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  • >>Chip Conley: Hello everybody. Welcome. My name is Chip Conley. I'm not Bill Clinton

  • and I'm not the Dalai Lama. I was third choice of Meng's to actually introduce him today.

  • [laughter] But I'm incredibly honored to be here as a friend of Meng. I'm just a huge

  • fan of him and his work. In preparation for being here today, I decided to google "Meng"

  • and "search inside yourself". The first thing that came up was "Mengstupiditis", which I

  • didn't know that you had this website, Meng. But he has a website called Mengstupiditis.

  • There's actually a little point in that website where he says -- there's a picture of him

  • -- and it just says, "I'm just a random generic guy." There's a picture of him and Barack

  • Obama. So I don't -- [laughter] I actually think, although it doesn't say it on his website,

  • I think the symptom of Mengstupiditis is excessive need for getting your photo taken with famous

  • people. I don't know about you, but I think that's one of Meng's more endearing qualities.

  • I think he should have named the book "How To Be A Jolly Good Fellow." But what I love

  • about Meng more than anything is his combination of humility and humor. In looking at that

  • website, the Mengstupiditis website, there was a wonderful little poem that he wrote

  • last month called "The Not Difficult Path". I'm going to read it to you very quickly,

  • it's very short, and then we'll have him up here. Meng says, "With calm mind, I see my

  • true nature. With jolliness, I open Dharma doors. With open heart, I welcome my Buddha.

  • And with non-doing, I enlighten the world." Meng, come please, enlighten us. Thank you.

  • [applause]

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: Thank you. Thank you. I like to stand behind the podium so you can

  • see less of me. It's always an improvement when you see less of me.

  • [laughs] So welcome. [inaudible]. Thank you, Chip. Chip is a wonderful, beautiful human

  • being. It's always nice to be introduced by you. Thank you.

  • I want to start by telling you a famous Zen parable. It's a parable of the guy on the

  • horse. So some guy was riding on a horse, and he was passing by some guy walking on

  • the street, or standing on the street. The guy standing on the street asks the guy on

  • the horse, "So, rider, where are you going?" And the guy on the horse says, "I don't know,

  • why are you asking me? You should be asking the horse. How do I know?" So this is a parable

  • about our emotional lives. The horse signifies our emotion, or emotional life. Usually, we

  • allow a horse to take us where the horse wants to take us. We don't think we have any control.

  • But in fact, I want to tell you today that we do have control. To this, the book in general

  • and to this talk is about mastery. But first, I think even beyond allowing the

  • horse to take you where he wants, I think most of the time we analyze this. We're like,

  • "The horse is dragging us." And especially if we're experiencing emotions like fear,

  • nervousness. For example, you're speaking in front of a crowd of a hundred people, and

  • you're going on YouTube. For example, that could be nerve wracking, right? I don't know,

  • I'm just creating the example. Or anger, and things like that. Then you feel like, "I have

  • no control. I have lost control." You feel like you're being dragged along. Search Inside

  • Yourself is the idea that you can improve on that.

  • The first level of improvement is going from that to this.

  • [laughter] Looking cool.

  • [more laughter] And smoking a Marlboro. But no, I'm just kidding.

  • But looking cool. So you're on the horse, and you don't just look cool. You get to at

  • least have influence on where you want the horse to go. To a certain degree, you get

  • to control the horse. The horse still has his own mind, in the same way our emotional

  • processes have a quote-on-quote "own mind". But you get to control it, guide it where

  • it wants to go. However, it gets even better. You can go from this skillfulness into this

  • mastery, like you stand on a horse and so on. I wish the Geshes were here. I think they

  • would appreciate this. So this is emotional mastery. The question then is, "What does

  • emotional mastery look like in the context of work?" I think that emotional mastery manifests

  • itself in the type of statement we make about ourselves in relation to our emotional skills

  • and success. Oh, the Geshes are here. Okay, I'll just continue

  • talking. [laughs] [pause]

  • For example, the example of those statements. We tell ourselves, "If I have strong self-awareness,

  • I'll be so successful. If I can remain calm and confident in crisis, I'll be so successful.

  • If I can create optimism and resilience, I'll be so successful. And if I can understand

  • people better, then I can instinctively like people, and it can help people like me. I'll

  • be so successful." So all these qualities that I've talked about: confidence, awareness,

  • optimism, and so on, they come under the umbrella of emotional intelligence, which is defined

  • as this: the ability to monitor one's or the others' feeling to discriminate among them.

  • And, most importantly, to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. This

  • is emotional intelligence. The good news. The good news is that these

  • qualities are skills. And like all other skills, these skills are trainable. Emotional skills

  • are trainable. Emotional intelligence is trainable. That's the good news. However, there's better

  • news. The other thing with me, there's no bad news. There's good news and better news.

