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  • LYDIC: With Super Tuesday at an end,

  • let's salute the real heroes of this election--

  • campaign volunteers working tirelessly

  • for candidates they believe in.

  • And one Elizabeth Warren fan has been doing more

  • than just giving you flyers to throw away.

  • So, anyone that shows me proof of a donation

  • to Elizabeth Warren's campaign, I give them one month

  • of free access to my personal porn account.

  • Come again?

  • Sir, can you, uh, unpack that for me?

  • -Yeah. Um... -You know what I mean.

  • Yeah. I love Warren, I love her policies,

  • so I give free access to my OnlyFans account,

  • and I post videos of myself, um, having sex,

  • um, (bleeping)

  • a Domino's pizza.

  • So... let me get this straight.

  • You're doing (bleeping)

  • and (bleep) on a Domino's pizza...

  • for Elizabeth Warren?

  • That is correct.

  • But what is it about Warren

  • that made Kenny take matters into his own hand?

  • -Number one, um, -Mm-hmm?

  • one of her policies specifically is health care.

  • Um, I am a Type 1 diabetic,

  • um, and I am gonna turn 26 in two months

  • -and lose my health insurance. -That's terrible.

  • Not only that, but 26 is basically retirement age

  • for a porn star.

  • Yet Kenny is still willing

  • to give up his earnings for Warren.

  • But how much are we talking?

  • So, I charge $9.99.

  • For a year?

  • A month.

  • That's more than Disney+.

  • I mean, if Elsa starts shoving a dildo up her butt,

  • maybe Disney+ should start charging more.

  • -Hmm. -Um...

  • Well, I mean, I'll tell you something,

  • if I could see Baby Yoda's butthole,

  • I'd max out for Warren, too.

  • People think Baby Yoda's cute, but...

  • I know he nasty.

  • -Yeah. -Don't look at me like that.

  • Okay.

  • He's 50! He's just supposed to look like a baby.

  • Okay.

  • Um, and I started this campaign last Wednesday,

  • and I have raised close to, if not exceeded, about $6,000.

  • You've raised $6,000 since Wednesday?

  • Yeah. All these people literally just want to see my butthole.

  • And to raise money for Elizabeth Warren.

  • Absolutely, that as well.

  • As more and more candidates drop out, you can just feel

  • the general election poking through.

  • It's obvious Kenny is flexible,

  • but does that flexibility extend

  • to his political loyalties?

  • Has Elizabeth Warren always been your candidate,

  • or did you ever think about doing a Yang Bang?

  • Um, no, I'm... I am Team Warren all the way.

  • What if a more moderate candidate wins the nomination?

  • -(sighs) -Would that just be, like,

  • -over-the-shirt stuff, or...? -Um, I don't even know

  • if I would have a sex drive at that point.

  • You could experiment.

  • I mean, have you ever tried the sex position

  • where you blindfold yourself and just stumble around

  • and keep getting in your own way?

  • It's called the Biden.

  • Yeah, not my favorite.

  • Well, blue no matter who.

  • Blue no matter who.

  • Kenny's willing to put his ass on the line

  • for any Democratic candidate.

  • Do you have any advice for young people

  • who want to be more involved?

  • Uh, use your voice and register to vote.

  • We really have the power to flip this entire country around.

  • Democracy was built on the backs of brave, young people,

  • and sometimes that involves (bleep) on a Domino's pizza.

  • (cheering, applause)

LYDIC: With Super Tuesday at an end,

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下車去投票|《每日秀》|《每日秀》。 (Getting Off to Get Out the Vote | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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