I amsoexcitedtofilmthisvideobecause, I mean, youguysprobablyknowbasedonthenumberofsexualreferencesthatareinmyvideo, I havetolikeGeorgearoundthere a littlebit.
Oh, she's a scorer.
Andbymagic, I meanhoursandhoursofeditingandallthose X.
But I am a hugeproponentofbeingopenandhonestaboutsex.
So I'm gonnabedispellingallofmysexualwisdomontoyouguystodaylosingyourvirginity, masturbation, casualsex, thewholeshebang.
I havesomanytopicstocoverinthisvideo.
Solet's justdiveonrightin.
Kiddos, I shouldn't callyoukiddos.
Thisis a Thisis a sexualvideo.
We'reallconsentingadultshere.
Beforewejumpintoanyoftheothersectionsofthisvideo, I justwantedtotalkbrieflyaboutsocietalconceptionsaboutsexandhowthey'veaffectedmeandhow I thinktheyaffect a lotofwoman.
Overthepastcoupleofdecades, oursocietyhasmadesomuchprogressintermsoffmakingwomenfeelmorecomfortablewiththeirsexualchoices, but I feellikewestillhavesuch a longwaytogotoday.
Youhavesexaslongasitisconsensualandyou'rehaving a goodtime.
Thatisallthatmatters, eventhough I liketothinkofmyselfaslike a kickassfeministbadassladywhodoesn't give a fuckaboutsociety's standards.
Youknow, theyreallydogettoyoubecause I'vegrownupwiththosemessagesmyentirelifewhen I was a freshmanincollegeand I feltreadytohavesexforthefirsttimewithmyfirstboyfriend.
I hadthislikeItwasanuncontrollablefeelingofshameandguilt.
Anditwasn't because I didn't feelreadytohavesexorbecause I didn't feelsafewithmyboyfriend.
Whydidn't feelcomfortableinmybody?
I thinkallthesubliminalmessagingovertheyearshadreallybuiltupinmyheadtellingmethatif I lostmyvirginity, I'd be a differentwoman.
I'd beimpure.
Peoplearoundmewouldsuddenlyknoworlike I'd somehowbe a worseperson.
Itwassuch a mind.
Fuck.
I literallycriedinmydeadbecause I wassoconflicted.
And I think a lotofgirlsgothroughthisbecausethere's somuchpressure.
Andafter I lostmyvirginity, nobodylookedatmedifferently.
Nobodytreatedmedifferently.
I didn't feelanydifferent.
Itwasjustlike a newexperiencethat I hadgainedandit's a newpartoflifethat I couldenjoy.
Evenafter I washavingsexprettyregularly, I feltlikeeverytime I hadsex, I wasusingup a finitenumberofsexualexperiences I hadbefore I becamelooseandundesirableinmyvaginajustdeterioratedintoBush, whichisnotatalltrue.
Myvaginahasdone a lotinherday, andshe's stillgoingstrong.
I personallyandoursocietyas a wholehas a longwaytogointermsofassociatinghowmanytimesyouhavesexwithwhomyouhavesexwithyourworthas a woman.
I'veevenseenitinthewaysthatmyfriendstalkaboutsex.
Oh, I sleptwiththisguy, buttrustme, I don't sleepwiththatmanyguysor I onlylethimgodownonme.
Buttrustmelike I didn't havesexwithhim, asifthatissometypeofdefensetotheircharacterandthatthey'renotoneofthesluttygirls.
Now I trytobe a lotmorecarefulaboutthewaythat I talkaboutsex, nevergivingthesecaveatsformyself.
No, I likehavingsex.
I havesexandwomenwhohavesexmoreorlessthantheyareequallyamazinghumans, youknow.
Sowiththatoutoftheway, oneofthefirsttopics I wanttotalkaboutwasmasturbation.
Kindoflikehumpedthingsaroundthehousewhen I wasyounger, but I didn't realizeitwas a sexualthinguntillateron.
