Name: 色誘之術！剖析「誘惑心理學」給你聽！ (Unpacking the psychology of seduction | BBC Ideas)
Uploaded: 2020-06-09T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 4 min 49 s

So there's a great Oscar Wilde quote, which is that: "Everything in life is about sex—except for sex, which is about power."

有一出自英國詩人奧斯卡・王爾德的短語：「生活中一切都與性有關，除了性，性與權力有關。」

程度副詞

When you think about seduction you probably think about it in a rather narrow sense in terms of erotic seduction or sexual seduction.

當你想到「誘惑」，你可能只會狹隘地想到色情相關的誘惑或者性的誘惑。

情態副詞

But what if I were to suggest to you seduction is a much deeper, wider, more mysterious thing and actually at the heart of it is the secret to success in life.

但如果我要跟你說的誘惑是更深入、更廣泛且其實是生活中獲得成功的核心呢？

My name is Dr. Raj Persaud, I'm a consultant psychiatrist.

我是 Raj Persau 醫師，我是一名精神科顧問醫師。

I wrote a book on the psychology of seduction as being the key secret at the heart of successful relationships.

我寫了一本書關於誘惑心理學如何成為一段成功關係的核心。

I'm an international burlesque performer, creative director and teacher and producer.

我是一位國際脫衣舞孃，創意總監和製作人。

If you think about your average day and the way you make your way through your average day and the people you meet: your work colleagues, your friends and people who might serve you in restaurants and so on.

如果你想想你一天是怎麼度過你日常的一天，那些你遇到的人，例如：你同事、朋友、餐廳為你服務的人等等。

If you learn the art of seduction and you seduce these people into liking you and therefore delivering what you want, you'll find it much easier to navigate your way through life.

如果你學會誘惑的藝術，誘惑別人對你產生好感並使他提供你所需要的，你會發現尋找人生方向上面會變得容易許多。

Burlesque performers are good at seduction because we're trained to understand that we make choices in how we present our art to the audience.

脫衣舞孃很擅長誘惑，因為我們有接受訓練，選擇要如何呈現我們的藝術表演給觀眾。

On stage, we learn to use our seduction techniques consciously.

在舞台上，我們學會有意識地使用誘惑技巧。

So I know that if I cast my eye a certain way the audience will focus on a certain part of my costuming.

所以我知道如果我刻意地投射我的眼光，觀眾會將注意力集中在我服裝的某個部份。

Or if I move in a certain way it draws attention to a part of my body, and that will be part of the story that I want to tell within my act.

或者我做出某種動作，這也會吸引觀眾目光到我身體的某個部份，而這也會成為我表演所想表達的一部分。

So we learn to be very aware of even just a glance of the eye or a stroke of the hands on the body.

所以我們學習甚至是一個眼神或手輕撫身體的動作都要非常有意識。

We use all of these tools to direct the audience's gaze because we want to tell them a story.

我們使用這些方法來引導觀眾的目光，因為我們想要告訴他們故事。

So all of these micro-movements are really, really important in getting to grips with how you direct the audience to watch your act and absorb what you're trying to tell them.

所以所有這些細小的動作，對於要緊緊抓住觀眾看你表演的目光，和吸收你所想跟他們說的來說都非常非常重要。

When we perform burlesque at a show, we're clowning ideas of what attraction is and of what sexuality is and what seduction is.

當我們表演，我們就是在活用吸引力、性感和誘惑的概念。

We're playing with what might be called the traditional feminine arts, and we're using those as a springboard really to play with the audience about ideas of power and ideas of that enticement, seducement and glamour as well.

我們表演的東西或許被稱作「傳統女性藝術」，而我們將其作為與觀眾之間的跳板，讓觀眾了解這個表演的誘惑力和吸引力。

[How do you seduce someone if you're not a burlesque performer?]

[我不是舞孃，我要如何誘惑別人呢？]

Find out what that person's unmet need is and then fill it in a way it's never been filled before.

找到這個人沒被滿足的需求，並用他從沒體驗過的方式滿足他。

In my clinic, people come in and they're often unhappy.

在我的診所裡，進來的人們通常都不太快樂。

They're unhappy because they're frustrated with the world.

因為他們對於這個世界感到很挫折。

The world is not giving them what they want.

這個世界給予他們的並不是他們想要的。

It's not giving them a date with the people they want to have a date with.

沒有賜給他們與想約會的對象約會的機會。

It's not giving them popularity or love or affection.

也沒有讓他們變得受歡迎、被愛或者關照。

And so people are upset and they have a demanding approach to the world.

所以人們對於世界很失望，並且對世界相當地苛求，

Why is the world not giving me what I want?

為什麼為什麼世界沒有給我想要的東西呢？

So in order to get what you want from the world, you need to understand this basic transaction.

為了可以從世界取得你所想要的，你需要了解這個基本的交換原理。

You're going to have to give something to the world to get that thing that you want.

你必須付出一些東西才能得到想要的。

The problem is we're always thinking about our own unmet needs, and that distracts us from focusing on the person in front of us.

問題是，我們一直都只考慮自己未滿足的需求，而這也分散了對面前的人的注意力。

And in particular, what their key frustrations are.

更具體來說，他們最主要的挫折是什麼？

A lot of small talk, in terms of passing the time of day, doesn't seem to be very directed but seductive people are actually using small talk in a particular way.

就一天之中，有很多閒聊都沒有很明確的目的性，但懂得誘惑的人通常會通常會用特定的方式閒聊。

What they're doing is they're figuring out the direction your life is travelling in.

他們所做的，就是理解自己人生想往哪個方向前進。

They're trying to figure out what it is that drives you forward.

他們試著理解是什麼成為推動他們向前的力量。

And that's the best way to find out what the unmet need is, and then to fill it in a way that it's never been filled before.

然後這會使找出你未滿足的需求最好的方式，然後再以從未體驗過的方式滿足它。

[Should you be yourself or act like someone else?]

[應該要做自己還是模仿別人？]

One of the things that I really want the audience to go away feeling is that there is no one rule about how to be attractive, how to be sexy, how to be seductive because each of us have our own individual power.

有一件事我非常想要觀眾們擺脫的想法，就是沒有一個定則可以讓你變有吸引力、變得性感或誘惑，因為每個人都有自己的方式。

And the importance of burlesque is to be an antidote to the one-dimensional idea that there is only one way to do these things.

身為舞孃很重要的一點就是成為所有單面向問題的解藥，有些問題不再只有單一解答。

So each performer really roots into their individuality and then we magnify it to make this huge explosion of individual gravitas and attraction and seduction.

所以每個表演者的風格真的都深入個人特色後再加以放大，迸發出只屬於自己的行為舉止、吸引力和魅惑感。

Most people have very low self-esteem about the idea that they could learn to be seductive.

大部分人對於他們可以學習變得充滿誘惑力這點非常沒有自信。

They believe you're either born with it, you're either drop dead gorgeous or you're not.

他們相信你要不就是與生俱來的魅惑，正爆了，或者什麼都不是。

我認為誘惑是一項可以學習的技能。

What I mean by that is anyone can learn to be seductive and certainly to be more seductive.

我的意思是指大家都可以學習如何變得很有魅力，也一定可以變得更有魅力。

So if you learn the skills of seduction, you can be as seductive as any of the most gorgeous people you've met in your life.

所以如果你學會了一些魅惑小技巧，你可以成為如你此生遇過最漂亮的人那般具有魅力。

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