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  • Hey, guys.

  • And welcome to a wholesome ass conversation about sex.

  • I am so excited to film this video because, I mean, you guys probably know based on the number of sexual references that are in my video, I have to like George around there a little bit.

  • Oh, she's a scorer.

  • And by magic, I mean hours and hours of editing and all those X.

  • But I am a huge proponent of being open and honest about sex.

  • So I'm gonna be dispelling all of my sexual wisdom onto you guys today losing your virginity, masturbation, casual sex, the whole shebang.

  • I have so many topics to cover in this video.

  • So let's just dive on right in.

  • Kiddos, I shouldn't call you kiddos.

  • This is a This is a sexual video.

  • We're all consenting adults here.

  • Before we jump into any of the other sections of this video, I just wanted to talk briefly about societal conceptions about sex and how they've affected me and how I think they affect a lot of woman.

  • Over the past couple of decades, our society has made so much progress in terms off making women feel more comfortable with their sexual choices, but I feel like we still have such a long way to go today.

  • It's all about woman being sexually empowered, but it's always this undercurrent of Oh, you have to be sexually empowered.

  • But you can't be slutty, You know, it's like you can only have so much sex.

  • You can't take it too far.

  • And on the other side of things with casual sex and hook up culture, there's also this pressure to be sexually experienced and to be able to have casual sex without getting emotionally attached.

  • Really, none of it matters.

  • It's all societal construct.

  • So please just do you, fam however much we'll have our little or have her late or early.

  • You have sex as long as it is consensual and you're having a good time.

  • That is all that matters, even though I like to think of myself as like a kick ass feminist badass lady who doesn't give a fuck about society's standards.

  • You know, they really do get to you because I've grown up with those messages my entire life when I was a freshman in college and I felt ready to have sex for the first time with my first boyfriend.

  • I had this like It was an uncontrollable feeling of shame and guilt.

  • And it wasn't because I didn't feel ready to have sex or because I didn't feel safe with my boyfriend.

  • Why didn't feel comfortable in my body?

  • I think all the subliminal messaging over the years had really built up in my head telling me that if I lost my virginity, I'd be a different woman.

  • I'd be impure.

  • People around me would suddenly know or like I'd somehow be a worse person.

  • It was such a mind.

  • Fuck.

  • I literally cried in my dead because I was so conflicted.

  • And I think a lot of girls go through this because there's so much pressure.

  • I mean, it's called losing your virginity.

  • It sounds like a part of you is going to go missing.

  • That frustrates me even to say, because obviously your value is not determined by how much or how little sex that you have.

  • Sex is your business and nobody else's.

  • And after I lost my virginity, nobody looked at me differently.

  • Nobody treated me differently.

  • I didn't feel any different.

  • It was just like a new experience that I had gained and it's a new part of life that I could enjoy.

  • Even after I was having sex pretty regularly, I felt like every time I had sex, I was using up a finite number of sexual experiences I had before I became loose and undesirable in my vagina just deteriorated into Bush, which is not at all true.

  • My vagina has done a lot in her day, and she's still going strong.

  • I personally and our society as a whole has a long way to go in terms of associating how many times you have sex with whom you have sex with your worth as a woman.

  • I've even seen it in the ways that my friends talk about sex.

  • Oh, I slept with this guy, but trust me, I don't sleep with that many guys or I only let him go down on me.

  • But trust me like I didn't have sex with him, as if that is some type of defense to their character and that they're not one of the slutty girls.

  • Now I try to be a lot more careful about the way that I talk about sex, never giving these caveats for myself.

  • No, I like having sex.

  • I have sex and women who have sex more or less than they are equally amazing humans, you know.

  • So with that out of the way, one of the first topics I want to talk about was masturbation.

  • Kind of like humped things around the house when I was younger, but I didn't realize it was a sexual thing until later on.

  • I've said this in another video, but in my sex ed class in middle school they took the guys outside and talk to them about masturbation, and they left the girls inside the classroom and didn't tell us shit.

  • And they never gave us a lesson on it.

