HERE.

I WANT TO THANK YOU, FIRST OF

ALL, FOR SENDING BURRITOS TO OUR

SHOW.

>> YOU ARE WELCOME, KIMMEL

STAFF.

>> Jimmy: I KNOW YOUR HUSBAND IS

THE CHEF WHO MADE THEM.

>> IT WAS VERY STRATEGIC ON MY

PART.

YOUR WIFE IS A BIG FAN OF THAT

BURRITO, AND MY HUSBAND IS THE

ONE WHO INVENTED THAT BURRITO,

AND WE THOUGHT WE'D SEND SOME

ALONG.

>> Jimmy: IT IS LIKE A CHRISTMAS

EVE TRADITION AT OUR HOUSE, FOR

LUNCH WE WILL HAVE THOSE

BURRITOS.

AND YOU'RE VERY TALENTED, TOO, I

DON'T WANT TO MAKE THIS ALL

ABOUT HIM.

I'M SURPRISED WE HAVEN'T MET

BEFORE.

HAVE YOU BEEN HERE TO THIS SHOW

BEFORE?

>> I'VE NOT BEEN ON THE SHOW,

BUT I HAVE BEEN HERE TO THE

SHOW.

IN 2007, WHEN I WAS LIKE REALLY

YOUNG.

I WAS IN THE GREEN MANY ROO.

Y

YOU HAVE LIKE YOUR BIG GREENROOM

PARTIES.

AT THAT TIME, NOW YOU'RE

MARRIED.

I TOTALLY GET IT.

I WAS HERE WITH A FRIEND AND HAD

TO LEAVE EARLY.

IT WAS SO GLAMOROUS WITH ALL

THESE FREE SNACKS EVERYWHERE.

IT WAS LIKE, JUST ONE MORE, I

PROMISE I WON'T -- AND I HAD TO

GO TO SAN DIEGO.

AND THEY DIDN'T PAY IN CASH, BUT

THEY LET YOU PICK AN ITEM OFF

THE MENU.

I REMEMBER MY SAD CHEVY BLAZER,

ONE DAY I'LL BE ON JIMMY KIMMEL,

AND I WON'T BE PAID IN CHICKEN

FINGERS!

AND TODAY IS THAT DAY, BUT THERE

WERE CHICKEN FINGERS.

>> Jimmy: IT'S EASY FOR PEOPLE

TO SEE, AND YOU'VE GOT

BILLBOARDS ON NETFLIX, ALL THESE

SPECIAL TH

SPECIALS AND SUCCESS.

IT'S A REMINDER YOU WERE DRIVING

TO SAN DIEGO ON A WEEK NIGHT.

>> ON A WEEK NIGHT.

AND I HAD A DESK JOB, JUST LIKE

EVERY YOUNG GIRL DREAMS AND

YOU'RE DOING SEVERAL SETS A

NIGHT WITH YOUR OWN MERCH AND A

DUFFLE BAG.

>> Jimmy: WHEN DID YOU FIRST DO

STANDUP?

>> I DID STANDUP ON A SHIP.

A SEMESTER AT SEA.

SHOUT OUT.

IT WAS LIKE AN OPEN MIC ON THE

SHIP WITH 600 OTHER STUDENTS

FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, LIKE

AN OPEN MIC NIGHT AND I GOT UP

AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT THE

INTERACTIONS BETWEEN ALL THE

FRAT GUYS AND THE SORORITY GIRLS

ON THE SHIP AND THAT CREATED THE

LENS THROUGH WHICH I LOOKED AT

SOCIETY.

IT WAS LIKE ME LOOKING AT ALL

THE GIRLS GETTING THE IDEA OF

APES.

GIRLS ARE LIKE, DID I LEAVE MY

STUDY BOOK IN HERE?

AND GUYS ARE LIKE, UH.

>> Jimmy: THAT'S VIDEO GAMES, I

HOPE.

>> IT WAS A GROUP.

UH.

>> Jimmy: SO PEOPLE WERE

ACTUALLY DOING SCHOOLWORK ON THE

SHIP?

>> THE CHILDREN THAT WERE THERE

ON ACADEMIC SCHOLARSHIPS WERE.

THE REST OF US WERE GETTING

S-CANNED.

CAN I SAY THE S WORD?

AT PLACES LIKE THE TAJ MAHAL.

IT GIVE YOU A GLOBAL PERSPECTIVE

OF HOW THE REST OF YOUR LIFE'S

GOING TO BE.

>> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS, HERE YOU

ARE NOW, IN A MOVIE WITH MARK

WAHLBERG.

>> I AM IN A MOVIE!

>> Jimmy: IT'S A BIG DEAL.

>> A VERY BIG DEAL.

>> Jimmy: HOW DID THAT COME TO

PASS?

>> I'D LOVE TO BE LIKE, THEY

JUST CALLED AND SAID CAN YOU ADD

YOUR MAGIC?

NO, I WENT TO AN AUDITION AND I

REMEMBER GETTING THE SIDES, AND

IT SAID DO NOT DO A BOSS DTON

ACCENT.

>> Jimmy: THE SIDES ARE A SMALL

PIECE OF THE SCRIPT.

>> A SMALL BIT.

AND IT SAID NO BOSTON ACCENT.

I'M LIKE, MARK WAHLBERG, I KNOW

IT'S GOING TO BE SHOT IN BOSTON,

I WON'T DO IT.

BUT THE LINE IS, EVERY DAY I

PRAY TO ST. JUDE FOR A REASON TO

LEAVE YOU.

AND I WAS LIKE, I CAN'T NOT DO A

BOSTON ACCENT AND INVOKE THE

NAME ST. JUDE.

I WAS LIKE, YOU GOT TO GO

BOSTON, GO BOSTON, GO BIG.

AND I WENT IN AND DID THE

ACCENT.

AND TANKED IT, OBVIOUSLY.

AND THEN A COUPLE WEEKS LATER WE

WERE SUPPOSED TO HEAR ON FRIDAY.

IF YOU'VE EVER AUDITIONED FOR

ANYTHING IT'S JUST LIKE FORGET

ABOUT IT, LIVE YOUR LIFE, AND

I'M LIKE, I CAN'T!

AND I HAD FLOWN TO BOSTON TO DO

A GIG.

IT'S FRIDAY AFTERNOON, I'M IN MY

HOTEL ROOM, AND I DYAZIECIDE, I

AGAINST EVERY MOLECULE GO MY

BODY, I TURN THE PHONE OFF,

THREE MINUTES LATER, I TURN IT

BACK ON U AN, AND I HAD A MISSEL

FROM MY AGENT.

OKAY, THEY'RE GOING TO TELL ME I

DIDN'T GET IT AND IT'S BEFORE I

GO ON STAGE.

COOL.

MY AGENT GOES, MARK WAHLBERG

WANTS TO CALL YOU, AND I'M LIKE,

I'M NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP.

AND SHE WAS LIKE HE JUST WANTS

TO TALK TO YOU.

AND I WAS LIKE, THAT'S SO SWEET,

HE IS TAKING TIME OUT OF HIS DAY

TO LET ME KNOW I DIDN'T GET THE

PART.

WHAT A JACGENTLEMAN.

THEY CONNECT ME, AND I WENT TO

SCHOOL IN BOSTON.

WE HAD A TV THAT SAT ON A

WHEELCHAIR.

NOW I'M OVERLOOKING THE BOSTON

COMMON, WOULDN'T IT BE

WONDERFUL?

HE'S LIKE HEY, HE HAS A PRETTY

GOOD BOSTON ACCENT.

AND THEN IT GOT QUIET, OKAY,

YOU'RE HOT.

AND HE GOES, HE JUST GOES, SO,

ARE YOU READY TO GET CRAZY WITH

US?

AND IN HOLLYWOOD, IT'S SUCH A

LIKE, WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE'RE

NOT HIRING YOU.

SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE

LEGALESE IS FOR ARE YOU READY TO

GET CRAZY, I'M LIKE, DO I HAVE

THE GIG?

I NEED TO HEAR IT.

HE'S LIKE, YEAH.

WE'LL SEE YOU IN A COUPLE WEEKS.

AND I'M LIKE, YES!

AND I SCREAMED SO LOUD THAT

SECURITY SEPTEMBER SONT SOMEONEE

SURE I'M OKAY.

I'M LIKE, I'M OKAY!

>> Jimmy: IT'S A MIRACULOUS

STORY, FROM SAN DIEGO TO THE

SEA.

>> FROM CHICKEN FINGERS TO

BOSTON COMMONS.

>> Jimmy: ILIZA SHLESINGER!

"SPENSER CONFIDENTIAL" IS

AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX A WEEK FROM FRIDAY.