how's this not far enough go on okay further down you can't go too far right okay i get it i get it how's this good now stand still don't move okay let's do it i love it i love it okay hailey calm down wait you're not even gonna yell at him that was private oh please the most shocking thing in there was your spelling you read it too am i the only one who hasn't read it i was looking through the computers in the house for pornography sick not for me i wanted to see what you guys are looking at so you're violating our privacy when i find out that my children are looking at a naked picture online they don't have any privacy who is looking at naked pictures that doesn't matter i wasn't was it me it's gross i'm tan wait a minute what's wrong with you people if it wasn't you who was it go get him there we go y'all set yeah okay go get him good luck excuse me is this seat taken oh thank you oh is manny yours yes oh he's quite good i saw him earlier hi thank you yeah see your little girl oh carolyn no no sadly her parents passed away i'm her nurse down at the children's hospital but all of my patients are like family to me she's our little miracle oh i only wish your father had made it back from afghanistan to see this oh there's our cheering section over here you guys oh my god we have to stop him so maybe i can pull the fire alarm expect no mercy bring it on big boy put it away or lose it somebody's got to put a stop to this so can we take you and caroline out for ice cream we can't she's diabetic of course she is i am so so sorry i know it's no excuse but i've been feeling a lot of pressure at school you know with friends and i love you so much and i appreciate everything you do for me i'm still your little girl oh honey that's so sweet can i get 20 dollars a bunch of us are going to a movie and we're gonna get something neat afterwards jenna's brother's gonna take us home okay of course sweetie you know what take 40 oh my gosh yeah that's right thanks go on have a great time oh alex honey when you're out shopping you might want to pick yourself up a training bra i know you don't need one now but your little boobies are gonna come in soon mommy loves you kitten that's what my dad's picking me up hey if we're not done by three i'm gonna tie a noose on this thing in colombia there's a saying if you have two stubborn burros that don't like each other you tie them to the same cart the ceiling fan is the cart my dad's taking me on space mountain it's supposed to be really fast but he's not scared of anything he doesn't even wear a seatbelt when he drives wow how about that killed a bear once really was the bear sitting in the passenger seat read me the instructions safety tips warning to reduce the risk of electrical we can skip that uh failure to heed these warnings can lead to serious injury you know you worry too much you know that nobody's gonna get shocked one time my dad was shocked by lightning that's why he can drink as much as he wants man he thinks his dad is like superman the truth he's a total flake in fact the only way he's like superman is that they both landed in this country illegally pj's on hayley what um i would be happy to let her change in my room i am brave roller coasters love them scary movies i've seen ghostbusters like seven times i regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified so yeah i'm pretty much not afraid of anything hey everybody quit your clown around that's my job except clowns never shared that with the fam so do have an image to maintain i am not really sure where the fear comes from my mother says it's because when i was a kid i found a dead clown in the woods who knows now that's a surprise boxers is that necessary well i just always pictured you as a tidy whitey guy do me a favor the next time you picture me leave the underwear out of it well don't you worry the only thing i'm picturing is how clean the floor is going to be when i'm done mopping it with you is that the best you can do because it's going to take a little more than some lame trash talk to get me out of my god what the hell was that our butts pressed against each other they didn't press it was glancing stop talking about oh come on all the time you've spent in the locker room this can't be your first moon landing you got a name for it it's very common you got off easy at least it didn't happen after a shower enough we call that a splashdown that's it i'm changing in the stall excuse me you mind if i join you i'm clive clive dixby yes i can see that i'm juliana so clive you in town for a convention or do you just forget your name a lot pretty kitty has nails i like that i'm in town for a trade show i design high-end electroacoustic transducers wow that is very specific it's a fancy way of saying i get things to make noise so what's your story miss america pageant in town oh you're a pretty smooth talker clive i'm pretty smooth all over sir there's no smoking in here oh that's fine i do not actually smoke what am i most afraid of let's see global warming i'm getting a b the phone ringing in the middle of the night but i'm too much of a perfectionist honey this isn't a job interview oh man job interviews nothing yeah right what about the pigeons oh i don't like them they're shifty losing mitchell oh hotel bedspreads never getting my driver's license or getting one and the picture sucks dying alone what's my coaching philosophy give a kid a bird yes and he becomes one of those weird dudes who walks around with a bird on his shoulder but give him a pair of wings he can fly unless he has absolutely no hand-eye coordination okay i support you nobody likes a crying baby on a flight it's it's very stressful yeah uh last year i flew back from new york next to a baby who was very upset the entire flight and it was hell i was on that flight with you and i don't recall oh i get it you're talking about me it's very funny yeah we couldn't get tickets to billy elliott all we wanted to do was dance and that's my story five hours of this i just want to dance with the ballet you like being a basketball player serious i choked i didn't think you'd look up here at me oh oh how weird is this quick quick tell me something to say that'll freak him out tell him i'm pregnant no i'm not gonna say that here we go how funny is this hey it's phil you know what to do hey little monkey no standing around there you go here goes