  • Later, it was just like, Hey, guys, here is a lesson about jerking it off and then girls like, good fucking luck.

  • I would masturbate in high school, but I felt a lot of shame about it.

  • I felt like so dirty afterwards, and I was like, Oh, my God, I can't believe I did that like you're such a piece of shit.

  • And I would never talk to anybody about it.

  • Like when guys in my high school realized that female masturbation was a big my friends would like ask me if I did it and I was always like, Oh, no, because I felt like it was too taboo to talk about.

  • So I want to let you guys Oh, that masturbation is completely normal and cool.

  • This is gonna get very personal.

  • But when I was younger, I also would only rub the Clint or like home things.

  • I wouldn't put my fingers into my vagina because I thought that it would like, stretch me out and make me too loose and therefore, like, decrease my sexual value later in life, which is not true, honey, like you can put some fingers out there and you're doing fine.

  • And it probably would have made losing my virginity a little bit less painful if I had a kind of experimented around with myself.

  • First, a poly would have made me better at sex and enjoy it.

  • More Masturbation is also a great way to figure out you know what's going on down there, what you like, what gets you off because you know, the female organs are a little bit complicated and they never really teach you that in school, and everybody's is a little bit different, but great.

  • Once you start having sex with other people to know what you like, where you can direct them if they're going down on you, I sound like a fucking ad for masturbation.

  • Let's talk about porn real quick.

  • I grew up on a lot of tumbler porn, which is now banned from their sights.

  • So thanks a lot, Tumbler.

  • You can now only see male presenting nipples on their website and no female presenting nipples.

  • Tumbler was a really good place for me to kind of dip a toe into porn because there is a lot of aggressive and hard core porn out there.

  • There's also a site called Walesa, which is full of curated female friendly porn.

  • It's generally pretty high production quality they focus on like female orgasms.

  • It's nothing too aggressive or misogynistic, like a lot of male focused porn can be.

  • So that is a great place if you're looking for, like, some safe content to masturbate to.

  • A lot of people I know are also a fan of amateur porn because it depicts sex so much more realistically, especially when I was younger and I was watching porn, but I hadn't had sex, yet it really can shape the way that you expect sex to be.

  • I thought that woman always had to be super sexy, like moaning all time back, arched ass out, you know, And that's not really how sex is like, you know it's not.

  • It's not perfected the moans or not always that loud.

  • The dicks are not always that big.

  • I started out with lesbian Foreign, actually, because I felt like I was a lot more gentle because I hadn't had sex yet.

  • I didn't understand what the sensation of like Penetration really was about, so we just looked like it hurt.

  • So, yeah, I started watching lesbian porn, and then from there, I kind of gradually explored my porn preferences.

  • Honestly, I used to be really unattractive to penises.

  • I was just like, I don't like how dicks look where they're weird.

  • They're ugly.

  • I literally never looked at my first boyfriend's Penis for, like, extended periods of time because I just was like you.

  • That's kind of groups, so it would be like a couple years to actually enjoy the view of a Penis.

  • But if you find straight forward a little bit aggressive to start out with lesbian porn is also, like, pretty sexy in my opinion.

  • Next up, let's talk about losing your V card.

  • Okay, the sexual debut that's cheesy.

  • I don't think that sexual debut will catch on, but I really hate the term losing your virginity.

  • I've recommended trying sex for the first time with somebody you've known for a little while you trust and respects you and is really gonna be looking out for you and make sure that you feel good and that you feel safe because that's what sex is all about.

  • My first time was actually quite painful because I hadn't even really stuck my fingers up there before.

  • I hadn't put a tampon in like nothing had gone up my vagina before.

  • He kind of just like, fingered me for a little bit and then had sex with a couple more sessions of like fingering or going down on me.

  • To get me used to that sensation would have been good.

  • But obviously that's not his fault.

  • It's also my fault for not knowing what to ask for.

  • I hope this is common knowledge by now.

  • But say it with me kids, your Hyman since always great when you have sex and a little membrane that stretched out and it has a hole in it.

