A2 初級 美國腔 118 分類 收藏
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Flirting is really important because
it's about expressing your interest in someone you like
in a non-threatening and fun way
and it's easy to think that flirting is how you interact with someone in a conversation;
but it really starts from the very first impression that you make on the other person.
The trouble is that for a lot of people, flirting isn't something that comes naturally.
If I go to a bar and see a person I really like, and wanna introduce myself to them,
my brain says "alright,
good handshake, remember their name, remember your name, pick two."
Then, when things go south and I get out from the barstool to leave
and hit my erection on the countertop, I get a little bit demotivated,
but really it's important to keep in mind that:
No-one can be a smooth operator from the get go,
it definitely takes some practice.
So assuming you do manage to get through your introduction,
it's a good idea to establish some kind of physical rapport.
And a good way to do this is to touch the other person on the elbow
when you say something they find clever or funny.
In other words, you don't need to worry about it.
Now, it's pretty easy to think
"Hmm, I really like this girl, but I don't know what I should do..."
And a really good idea is to practice your empathy
by imagining you're the girl, and thinking about what you would like a guy to say to "you",
even when you're talking about something like sex,
one thing I've heard a lot from girls is
"Yeah, this guy was great, but he just finished and then fell asleep, and didn't even think about how I felt."
So, the lesson I've learned there is if you wanna be better at pleasing a woman,
you really need to think about what it's like to be fucked by a dude.
What's good about this is that because it's a thought experiment, you can do it whenever you have a free moment.
Whether you're on the bus, or at the gym,
or just bent over the kitchen counter.
So, a big part of flirting is teasing.
And this is essentially making small playful jabs at the other person
to get a positive reaction, and elevate the mood.
Imagine a girl said to me:
"So, your last video had a good amount of views. Still staying up all night refreshing the page?"
That would not be very good teasing because I'd be really worried about how she found out.
But if she said,
"Damn, have you been working out? You're really starting to fill up that extra small shirt."
That'd be good teasing, because it has been my goal for a while.
Now, the way that guys and girls express their interest is very different,
and generally the way that most girls will flirt with a guy
is by laughing a lot and touching them on the arm.
But, this is also how a lot of girls act platonically friendly,
and there's not really anyway to know which it is
until she tells you three years later when she already has a boyfriend.
On the flip side,
guys tend to flirt with a lot less nuance
and generally prefer to set up a situation where they either get a definite yes or no.
There's a few ways you can do this,
Uhm, you can explicitly ask them on a date,
go for a kiss, straight up ask them how they feel about you or just send a dick pic.
Different guys have different styles, so, do what feels right for you.
Uhm, I like to send them at breakfast,
that way, they have the whole day to respond.
Usually go for natural window lighting,
and use the macro setting, obviously.
All in all, I think everyone should put in an effort to improve their ability
to communicate honestly with someone they're interested in.
If anything, its worth making the effort.
So if you do meet that perfect person for you,
you don't miss a golden opportunity, because of a lack of confidence.
Just remember, I like to always think even if I screw up and a date goes poorly,
I can always go home that night and practice my empathy.
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想認識她卻不知如何是好?搭訕技巧學起來! (Casually Explained: Flirting)

118 分類 收藏
Annie Huang 發佈於 2020 年 2 月 24 日    Karen 翻譯    Evangeline 審核
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