Later, itwasjustlike, Hey, guys, hereis a lessonaboutjerkingitoffandthengirlslike, goodfuckingluck.
I wouldmasturbateinhighschool, but I felt a lotofshameaboutit.
I feltlikesodirtyafterwards, and I waslike, Oh, myGod, I can't believe I didthatlikeyou'resuch a pieceofshit.
And I wouldnevertalktoanybodyaboutit.
Likewhenguysinmyhighschoolrealizedthatfemalemasturbationwas a bigmyfriendswouldlikeaskmeif I diditand I wasalwayslike, Oh, no, because I feltlikeitwastootaboototalkabout.
So I wanttoletyouguysOh, thatmasturbationiscompletelynormalandcool.
Thisisgonnagetverypersonal.
Butwhen I wasyounger, I alsowouldonlyrubtheClintorlikehomethings.
I wouldn't putmyfingersintomyvaginabecause I thoughtthatitwouldlike, stretchmeoutandmakemetoolooseandtherefore, like, decreasemysexualvaluelaterinlife, whichisnottrue, honey, likeyoucanputsomefingersoutthereandyou'redoingfine.
Anditprobablywouldhavemadelosingmyvirginity a littlebitlesspainfulif I had a kindofexperimentedaroundwithmyself.
First, a polywouldhavemademebetteratsexandenjoyit.
MoreMasturbationisalso a greatwaytofigureoutyouknowwhat's goingondownthere, whatyoulike, whatgetsyouoffbecauseyouknow, thefemaleorgansare a littlebitcomplicatedandtheyneverreallyteachyouthatinschool, andeverybody's is a littlebitdifferent, butgreat.
Onceyoustarthavingsexwithotherpeopletoknowwhatyoulike, whereyoucandirectthemifthey'regoingdownonyou, I soundlike a fuckingadformasturbation.
Let's talkaboutpornrealquick.
I grewupon a lotoftumblerporn, whichisnowbannedfromtheirsights.
It's nothingtooaggressiveormisogynistic, like a lotofmalefocusedporncanbe.
Sothatis a greatplaceifyou'relookingfor, like, somesafecontenttomasturbateto.
A lotofpeople I knowarealso a fanofamateurpornbecauseitdepictssexsomuchmorerealistically, especiallywhen I wasyoungerand I waswatchingporn, but I hadn't hadsex, yetitreallycanshapethewaythatyouexpectsextobe.
I thoughtthatwomanalwayshadtobesupersexy, likemoaningalltimeback, archedassout, youknow, Andthat's notreallyhowsexislike, youknowit's not.
It's notperfectedthemoansornotalwaysthatloud.
Thedicksarenotalwaysthatbig.
I startedoutwithlesbianForeign, actually, because I feltlike I was a lotmoregentlebecause I hadn't hadsexyet.
I didn't understandwhatthesensationoflikePenetrationreallywasabout, sowejustlookedlikeithurt.
So, yeah, I startedwatchinglesbianporn, andthenfromthere, I kindofgraduallyexploredmypornpreferences.
Honestly, I usedtobereallyunattractivetopenises.
I wasjustlike, I don't likehowdickslookwherethey'reweird.
They'reugly.
I literallyneverlookedatmyfirstboyfriend's Penisfor, like, extendedperiodsoftimebecause I justwaslikeyou.
That's kindofgroups, soitwouldbelike a coupleyearstoactuallyenjoytheviewof a Penis.
Butifyoufindstraightforward a littlebitaggressivetostartoutwithlesbianpornisalso, like, prettysexyinmyopinion.
Nextup, let's talkaboutlosingyour V card.
Okay, thesexualdebutthat's cheesy.
I don't thinkthatsexualdebutwillcatchon, but I reallyhatethetermlosingyourvirginity.
I'verecommendedtryingsexforthefirsttimewithsomebodyyou'veknownfor a littlewhileyoutrustandrespectsyouandisreallygonnabelookingoutforyouandmakesurethatyoufeelgoodandthatyoufeelsafebecausethat's whatsexisallabout.
