this'llsweateriswhat I wouldwearif I was a ninetiescartooncharacter.
Thisiswhat I wouldwearif I was a Bernsteinbear.
OrisitBernstein?
I remembermymomgavemeBernsteinBarrie's bookswhen I wastooyoungto, like, reallyknowhowtoread.
I onlyknewmaybelike, ah, 100 words.
So I wouldjust, like, sittherepretendingtoreadthebookandbelike, Oh, yeah, I canunderstandAndmymomwouldbelike, Oh, you'resosmart, AshleyLittledidsheknow?
I hadnoideawhatthefuckwasgoingon.
Anyways, thisletterisdreamy.
I haveitonwith a little a whiteskirtrightnowandmyequallyninetiesinspiredsneakers.
I havebeenlookingfor a band T forsosolong.
It's theperfectBanti.
I reallywantedoneinblack.
I likethelittleReddetailingonitalsohas, likethethetourlistontheback.
Clearly, I didnotgointothatmanyconcerts.
I don't knowhowthisshitworks.
I alsogotthislittlepersonwhichissocuteandboxy.
Granted, itonlyholdsyourwallet, yourphone.
A verysmallnotebook, a smallmurderweaponofchoicerope, a lighttravelsizedbottleofchloroform.
Butyouknow, that's that's allyoureallyneed.
Anyway, I thoughtitwasjustlikethemostadorablelittleboxysilhouette I love.
A goodlittleaccentpurse, I think, wouldlooksupercutewiththissincethere's a littleredaccentontheroses.
AndthenyoucouldgofullAmericanaandsay, I lovetheUnitedStatesandthefactthatit's stilldebatingwhether a womanhavetherighttocontroltheirownbodies.
Okay, I didnotrealizehowitchythiswasgonnabewhen I boughtit.
I sawthisatthethriftstore, and I waslike, Ohmygosh, it's socute.
It's sovintage.
Itlookslike I'm readytosingyou a ChristmasCarolinthe 19 fifties, youknow?
But I thinkitwillstillbereallycuteaslike a chordagainoveranoutfit I love.
OhmyGod, it's sofuckingedgy.
ThisstuffisfromanotheroneofmyfavoriteInstagramshopsandohmygosh, itissoextraand I loveit.
I feellike I'm readytogoonlike a swashbucklingadventure.
I feellike I'm ChristopherColumbus, butinlike a chicwaythatdoesn't involvekillinganddisplacinghundredsofthousandsofNativeAmericans.
So I got a couplethingsfromRedOut.
Threatupisbasicallylike a giantonlinethriftstore, anditis a greatoption.
I'm likesquattingreally, really, reallylike a waltz.
Itpeopleaskmeallthetimewhichforitsstores, I gotoyoubecausethey'relike I couldneverfindgoodstuffinmyfirststory.
It's just a bunchof, like, weird, Forever 21 cat T shirtsfrom 2005 and I feelthegirlforthelongesttime.
I didnotliveinyourgoodforstorestuff.
Thatthreatupis a greatoffice, andit's also a greatwaytobesustainableandaffordablenomatterwhereyoulive.
Oh, sothefirstthingthat I gotfromfoodupisactuallythisoutfit, so I gotthesegenesfromthem.
Thesearebelieveitornotreformationteens.
Sotheseare, like, kindof, ah, bigriseGene.
Andthentheyflareoutatthebottomofthesewereoriginallyestimatedtocost $150 I gotthemfor 75.
I havebeenlookingfor a toplikethisforsolong, and I haveseenthislittlelikechaindetailoneshouldersituationat, Liketheraggedpriest I'veseenanUrbanOutfittersat, like a lotofreallytrendystores.
But I didn't wanttospend, like, $50 onwhatisessentiallyonesquarefootoffabric.
Youknow, thistopisfromthebrandTheLimited.
Itwasoriginallyestimatedtocostaround $45 I gotitfor 15.
I callthislettermykneegirl's letterbecause I haveneverfeltmorelike a plastic.
Itissobright, payingsolike 2000 butin a really, reallycoolway.
I paireditwith a littleminiskirt, ofcourse, because I thinkthatiswhatReginaGeorgewouldapproveof.
I stillrememberwatchingthatmoviewhen I waslittleandlikethescenewherethey'relike 10 yearold B wasjustlikeWhoarefeelingthegirlfromLegallyBlonde?
I neverthought I wouldlikethemovieLegallyBlondebecause I thoughtitwaslikeaboutbeingstupid.
But I feellikeit's reallyaboutbeingfemaleandunderestimated.
Soit's notlikethemostuptodatecharacterstudyof a womaninlawschool, right?
But I wasstillprettyfunandmoreempoweringthan I initiallyexpectedof.
I'm notsureiftheywerebeingracistorgenuinelyjusttalkingabouttheundertonesinmyskin, But I thinkthisworksonbecause I amonepalemotherfuckers.
Speakingofthecoloryellow, I alsopickedupthistalk, whichis a totaldadtop.
I gotitfrom a men's sectionofthethriftstore.
I feelreadyto, likebarbecuewiththekids.
Conner, stopeatingthegrass.
Butifyoujusttieup a littleendshere, youhaveyourselflike a littleolddrapeycroppedoffsituation.
I mean, I stilllooklike a dadbarbecuing, but I looklike I looklike a dealforbarbecuingnow, ifyouknowwhat I'm saying.
Thatwasweird, huh?
I'm, like, notinto, like, reallyoldguys.
Butareyoudatingsomebody?
Andyourealizethatthey'regonnalookreallyhotas a dad?
Youknow, maybethat's justbecauseDavid, like, kindoflookslike a dadalready, butlike I thinkhe'llhe'llbeveryhandsomewhenhegrowsupaswell.
Ok, onwiththecrystal.
So I gotthislike 90 inspiredcoursesetminidress I amobsessedwithlikethisallaround.
Um, boning.
I thinkitletsgo.
Wecouldalluse a littleextraboning.
Everysooften.
Thisdresskindofremindsmeofsomethingthat, likeKendallJennerorBellaHadidwouldwearto a redcarpeteventorlike a nightout, they'd bewearingthemostridiculousstrappythighhighbootswithit.
Andyeah, I mean, I don't haveKendallJenner's body, but I lovemybodyasitis.
I'm stillworkingonthebodypositivitything.
We'llgetthereoneday.
Um, I alsogotthisjacket.
Atfirstyou'relike, Okay, that's kindof a weird, oversized, leatheryjacket, Ashley.
Butit's IndianaJones.
Weirdleatherinjected.
I'm justsocuriouswhatthestoryisbehindit.
Like, didsomebodygoout?
Buythisjacket?
IndianaJonesembroideredonitbecause, likethisis a heavyleatherjacket.
Didtheybuyitfromlike a veryexpensivegiftshop?
Or, morelikely, werethey a castorcrewmemberonIndianaJones?