  • So if you masturbate, if you put a tampon up there, it's not necessarily going to shatter your high man.

  • You know, you're not gonna, like, lose your virginity to a tampon.

  • That's another thing that typically will bleed and call it a little bit of pain the first time it stretched out, which tends to be the first time you have penetrative sex, but it can be stretched out like riding a bike doing sports.

  • So don't worry if you don't bleed, but just in case.

  • Probably put like a little towel down there so you don't ruin the bedsheets my time and did do the bleeding thing.

  • But honestly, it wasn't that painful.

  • I give it like a three out of 10 and if you're properly warmed up and moved, really, losing your virginity does not have to be that painful.

  • Let's talk about contraception.

  • Yeah, the people that I grew up with, you know, they don't they will have protected sex that I came to college and I met some people that were like, Oh no, look, nobody uses condoms.

  • It's like completely normal to have unprotected sex.

  • And I was like, What the fuck?

  • No matter what the kids are saying these days, nothing is cooler than not getting an S t I and not getting an unwanted pregnancy.

  • So please be safe, kiddo.

  • Zordon Rose did a really thorough video about all of the different forms of contraception.

  • There is the pill.

  • There is Judy's.

  • There is even a little injection that you could get in your arms, and I personally have not tried out too many different ones.

  • I pretty much always used condoms, which I know we're not 100% effective.

  • Last year I did try the NuvaRing for a couple months, but it really messed with my emotions, like I was probably the most depressed that I've ever been.

  • I really didn't feel like myself, and it took me three months to figure out that it might be correlated to the birth control, which I just I just hate that I lost, like, three months of the fucking new veteran because I was such a sad being back then, and that's not to scare you guys away from it.

  • I know the new ring works really great for some people, and it was super low maintenance, so I like that about it.

  • Also, for the longest time, I always expected a guy to have a condom on him, but it's nice to always be prepared.

  • Just get yourself a box, put it under your bed, just in case.

  • If you do end up having unprotected sex.

  • First of all, no, that prick, um, can get you pregnant.

  • It depends on the guy, but there is a small chance that you'll get pregnant, even if he pulls out.

  • Secondly, Plan B is a great option if there is some type of mistake.

  • If the condom breaks, it is sucking expensive.

  • It's like $50 1 of the most friggin millennial experiences I've ever had was the morning after going to Rite Aid with a guy getting him to buy Plan B and then then mowing him back at half the cost of it.

  • So that wasn't a fun time.

  • Next, let's talk about casual sex, which is something that I don't hear a lot of YouTubers talking about.

  • I enjoy both relationships and casual sex.

  • Honestly, some of the best sex that I've had has come from people off of dating APS from people that I didn't know that well.

  • But I also had great sex in relationships.

  • Most of my casual sexual experiences have been off the good old tender.

  • You guys know that I am quite the dating app connoisseur.

  • The way I like to go about it, to make sure that I feel safe and I feel comfortable with a guy is always message for a little bit first, usually a couple of days to a week.

  • Then we'll go out on a date.

  • The day doesn't have to be something too long and complicated and romantic if you really are just looking to hit it and quit it if you know what I'm saying.

  • I've always been open to dating and casual sex, kind of at the same time, so I like at least opening the door for a chance for a little bit of romance or a little bit of connection.

  • Even if you don't end up having a romantic connection with them, it can't just be a fun time to try something new in your city to hang out with somebody and learn about their life feel more comfortable with a make sure they're not a serial killer is always nice.

  • If I've had a good time having sex with a guy, I'd like to, you know, invite him back for a second row over time, having a casual sex relationship can have some benefits because you get to know each other's bodies better.

  • You feel more comfortable.

  • You can explore like kinks what positions you like, what music you like, et cetera.

  • Even though hookup culture in college and especially in L.

  • A, sometimes makes it harder to get a long term relationships to really connect with people.

  • I'm also grateful for how much it's let me explore my sexuality and my body and how different people have sex.

  • Sex is kind of like learning any other skill in life.