another one there you go there you go because i thought it would be cute you gotta think she's back in vietnam lily lauria tells me you had a real good time not really no i didn't god i love your daughter that's bad oh honey i'm fine no i'm fine i'm just okay that's cancer maybe it's just a kidney stone just claire what's going on guys it's nothing go back to bed no but dad don't touch me i bet it's just a kidney just again someone get your mom a glass of water and a piece of gravel from the driveway and see how she likes it why is everybody yelling something's wrong with dad don't frighten him come here oh there's gotta be death death is coming you need to go to the hospital no no i just need a pill give me the biggest one you can find honey breathe just just breathe that's what i told you when you were in labor and you threw my smoothie at me bill okay i'm calling no no it's fine it's actually it's fine it's passing it's passing i am sorry to alarm everyone i think i was probably just overreacting because there's an alien inside of me oh my god oh close it down all systems down okay they're on their way okay kids gather around like you're hugging me but don't touch me okay no look i'm gonna be fine we know dad we don't know that it's a miracle i'm standing up but look in case anything happens i want you to know that if i had time i would have fixed that step thanks don't cry luke i'm okay i broke the coffee table that's okay what i broke the glass coffee table the one you swore you didn't break and then we blamed esperanza and fired her and she stole a turkey at thanksgiving for her family and got deported yeah damn it i'm sorry you will be sorry okay did you hear that luke broke the thing you changed your clothes well i i had to get dressed into that sexy clean oh my god it's the fireman no and lipstick i'm out here convulsing in agony and you're looking for cute tops to wear i just threw on the first thing i could find well we got a minute if you want to try on some tighter jeans no by all means claire we want you looking your sexiest when the hunky gay fireman get here how we doing we're great he meant me right the kids are so excited for you to come home oh me too yeah luke made you a sign oh he's a sweetie yeah you seem great yeah i'm great good except for the fireman thing you remember it yeah okay look i am sorry i'm so sorry there's no excuse for it i think i just spend so much time in dowdy mom clothes and i'm covered in paste and peanut butter and i just i wanted to feel attractive for a second you know i'm sorry you're really hi i just just need a little bit of time i'm gonna be fine okay yeah okay i was already fine with it here's the deal claire messed up she owed me this never happens old phil has a golden ticket now i could have cashed that in right away for something small get out of cleaning the garage a week at circus camp still fresh but the longer you hold on to it the more the guilt builds the more you get five years trip to paris with my buddies 10 years sweet little convertible 20 years hello fully articulating five function robot that can read my mind and has feelings phil you're not leaving without saying goodbye are you hey elaine is this your husband uh goodbye paris i'm visiting my sister and he was entertaining us all afternoon with his card tricks is that phil hey mom phil's leaving without a hug wow goodbye fully articulating five function robot with the ability to goodbye britney hurry honey phil's leaving oh you're fine go out we talk drink wine can i drink wine no some friend well you can still talk to me about anything yeah adults always say that but they don't mean it when my mom says i can ask her anything i really can't she just freaks out i won't freak out shoot okay how many men have you slept with eight next i have a small flower on my ankle and a tiny little butterfly on my thigh how high up very high did you do it to look sexy no did you do it for a guy does grandpa like it no no and yes that's gross let's go back to your piercings no no no i've answered enough of your questions now it's your turn to answer one what is it why you don't want to wear a dress because i don't want to look like hayley and her stupid friends i wear dresses and i don't look like hayley you are hayley just 40 years older 10 20 deal okay oh oh yeah you get back here what are you doing i just love me it's a darden what i know i love you that hurts let's get you inside hi i know that's hurting this is a hot one hello hi there hi again i uh found your bike uh oh good you the at the gas station no at my house one of my neighbors saw it and put it in my garage when you were in my bedroom so classic me my head is full of wrong ideas you have such great taste claire thank you i remember phil used to have really good taste too oh here it is phil would you mind grabbing us a couple glasses you betcha need me to grab anything nope okay this is so wrong i know it's way more exciting when she's in the room no i still have my cheerleader outfit so do i but this still can't happen when did that break why are you working out i never washed in what about all those things you wrote on facebook how was your day my neck is so sore why do people keep adding voices to these things i didn't mean anything you're telling me that i wasted a year of my life on this relationship what relationship how many other women have you let on no i don't know phil honestly they put on the littlest bit of sunscreen in the morning they think it's got them covered are you watching glory in my sunglasses is she moving in slow motion or is my brain doing no phil this is important go ahead i'm listening are you drawing something there yeah it's no good tortured artist classic oh yeah it's a robot oh yeah sure is what's behind him a dinosaur it's for school we're supposed to make a comic strip we had to do that too back in the end he was 14 years old shut up he's my soulmate well hopefully this is this is like riding a bicycle and we'll all come back to me that's the loud one so here we go hmm oh silly me i had the sticks in the wrong hands so dude you should label those sticks ah這怎麼不夠遠，繼續 好吧，再往下，你不能走太遠，對吧 好吧，我明白了，我明白了 這怎麼會好呢，現在站在原地別動 好吧，讓我們做吧，我喜歡它，我喜歡它 好吧，海莉冷靜下來 等待，你甚至不打算罵他 這是私人的，哦，請最令人震驚的事情最令人震驚的是你的拼寫 你也看了 我是唯一沒看的人嗎?他們沒有隱私權 誰在看裸體照片 這不重要 不是我 是我 太噁心了 我被晒黑了 等一下 你們這些人是怎麼了 如果不是你 那是誰 去找他 我們走 你們都準備好了謝謝，曼尼是你的孩子嗎？ 是的，他很不錯，我之前見過他 你好，謝謝，看到
