Name: 是好友還是損友？10 種分辨友誼的方式 (10 Signs You Have a Toxic Friend)
Uploaded: 2020-03-27T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 5 min 14 s

情態副詞

The older we get the harder it is to not only make but keep friends close to our side.

隨著年紀的增長，我們不僅越來越難交到朋友，也很難維持友情。

And sometimes the people we least expect to let us down are those who hurt us the most.

有時候令我們失望，並傷我們最深的是那些我們最意想不到的人。

Has your friend changed into someone you no longer recognize?

當你的朋友變得讓你再也認不出來？

Do you feel more burdened instead of fulfilled in some of your friendships?

比起感到滿足，你在一段友誼中感到更多的是負擔嗎？

Here are 10 signs you may have a toxic friend.

以下有 10 種方式教你辨別損友！

1. You feel like you can't be your true self when you're with them.

1. 當你與朋友相處時不能做最真實的自己。

Friendships exist so you can grow familiar and comfortable with someone.

友誼存在的目的是為了使你與某人變得親近且相處自在。

But if they pressure you to do things you don't want to or begin to judge you for the new hobbies you develop perhaps it's time to think about where your friendship is going.

但如果他們強迫你做不喜歡的事或開始批判你的新嗜好，或許是時候想想這段友誼是否該繼續。

A real friend is someone you can be yourself with without fearing that they won't accept you.

真正的朋友是你可以在他們身邊做自己，且無須害怕自己不被接受。

2. Your communication becomes almost nonexistent.

Do they often ghost you or put minimum effort and communication?

他們常常消失許久或不努力經營這段友誼和維持聯絡嗎？

If it's always you texting or calling them first, you might want to ask yourself why it's always you initiating plans.

如果總是你傳訊息或打電話給他們，你也許會納悶為何自己總是主動的那一方。

Sometimes life gets busy and people may not be able to hang out with each other as much when they move, get new jobs or enter new relationships.

當人們搬家、找到新工作或展開新戀情時，日子會變得忙碌，而與朋友混在一起的時間不會如以往多。

But if they only seem to hang out with you when the original plans have been canceled, or just to kill time before they ditch you to hang out with others, they may only be using you for their own convenience.

但如果他們只在原先計劃取消時才約你出去，或只是為了在與別人出去玩前與你消磨時間，並隨之丟下你，那他們只是為了達到一己之便而利用你。

A toxic friend can also swing the other way and try to cross over any healthy boundaries you set for yourself.

損友也可以是另一種相反的情況，他們會嘗試跨越正常的界線。

If they want to spend every minute every day with you but get jealous when you want to hang out with your other friends, family or lover, then they aren't being respectful towards you.

如果他們想要每分每秒都與你在一起，但當你與其他朋友、家人或情人出遊時感到嫉妒，這代表他們並不尊重你。

A healthy friendship needs balance in order to sustain.

一段正常的友誼需要保持平衡才能維持長久。

Even if the two of you are best friends, too much of anything is bad for you and can be emotionally draining.

即使你們兩個是最好的朋友，過度的投入對你來說沒有好處，且可能造成情緒上的耗損。

4. You feel like you guys are competing against one another.

Are they constantly trying to one-up you?

If they can't be happy for your success, it's best to take a step back and figure out where their jealousy issues stem from.

如果他們無法對你的成功感到開心，你最好退後一步並找出他們的嫉妒心從何而來。

Friendship is built on the foundation of compassion and selflessness.

友誼是建立在側隱之心與無私之上。

If their competitive streak takes over, they might only have wanted to get closer to you to be frienemies.

如果他們被競爭意識所控制，他們接近你就只是為了當假朋友，事實上卻是你的敵人。

5. They aren't considerate of your feelings.

Sometimes you feel like you can trust them.

有時候你覺得你可以相信他們。

Other times they say a comment that takes a jab at you and it makes you wonder what they really meant by it.

其他時候他們說一些嘲諷你的言論，讓你不禁思索他們是故意還是無心的。

There's a difference between friendly sarcasm and mean remarks that teeter over the edge of bullying.

善意的嘲諷跟惡意的評論是不同的，惡意的評論與霸凌僅有一線之隔。

6. They give you a hard time for your mistakes even when you apologize.

6. 即使你已經道歉了，他們還是得理不饒人。

If they constantly bring up the past and only focus on what you've done wrong, then perhaps it's time to move forward without them.