  • This is why people like me, I mean, in addition to my good looks. [laughter] The better news

  • is that we've found running Search Inside Yourself that those skills are trainable to

  • a meaningful degree in as little as seven weeks. Seven weeks you can train to a large

  • degree of those skills. This is what Search Inside Yourself is about. Search Inside Yourself

  • is an EI, or emotional intelligence, curriculum for adults. A cartoon to show what that looks

  • like. [pause]

  • The question then is, "How do you --" hello, welcome. [pause] It looks like I'm being nice

  • and waiting for guests to sit, but I'm just taking a break, drinking my water. People

  • think, "Meng is so nice" but no. [laughter] Just kidding, just kidding.

  • How do you learn emotional intelligence? It turns out that you cannot learn emotional--

  • it's just by reading the book. You can learn about EI, but you cannot learn EI. In the

  • same way, there's an analogy. The analogy is the gym. Exercise, working out. You can

  • learn about getting fit, but the only way to get fit is to do it, is exercising. So

  • therefore, to acquire emotional skills requires training, just like to acquire muscles requires

  • training. The question then is, "What are we training?" We are training the brain. We

  • can do that because of something called neuroplasticity, which is the discovery that what you do, what

  • you think, and what you pay attention to changes the structure and functions of our brains,

  • even for adults. Even for engineers. [laughter] The most important part is attention. What

  • you pay attention to changes the structure of the brain. That is how we can acquire emotional

  • and mental skills, by training our brain with our attention, which I'll talk about soon.

  • Which leads us to another question -- oh, by the way, and this is a very important insight.

  • The insight that even adults and even engineers can train their brains. Which leads us again

  • to the next question, which is, "How do you train emotional intelligence?" It turns out;

  • all you need is three easy steps. Step 1 is attention training, Step 2 is self-knowledge

  • and self-mastery, and Step 3 is to create mental habits. Now I will talk about this

  • in some detail. By the way, the cartoons you see on the slides

  • are the cartoons in the book. So the book has cartoons. I know, I was writing -- I told

  • myself, "If I'm writing a serious book about emotional intelligence and mindfulness, it

  • has to have cartoons. Whoever heard of a serious book without cartoons?" This is why I did

  • that. Anyway. [laughs] The first step is this, is

  • training attention, which is counterintuitive. We talk about attention. You come to a class

  • that calls itself an emotional intelligence class. What has attention got to do with emotional

  • intelligence? It doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. So here is where it makes sense:

  • the attention we're talking about is to basically create a quality of mind which is this, which

  • allows you to be calm and clear, at the same time, on demand. The idea is to develop your

  • mind, develop your attention to such a degree that whatever situation you're in, whether

  • you're just hanging out, speaking in front of the public, or under stress, customers

  • shouting at you, deadlines, bosses are looking at you, and you can drop into the state where

  • you mind is calm and clear, and at the same time, on demand. And that, my friends, that

  • is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Again, the good news is this is highly trainable.

  • Again, this leads to a question. Yeah, it's highly trainable, but how do you do this,

  • how do you train this quality of mind? The answer is very simple. It's embarrassingly

  • simple. It is a true technique called mindfulness.

  • [inaudible]You're going to laugh at me because it's so embarrassingly simple is this: mindfulness,

  • [pause] [laughter] mindfulness is paying attention, but not just

  • paying attention. Paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.

  • Thus said, that is mindfulness. It's so embarrassingly simple that we can even do it in a couple

  • of seconds. So I'm going to invite everybody to do a ten second exercise. It's very, very

  • simple. All you have to do is to bring a gentle attention to your breath, the process of breathing,

  • whatever it means to you, and then if attention wanders away, just bring it back very gently.

  • Thus said, we're just going to do ten seconds, which is one breath. Easy to do, right? Even

  • an engineer can do that. But because I'm an engineer, I'm going to time ten seconds.

  • [laughs] [laughter]

  • Okay. So, ten seconds, attention to the breath, beginning now. Very gentle attention to the

  • process of breathing. If attention wanders away, just bring it back. That is all. And

  • that was ten seconds. Easy. So easy anybody can do it. So that's the embarrassing part.

  • The hard part is doing this-- being able to deepen the mind of mindfulness, like calm

  • and clear. Deepen it and bring your on demand, and stay in it for as long as you want. So

  • that's the hard part. The easy part is, you know what it is, you can bring it about in

  • ten seconds in a semi-controlled environment, where there's nobody fighting each other or

  • something. It's easy. You might ask the question, which is a valid question, except it's what

  • I call a WTF question, which is: "It sounds so embarrassingly easy, what good can it possibly

  • do?" You bring attention to it -- what good can it possibly do for you? It turns out it

  • does wonders. Here's the analogy, the physical exercise analogy: what you just did is the

  • equivalent of me telling you, giving you a dumbbell and saying, "Do this once." It sounds

  • stupid, right? You take a heavy object, you lift it, you put it down. What can that possibly

  • do for me? It turns out that if you can do this enough, you develop strength. Once you

  • develop strength, you realize that you can do things that you can never imagine before

  • you were strong. A simple thing like this, a simple practice, done repeatedly, over,

  • so practice, over a long stretch of time, changes you. That is the power of mindfulness.

