None of your barnyard friends can hear you underground.

頭目「把你困在地下室裡， 你那些農場好朋友就聽不到了。」

You're going to tell us everything.

「現在不管要花多長時間都可以。

no matter how long it takes.

還不快把你所有知道的事從實招來！」

(a hint of a chuckle)

（一陣輕笑）

where to begin?

健雄「要從哪裡說起呢？」

Long ago, the entire universe was smaller than the head of a pin...

「在很久以前，那時整個宇宙 遠比大頭針的頭還要小...」

Your comedy needs much work!

頭目「你說笑話功力還真爛呀！」

My interrogator has a side gig doing stand-up.

拷問你的人剛好副業是做脫口秀的

He can coach you in between beatings!

他可以一邊揍你， 一邊教你講笑話啦

[distant yodel]

[遠處的約德爾歌聲]

[explosion of feathers, door impact and tumbling guard]

[爆出的羽毛，被撞開的們和滾地的守衛]

We're doin a rescue! CHICKEN TIME!!

弟子「我們來救你了！咕咕雞時間！」

You fool!

健雄「笨蛋！」

That's not a chicken ninja!

「那才不是雞雞忍者

It's a chicken accountant!

是雞雞會計師

Am I doing everybody's taxes here?

雞會計「我是要幫這裡所有人查稅嗎？

Because I have a 2'o'clock and I can NOT be late.

因為我兩點還有約，我不能遲到。」

It appears you are not fit to be a teacher.

頭目「似乎你做為一個導師還不太稱職啊」

Takeo-san, could you re-do it? Can you make him a ninja?

弟子「健雄先生，你還能再唱一次 把他變成忍者嗎？」

I can not.

健雄「我辦不到。」

Once you create a chicken accountant

「一旦你叫出了雞會計師

he remains that way until the next fiscal year.

不到下一個會計年度是不會消失的。」

[knuckles cracking, swelling of ominous music]

[折關節喀喀聲，不祥的音樂漸大]

I'm sorry, Takeo-san...

弟子「對不起健雄先生

I failed you.

我讓你失望了。」

Failure is only a part of training.

健雄「失敗只是訓練的一部分。」

I...kinda feel like this might all be my fault

雞會計「我...有點覺得這好像是我的錯

sooo I'm not gonna bill you.

所以就不跟你們收錢了。」

[chair squeak]

[椅子吱吱聲]

we're done for...down here there's no bird or beast that could save us

弟子「我們完蛋了...沒有鳥獸可以下來救我們」

This is planet Earth.

健雄「這裡也是地球的一部份。

You can't escape life, even in the bleakest dungeon.

即使在最黑暗的地牢，也不會了無生機。」

Now be quiet and listen.

「現在保持安靜並豎起耳朵仔細聽。」

[Takeo hums a lilting melody]

[健雄哼著輕快的旋律]

[a rat squeaks from behind the walls]

[老鼠從牆後發出吱吱聲]

[Takeo's hum beckons the rat]

[健雄的哼聲吸引了老鼠]

[the rat squeaks closer]

[老鼠吱吱聲靠近了一點]

[sung] When you're far away from home

[歌] 即使離家千里

Just hum this melody

只要哼起這旋律

You'll know you're not alone

你就會發現你並不孤單

You'll seeeeeeeee

你會看見~~~~~~

A tiny hairy friend

一個小小的毛茸茸朋友

Will help you on your way

半路衝出來幫助你~~

They've come to save us

他們來拯救我們了

Noble, magic rats

偉大的神奇鼠鼠

The smallest are the bravest

小小一隻卻一身是膽

They always have your back

在背後為你撐腰

What's that noise?

「那是什麼聲音？」

What's that??

「哪泥？？」

Kill them!

「殺了他們！」

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TIME

海扁時間到~

GET IN LINE

排好隊

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TIIIIIIME

乖乖挨揍~

[ancient yodel of justice and comeuppance]

[正義與制裁的古老約德爾歌唱]

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TIME

海扁時間到~

When you think you're by yourself

若你覺得孤身一人

Just know they're all around

要記得他們無處不在

Always there to help

隨時隨地伸出援爪

When you're down

在沮喪時拉你一把

And even when you sleep

甚至在你睡夢中

They watch over you

也有他們的守候

From within 20 feet

在六公尺內看顧著你

It's true

我說真的

They've come to save us

他們來救我們了

Noble, magic rats

偉大的神奇鼠鼠

The smallest are the bravest

小小一隻，卻一身是膽

They always have your back

在背後為你撐腰

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TAHHHHHHHHHH-IME

海扁時間到~

GET IN LAHHHH-INE

排好隊

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TAHHHHH-IME

乖乖挨揍~

[ancient yodel of peace, justice, and wisdom]

[和平、正義與智慧的古老約德爾歌唱]

It's whoop-ass time

海扁時間到~

Some people don't like rats

有些人不喜歡鼠鼠

Because they hang out in trash

因為他們在垃圾裡走跳

But they're helping you with your pizza crust

但他們會處理你不吃的披薩邊

So you should fucking relax

所以你他媽是在驚三小？

Congratulations, I suppose.

頭目「我想，我該恭喜你們」

You have assaulted my employees

頭目「你不只攻擊了我的員工，

and finally cornered me, an innocent businessman

還把我這個無辜的企業家逼得走投無路」

Everyone will think your accusations are the raving of a madman.

「大家都會把你對我的指控 當成是瘋子的胡說八道吧。」

If speaking truth makes me mad

健雄「如果說出事實會被當成瘋子

then being mad makes me happy.

那我做個瘋子也甘願。」

SHUT UP!

頭目「給我閉嘴！」

You're the fanatic who carries chickens everywhere!

「你這個到處遛雞雞的瘋狂遛鳥俠！」

Look! Takeo-san!

雞會計「快看！健雄先生！」

Great news!

「好消息！」

I cross-referenced the ledgers with the returns

「我交叉比對了他申報的總帳

Turns out his business has been evading taxes for six years

原來他的企業逃了整整六年的稅」

Not a great idea to write off $50,000 in Billy Joel tickets

「註銷了150萬塊的比利喬演唱會門票 真的很不明智啊」

I guess chicken accountants...AREN'T at the bottom of the pecking order

「我想雞雞會計師... 才不是啄食順序（社會階級）的最底層咧」

[laughing that sounds like a chicken-human hybrid, a veritable wonder of nature and magic]

[混合雞叫與人聲的笑聲， 名副其實就是大自然與魔法的奇蹟]

Fucking chickens, man!

頭目「操你媽小雞雞！」

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TAHHHHHHH-IME

海扁時間到~ ※紐約新聞報：古董大亨兼慈善家被捕

GET IN LINE

排好隊~ ※告示排金曲榜： 打擊犯罪義行吸引全球目光， 石井健雄名列百強單曲榜前三名

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TAHH-IME

乖乖挨揍吧~ ※告示排金曲榜： 打擊犯罪義行吸引全球目光， 石井健雄名列百強單曲榜前三名

[ancient yodel of justice, balance, and goodness]

[正義，平衡且良善的古老約德爾歌唱] ※國家巨石雜誌：老鼠之戰成為過去？ 紐約市聲稱家鼠不會產生問題， 甚至還能解決問題。

It's whoop-ass time

[正義，平衡且良善的古老約德爾歌唱] ※華爾街匯報：企業大亨名聲掃地， 遭大都會藝術博物館除名