First time long time!

好久不見！

I’m a big fan of the show, but very lonely.

我是這個秀的忠實粉絲，但非常寂寞。

Very very lonely.

非常非常寂寞。

I wish I had someone to share your videos with (aside from my cats).

我希望我能夠將你的影片和一些人分享(除了我的貓之外)

Can science help me find the partner of my dreams?

科學能夠幫助我找尋夢想的伴侶嗎？

Signed, Curiously Alone.

簽名，Curiously Alone

Well well well, you’ve come to the right place.

你來對地方了。

When it comes to courtship, human nature can learn a lot from *nature* nature, because

提到求愛，人性能夠從 *自然* 本性學到許多東西，因為

feathered, flippered, or furry… we’re all just looking for love, or the equivalent

羽毛動物、有鰭動物或毛茸茸的動物...我們都在追尋愛，或其他等值的

totally-non-anthropomorphic mating behavior.

完全非擬人化的交配行為。

Is that romance in the air?

那飄散在空氣中的是浪漫嗎？

Or is it just beaver butts?

或只不過是海狸的屁股？

Beavers secrete a fluid from their rear ends called castoreum, to mark territory and attract

海貍會從尾端分泌出一種叫做角質層的液體，用來標示領域並吸引

potential mates.

潛在的交配對象。

I’m told it smells like a fruity vanilla… with hints of leather, and old urine, so naturally

我聽說這聞起來像是水果味的香草...帶有皮革和舊尿的味道，因此很自然的，

humans use it to make perfume.

人們用它來做香水。

For us, a spritz of perfume or a dash of cologne sends a different message: “Hello.

對我們來說，一抹香水與一點古龍水傳達著不同的訊息: 「哈囉。

I am disease free and pleasant-smelling.

我沒有生病而且聞起來很怡人。

Let’s get to know each other better.”

讓我們更進一步地認識彼此吧。」

They might not do “The Dougie,” or the Dab… or whatever move the kids are doing

他們或不會做 The Dougie 或 the Dab 或其他任何現在小孩們會做的行為

these days, but animals often play dance-dance-evolution to lure potential mates.

但動物們經常表演舞蹈舞蹈進化來吸引潛在的交配對象。

Boobies have mastered the two step

鰹鳥專精於兩步舞蹈

while red-capped manakins prefer a more MJ approach;

紅頭侏儒鳥則較偏好麥克傑克森的舞蹈方式；

peacock spiders do what I like to call the “samba twerk"

孔雀蜘蛛跳的是我喜歡稱為 "samba twerk" 的舞蹈

scientists have even found evidence that ancient Colorado was a dinosaur dance floor, where giant lizards

科學家們甚至已經發現一些證據證明古時候的科羅拉多州曾是恐龍的舞池，

would dance like no one was watching, and love like they’d never be annihilated by

在那裏這些巨型蜥蜴能夠自在地跳舞就像沒有人看著一樣，並相愛一如從未因巨大的

a giant asteroid.

小行星而滅絕。

Humans don’t always dance to impress, in fact I do the opposite, but at its core, “ritualized

人類並非總是用跳舞來使人印象深刻，事實上我做的事情正好相反，但從核心上來看，「儀式化行為」

movement” is a display of “fitness”.

是一種「適應」的展現。

If they have the energy and strength to bust a move, it’s a sign that an animal will

如果牠們有能量與力量來進行這樣的行為，這是一個動物將結識強健伴侶的訊號 --

make a strong partner – and will be able to survive the dreaded Predator dance-off.

且將能夠在可怕的捕食者舞會中生存下來。

A peacock’s fancy duds, and perhaps our own, send a similar message: if an animal

孔雀的和我們自己的花俏的傢伙，傳達了相同的訊息：如果一個動物

doesn’t look great, it’s not a fit mate.

看起來不漂亮，牠就不是個適合的配偶。

We’ve all heard that “the best way to the heart is through the stomach”, but it’s

我們都曾聽說過 「通往心臟的最佳途徑是通過胃部」，但這

actually directly through the center of the rib cage.

事實上應該是應該是通過肋骨的中間。

In a less bloody sense, this saying means that eating is an important part of courtship.

較不血腥地來說，這個諺語的意思是吃飯是求愛中重要的一環。

Some mantids, spiders and scorpions eat their mates, while white-fronted parrots regurgitate

某些螳螂、蜘蛛和蠍子會把他們的配偶吃掉，而白額鸚鵡則會在對方的嘴裡

in each others’ mouths.

互相反芻。

None of these are particularly good strategies for a human *first* date, but in the wild

上述這些沒有一項在人類的 *初次*約會中會是好的策略，但在野外

these behaviors accomplish a similar goal as you cooking a nice meal for your boo.

這些行為達成了與煮一頓好菜給你的約會對象。

Trading calories for courtship.