  • So what does it do? How does it change you? A couple of things.

  • [pause] The first change you realize if you practice

  • a lot of mindfulness, like I said, very simple techniques, giving attention to breath. The

  • first effect you find the perception changes. Specifically, the quality of perception changes.

  • You see things in more clarity, especially, specifically, the process of emotion, the

  • process of thought. You can see in clarity. But I talk about it a bit more detailed.

  • The second thing it does-- so it sharpens the mind, increases the quality of attention,

  • and it calms the mind. This practice, done often enough, once again mastery of it, in

  • the middle of stress, you can just bring attention to the breath and your mind is calm. That

  • easily. If people think, "Wow, nothing can bother you." It's not true. Things bother

  • you, but you calm yourself on demand. So what's the proof? There's a study done--

  • this is one of the earliest fMRI studies done on highly achieved, highly enlightened monks,

  • like the monks we have in the audience today. People with between 10 and 50,000 hours of

  • meditation training. This involves the part of the brain called the amygdala, which is

  • a very special part of the brain. The amygdala, it has to do with emotion. It's especially

  • active when you perceive a threat. It doesn't have to be real. You just have to perceive

  • it. Examples of perception of threat. One example is if you see a saber-tooth tiger

  • running at you. Now that's perception of threat. Another perception of threat is when the boss

  • comes to you and says, "Meng, we need to talk." [laughter] [pants]

  • Oh, crap! You know? That's perception of threat. The amygdala likes that. An interesting thing

  • about the amygdala is that it has a very privileged position in the brain, which is that when

  • it activates, when it perceives a threat, it takes over. The way it takes over is that

  • it shuts down the executive part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, over here. You almost,

  • not literally, yeah, you almost literally stop thinking. You just react. Then, gradually,

  • this "Oh my God, I don't believe I just said that to the boss! I just told the boss to

  • go do whatever." [laughter] And then we tell ourselves, "I wasn't thinking." Well, it turns

  • out neurologically, you were not thinking, like for real, literally.

  • That mechanism has been around for millions of years. It's there for a good reason: it

  • helps us survive. If you see a saber-tooth tiger running at you, you don't want to think,

  • "Oh, is that dangerous? Should I google this?" [laughter]

  • Wait a minute, Google hasn't been invented. This sounds like a problem. You don't want

  • to go to this. It's just a "Oh, crap. Run!" So that's how the mechanism works. Unfortunately,

  • it has slight negative consequences that we have today. Because if the amygdala triggers

  • all the time, it's not very healthy. It causes problems. Especially if you're shouting at

  • the boss. Career-limiting. [laughter]

  • However, the question then is, "Is it possible to down regulate something as primitive as

  • the amygdala?" Well, of course not. It sounds stupid. It turns out the answer is yes. Accomplished

  • monks like the Geshes we have, we can do this. It's shown in the fMRI that they can down

  • regulate something as primitive as the amygdala. And the more practice they have, the more

  • effectively they can do that. That is fascinating. This was one of the beginnings, the birth

  • of contemplative neuroscience. One of the first glimpses into the mind of a meditator,

  • from fMRI. [pause] One of the objections, here we see the graph,

  • is that, "Yeah, this is like 10,000 hours of training. I don't have 10,000 hours to

  • meditate." Happily, so again like good news and better news. Good news is this works.

  • Better news is that it turns out you do not need 10,000 hours. The latest research I've

  • seen is-- anybody want to guess? Those who haven't been to my class, by the way. Anybody

  • want to guess how little time it takes to have a measurable effect?

  • [pause] Okay, no guesses. I'll tell you: One-hundred

  • minutes. That's slightly more than an hour. One-hundred minutes is all it takes for it

  • to begin to have a measurable effect, for your life to begin changing. Fascinating stuff.

  • Okay, let me see. [inaudible] Okay. so this is step 1. Step 1 is attention training. Mindfulness,

  • another way to see mindfulness is this: it is like [pause] your mind is like a flag fluttering

  • in the wind, in motion or in distress. Mindfulness is like a flagpole that in this case literally

  • grounds the mind. This is how you can remain under stress [blows] and yet stable at the

  • same time. This is one way to look at mindfulness. So this is step 1: attention training. So,

  • what is step 2? Step 2 is self-knowledge and self-mastery using attention. What does that

  • mean again? Let's begin with a picture. I'm going to show you a picture. Okay. If you

  • look at this picture, you don't know what it says. However, if we do two things to the

  • picture. The first thing we do is we increase resolution. The second thing we do is we increase

  • vividness, or in this case vividness means brightness and contrast. What happens? If

  • you do that-- excuse me-- you find that you have useful information that was hidden from

  • you before. In this case, for those who can't see, it's Colonel Sanders trying to hide the

  • recipe of chicken. [laughs]

  • If not for Colonel Sanders, you can see the recipe already.

