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  • Hey!

    嘿!

  • Conan O'Brien here.

    我是 Conan O'Brien。

  • I hope everyone watching this, right now, is being safe.

    希望在看這支影片的每個人,現在都是安全的。

  • I hope you're washing your hands, and I hope like me, you're hunkered down at home.

    我希望你有好好洗手,也希望像我一樣,你有好好待在家。

  • I thought maybe I could be of some help, by offering a life hack.

    我想說,也許我能提供一些幫助,像是給你們一些生活秘訣。

  • Lot of people out there are worried, right now, about toilet paper.

    很多人現在都因為衛生紙很緊張。

  • People are going to stores, and they seem to want more toilet paper than they could ever use in a six-year period, if they had continual diarrhea.

    人們跑去商店,想買有持續性腹瀉才需要的、超過六年份的衛生紙。

  • And now it's gone!

    結果衛生紙都沒了!

  • It's all gone and people are panicking.

    全部賣光,人們就開始慌張。

  • I'm here to assure you, there are many things around the house you can use instead of toilet paper that work just as well.

    我在這裡向你保證,家裡有很多東西,可以有跟衛生紙一樣的功效。

  • For example, CVS receipts.

    像是 CVS (美國連鎖藥妝店) 的發票。

  • CVS receipts are long.

    CVS 的發票都很長。

  • This was for just six tic tacs I bought.

    我只是買了六盒 Tic Tacs,就拿到這張。

  • I never throw them away, 'cause I knew this day would come.

    我沒有把發票丟掉,因為我預料到有天會用到。

  • Also, we all have these around the house, Valpak.

    我們也會有這個東西,Valpak。

  • Valpak coupons.

    Valpak 的折價券。

  • I know you never really use them.

    我知道你其實不會使用它們。

  • Now, look at that, you can clean yourself with colorful coupons.

    結果現在你可以用彩色的折價券清理自己了。

  • You probably have some stocks around the house, that aren't really worth as much as they used to be.

    你也許有些股票在家,現在也沒以前值錢了。

  • These are mostly stocks I bought for Carnival Cruise Line.

    這些幾乎都是我買的嘉年華遊輪公司的股票。

  • That laugh was too hard and too long.

    剛剛那個大笑太用力又太長了。

  • I apologize.

    我道歉。

  • You can use souvenir t-shirts.

    你也可以用紀念 T 恤。

  • T-shirts someone gave you, you don't value, you hate them, you can't get rid of them.

    有人送你的 T 恤,你不在意的、你討厭的、你丟不掉的 T 恤。

  • I have thousands of these.

    我有幾千件。

  • So I've been wiping my ass with these 24/7.

    所以我一天 24 小時、一週 7 天,都拿這些擦屁股。

  • Another thing, souvenir baseball caps, like this one.

    例外一件東西也可以,紀念的棒球帽,就像這頂。

  • You're thinking: "Baseball cap, how does that work, Conan?"

    你會想:「Conan,棒球帽要怎麼使用?」

  • You take your fist.

    你握住拳頭。

  • You put it in the ball of the hat, right there.

    把手放進帽子中央,就在這裡。

  • You jam that up in the area, and you work it around.

    你把手塞緊,然後開始用力。

  • Just work that around!

    儘管用力!

  • Works better than toilet paper.

    比衛生紙更好用。

  • Really clean it, clean it well!

    好好清乾淨,完全可以清乾淨!

  • One thing I would not recommend.

    有一個東西我不推薦。

  • Marshmallow Peeps.

    復活節的彩色糖果。

  • Trust me.

    相信我。

  • It's not pleasant, and you end up kind of feeling bad for the little chick.

    一點也不宜人,你最後會對糖果感到很抱歉。

  • Finally.

    最後啦。

  • We all have them, pretentious coffee table books.

    我們都有的,假掰的咖啡桌書。

  • I've had this on my coffee table for nine years.

    我已經把這本書放在咖啡桌上九年了。

  • I don't know who De Kooning is!

    我根本不知道 De Kooning 是誰!

  • What is that?

    這又是啥?

  • That's not art!

    這根本不是藝術!

  • Wipe your ass with it.

    用這個擦屁股吧!

  • That's my life hack.

    這就是我的生活秘訣。

  • I hope it's of use to you.

    希望對你來說有用。

  • Stay well, take care, we'll talk to you soon.

    保持健康、照顧好自己,我們之後見。

Hey!

嘿!

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影片操作 你可以在這邊進行「影片」的調整,以及「字幕」的顯示

B1 中級 中文 美國腔 TeamCoco 衛生紙 用力 t恤 紀念 糖果

原來這些東西可以當衛生紙替代品!?(Conan’s Toilet Paper Life Hacks)

  • 4638 171
    lauren.huang 發佈於 2020 年 05 月 24 日
影片單字