用熱量交易的方式來求愛。

Again, this shows an animal’s ability to provide for a mate, and maybe even future

再一次，這顯示出動物供養配偶的能力，甚至直到未來

offspring.

的後代

So definitely buy those chocolates.

所以一定要買那些巧克力。

There’s a famous poem: How do I love thee?

這裡有一首著名的詩： How do I love thee？

Let me play you this mixtape.

讓我為你播放這個混音帶。

But other animals were singing and composing songs long before humans first held a boombox

但其他動物在人類高舉音箱前很久，就開始唱歌和編曲了，

overhead, and there’s perhaps no better example of this than whales.

也許再沒有比鯨魚更適合作為例子的了。

Or should I say “thaaannnn innn whhhaaalllesss”

或者我應該說 thaaannnn innn whhhaaalllesss (模仿鯨魚發出的低頻率聲音)

Humpback males will even sort of “riff” on each other’s slow jams, their shared

雄性座頭鯨甚至會互相在對方緩慢的即興歌曲上 「輕拍」，牠們共創的歌曲

songs can evokolve.

可以激發。

In this way they are a lot like Phish, by which of course I mean the notable jam band,

這麼一來使牠們與 Phish 十分相像，我是指那個著名的即興樂團，

and not the aquatic animal with gills.

而不是那種有鰓的水生動物 (Fish)。

Scientists think female humpbacks actually prefer the musical innovators as mates.

科學家認為雌性座頭鯨事實上偏好音樂創新者作為其配偶。

We’re not entirely sure why, but it could be the cool hair.

我們還不知道為什麼，但這可能是因為他很酷。

Of course proclaiming your love from the mountaintop isn’t everyone’s romantic style.

當然，從山頂上大聲呼喊出你的愛意並不是每個人都認同的浪漫方式。

After all, scientists have found the loudest howler monkeys often have the smallest…

畢竟，科學家發現聲音最大的吼猴通常具有最小的...

bagpipes.

風笛。

If you're more of homebody-wallflower-introvert, have no fear, your wild counterpart is here.

假如你是個室內壁花內向者，不要怕，你相對應的的野生動物就在這裡。

The bowerbird.

園丁鳥。

These avian architects spend weeks building and decorating mating shrines, nature’s

這些鳥類建築師花費幾個星期來建造並裝飾牠們的交配神殿，大自然版的

version of a swanky pad.

swanky pad。

Poop, flowers, shells, trash – sure, there’s bit of a “hoarder” vibe going on, but

糞便、花朵、貝殼、垃圾 -- 確實，這裡有一點儲藏室的氛圍，但

they DO coordinate colors.

牠們確實使顏色看起來十分協調。

They even steal from other bowers to get their own decorations just right.

牠們甚至從其他園丁鳥那邊偷東西使牠們自己的裝飾看起來更棒。

To our bowerbird viewers out there, I can not condone this behavior.

給我們的園丁鳥型觀眾，我不能寬恕這種行為。

This pufferfish might be the master of nest appeal.

這隻河豚也許是用巢穴來吸引注意的大師。

They spend days creating intricate mandalas for their mates, like underwater crop circles.

牠們花費許多天的時間來為牠們的配偶創造錯綜複雜的曼陀羅，就像是水底下的麥田圈。

They’re so complex, it took nearly 20 years for us humans figure out what was making

它們是如此地複雜，人類花費近 20 年的時間才了解到是什麼創造了它們，

them, even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t solve the mystery.

即便是 M.Night Shyamalan (《靈異第六感》的導演) 也解不開這個謎團。

Of course, maybe all this kerfuffle doesn’t seem worth the trouble.

當然，也許所有這種亂七八糟不值得我們為其操煩。

Then take a nod from the chambered nautilus.

向鸚鵡螺點個頭吧！

When it’s time to find a mate, this kooky cephalopod detaches it’s sex organ and sends

每當到了尋找配偶的季節，這種怪異的頭足類動物會讓牠們的性器官分離出去並將這個

the dismembered member off like a heat-seeking missile.

分離的部分像熱追蹤導彈一樣發射出去。

I regret that I can find no human parallel to this behavior,

很遺憾，我無法找到具有相似行為的人類，

but let it serve as a reminder that love can be a very confusing thing indeed

但讓這件事作為一個提醒，那就是愛其實是一件非常令人困惑的事情。

So, Curiously Alone, after this list I’m sure you’ll have no trouble whatsoever finding

所以，Curiosily Alone，經過這一連串的例子，我相信你將不再有任何煩惱

the significant other of your dreams.

對於尋找你夢想中重要的另一半。

Or at least someone to watch videos with.

或至少某個能和你一起觀賞影片的人。

Above all remember that what makes human courtship so special is that it is no one thing, and

最重要的，記住是什麼使人類的求愛如此特別的是那並非一件事，

perhaps more than any animal, we all love in our own way.

也許比其他動物還要多，但我們都以自己的方式愛著。

Stay curious.

保持好奇。