  • [laughs] [pause] So the equivalent of the analogy is this:

  • in the mind, when your attention becomes-- when you have training in mindfulness, your

  • attention not just becomes calm, it also becomes sharp. And what that means is two things.

  • First thing it does is it increases the resolution at which you perceive the process of emotion.

  • What does that mean? So resolution is on two dimensions. There's a spatial dimension and

  • a temporal dimension. Spatial dimension means that you're able to perceive changes in the

  • emotional process that you never noticed before. For example, to make this substantial, you

  • begin to be able to see-- oh, later. Temporal resolution is the ability to see changes in

  • small deltas in time. Combined together, to make it substantial, it means for example,

  • the ability to see an emotion the moment it is arising, and to see the emotion the moment

  • it is seizing and all the tiny changes in between. The mind acquires that ability.

  • Hmm. [laughs]

  • Oops. Okay, we're back to this. So that's what it does for you. It creates--

  • so that's resolution. What is vividness? Vividness is when you increase the signal to noise ratio.

  • Parts of an emotional process that was almost hidden from view. You begin to see it in clarity.

  • So combined, you begin to get useful information about yourself. What does that mean substantially?

  • Substantially, it means that you begin to see yourself objectively from a third-person

  • perspective. Instead of seeing your emotion going wild, I can see this anxiousness from

  • a third point of view. This is what it is like to have a certain experience of emotion.

  • Rather than I'm experiencing it, I see it objectively. The way that works is it has

  • to do with the insula. There are parts of the brain here on both sides called the insula.

  • They are related to a few things. The first thing they are related to is awareness of

  • bodily sensations, especially visceral sensations, sensations inside the chest and stomach. The

  • second thing it's correlated to is awareness of emotion. A third thing, surprisingly, is

  • empathy. So people with strong insulas are strong in all three dimensions. It turns out

  • the insula can be trained. It's very easy. All you have to do is to bring attention to

  • the body. That's all. If you do that a lot, every time you do that you strengthen a little

  • bit more. If you do that a lot, you become very aware of yourself or your emotions. The

  • question then again is "What does that do for you?" It's like, "Yeah, yeah, I'm aware

  • that I'm feeling anger at the moment. Whatever." There are a couple of very useful things,

  • and they're so useful that the degree of self-awareness that you can gain can create profound changes

  • in your life. Let me give you some examples. [pause] The

  • first example is that if you're able to perceive an emotion the moment it is arising, that

  • gives you the power to turn it off if you want to. It gives you choice. Therefore, you

  • have a choice of, "Hmm, I feel anger rising. Should I be angry or should I be not?" You

  • can choose. I mean, there are situations where I chose to be angry, and because I was getting

  • ripped off. I figured the best reaction is to put that other people. What it can bring

  • off is to become generally angry, I faced them and banged on the table. And the situations

  • where you're "Nah, I don't want to be angry, especially since she's my boss. Let's turn

  • it off." So you have a choice. The first thing, already, this is life-changing. If you have

  • to ability to turn off anger. Already, it changes your life. That's one.

  • It gets better. Another example is that if you have a lot of strong self-awareness, emotional

  • awareness, the emotional awareness translates into self-assessment. You get to know yourself

  • a bit better. You get to know your resources. This is what I'm good at, this is what I'm

  • bad at. These are my strengths, these are my weaknesses. This is what I really like

  • to do, this is what makes me happy, and so on. And the effect of that is that once you

  • are able to figure out, quote on quote your "deepest values and motivations", then you

  • know what opportunities to look out for. That could change your life.

  • For example, let's say you are good at coding. So you know, "Writing code makes me happy."

  • But suppose that you took SIY and then you know something beyond that. You know that

  • beyond writing code, something else makes me happy, which is connecting people. Just

  • saying, just an example. If you discover that motivation in yourself, then when Google starts

  • a project called Google+, what do you do? It's like "Oh my God, this is what I want

  • to work on. This is it." If you did not have the insight, the opportunity would just come

  • and go. However, because you had the insight, you catch the opportunity when it's there.

  • Therefore, you're always successful. And then people will think you're very lucky. I mean,

  • you're lucky, but at the same time, you're there to catch your opportunities and you're

  • able to catch opportunities because you have deep knowledge of self. So that's another

  • example of how it changes your life. Very simple practices, changing your life.

  • There's a third one, which is even more profound, which is this: if you experience an emotion,

  • we like to think that our emotions are existential experiences. What does that mean? We like

  • to think the emotion itself, is us. And it reflects in the language that you use. For

  • example, we say, "I am angry. I am sad. I am happy." So the emotion becomes me. I become

  • the emotion. However, as the power of your mind, the sharpness

  • of mind, your resolution, your vividness becomes stronger over time. You discover something

  • about a process of emotion and then you read an emotion in a very subtle way that has a

  • profound change in your life. And that profound change is this: is going from existential

  • to experiential, which means going from "I am angry" to "I'm experiencing anger. I'm

  • experiencing happiness, or sadness, or whatever." What does that change? Now it changes from

  • "I am this, this is me" to "My mind is like a sky." Then emotions are the clouds occupying

  • the mind, but they're not the mind. So that's a powerful shift.

