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  • [Intro Music]

  • [Applause]

  • Hello! I'm here to talk about my friend Jude. My friend Jude inspired me. She was a daughter,

  • a sister, a friend, a crazy haired artist, a people magnet. She lived big and she lived well.

  • But it was the way she died that inspired me.

  • I saw Jude for the last time, only hours before she died, three months ago. She insisted

  • I come that Sunday, "before I pop my clocks", she said and we spent the afternoon together

  • and her now slightly slower version of chain smoking and we reminisced about her life

  • as an artist and her life living with cancer.

  • In many ways, it was an ordinary afternoon. So I had no idea that Jude had told her family

  • that this very day was the day she was going to die. But this is not a morbid story.

  • Jude grabbed hold of the experience of dying in the same way she grabbed hold of her living.

  • And one of the ways that she did that was by going to her beloved Bondi Beach every

  • morning for a walk, and she did that till days before she died. And as it turned out

  • she didn't die that Sunday, she died the next day. Monday morning, at home, where she planned,

  • surrounded by her dearest friends and her brother Paul.

  • I think mostly we have become out of practice with everyday dying. Out of practice with

  • the doing and the talking of death.

  • And while the way Jude died isn't what everyone will or should do. It is an example of how

  • to live well and how to die in a way that reflects this.

  • Until her last breath, Jude actively surrounded herself with the everyday business of family,

  • friends, food, art and love and even here at her funeral ceremony in a Surry Hills Art

  • Gallery we painted and filled her coffin while the latest exhibition hung around us.

  • Why does this inspire me? Well, Jude didn't subscribe to the, "we are a death denying society"

  • line and neither do I. We are surrounded by images and messages about death. Mostly they

  • are portrayed as fearful, unnatural and violent. Jude reminds us that death doesn't always

  • need to be like this and I hope that Jude might inspire you.

  • Talk, prepare, plan for the inevitable because the fact is, most of us will not be surprised by death.

  • We will die everyday deaths through illness and old age and we have time to prepare for our dying.

  • So I encourage you. Have a conversation with the people in your life who are dying, learn

  • from them. Talk to your family about your wishes, talk about organ donation, talk about

  • whether or not you want to be cremated or buried in the earth or even in the sea.

  • Ask about palliative care and what it can offer you or a loved one. Ask yourself, "how do I

  • want to be remembered?". Because dying is the last thing you are going to do in your life.

  • Talk about death, talk about dying. It won't kill you.

  • [Laughter and applause]

  • Thank you.

[Intro Music]

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【TEDx】TEDxSydney - Kerrie Noonan - My Friend Jude (【TEDx】TEDxSydney - Kerrie Noonan - My Friend Jude)

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    阿多賓 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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