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For the Galápagos tortoises, numbers are an issue
they won't have to worry about for a while,
and it's all thanks to one hero.
A giant tortoise credited with saving a species
is being returned to its home in the wild.
Diego, a Galápagos giant tortoise,
is jokingly called a playboy, because he spent 40 years
helping to repopulate his species.
When he started in the program, he was one of two males
and 12 females left on the island.
Now there are more than 2,000.
-WOMAN 2: Oh! -WOMAN: Well done, Diego.
WOMAN 2: Yeah.
WOMAN: Experts estimate 40% of those tortoises
are related to him.
Now he's headed to his native island
of Espanola in March to retire,
'cause he's exhausted!
(laughter)
(cheers and applause)
Thank you for your service, Diego.
This is an amazing story.
This hero turtle turned the population
of less than 20 tortoises into 2,000!
Just look at him in the water there, huh?
-Cooling his balls off. -(laughter)
You earned it, buddy!
And let this be a lesson to kids out there.
If someone tells you to go out and practice safe sex,
you tell them, "No, I want to be like Diego the (bleep) turtle!"
(laughter)
(applause)
No, I'm joking. Safe sex, safe sex.
I'm joking. Come on.
I've got to be honest. You know, when I first heard this story,
Diego reminded me
of those uncles in the hood that you'd hear about.
You know, where people would be chatting like,
"You heard how many kids Diego got? 2,000!
-"For real?" -"For real!"
I heard he ran away to an island to avoid child support.
(laughter)
Also, I love how Diego is the hero of the story
and not the females, who actually gave birth
-to 2,000 babies! -(cheering, applause)
Who's running this, the Oscar voters?
Now, look, jokes aside, Diego did help repopulate the species,
but he wasn't the only turtle responsible
for fathering the 2,000 kids.
Yeah, there was another turtle who helped Diego out,
and he retired to the Senate.