  • The more you do it, and the more different experiences you have, the more you know what you like and the better you can get at it.

  • There's so much pressure on guys.

  • Thio always know what they're doing and really like rock your world sexually.

  • But it's equally my responsibility to make sure that the guy has a good time and we're both putting an effort, if that makes sense.

  • When I started out, I was quite the starfish because I didn't really know what to do with my body.

  • I would kind of just lay there and be like This is what sex is.

  • Come and get it, boys, not sex For me now is a lot more fun when I put more effort in as much as a guy is trying to make me feel good, I want to make a guy feel good.

  • Oh, related to that.

  • I, for the longest time, did not want to give a blow job.

  • I actually had sex.

  • And then six months later, I think I gave my first job.

  • As I mentioned before, I really was not attracted to the Penis.

  • But I also thought of giving a blow job is something that was so degrading.

  • And, as you know, the feminist lady I am.

  • I was like, Oh, I refused to service a guy because I have too much pride in myself.

  • Important, it often is depicted as something that is so degrading.

  • A guy getting this sense of accomplishment or superiority over a girl who gave him a blowjob, and I didn't want to subject myself to that.

  • But eventually I realized that sex isn't this power play.

  • It's not me and somebody else trying to get the better of each other.

  • It's really about two people coming together and having a good time and caring about each other and pleasuring one another.

  • Obviously, you could never feel pressured to give a blow job blow job Still aren't my favorite sensation in the world you have Choking on a dick is like not always the funnest, but I can't respect it as part of the foreplay process.

  • It's kind of cool to be able to give your partner this certain type of pleasure.

  • And if he goes down on you, it's also cool to get that type of pleasure in return.

  • I think as long as it's reciprocal, as long as it's respectful or else I could be a really great part of sex, I heard the advice that you need to play hard to get and that you shouldn't have sex on the first date because otherwise the guy's never gonna come back.

  • I legitimately tried that for a while.

  • I was like not having luck in the dating scene, So I was like, I'm going to decide to not have sex with guys on the first date and then I'm going to be white feet up and guess what?

  • It didn't fucking work.

  • It was the exact same thing.

  • If you guys into me, he's into me.

  • If we have chemistry, we have chemistry, and having sex on the first date isn't gonna change that.

  • I have refused to have sex on the first date with guys, and then it just ended up turning into a casual thing because we didn't have romantic feelings for each other or I've had sex on the first date.

  • I had sex on the first date with David, and it turned into a relationship.

  • So sex is not like a game.

  • It's not look upon peace in some romantic jury.

  • It's just it is what it is.

  • I also wanted to address body positivity and really feeling confident while you're having sex.

  • Initially, I was really scared getting naked in front of guys.

  • I was scared.

  • They think my boobs were too small or my stomach was too big for my nipples were weird, by the way, I have inverted nipples.

  • Comment below if you are a fellow inverted nipple sister.

  • But yeah, my nipples, like they don't point outwards.

  • They're like little holes that go in words literally.

  • As the name would imply they are inverted.

  • This may also come back to my first boyfriend who told me by vagina was really weird and that, like, shattered my personal self esteem for a long time.

  • Because I was so nervous when I was having sex with somebody knew that they would look at my vagina and they'd be like, Whoa, I don't wanna have sex with her like that's a fucking weird vagina.

  • Later, I looked it up, and my vagina is like, completely normal.

  • There are so many different shapes and sizes and colors that vaginas come in and they all look quite different than what you see in standardized porn.

  • Oh, another fun fact.

  • I, for the longest time, thought that old penises were the size that porn penises work.

  • When I saw ah flaccid Penis for the first time, I was like what the fuck buys this Penis of small?

  • But it was like a normal Penis.

  • It was just because it wasn't hard yet And it wasn't nine inches long with your important.

  • So it goes both ways for guys and girls be accepting of each other's genitals.

  • I used to also be very self conscious about exactly how I sounded or how I held my body.

  • I would be like sucking my stomach in during sex to make sure that I look like a ll the time.

  • And I think it really distracted from the sexual experience for me, even if you feel like your body isn't perfect.