Myfirsttimewasactuallyquitepainfulbecause I hadn't evenreallystuckmyfingersuptherebefore.
I hadn't put a tamponinlikenothinghadgoneupmyvaginabefore.
Hekindofjustlike, fingeredmefor a littlebitandthenhadsexwith a couplemoresessionsoflikefingeringorgoingdownonme.
Togetmeusedtothatsensationwouldhavebeengood.
Butobviouslythat's nothisfault.
It's alsomyfaultfornotknowingwhattoaskfor.
I hopethisiscommonknowledgebynow.
Butsayitwithmekids, yourHymansincealwaysgreatwhenyouhavesexand a littlemembranethatstretchedoutandithas a holeinit.
Soifyoumasturbate, ifyouput a tamponupthere, it's notnecessarilygoingtoshatteryourhighman.
Youknow, you'renotgonna, like, loseyourvirginityto a tampon.
That's anotherthingthattypicallywillbleedandcallit a littlebitofpainthefirsttimeitstretchedout, whichtendstobethefirsttimeyouhavepenetrativesex, butitcanbestretchedoutlikeriding a bikedoingsports.
Sodon't worryifyoudon't bleed, butjustincase.
Probablyputlike a littletoweldowntheresoyoudon't ruinthebedsheetsmytimeanddiddothebleedingthing.
Buthonestly, itwasn't thatpainful.
I giveitlike a threeoutof 10 andifyou'reproperlywarmedupandmoved, really, losingyourvirginitydoesnothavetobethatpainful.
Let's talkaboutcontraception.
Yeah, thepeoplethat I grewupwith, youknow, theydon't theywillhaveprotectedsexthat I cametocollegeand I metsomepeoplethatwerelike, Ohno, look, nobodyusescondoms.
It's likecompletelynormaltohaveunprotectedsex.
And I waslike, Whatthefuck?
Nomatterwhatthekidsaresayingthesedays, nothingiscoolerthannotgettingan S t I andnotgettinganunwantedpregnancy.
Sopleasebesafe, kiddo.
ZordonRosedid a reallythoroughvideoaboutallofthedifferentformsofcontraception.
Thereisthepill.
ThereisJudy's.
Thereiseven a littleinjectionthatyoucouldgetinyourarms, and I personallyhavenottriedouttoomanydifferentones.
I prettymuchalwaysusedcondoms, which I knowwe'renot 100% effective.
Lastyear I didtrytheNuvaRingfor a couplemonths, butitreallymessedwithmyemotions, like I wasprobablythemostdepressedthat I'veeverbeen.
I reallydidn't feellikemyself, andittookmethreemonthstofigureoutthatitmightbecorrelatedtothebirthcontrol, which I just I justhatethat I lost, like, threemonthsofthefuckingnewveteranbecause I wassuch a sadbeingbackthen, andthat's nottoscareyouguysawayfromit.
I knowthenewringworksreallygreatforsomepeople, anditwassuperlowmaintenance, so I likethataboutit.
Also, forthelongesttime, I alwaysexpected a guytohave a condomonhim, butit's nicetoalwaysbeprepared.
Justgetyourself a box, putitunderyourbed, justincase.
Ifyoudoenduphavingunprotectedsex.
Firstofall, no, thatprick, um, cangetyoupregnant.
Itdependsontheguy, butthereis a smallchancethatyou'llgetpregnant, evenifhepullsout.
Secondly, Plan B is a greatoptionifthereissometypeofmistake.
Ifthecondombreaks, itissuckingexpensive.
It's like $50 1 ofthemostfrigginmillennialexperiences I'veeverhadwasthemorningaftergoingtoRiteAidwith a guygettinghimtobuyPlan B andthenthenmowinghimbackathalfthecostofit.
Sothatwasn't a funtime.
Next, let's talkaboutcasualsex, whichissomethingthat I don't hear a lotofYouTuberstalkingabout.
