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  • You know, I'm afraid of robots.

    我很怕機器人。

  • Yeah, I saw one get interviewed on 60 Minutes, the top journalistic program in the United States.

    我看到一個機器人在美國頂尖的新聞雜誌節目《六十分鐘》受訪。

  • And he's just sitting there, getting interviewed, not nervous at all, just rattling off all the f**king answers.

    他就坐在那裡受訪,完全不緊張,吧啦吧啦地回答所有他 X 的問題。

  • You know, not smoking, not f**king, you know, leaking oil, whatever you would do as a nervous robot, right?

    不抽煙、不漏油,隨便一些機器人緊張時才會做的事,對吧?

  • And the reporter's asking him questions, in the end he goes, "So tell us", he's like, "What are your goals?"

    記者在問他問題,最後他問了:「告訴我們吧,你的目標是什麼?」

  • And I am alone in a hotel room, and I literally lean towards the TV, I'm like, did these f**king things have goals?

    然後我獨自坐在飯店房間,整個人往電視靠過去,心裡想著「這些他 X 的東西有目標?!」

  • And the f**king robot just answers, he just goes, "Well, what are your goals?", and the robot goes, "To become smarter than human beings."

    那他 X 的機器人直接回答,主持人問:「所以你的目標是什麼?」,機器人說:「我要比人類更聰明。」

  • Yeah, and the reporter just blows by it, he's like, "Okay, and, 'what's your favorite color?'"

    記者也不鳥機器人說了什麼,又問:「喔,那你最喜歡的顏色是什麼?」

  • Meanwhile, I'm standing on my bed yelling at the TV, like, "Dude, unplug that f**king thing!"

    在那同時,我站在床上對電視大吼:「老兄,把那他 X 的玩意的插頭拔掉!」

  • "Take the batteries out!"

    「把電池拔出來!」

  • "Pull the wires out, do something!"

    「把他的電線拉出來,快點做些什麼!」

  • How many sci-fi movies do you have to see before you realize where this is going?

    要看過多少科幻電影,你才能明白這會導向哪裡?

  • So anyways, every smart person, every super-smart person in the world, is saying these f**king things are gonna kill us.

    無論如何,世界上每個超級聰明的人,都在說這些他 X 的東西會殺了我們。

  • Even your boy here, the guy who, he recently died.

    其中有個聰明的男生,最近死了。

  • What was his name?

    他叫什麼啊?

  • He was always sitting down.

    他總是坐著。

  • Hawkins, Stephen Hawkins (Hawking), yeah!

    啊,霍金啦,史蒂芬霍金!

  • Too good to f**king stand up and make his point, just sitting down all f**king smarmy.

    他根本懶得站起來說他的論點,就坐在那裡他 X 的「黏著」。

  • Oh, I care so much, I poured ice on myself!

    喔!我很在乎噢,我有玩冰桶挑戰!

  • And I showed off my abs at the same time, for the 'gram!

    為了節目,我還順便秀出我的腹肌喔!

  • Nah, I'm just f**king with you.

    沒有啦,我只是在開玩笑。

  • I am so glad that guy's f**king dead, though.

    我只是很慶幸那傢伙掛了。

  • Look at you guys, your hearthow much longer do you want him to suffer?

    看看你們,你們還想要他受苦多久?

  • You don't believe in an afterlife?

    你們不相信來生嗎?

  • Maybe he's up there now, his f**king legs work, he's getting an angelic bl**job, how much longer do you want him to f**king sit there so you can feel better about yourself?

    也許他現在在天堂,他腳能動了,有天使幫他吹喇巴,不然你們還希望他坐在那裡、讓你們自我感覺良好多久?

  • Well, at least I'm not all f**king twisted up, saying smart shit, right?

    至少我沒有心態扭曲,說些聰明的屁話,對吧?

  • I couldn't f**king stand that guy.

    我完全不能忍受霍金。

  • He was so f**king negative, he never had anything positive to say!

    他超級負面,從來沒說過正面的話!

  • Hey Steve, what have you got for us today?

    嘿史蒂芬,你有啥想告訴我們的嗎?

  • "In 2035 there'll be no more apples."

    「在 2035 年,世上不會再有蘋果了。」

  • Thank you, Steve, thanks a lot!

    噢,謝謝史蒂芬,超級感謝你!

  • Wasn't thinking about that, now I am.

    原本沒在想這件事,現在我開始想了。

  • Hey, so what's the solution?

    嘿,所以解決辦法是什麼?

  • "It's too late, we needed to try 40 years ago."

    「太晚了,我們四十年前就該嘗試了。」

  • Thanks a lot buddy, I'm gonna go cry with my child now!

    兄弟,真是謝了,我現在直接跟我小孩抱在一起哭好了!

  • Dude I could hang out with that guy for about three minutes before I took the brake off his chair and just zoomed him into the other room.

    我大概只能跟那傢伙共處三分鐘,之後就會直接把他輪椅的煞車鬆掉,把他送進另個房間。

  • Hey Steve, come back here when you got something dumb and positive to say!

    嘿史蒂芬,有又笨又正面的話說時再回來吧!

You know, I'm afraid of robots.

我很怕機器人。

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