of your thoughts.

Whenever you start feeling in your life like,

oh my gosh, is this all there is, huge red flag number one.

How scared are you?

- Less.

- She'll be speaking at the next conference, you watch.

- Hello, Believe Nation.

I'm Evan Carmichael, my one word is Believe.

And I believe that entrepreneurs are going to solve

all of the world's major problems

So to help you on your journey today,

we're going to learn from TV host, author and speaker

Mel Robbins and my take on her Top 10 Rules of Success,

Volume 2.

Rule number one is my personal favorite.

I'd love to know which one you guys like the best.

And as always, as you're listening,

if something really resonates with you,

there's a message that really holds true to you,

please leave it down in the Comments below

and put it in quotes so that other people can be inspired

and when you write it down, it's much more likely to stick

with yourself as well.

Enjoy!

(whoosh)

- Drive, that's this puppy right here.

This is what you want, this is your prefrontal cortex.

Drive is the mode where you're in charge of your thoughts.

It's where you are fully awake, you are present

and you are driving your thoughts and actions.

When you're doing that, your prefrontal cortex

is active.

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that you need

in order to learn new behavior,

in order to do something difficult,

in order to do something uncertain,

in order to do strategic thinking.

I'm going to give you an example.

So I'm a rightie.

If I were to try to write with my left hand,

and like you,

Lewis is going to torture me-- - Sure.

and tie my hand behind my back and make me like do this,

I could do it.

It would look like I was writing with my foot.

(laughs)

And if Lewis came up to me and said,

hey Mel, you want some BulletProof Coffee?

I'd be like, Lewis I'm trying to concentrate.

I can't do this.

My prefrontal cortex would be el fuego

because it is firing on all cylinders

to communicate to my hand, new behavior.

So, the thing that's cool about that

is that you can use a simple trick.

The moment you feel yourself hesitate,

the moment you've got one of those moments

where you know that you need to,

this is that moment that Lewis talks to you about

where you got to step outside of your comfort zone

and you got to lean into your passion.

And you've got to really take some risks.

And you got to feel the fear and you got to do it anyway.

That's the moment where you just woke up.

Now you got a decision to make.

Are you going to drift back into the habits

or are you going to awaken your prefrontal cortex

and drive forward and focus

and do something new?

I want you to start seeing something bigger.

I know you're all successful.

I'm talking about something really big for your life.

And in order to do that, you have to answer this question,

what do you really want?

Now I'm not talking about something small.

I'm not talking about a little haiku.

I'm not talking about renovating your kitchen.

I'm not talking about signing on 10 new customers

this month.

I'm talking about what you really want.

You know three years ago, I was a lawyer

and a business coach working with private clients

and big corporations all over the country.

And I came to a seminar, just like this one.

A big leadership seminar and I went there with my husband,

we're both business owners.

I went because I wanted to be more successful.

I went because I wanted to make even more money

than I already did.

I was sitting exactly where you are, in fact,

I was sitting about, I don't know, 15 rows back

right where that woman with her hand on, her hand, yet you.

Yeah, she's like, hi!

I was sitting and I was taking notes

and I'm like, okay I'm sure to make more money.

And then all of a sudden, she walked on the stage.

That is Martha Beck.

She writes a column for Oprah Winfrey.

She travels around the country speaking.

She's a best-selling author.

And when she walked on-stage, I literally stopped listening.

Please keep listening to me, right now.

(audience laughs)

And it hit me.

I said, I want to be doing that.

I'm ready for a bigger state, like that's it.

And what's so interesting

about when you answer that question

is that you don't answer it up here, you answer it here.

That's how you see something bigger for yourself.

You guy are really cute because everybody's like,

I don't see it.

I don't see anything for myself right now.

Now I'm just confused, I thought I knew what I wanted.

And you know, now Mel, I'm not really sure.

Right now, the economy is so bad.

I mean, it's so bad that even if you're successful.

I know sometimes I feel embarrassed talking about my success

around some of my friends because I know

that they're really struggling.

I get calls everyday into the radio show.

People saying, oh I've got this great idea

but I just don't know if it's the right time.

