and I'm here with the one and only:

在我旁邊的是 世界上唯一無二的

- Grace Helbig!

葛瑞絲．海彼格！

- And last year we played a game called:

去年我們玩了一個遊戲叫作…

- Things!

「東西」！

(laughs)

基本上就是一疊卡片

- Which is basically a stack of cards,

每一張卡片上面寫著一種...

each one has a list of:

類別！

- Categories!

對於每一種類別 我們必須列出…

- And each of the categories we have to list:

五樣東西！

- Five things!

回答時間要短於…

- In under:

十秒之內！

- 10 seconds!

然後曼莉要當…

- And Mamrie's gonna:

評審！

- Judge!

還有什麼該注意的嗎？

(laughs)

（曼莉唱獅子王主題曲）

- What's new?

分數最低的人

(sings The Circle of Life)

要罰喝一杯

Whoever's got the least amount of points at the end

沒錯！

has to take a shot.

分數最高的人

- Done.

也要喝一杯

- Whoever has the most points at the end

沒錯！

also gets to take a shot.

所以我們都要喝

- Done.

你也可以一起喝

- So we all drink.

沒錯！

You can too!

如果你二十一歲以上的話

- Done.

沒錯！

- If you're over 21.

或十八歲以上，如果你住英國

- Done.

沒錯！

- Or 18 in the UK.

該結束了！

- Done.

沒錯

- Gotta go.

祝你生活一切都很美好

- Done.

我們拍完了！

- Good luck with your life.

他們不見你也不會想念的事情

- We're done. (laughs)

痘痘

Things you wouldn't miss if they were gone.

路面又大又舊的減速墊

- Acne.

警察

Big old speed bump.

還有…醃青瓜醬

Police people.

還有…洋蔥

Also, relish?

菇也是！

Also onions.

六樣了 -對，六樣了

Mushrooms, too!

哇嗚

That's six. - [Mamrie] Okay, yeah.

你還超過了 -成功了！成功了！

- Whoa, you went above

成功了！成功了！

and beyond. - Nailed it, nailed it,

移動速度很快的東西

nailed it, nailed it.

人生、高中生活、感情

Things that move quickly.

《加州大地震》 還有曼莉狗狗的腳

- Life, high school, relationships,

真的

San Andreas the movie, and Beans's legs.

真的

- Oh, wow.

真的

That's true.

你不會想再看到的東西

- True. - True.

我爸媽裸體的畫面

Things you don't want to ever see again.

還有，《兩女一杯》、《一男一瓶》

- My parents naked.

幹還有什麼

Also, fucking Two Girls One Cup, One Guy One Jar,

-時間到了

god fucking--

不！ 啊！

- Time.

我滿腦子都是我爸媽裸體的畫面

- No, wow!

你講完那個之後停太久了！

I just was thinking about my parents naked.

那是某一個星期天早上 他們就說像是

- I know, you reveled too long after that.

「你沒聽過開門前先敲門嗎？」 這樣的話

- Once it was a Sunday morning and they were like,

我內心就滴咕： 「今天可是敬神的日子耶！」

"Have you never heard of knocking?"

老天！

I'm like, "It's God's day."

不值得爭吵的事情

God!

金錢問題

Things that are not worth arguing about.

嗯

- Finances.

對，我看過很多這種事 搶電視

- Cool.

停車格 -時間到了

- Yeah, I watch a lot of, um, television.

幹，吃…

- Car parking. - [Mamrie] Time.

為什麼十秒鐘那麼快？

- Fucking shit.

因為我想「金錢」想太久了

- How did 10 seconds go so quick?

我的人生故事

- Because I just thought about finances for too long.

你希望你曾經有投資的東西

Story of my life.

喔，我不知道

Things you wish you had invested in.

Snapchat、橘色的廚房、農場

- Oh, I don't fucking know.

不動產，還有地毯

Snapchat, orange chicken, Ranch,

-時間到

fucking buildings, (laughs) and also carpet.

每個人都會用到地毯

(laughs) - [Mamrie] Time.