  • But wait, it gets better. For only $9.99-- no. The way it gets better [laughs] which

  • is there is another step you can go. As your attention becomes even more refined, you discover

  • something else, beyond being experiential. You discover that the process of emotion,

  • the experience of emotion is physiological. You experience emotions in the body. Every

  • emotion has a bodily correlate. And then you discover something. You discover

  • that painful emotions are not that different from painful feelings in the body. For example,

  • I hurt my hand. Ow! And then I know this is pain, I know this is unpleasant, but the pain

  • is not me. It is a sensation in my body. Having that perception changes everything. Because

  • it's not me, I can do things about it. I can take Tylenol. I can massage. I can put in

  • ice. Or I can ignore it. Or I can experience it mindfully. Or I can just eat ice cream

  • and forget all about it. And so on. There are things I can do because this experience

  • is not me. It's just an experience in my body. That is the power of this-- oh, I already

  • put it up, okay-- of this change in perception, of framing from existential to physiological.

  • And this is one of those insights that will change; that can change your life. Just one

  • of many in Search Inside Yourself, to change your life. So that is part 2 [pause] which

  • is self-knowledge and self-mastery. You might think, "This is it, this is emotional intelligence."

  • But wait! There is more. It gets better. So there's step 3. By the way, everything

  • I say is incremented improvements. So if you only do one, it's already huge. If you do

  • a second one, it's even huger. And now it's hugest, huger-er. [laughter] Which is creating

  • mental habits. I say "useful mental habits", but specifically, they are habits, they are

  • conducive for social skillfulness. What does that mean? Let me give you a few examples.

  • The first habit that is very conducive to being socially skillful is the habit of kindness,

  • or loving-kindness. That is a habit of looking at any human being, anyone you've never met

  • before. Looking at any human being, my first thought is, "I want this person to be happy."

  • I want this person to be happy: that's just it. Already, you can imagine if you have that

  • mental habit coming effortlessly, it changes everything. You go into a meeting room; you

  • look at everybody, you think, "I want all these people to be happy." It reflects unconsciously

  • in your body, your face, your language, your tone of voice, your facial expression. Because

  • it reflects unconsciously, it's picked up unconsciously by the other person. Their feeling,

  • their perception is, "I like this person. I don't know why. This Meng guy, I really

  • like him. Maybe it's his good looks. I don't know." [laughter] But it's not just the good

  • looks, it's because I'm wishing for this person to be happy. I want Tara to be happy, and

  • Tara can sense it unconsciously. In a situation like meetings and so on, if you have that

  • mental habit all the time, people want to work with you. Then you find yourself becoming

  • successful. You're not clear why. But it's this; it's just simple things like that. So

  • here's one example. The other example is the habit of human similarity.

  • The habit of looking at a human being and thinking, "This person is just like me." But

  • in three specific dimensions, by the way. Not like every way. It's not like Chip and

  • I, like we're so alike only our moms can tell us apart. Not like that. Just like me, three

  • dimensions. The first is looking at any human-- oh, especially

  • in a situation of conflict, this is very useful. Looking at any human being in a situation

  • of conflict, "This is a human being, just like me. This person wants to be happy, just

  • like me. This person wants to be free from suffering, just like me." This is it: three

  • things. Three things alone can do wonders. It changes in the situation of conflict. It

  • changes how you react. It changes how you solve the problem. It creates a possibility

  • of solving the problem. Changes are really what makes you successful.

  • So just a cartoon to show-- there was a right way to do "just like me." A wrong way to do

  • "just like me" would be this. Don't do this. [laughs]

  • Beyond talking, I want to create some things that we can bring home today, that are useful

  • for you already. The first useful practice is mindfulness, bringing attention to the

  • breath. If there's any distraction, to let it go. I want to introduce you to a very simple

  • second practice. Again, it's one of those ten second practices that if you do a lot,

  • will change your life. The practice is a random intention of kindness. The idea is look at

  • any human being at random and think, "I want that person to be happy." That's it. If you

  • want to, I want to invite you to participate. In the next ten seconds, look at two random

  • human beings in this room and just think to yourself, "I want this person to be happy."

  • Okay? Ten seconds. Don't say it, just think it. [pause] Well, this is it. Kind of fun,

  • right? [laughs] Kind of fun. I mean, first it changes your life, you do it a lot. But

  • beyond changing your life, you might find that the intention that you're wanting other

  • people to be happy is intrinsically rewarding. I think it has to do with evolution. Being

  • altru-social beings, wanting the other to be happy, creates the conditions for altru-sociality,

  • for trying to survive. So try this a lot. When you walk out of this room, every hour

  • or so, just look at a random human being and say, "I want that person to be happy." Really

  • think that thought. And make it a habit. Oh, by the way, everything I just told it, these

  • informal practices, there are ways, formal practices, to make them even better. So read

  • the book. [laughs] Again, the question: why does this matter?