You know what I say to them?

I say, yeah you know, you're right.

The recession, it's huge.

You should wait.

Those dreams yeah, put 'em on hold.

That's right.

You should stay in that job you can't stand

just a little bit longer.

You got college bills to pay.

I mean, what you're doing it's fine.

You're busy, right?

That guy you're dating, he's good enough for you

but for the people in this room, baloney.

You know, that's right.

You know exactly what you want.

And the only thing that you need to do is to admit it.

Now this may sound weird because I know most of you

came in here because you're like,

I know what I want, I'm here with success

to try to figure it out.

I'm talking about something bigger.

Much bigger.

I'll admit to you what it is that I'm up to.

And the truth is, it's embarrassing

because when you lock onto something way bigger

than where you're at, it is downright embarrassing

to tell people

because you're not there yet.

But I mean, at this rate,

I've already admitted to you that I stalked Martha Beck

and that I brought a haiku to the best Lit agent

in the country so I got nothing to lose at this point.

So this is what I want.

(audience laughs)

Well not him, I'm married.

I want what he's got.

I want 600 radio stations.

I want two million listeners.

And I could certainly deal with the $400 million salary.

In fact, if I got it, I'd renovate everybody's kitchen.

(audience laughs)

And you know, the thing is though what's so interesting

about this is that I didn't pick him.

I mean, I'm not looking to become a cigar-smoking,

Conservative political guy that like stirs the pot

and makes everybody all mad.

I'm the liberal lifestyle gal

that's trying to help people out.

But what I want to do is I want to use radio

to entertain people and help them achieve their dreams.

And when I really think about it,

he's the one that's in the front.

I want to not only reach what's he doing, I want to surpass him.

I mean, do you think I like it

when my friends come over to my office in Boston

at my house and they're like, what is that guy doing

on your board?

(audience laughs)

No, it's embarrassing.

When you admit the big thing that you're up to,

it's embarrassing.

I have 40 stations, he's got 600.

There's a big gap so admitting where you want to get to

is embarrassing

but you got to do it.

- Mel Robbins, your radio show, Make It Happen,

helps people go for success.

You actually say there are three red flags

we should look for that will actually tell us

it's time to change.

- Big ones.

Whenever you start feeling in your life like,

oh my gosh, is this all there is?

Huge red flag number one.

Number two, when you spend your energy being jealous

or having the grass is greener over there,

another big wake-up call for you

that you're ready for a change.

And then the other final red flag is

if you're spending your life waiting to be happy.

I'll be happy when,

I'll be happy when I get married.

I'll be happy when I change my job.

I'll be happy when I want your business.

It's time to change now 'cause that moment's not coming

unless you make it come.

- But how do I know that I'm maybe not just living in

a fantasy land, that I'm never going to,

no matter where I am, the grass is always greener concept

that oh we say, this could be better

and then I might be making change for change sake

but it might not be really what I need.

- Baloney, if you're still saying that to yourself

over and over and over again

and you're complaining, what you're really good at

is ignoring your gut.

So it's time to start tuning into your gut

and making some changes.

- Okay so people see these signs,

why don't they make changes then?

I mean what you just described is very depressing.

- I can tell you why, I can tell you why.

The reason why they don't make changes

is because what happens is, you say,

okay I want to do X and then immediately what you see next

are all the obstacles.

And so you're actually smart, you're not necessarily afraid.

You're smart because you think, how the hell am I going to go

from being a lawyer to a carpenter

when I have a mortgage to pay.

I've got tuition bills to go.

My wife is going to kill me if I make this kind of change.

So you get stuck because you see obstacles

and then you never do anything.

- Those are very real obstacles.

- Of course they are. - Okay so--

how do I kind of get past those obstacles?

Very easy, let's say I recognize the warning signals.

Okay, time for change.

Danger, Will Robinson.

This is not the right path but it does seem Herculean

the hurdles I have to go over.

- Don't quit your job, that's number one.

Second thing is, I think most change in life

is not about putting on a big cape and jumping off a cliff,

or out of an airplane.

It's more like leaning into something.