如果他們不斷提及往事並只在意你曾做錯的事，那麼你應該往前過沒有他們的生活。

Friendships can only sustain if the two of you can grow together.

維持友誼的唯一方式就是彼此一起成長。

But if they seem to hold you back and refuse to let go of their grudges, then this will only work against your friendship instead of supporting it.

但如果他們似乎在扯你後腿並不願放下嫌隙，這只會傷害而非助長友情。

7. They are controlling and try to micromanage you rather than give you advice.

7. 與其提供建議，他們掌控欲很強並對你管東管西，

A good friend is there for you during the tough times.

好朋友會在艱難的時期陪著你。

But if your friend tries to fix you and wants to make decisions for you instead of giving you advice, then they are treating you more like a project rather than a friend.

但如果你的朋友不是給建議，而是試著修正你或想替你做決定，他們不像是對待一位朋友而是把你當做一項研究對象。

Even if they're coming from a good place and only want what's best for you, they can't live your life for you.

即使他們的出發點是好的或只是想找出對你來說最好的方案，但他們不能替你過你的人生。

8. Your friendship provides more stress than support.

8. 你的友誼提供的不是支持而是壓力。

Do you feel overwhelmed, neglected or unhappy?

你感到難以承受、被忽略或不快樂嗎？

If you feel like you're still testing your friend to see if you can trust them, then chances are your friendship isn't solidifying.

如果你仍在測試是否可以信任你的朋友，那麼有可能你們的友情還不夠穩固。

Although friendships take work and effort, they shouldn't always be stressful.

縱使你需要為友情付出努力，你不應該因此感到有壓力。

The whole point of having a good friend is being able to have fun together without trying too hard.

有一位好的朋友的要點就是你不需要太費心就可以與他一起玩樂。

9. You frequently catch them talking about you behind your back.

9. 你常常發現他們背地裡談論你。

It's normal to seek advice from people outside of your conflicting relationship.

在矛盾關係之外尋求意見是很正常的。

And when we're angry or sad, sometimes we might say things about others that we don't always mean out of frustration, but a toxic friend may gossip behind your back just because they find it satisfying or entertaining.

當生氣或難過時，我們可能會出於沮喪而說出不是出自於真心的話，但損友會僅為了滿足感或娛樂性而在背後談論你的八卦。

If you confront them about it and they continue to do it, this will only hurt you in the long run.

如果你就在他們面前而他們仍然繼續談論你，這終究只會傷害到你一人而已。

10. You forget why the two of you became friends in the first place.

10. 你忘記你們變成朋友的原因。

Do you feel like your friendship is coming to an end?

It's not fun losing friends but it's better to let go, move on, and find people who accept you for who you are, instead of putting effort in a friendship that will never work.

失去朋友不是一件有趣的事，但與其花時間在無法挽回的友誼上，我們要學著放手前進並找到願意接受真實的你的人，

Maybe at one point you guys really were friends, but those days are long gone.

或許你們曾經是朋友，但那已是陳年往事了。

Appreciate the memories you made, and make new ones with people who are willing to be there for you.

感激曾經一起創造的回憶，並與願意陪在你身旁的新朋友創造新回憶。

Please share your thoughts with us below!

Also, don't forget to subscribe for more content from Psych2go and check out our Patreon.

另外，不要忘記訂閱頻道獲取更多內容，並在 Patreon 網站上關注我們。

I just want to give a personal thank you video for you guys for always supporting Psych2go and making this all possible for us.

我想錄一段感謝視頻給一直支持頻道的你們。

Our vision is to make psychology as accessible as possible so that it promotes self-awareness and it helps you guys grow.

我們的願景是使這個頻道被更多人所熟知，讓這個頻道提昇大家的自我意識並幫助大家成長。

However, we want to make more content for you guys and would love your support and buying one of these bracelets for my partner, Introvert Pallas, check out the bracelet!

我們想為大家做更多內容，希望你們能透過購買我的夥伴 Introvert Pallas 的手鍊支持我們。

It's pretty cool and it even includes Pluto!

手鍊很酷，甚至有冥王星的圖案。

The link to purchase will all be in the description below.

購買手鍊的連結會放在資訊欄裡。

And I hope you guys have an amazing day, bye!

祝大家有一個美好的一天，掰掰！

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是好友還是損友？10 種分辨友誼的方式 (10 Signs You Have a Toxic Friend)

constantly

overwhelmed

recognize

introvert