  • I wish for people to be happy, helps me succeed. Why does it matter? It matters especially

  • if you're a manager. If you're a leader. There was a study which I found fascinating, which

  • was published in '03. It showed this: in the study, they compared a bunch of managers.

  • They ranked them by effectiveness and they compared the most effective top 25% of managers

  • in the company with the bottom 25% and figured out what difference is between them. It turns

  • out in their study there's only one difference, which is a faction, which is the top managers.

  • They love people and they want to be loved. Somehow that makes them even more effective.

  • It turns out there's a simpler explanation, which is if people love you, they work harder

  • for you. That's it. The quality of the work improves. But knowing the data, it turns out

  • that being loved is good for your career, especially if you're the boss. It's like,

  • "Yeah, yeah, yeah, sounds good, but I'm sure there are limiting situations. I'm sure it

  • doesn't work in the US Navy. It turns out in the US Navy, and this is a study back from

  • 1988. [laughter] A study on what makes the best naval commanders. You think naval people,

  • Navy, they give orders. "Make it so. Engage, fire. [laughs] Go wash the toilet." No, no.

  • You'd think the tough people, the tough guys don't do nice, and so on. Now it turns out,

  • according to this study, it's a famous study, even in the Navy, being nice works. Here it

  • says the description of the most effective naval commanders in the US. They are described

  • as "more positive, outgoing, emotionally expressive, dramatic, warmer, more sociable, appreciative

  • and trustworthy," and so on. In other words, these are nice people, people you want to

  • hang out with. The title of this study is Nice Guys Finish First. So even in the Navy.

  • And just to reinforce the point again, um, a comic: Nice Guys in the Military. [laughter]

  • So this is it. It's very simple. How to train emotional intelligence: three easy steps.

  • You come to SIY, this is it. In seven weeks, we go through this in detail, of course. But

  • these are the three basic steps. So our hope is that when we train emotional

  • intelligence, it helps to become more successful. It helps to become a better leader. And, I

  • think more importantly, I think most importantly, at least to me, is it creates the conditions

  • for happiness. And happiness, I really like this definition, which is "a deep sense of

  • flourishing that arises from exceptionally healthy minds, not the mere passable feeling

  • of fleeting emotion or mood, But an optimal state of being." This is from Matthieu Ricard

  • who is one of the happiest men in the world. There's a story behind it. We shall tell you

  • when we have time. But this is it. What you learn, the emotional skills you learn in Search

  • Inside Yourself are, and in general. The emotional skills, the skill for self-awareness, the

  • skill for mastery over self, the skill for loving-kindness and compassion, ultimately

  • what it does is this: creates the condition for happiness for everybody. I want to create

  • a happy world, so that's what I do. So let me see. There are some more minutes.

  • So does he actually work? We've been running this in Google for about five years. The feedback

  • we get over and over again, which most warms my heart, is this: oh, not the circle. [laughs]

  • The thing inside the circle. Which is "Your class changed my life." That's very powerful,

  • right? I mean, imagine coming to work on a Monday in the office, and you take a class

  • in the office, and it changes your life. And just simple things like what we talked about,

  • like awareness, empathy, and so on. There are different ways people's lives have been

  • changed. Some people say, some of this is purely like career wise. "I got my promotion

  • because of SIY. It gave me the skills that got me my promotion." Some people say, "I

  • was going to leave Google, and then doing SIY I discovered I love my work. I decided

  • to stay." And there are people who say, "My marriage became better. I see myself through

  • kinder sets of eyes. I see people in more kindness." Profound changes in seven weeks.

  • That warms my heart. The last part of this talk is the question

  • of: why did I do this? How did Search Inside Yourself begin? Embarrassingly enough, it

  • began with world peace. [pause] Search Inside Yourself started because I wanted to create

  • the conditions for world peace in my lifetime. The way it started was we have this thing

  • called "20% time project", but for those of you watching on TV, engineers, at least in

  • my days, when I was a young man, we could spend 20% of our time working on whatever

  • project we wanted. I figured since I could do whatever I wanted, I might as well solve

  • the toughest problem I know, which is world peace. I mean, like, mining asteroids; anybody

  • can do that. [laughter] World peace, that is tough. So I started thinking to myself.

  • The first question asked, "What are the necessary and sufficient conditions for world peace?"

