an absolute shit-ton of money from horny teenage girls looking to fantasize about Robert Pattison's

gorgeous face. Combined with DVD sales, this epic cinematic masterpiece of broodingly handsome

vampires grossed over a half-billion dollars. And quite frankly, it should come of no surprise

to you, since everything about this movie is perfection. April Fools! Twilight obviously

isn't the best movie ever made, but - no joke - I actually found myself enjoying most of

this rather childish film, but lets continue with this sarcastic review just the same.The

first in an eventual trilogy of epic proportions, Twilight is the story of sexy 17-year-old

Bella Swan, who besides being total jailbait, moves to a small down in Washington State

to live with her father, and have premarital relations with a 126 year old bloodsucking

vampire. Her first day at her new high school Bella, played with just the right amount of

constipation in her facial expressions by Kristen Stewart, bumps into her beautiful

co-star, and the only person in the entire movie that can actually act, Oscar nominee

Anna Kendrick who plays some dateless loser nerd at Forks High School. Later, Bella meets

Pattison's character, Edward Cullen - a pale faced loner who is more awkward around Bella

than 24's Chloe O'Brien on her menstrual cycle. With a look on his face that screams, "I need

to take a wicked poop right now", Edward skips town for a week, and by the time he returns,

Bella is seemingly in love with him. Poorly written and acted from the outset, Edward's

character is absolutely average - a vampire for over a century he is able to expertly

disguise him true identity and blend in with teenagers, and win over the love of Bella

- that is of course until she does about an hour of research on Google and discovers that

he's really a vampire. But don't worry, he doesn't bite humans, and he has the ability

to read minds, invoke a motion-blur effect on command, and sparkle in the sunlight! As

cheesy, and as a pussy-whipped as the vampires in Twilight are - I found this movie to be

quite enjoyable. Sure, the acting is god-awful at times, the SFX need lots of work, and these

vampires are nothing like Count Orlok from Nosferatu - but I actually found myself caring

about the outcomes of the characters in this story. There is nothing impressive about a

single aspect of this movie, but for it's trying to accomplish - a romantic fantasy

film involving vampires... it definitely succeeds. The story itself of a vegetarian vampire falling

in love with a pasty underage girl is also one of the more original plots Hollywood has

adapted in a while. Well, that's what I thought about Twilight - and while nearly all of you

were much harsher on this film than me, lets take a look at the YouTube comments just the

same.

GourmetCandyChef A horrible film with horrible acting and a horrible storyline, it give Vampires

a bad name, worst movie i have ever wasted time on, and i didn't even sit through the

whole thing, 1/10

JRFWhatIsItNow A very interesting novel with mysterious characters. However, it does not

work well as a movie at all. Questionable scene transitions, uneven performances, and

sub-par directing make this vampire better off dead.

Well, our scores seem to be all over the place, so lets go ahead and rate Twilight!

A 5 and a 1! In a rare instance, my score is actually significantly higher than yours!

Twilight wasn't a great movie by any means, but I also didn't think it was nearly as horrible

as everyone is saying. It may have been awkward, but I was able to enjoy it for what it was,

I scored it an "Alright". You folks vehemently insulted this film, hating everything from

the sparkly vampires to Stewart's atrocious acting - scoring it a Garbage.