我有地毯

Everybody uses carpet.

不要潑東西弄髒我的地毯

I got carpet.

你想問太空人的事情

Don't spill on my carpet.

為什麼要當太空人

Things you would like to ask an astronaut.

你是哪位

- Why?

太空衣是什麼纖維做的

Who are you?

你會聞到自己的屁味嗎

(laughs)

時間到

What fabric is the suit made of?

很接近了 但你想的問題非常非常好

Do you smell your own farts?

我還想問「你怎麼便便？」

- [Mamrie] Time.

因為女生穿連身短褲的時候

- Oh, you were so close, but very, very good question.

是上廁所最困難的時候

- I want to be like, "How do you shit?"

什麼是連身短褲？

It's like when girls where rompers

就是…

and it's the most difficult way to use

你知道我有吊帶短褲嗎？

the restroom. - What's a romper about?

像是吊帶褲，但是是短褲

- I don't know, it's like a--

蛤？

- You know I have overshorts?

泰勒！

Like overalls, but just shorts.

看看這條腿！

- What?

噢媽呀 你一定會喜歡這個類別

(laughs)

嗯就是姿勢，模特兒 -嗯哼

(screaming)

嗯就是姿勢，模特兒 -嗯哼

- Look at that leg.

讓你開心的事情

- [Mamrie] Oh, okay.

媽的，就…

- Oh my God, you're gonna love this category.

我的地毯、亞麻地板、童裝！

Yeah, get it, Kate Moss. - Uh huh.

-時間到了 噢我的天啊！

Get it, Kate Moss. - Uh huh.

顛頗的東西

- Things that make your day easier.

道路、感情

(laughs)

點字版

- Fuck it, fuck it.

-時間到

My carpet, my linoleum, OshKosh,

三個，但這三個都很好

oh God. - [Mamrie] Time.

這三個都很棒

(laughs)

這不只三個 -是，是三個完美的答案

- Things that are bumpy.

把看棒球比賽 變得更好玩的東西

- Roads, relationships,

更多熱狗 更多加幽棒，加油棒

braille.

更多男人、尼克強納斯

(laughs)

還有…地毯 -時間到

- [Mamrie] Time.

成功成功了！我滑壘說完

- Three, that's a good three, though.

你剛剛說「加幽棒」

That's a good three.

很弱的東西

- This is not three. - That's a solid three.

痾，幹

- Things that would make baseball more exciting.

酒、不運動的人

- More hotdogs, more forum fingers, foam fingers,

悲觀粗暴的人

more men, Nick Jonas,

我的心情 -時間到

and also carpet. - [Mamrie] Time.

當然

- Got it, I got it, I said carpet in time.

這像是給我們快速的 心理治療課

- You said forum fingers.

這遊戲有的時候會太嚴肅

(laughs)

你不該放進行李箱的東西

- Things that are weak.

恩

- Oh, fuck.

牛仔吊帶短褲、肛塞

Drinks, people that don't work out,

就是肛塞你沒聽錯 等一下我告訴妳為什麼

passive aggressive

亮粉包 -時間到

people, my emotions. - [Mamrie] Time.

這些都是經驗

(laughs)

柯瑞有一次出國帶了 一件超大的薄紗洋裝

- Sure.

塞滿了他整個登機箱

- Just very like a quick therapy course for both of us.

安檢說要打開來看看

- This always a little too real.

結果打開的時候 整件洋裝就從行李箱裡炸開

(Grace exhales)

我就像這樣 「我跟他不是一起的喔！」

- Things you shouldn't carry in your luggage.

「我不認識他…」

- Oh.

整件炸開？！

A denim overshorts, a butt plug.

整件爆開啊

Literally, I'll tell you later.

因為它塞得滿到極致

A fucking glitter package. - [Mamrie] Time.

有一次我和曼莉 巡迴演出的時候

- These are all from experience.

有人給曼莉一個禮物 說要給我們兩個的

Corey once was travelling with a huge tulle dress,

是個散彈槍 不，是個像槍的鋼瓶

and it took up his entire carry-on.

