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LYDIC: With Super Tuesday at an end,
let's salute the real heroes of this election--
campaign volunteers working tirelessly
for candidates they believe in.
And one Elizabeth Warren fan has been doing more
than just giving you flyers to throw away.
So, anyone that shows me proof of a donation
to Elizabeth Warren's campaign, I give them one month
of free access to my personal porn account.
Come again?
Sir, can you, uh, unpack that for me?
-Yeah. Um... -You know what I mean.
Yeah. I love Warren, I love her policies,
so I give free access to my OnlyFans account,
and I post videos of myself, um, having sex,
um, (bleeping)
a Domino's pizza.
So... let me get this straight.
You're doing (bleeping)
and (bleep) on a Domino's pizza...
for Elizabeth Warren?
That is correct.
But what is it about Warren
that made Kenny take matters into his own hand?
-Number one, um, -Mm-hmm?
one of her policies specifically is health care.
Um, I am a Type 1 diabetic,
um, and I am gonna turn 26 in two months
-and lose my health insurance. -That's terrible.
Not only that, but 26 is basically retirement age
for a porn star.
Yet Kenny is still willing
to give up his earnings for Warren.
But how much are we talking?
So, I charge $9.99.
For a year?
A month.
That's more than Disney+.
I mean, if Elsa starts shoving a dildo up her butt,
maybe Disney+ should start charging more.
-Hmm. -Um...
Well, I mean, I'll tell you something,
if I could see Baby Yoda's butthole,
I'd max out for Warren, too.
People think Baby Yoda's cute, but...
I know he nasty.
-Yeah. -Don't look at me like that.
Okay.
He's 50! He's just supposed to look like a baby.
Okay.
Um, and I started this campaign last Wednesday,
and I have raised close to, if not exceeded, about $6,000.
You've raised $6,000 since Wednesday?
Yeah. All these people literally just want to see my butthole.
And to raise money for Elizabeth Warren.
Absolutely, that as well.
As more and more candidates drop out, you can just feel
the general election poking through.
It's obvious Kenny is flexible,
but does that flexibility extend
to his political loyalties?
Has Elizabeth Warren always been your candidate,
or did you ever think about doing a Yang Bang?
Um, no, I'm... I am Team Warren all the way.
What if a more moderate candidate wins the nomination?
-(sighs) -Would that just be, like,
-over-the-shirt stuff, or...? -Um, I don't even know
if I would have a sex drive at that point.
You could experiment.
I mean, have you ever tried the sex position
where you blindfold yourself and just stumble around
and keep getting in your own way?
It's called the Biden.
Yeah, not my favorite.
Well, blue no matter who.
Blue no matter who.
Kenny's willing to put his ass on the line
for any Democratic candidate.
Do you have any advice for young people
who want to be more involved?
Uh, use your voice and register to vote.
We really have the power to flip this entire country around.
Democracy was built on the backs of brave, young people,
and sometimes that involves (bleep) on a Domino's pizza.
(cheering, applause)