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  • Thanks for the love.

  • I give love back to you.

  • Valentine's Day is tomorrow.

  • I don't know if you know that.

  • And if you don't--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • It sneaks up on you.

  • A lot of people are like, what do mean it's tomorrow?

  • But don't worry about--

  • you know, because a lot of people

  • wait till the last minute--

  • plenty of restaurants where you can still get a reservation,

  • you just have to decide if you want to eat at 3:30 or 11:15.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Sometimes single people get a little down on Valentine's Day.

  • I don't.

  • You know, you never know when you might find love.

  • I knew this guy--

  • true story-- he thought he would never find love.

  • And he meets this girl.

  • She's on the streets, and she's beautiful--

  • he's successful by the way-- very successful.

  • She's beautiful-- and a prostitute.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I'm thinking of "Pretty Woman."

  • But you know, the point is that was a beautiful movie.

  • That's what I'm saying.

  • Personally, I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day.

  • I know what you're thinking--

  • Ellen, you're never going to get a man that way.

  • But--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Don't get me wrong, I love overpriced flowers

  • and tiny little hearts that taste like chalk.

  • I really do.

  • But--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I just don't think you need a specific day to tell someone

  • that you love them.

  • You should celebrate love all the time.

  • But if--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Every day.

  • But if you want to do something a little extra special,

  • you don't have to do something big.

  • Like remember last year, Kanye did

  • that thing for Kim where it was a room full of roses and Kenny

  • G was performing--

  • don't do that.

  • First of all, you don't need to spend that much money

  • to show your love.

  • Secondly, I hired Kenny G for Portia, so he's not available.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Many things you can do each and every day to show someone how

  • much they mean to you-- for instance, you know,

  • a simple little gesture of filling up their car with gas--

  • you know, in the tank, not the car.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • But don't put it in if it's an electric car,

  • because that's how I ruined Portia's Chevy Volt,

  • and I didn't--

  • maybe you can let your partner pick which TV

  • show they want to watch.

  • Because usually someone's in control of what to watch.

  • You can give them choices to make it easier.

  • I'll give you choices--

  • you can watch this show, you could watch my "Game of Games,"

  • you could watch "Finding Dory," you could watch

  • one of my reruns of my sitcom.

  • And that's it.

  • That's basically it.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Most of all, be present.

  • Put away your phone.

  • Switch to silent.

  • Turn off the notifications.

  • I'm kidding, nobody's going to do that.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • But you know, just buy somebody some chocolates,

  • because they're going to be hungry

  • a few hours after dinner-- at 3:30.

  • So I hope that helps.

  • Happy Valentine's Day, and now give it up.

  • He's my work Valentine.

  • I love him so very, very much.

  • This is tWitch.

Thanks for the love.

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艾倫不喜歡情人節 (Ellen Isn't a Fan of Valentine's Day)

  • 12 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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