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  • -If you guys wouldn't mind,

  • I'd just like to write out my weekly

  • thank-you notes right now. Is that cool?

  • Because I was running a bit behind.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • James, can I get some thank-you note writing music, please?

  • ♪♪ [ Laughter ]

  • His -- his tie is missing. -Wow.

  • Think he lost it?

  • -He must have lost his tie, yeah.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • There we go.

  • -Is it casual Friday? I don't know.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, Mitch McConnell's smile

  • at the State of the Union, for looking like

  • the Mona Lisa's weird creepy uncle.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -Wow.

  • ♪♪ [ Laughter ]

  • -Thank you, Iowa caucuses,

  • for giving us definitive results of the one thing

  • we pretty much already knew,

  • old people are not good with apps.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -Hey, what?

  • [ Laughter ] ♪♪

  • -Thank you, Altoids tins,

  • for making my pants sound like they're playing calypso music.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • [ Bouncy calypso music playing ]

  • [ Whooping ]

  • [ Rhythmic clapping ]

  • -Curiously strong.

  • [ Music ends ]

  • ♪♪ -Thank you, Red Lobster ads,

  • for showing that there's nothing more appetizing

  • than watching seafood catch some sick air.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -Wah!

  • -[ Laughs ] Through water.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Mm, shrimps.

  • ♪♪ [ Laughter ]

  • Shrimps are good. [ Laughter ]

  • I like shrimps. [ Laughter ]

  • Those biscuits are good, too.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -For the seafood -- -What's that?

  • Everything good? -What's that?

  • -I didn't say anything. [ Light laughter ]

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you... [ Laughter ]

  • Malbec, for sounding less like a red wine

  • and more like a grizzled detective getting called in

  • to solve one last case.

  • [ Laughter ] "You're a loose cannon, Malbec."

  • [ Applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, Emergen-C,

  • for tricking me into thinking I won't get the flu

  • by eating a tiny packet of Tang. [ Laughter and applause ]

  • There you have it. Those are my thank-you notes.

-If you guys wouldn't mind,

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感謝信。愛荷華州黨團選舉,紅龍蝦廣告。 (Thank You Notes: Iowa Caucuses, Red Lobster Ads)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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