  • I figured something out. I figured that the two conditions which are necessary, each one

  • insufficient, but combined maybe sufficient. The first is the end of global poverty. The

  • second is inner peace, inner happiness, and compassion on a global scale. Combined, I

  • think they are necessary and sufficient. Then I figured since Gates and the rich guys are

  • working on the first one, the second one nobody's working on it: I'll work on it. How do I do

  • that? Then after a few months, I figured it out. I figured out that the way to create

  • inner peace, inner happiness, and compassion worldwide is to align it with the success

  • of individuals and businesses. If you can create those qualities in ways that help people

  • succeed at work, that help businesses' bottom lines, that's going to stick. If it's just

  • about goodness, oh, that's kinda nice, go hug a tree. [laughter] But if it's like this

  • thing, this thing will help you get your next three promotions and you will earn the company

  • a lot of money. Oh, by the way, you will create world peace. Okay, so where do I sign up?

  • So the idea, there's a word for it, I'm blanking on it right now. "Upaya": skillful means.

  • Which means that to do something good, do what aligns with the people's self-interest

  • in a way that the goodness is a necessary and unavoidable side effect. Help people succeed

  • in a way where world peace is the unavoidable side effect. That's what I'm trying to do.

  • Good. How do I do that? And then a couple of months of thinking, I figured it out. I

  • figured out the way to do that is to create a curriculum for emotional intelligence for

  • adults. That was how SIY started. That was a story. So, SIY, Search Inside Yourself started

  • or began with the story of one funny little engineer and his pursuit for world peace.

  • I hope that this story will have a funny and happy ending. It's about world peace. I hope

  • for a happy ending. So I set out to write a book. Oh, can I borrow it? I will hold it

  • up. So I set out to write a book that is funny and practical. I hope it's life changing for

  • the readers, and there are a few people who told me it's life changing, just the book

  • alone. I hope you like the book. And more importantly, I hope you change your lives.

  • I hope all of you will aspire to create the conditions for world peace in your lifetimes

  • too. Thank you. [applause]

  • Okay, we have time for questions. Any questions? I guess do we need to use a mike? Okay, yes.

  • Please use a mike. [pause] Oh, we have thirteen minutes. Yes.

  • >>male#1: If I imagine you being happy, I imagine you doing some recreational activity,

  • maybe watching a football game, taking large amounts of your recreational drug of choice,

  • I suppose it's beer. I must be doing it wrong. If I imagine you being happy or most people

  • being happy, just being made happy with the smallest change, I imagine them being completely

  • contented and useless. I don't think I want to do that.

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: That's right. Yeah, me neither. So I tell you my experience, which may or

  • may not be universal. I think it's universal. Which is that I discovered for myself that

  • if I'm in pursuit of happiness, then I'm just doing happiness. Something is holding me back

  • from greater service. However, if I'm already happy, and I feel that I'm free to contribute,

  • and that is how I feel that I can go out and try to change the world. Because if I succeed

  • I don't gain anything, if I fail I don't lose anything. Therefore, I'm free to try. So for

  • me, having a source of happiness that is not dependent on sensory input, having that was

  • actually freeing, and it frees me to do big stuff rather than the other way around. Of

  • course, I don't mind playing golf too. [laughs] Thank you.

  • Yes, you?

  • >>male#2: I have two kinds of questions. This is really not challenging you.

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: Yeah, you're so wise. You ask me questions, I feel humble.

  • >>male#2: This is something that I myself had experienced during my visits here and

  • there. One is that, for example, the talk that you've given right now is really enlightening

  • and wonderful. But I do similar kinds of talks also, so what I normally find is that these

  • kinds of beautiful talks that were are giving, and those who come to listen to these wonderful

  • talks are already good people. So the question is: how can we reach to the dictators? The

  • totally dead and selfish, arrogant people who don't care about any of these things.

  • Many of these people have the power to destroy. This is one question.

  • The second thing is: the many wonderful activities done by Google or many other companies, this

  • is really amazing. I'm completely amazed by the innovative that you have here. But again

  • here the problem is the fruit of all these things that great companies do, they seem

  • to be again enjoyed by educated and rich people. Does it go anywhere on a larger scale to the

  • really, really downtrodden people? I would like to hear you visit on this too.

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I think the first thing to know is that I

  • don't have any wisdom. I'm just trying my best. [laughs] But having said that-- so the

  • first question about reaching the people who are least, what's the word, not susceptible,

  • least receptive to this, which is why is "upaya" is so important. Skillful means. If it's all

  • about "Let's bring goodness to the world", I think people in this room and people in

  • Google say, "Sign me up." But there are people who would not sign up. But if it's about profits,

  • that's when I want to hook people to sign up. To say, "Everybody wants to make more

  • money, especially those who are the least receptive to goodness." However, if the money

  • comes with being good: "It's money, right? Okay, I'll be good."

  • How about reaching people, the downtrodden people? Right now, I don't know. I have a

  • theory. I want to say the Buddhists are expressing in Buddhist terms. Then I translate it to

  • real world terms. The Buddhist term is that I think America, like Google in general, I

  • mean, we're particular in California and so on. We are heaven, and I hope that for the

  • work that we do, we turn heaven into pure land. In other words, for those who didn't

  • understand what I just said, we transform a place of pleasure and happiness into a source

  • of goodness for the rest of the world. So for those who don't know, pure land is not

  • a place where you're happy, pure land is a place where you practice and become compassionate

  • and enlightened. I'm hoping that through the work that we do that compassion will spread,

  • at least in America, and through that, the world will benefit in some good way. I'm just

  • guessing, I don't know.