I enjoybothrelationshipsandcasualsex.
Honestly, someofthebestsexthat I'vehadhascomefrompeopleoffofdatingAPSfrompeoplethat I didn't knowthatwell.
Theway I liketogoaboutit, tomakesurethat I feelsafeand I feelcomfortablewith a guyisalwaysmessagefor a littlebitfirst, usually a coupleofdaysto a week.
I'vealwaysbeenopentodatingandcasualsex, kindofatthesametime, so I likeatleastopeningthedoorfor a chancefor a littlebitofromanceor a littlebitofconnection.
Evenifyoudon't enduphaving a romanticconnectionwiththem, itcan't justbe a funtimetotrysomethingnewinyourcitytohangoutwithsomebodyandlearnabouttheirlifefeelmorecomfortablewith a makesurethey'renot a serialkillerisalwaysnice.
If I'vehad a goodtimehavingsexwith a guy, I'd liketo, youknow, invitehimbackfor a secondrowovertime, having a casualsexrelationshipcanhavesomebenefitsbecauseyougettoknoweachother's bodiesbetter.
It's reallyabouttwopeoplecomingtogetherandhaving a goodtimeandcaringabouteachotherandpleasuringoneanother.
Obviously, youcouldneverfeelpressuredtogive a blowjobblowjobStillaren't myfavoritesensationintheworldyouhaveChokingon a dickislikenotalwaysthefunnest, but I can't respectitaspartoftheforeplayprocess.
I thinkaslongasit's reciprocal, aslongasit's respectfulorelse I couldbe a reallygreatpartofsex, I heardtheadvicethatyouneedtoplayhardtogetandthatyoushouldn't havesexonthefirstdatebecauseotherwisetheguy's nevergonnacomeback.
I legitimatelytriedthatfor a while.
I waslikenothavingluckinthedatingscene, So I waslike, I'm goingtodecidetonothavesexwithguysonthefirstdateandthen I'm goingtobewhitefeetupandguesswhat?
I haverefusedtohavesexonthefirstdatewithguys, andthenitjustendedupturninginto a casualthingbecausewedidn't haveromanticfeelingsforeachotheror I'vehadsexonthefirstdate.
I hadsexonthefirstdatewithDavid, anditturnedinto a relationship.
Sosexisnotlike a game.
It's notlookuponpeaceinsomeromanticjury.
It's justitiswhatitis.
I alsowantedtoaddressbodypositivityandreallyfeelingconfidentwhileyou'rehavingsex.
Initially, I wasreallyscaredgettingnakedinfrontofguys.
I wasscared.
Theythinkmyboobsweretoosmallormystomachwastoobigformynippleswereweird, bytheway, I haveinvertednipples.
Commentbelowifyouare a fellowinvertednipplesister.
Butyeah, mynipples, liketheydon't pointoutwards.
They'relikelittleholesthatgoinwordsliterally.
Asthenamewouldimplytheyareinverted.
Thismayalsocomebacktomyfirstboyfriendwhotoldmebyvaginawasreallyweirdandthat, like, shatteredmypersonalselfesteemfor a longtime.
Because I wassonervouswhen I washavingsexwithsomebodyknewthattheywouldlookatmyvaginaandthey'd belike, Whoa, I don't wannahavesexwithherlikethat's a fuckingweirdvagina.
Later, I lookeditup, andmyvaginaislike, completelynormal.
I usedtoalsobeveryselfconsciousaboutexactlyhow I soundedorhow I heldmybody.
I wouldbelikesuckingmystomachinduringsextomakesurethat I looklike a llthetime.
And I thinkitreallydistractedfromthesexualexperienceforme, evenifyoufeellikeyourbodyisn't perfect.
Eventhoughthereisnoperfectbody, I thinkwhatisreallyhottestandwhatfeelsthebestforbothpeopleis, ifyou'rereallyconfidentinyourself, youcanloseyourselfinthemoment.