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-Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wow.
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I'm excited. I am very excited to be here.
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Been traveling a lot lately. The year's been going great.
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Seeing these small towns now, though, type of places
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where if you get hungry after dark,
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you better know how to hunt.
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[ Laughter ]
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There's been a lot of learning experiences, you know?
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You ever heard the saying, "If you can make it in New York,
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you can make it anywhere"? [ Audience cheering ]
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That's a lie. It's not true.
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The second I left the city,
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I seen like five places I knew I couldn't make it.
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I was just standing on the highway like, "Not that one.
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Not that one. I'm definitely gon' die there."
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[ Laughter ]
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It's been a lot.
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You should make it in New York.
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City's made for you to do so.
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Got dollar pizza.
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The streets are numbered,
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in order. [ Laughter ]
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You got $4 and a [bleep] -- and a high school education,
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you good. [ Laughter ]
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You made it.
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There's no worries.
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I went to Missouri.
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-Whoo! -Learned a lot.
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It should be, "If you can make it in Missouri."
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[ Laughter ]
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Fam, you've earned that.
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That's hard work.
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How you gon' sell your mix tape if nobody outside?
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There is no one outside.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Missouri was a learning experience, man.
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That was the first time I seen a vulture in person.
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[ Laughter ]
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That's a pivotal moment.
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Vultures are a TV bird, you know?
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You supposed to only see that on television.
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I casually saw one in my regular life, just at a gas station.
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I didn't know what to do. I just waved at it.
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I'm a New Yorker. I don't do it right.
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New Yorkers don't wave. I'm just like under-handed.
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"Hey, buddy.
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I don't want any trouble, man."
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But, honest,
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vultures are negative. They're negative birds.
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The entire time they looking at you,
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they just like, "Yo, I hope you die, bro.
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Ooh, I can't wait."
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Worst thing New York got is some pigeons.
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You can find videos of them stepping aside politely
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to let you on the train.
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They got their little wings back.
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"What's up, brother? I understand.
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It's alright."
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It's easy. It's not that bad.
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Took a trip upstate New York.
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-Whoo! -Six hours.
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Six hours on this train.
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I learned, though, if you travel a minimum of two hours
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in any direction out the city, it turns into Alabama quickly.
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[ Laughter ]
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So fast.
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[ Laughter ]
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I'm used to taking the trains.
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I grew up in New York, always took a train.
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You know, you take the trains out here,
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you probably got robbed for your phone or something,
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but you made your destination.
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You can just walk.
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Took the train upstate New York,
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and they just let me out at a forest.
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[ Light laughter ]
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Just a forest, bro.
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I don't have forest experience.
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I don't know about foliage. Nothing.
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All my skills are made for New York City.
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I can hop a turnstile. I can't find North.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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I know who I am, you understand?
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You know what I'm saying? I can spot bad deli meat a mile away,
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wouldn't even ruin me.
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You pull a knife on me, I'll fight you.
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If you threw a raccoon my way, though, alright.
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Okay. Fighting dirty now.
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Use a knife like a gentleman. Come on, now.
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[ Laughter ]
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It was terrible walking through that forest.
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I didn't know anything about it. No forest experience.
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I don't know what trees not to touch.
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I don't know what's poison.
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My only reference of poison is Bell Biv DeVoe.
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I'm gonna die out there.
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I know better.
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I was scared. I was walking through that forest.
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I checked my phone.
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My phone was on 23%.
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My heart sank.
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'Cause I knew right then and there, if my phone die,
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this is where I live now.
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[ Laughter ]
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I do not possess the skills to find my way home using nature.
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That is not gon' happen.
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Not gon' be able to look at the forest
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and know where trees grow moss. Nothing. Done.
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I called my boy up. I needed some help.
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Worst advice ever.
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I'm like, "Yo, bro, I'm scared. I don't know what to do."
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He's like, "You scared, bro?"
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You from New York. How you scared of a forest?"
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"You scared of a --" Yes.
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What you expect me to do? Run into a bear
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and be like, "Wait, bro! I'm from Brooklyn, son!
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None of that roar! None of that, not with me!
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Nah." [ Cheers and applause ]
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Thank you guys. Thank you.
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♪♪
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-Thanks, man! You were great! You look great.
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Andre D Thompson!
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"Between Spots" is available on Spotify.