尤其是身處一個行業，有很多不同的人，你會面臨很多掙扎。

You have to wake up every day and choose that happiness for yourself, not for someone else and not based on anyone else.

你必須每天醒來，為自己選擇那份幸福，而不是為別人選擇，也不是基於任何人。

I didn't come from any kind of money.

我沒有任何錢財的來源。

I have dedicated my entire twenties to an industry which tells me that in a few years it's gonna be over, so it's pretty scary and it wears on my mental house.

我把整個二十幾歲的時間都奉獻給了一個行業，這個行業告訴我，再過幾年就要結束了，所以很可怕，這讓我的心理房子很疲憊。

It has worn on my relationships.

這對我的人際關係造成了磨損。

I spent 40% of my life on an airplane.

我一生中有40%的時間是在飛機上度過的。

All right, you know, So, yeah, it's definitely changed, but it's also impacted it in other ways in which, like, I can always say no matter what, Like, I change something and I never envisioned like, you know, I couldn't tell my like, chubby 10 year old self who thought she wasn't gonna do anything in the world that so grateful for that way.

好吧，你知道，所以，是的，它肯定改變了， 但它也影響了它在其他方面，喜歡，我總是可以說 不管是什麼，喜歡，我改變的東西，我從來沒有設想過像， 你知道，我不能告訴我喜歡，胖胖的10歲的自我 誰認為她是不會做任何事情在世界上如此感激的方式。