或是像槍的東西 -噢，老天

They were like, "We need to look through this bag."

曼莉的反應當然就是

They open it, and it explodes everywhere,

「我不能帶著這個東西走」 所以她就把它留在房間

and I was like, literally, "I'm not with him, like,

然後我們到了 下一場表演住的飯店

"I don't know who that..."

隔天，她收到電子郵件和電話

- The dress just exploded?

上一個飯店打來的，說

- The dress exploded out cause it was

「女士，您在房間有一把槍沒帶走」

packed to the brim inside the thing.

女士！

- You know that Mamrie and I were on tour

簡單的東西

and Mamrie got gifted, for both of us,

葛瑞絲．海彼格、數學小考

a shot, no, a flask that was a gun,

「輕鬆擠」鮮奶油！ -時間到

or a gun-looking thing. - Oh my God.

哪個是騙人的？

- And so Mamrie, of course, was like,

九九乘法表！ -數學小考？！

"I can't travel with this," so she left it

像是7乘8 -「輕鬆擠」鮮奶油？！

in her room in the hotel, we go to the next hotel

7乘8等於多少？

for the next show, the next day, gets emails and phone calls

你知道，42

from the previous hotel being like,

算了不重要

"Ma'am, you left your gun

-是56！

in the room." - Ma'am! (laughs)

對欸！你是對的！

- Things that are easy.

老師不該說的東西

- Grace Helbig, also a mathematical test,

7乘8是52

also (laughs), oh, easy squeeze.

他們不知道自己怎麼會當老師

(laughs) - [Mamrie] Time.

他們宿醉 -時間到

- But where was the lie?

幹！

Times table, times table. - A mathematical test,

其實還不錯啦 -好啦，我接受只講了三個

easy squeeze. - Like seven by eight,

有愛學校的精神

seven times eight, what's it?

愛校精神哈哈 五個只講了三個

You know, 42.

當小嬰兒的優點

It's whatever.

哇哇叫、玩具手搖鈴、巨大的奶嘴

- [Mamrie] It's 56.

拉屎在褲子裡

(laughs)

還有，懶得鳥人

- Oh, you're right.

任務達成！

Okay, things the teacher shouldn't say.

今天就到這裡啦

- Seven times eight is 52.

曼莉，誰贏了？

That they don't know how they got there,

獲勝的應該就是...泰勒

that they're hungover. - [Mamrie] Time.

是的

- Fuck.

哇嗚，所以...

- I mean, that's - Great, I'll take

所以我們兩個都要喝

three out of five.

真是個奇怪又糟糕的遊戲

- school spirit, spirit.

看我穿的這是什麼

- School spirit, three out of five.

好的

Things, oh God, that are great about being a baby.

敬小狗狗烏烏

- Oh, "goo goo ga ga," a rattle, a big ol' pacifier,

敬小狗狗烏烏

shitting your pants, and also:

還有小屁屁牛仔褲

not even giving a fuck.

厚拎

Nailed it!

厚拎

That's all we have today.

觀眾現在該做的五件事

Mamrie, who won?

你們現在該做的五件事

- [Mamrie] Oh, I think it went to Tyler.

按讚、訂閱、留言、推文…

- Yes.

還有去看葛瑞絲的影片

- Wow, so.

如果這影片沒有十萬個讚

- So we both take shots.

我就刪帳號

What a weird, terrible sport this is.

這個月剛開始就那麼瞎！

- Look at my outfit.

這醬！愛你們！再見！

- Okay.

祝你們一切都很美好！掰！

- To Beans.

掰~

- To Beans.

- And to tiny ass jeans.

(laughs)

- Delicious.

- Delicious.

- Five things they should do right now.

- Five things that you guys should do right now:

like, subscribe, comment, tweet--

- And then go watch Grace's video.

If this doesn't get a 100,000 likes

I'm gonna delete my account.

(laughs)

- What a way to start August.

- Okay, that's all, love you, later,

good luck with your life, bye.

- Goodbye.