A2 初級 美國腔 1568 分類 收藏
You know, I'm afraid of robots.
Yeah, I saw one get interviewed on 60 Minutes, the top journalistic program in the United States.
And he's just sitting there, getting interviewed, not nervous at all, just rattling off all the f**king answers.
You know, not smoking, not f**king, you know, leaking oil, whatever you would do as a nervous robot, right?
And the reporter's asking him questions, in the end he goes, "So tell us", he's like, "What are your goals?"
And I am alone in a hotel room, and I literally lean towards the TV, I'm like, did these f**king things have goals?
And the f**king robot just answers, he just goes, "Well, what are your goals?", and the robot goes, "To become smarter than human beings."
Yeah, and the reporter just blows by it, he's like, "Okay, and, 'what's your favorite color?'"
Meanwhile, I'm standing on my bed yelling at the TV, like, "Dude, unplug that f**king thing!"
"Take the batteries out!"
"Pull the wires out, do something!"
How many sci-fi movies do you have to see before you realize where this is going?
So anyways, every smart person, every super-smart person in the world, is saying these f**king things are gonna kill us.
Even your boy here, the guy who, he recently died.
What was his name?
He was always sitting down.
Hawkins, Stephen Hawkins (Hawking), yeah!
Too good to f**king stand up and make his point, just sitting down all f**king smarmy.
Oh, I care so much, I poured ice on myself!
And I showed off my abs at the same time, for the 'gram!
Nah, I'm just f**king with you.
I am so glad that guy's f**king dead, though.
Look at you guys, your heart—how much longer do you want him to suffer?
You don't believe in an afterlife?
Maybe he's up there now, his f**king legs work, he's getting an angelic bl**job, how much longer do you want him to f**king sit there so you can feel better about yourself?
Well, at least I'm not all f**king twisted up, saying smart shit, right?
I couldn't f**king stand that guy.
He was so f**king negative, he never had anything positive to say!
Hey Steve, what have you got for us today?
"In 2035 there'll be no more apples."
Thank you, Steve, thanks a lot!
Wasn't thinking about that, now I am.
Hey, so what's the solution?
"It's too late, we needed to try 40 years ago."
Thanks a lot buddy, I'm gonna go cry with my child now!
Dude I could hang out with that guy for about three minutes before I took the brake off his chair and just zoomed him into the other room.
Hey Steve, come back here when you got something dumb and positive to say!



超爆笑脫口秀主持 Bill Burr:「還好史蒂芬霍金死了」!? (Bill Burr Is Glad Stephen Hawking Is Dead | Netflix Is A Joke)

1568 分類 收藏
lauren.huang 發佈於 2020 年 2 月 20 日    lauren.huang 翻譯    adam 審核
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