  • >>male#3: This question is about reaching another group of people. Can you write one

  • for my ten year old son?

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: Maybe.

  • >>male#3: How do we reach children

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: Maybe. I don't know. I think this book may be readable by ten years old

  • already. Let me know.

  • >>male#3: I'll try. [laughs]

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: I'm actually thinking of writing a children's book, but it would not

  • be as deep as this.

  • >>male#3: Get him started. Get him started, that's a good thing.

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: Thank you.

  • >>male#4: You almost answered the question actually just now, but I still-- and maybe

  • you have some other thoughts on this. Is there no hope for people to actually realize that

  • happiness is a value by itself, not through career advancements or money? Is there no

  • hope at all in you to let people understand that happiness is a value by itself?

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: I think there's a lot of hope. I'll tell how optimistic, how naively

  • optimistic I am. Can I? I'm so optimistic that that topic-- that there is a source of

  • happiness accessible to normal human beings with mental training, and that source for

  • happiness is independent of sensual pleasure. I'm so optimistic it's in Chapter 3. [laughs]

  • So near the beginning of the book. So I do think it is doable, and I think given the

  • right way the message is spoken, spoken with signs, spoken tangibly and not just "Oh, you're

  • happy." But these are the specific practices, this is what it does to you, and so on. Spoken

  • in the right language with the right data, I think you can reach masses and I think people

  • get it. I hope. Thank you. Sorry I keep stealing the books.

  • Good thing-- I don't know, it's kinda scary to take things from monks because they know

  • kung fu or something. [laughter] Just kidding. So if you see me like "Krrr!", then...

  • >>male#5: You promised us the story of the happiest man in the world if there is enough

  • time. Is there enough time?

  • >>Oh! There is now time, okay. Since there's nobody behind you, I'll tell the story. So

  • the story-- it turns out that neurologically, there is a way to measure happiness, which

  • is very surprising. It's a very simple way which is they measure the relative activation

  • of the left prefrontal cortex over here, a specific part of the brain. And then versus

  • the right prefrontal cortex. It turns out that if the left-right tilt, if it's more

  • left than right, the first person experiences "I'm happy, I'm optimistic, I'm joyful" and

  • so on. Positive stuff. And the more the grade is, the more positive the person's reports.

  • And vice versa. Why is that so? Nobody knows for sure, but

  • there is a very important clue, which is only the left prefrontal cortex here has a direct

  • connection to the amygdala. So only that part has the ability to tone down the negativity.

  • This part doesn't have that. It's not clear why. There is a relationship. This data has

  • been around long enough, has been studied for long enough, that there is a normal curve,

  • a thing established on what most people look like. The distribution. And Matthieu Ricard,

  • when he was measured, he was a couple of standard deviations away from the mean. So at that

  • time, he was the happiest person ever measured by science. Again, that's the good news, but

  • again there's better news. The better news is that it turns out he was not the only one.

  • It turns out that as long as you put in your hours of practice, you can reach the state

  • of extreme happiness. That is a reason, voluntarily without sensual input. On demand. And I suspect

  • all the geishas have that ability, but they just don't want to tell you. They're very

  • humble. They also have kung fu or something. [laughter] They can use the Force.

  • Yes, Joe?

  • >>Joe: Hello Meng. Thank you so much for this talk. It was very enlightening.

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: Thank you.

  • >>Joe: So I know that SIY, the Search Inside Yourself, course is offered here at Google.

  • But if I were a company that was really needing the sorts of tools that you're offering in

  • this book, how would I be able to obtain them if I weren't here at Google?

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: There is good news, which is--it sounds like a planted question. But

  • I didn't plant it, somebody else did. [laughter] If he also planted the question he asked,

  • "You're so good looking. How do you do that?" [laughs] Okay.

  • >>Joe: Also, if I want to look as good as you, how do I do that? [laughter]

  • >>Chade-Meng Tan: Study engineering. [laughter] All the engineers are good looking. Didn't

  • you notice? So how do you access this outside of Google?

  • We are creating an organization called the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute,

  • SIYLI. It's pronounced as "silly." [laughs] [scattered applause] Siyli.org. We're going

  • to train trainers and bring this out to the world. So if you're watching this from outside

  • of Google and you're interested, go to siyli.org and find more information.

  • And I guess that's it. Nothing else. Thank you all for coming. Thank you all for being

  • my friends. I'm so happy to have you. Thank you. [applause]

>>Chip Conley: Hello everybody. Welcome. My name is Chip Conley. I'm not Bill Clinton

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陳哲明:《搜索自己的內心》,作者在谷歌 (Chade-Meng Tan: "Search Inside Yourself", Authors at Google)

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