  • Even though there is no perfect body, I think what is really hottest and what feels the best for both people is, if you're really confident in yourself, you can lose yourself in the moment.

  • You're not worried about your imperfection of 99% of the time to the imperfections that we care so much about on our own bodies.

  • Other people don't even notice.

  • So, yeah, I know insecurity isn't something you can fix overnight, but trust me, it's not something that you are being scrutinized over when you're having sex.

  • Next up, let's talk about your dad and how to have a groovy time during sex.

  • I learned in Sex ed that female orgasms or very elusive and very hard to obtain.

  • And granted, they are a little bit more mysterious than the male orgasm.

  • There's a little bit more work involved for most women, but that doesn't mean that they're fucking sask watch.

  • You should be able to find one in your lifetime.

  • I think.

  • Oftentimes guys use that.

  • The female orgasm is mysterious as an excuse to not even try to get you to orgasm.

  • When I first had sex, I didn't orgasm for a little bit, and they used to be pretty rare.

  • But as I've become more acquainted with my body and the ways I like having sex, orgasms have become more frequent.

  • Also, please don't worry about shattering a guy's ego if you don't or doubt him, like all the time.

  • I have had plenty of times where I've had sex and have an orgasm and haven't faked orgasm and, you know, it was like it was a fun time.

  • I still had a good time.

  • Let's talk about periods Sachs feel quick if you guys watch my video.

  • A couple months ago, I had not had period sex yet, and I was questioning what it was like but safe to say your girl has had the experience now, and here is my review, Your honor.

  • Heavier day of your period.

  • It can get pretty bloody.

  • So lay down a towel or some paper towels on your bed, period.

  • Sex honestly works in all positions.

  • But if you're really worried about the flow coming out, there are certain positions where gravity is in your favor and your vagina is like not pouring the blood out.

  • Gravity wise.

  • If you use a tampon right before period sex, it will be a lot cleaner because the tampon has absorbed a lot of the blood up in your vagina Already.

  • My vagina is a lot more sensitive on my period, so it could be really good for orgasms, and it can reduce period cramps and just makes me feel in a better mood.

  • So overall I give period sex a solid 4.5 out of five stars.

  • I don't think it's something that should be stigmatized.

  • And, yeah, it's a pretty good time.

  • Absolutely.

  • I thought I talked a bit about kinky sex, which I will not get into too much detail because I feel like this video I did the lead.

  • It off of YouTube if I, like, talk too much about things.

  • But I think being a little kinky is quite common, actually, and it's nothing to be ashamed of as one of my friends and light.

  • BTS n is the new vanilla.

  • This is something I've never heard people talking about online.

  • But choking is very common amongst college students these days.

  • Please comment below if you relate to this.

  • So for me it's some light asphyxiation, really like increases sensation during sex.

  • I'm into it.

  • Some guys like being shows, too, because it does increase their sensation as well.

  • Obviously asked, before you do any of that, make sure it's consensual.

  • I feel it.

  • But yes, I was like a little bit mainstream after 50 shades of grey.

  • But it also has kind of a reputation for being degrading or being not consensual or not safe.

  • And it totally is.

  • Just make sure that you get that explicit consent first that you're both into it, that you will have a safe word that you respect.

  • And then afterwards you have some after care.

  • You do a little bit of cuddling.

  • Talk about the experience, make sure that you're both doing okay.

  • And yeah, it should be a good time.

  • Don't be ashamed to explore all parts of your sexuality.

  • So anyways, on that note, that brings us to the end of this video.

  • The sun is setting.

  • And I have been rambling for, like, three hours about sex, and I think my roommates might have overheard me.

  • So that's been fun.

  • I hope this video help you guys feel a little bit less taboo about sex more comfortable in your sexual choices, sexual in your sexual choices.

  • But in the meantime, stay safe.

  • Stay sexy.

  • I don't see you guys next week.

Hey, guys.

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失去我的V卡,手淫,和其他性冒險 (losing my v card, masturbation, and other sexual adventures)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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