Now it is an honor to be guest hosting for Ellen "Degelenergenes" (Deliberate mispronounciation of "DeGeneres")

好啦，可以幫 Ellen 代班主持是我的榮幸，你們好好享受她的大方吧！

So, but as you can see Ellen isn't here today.

如你們所見，Ellen 今天不在這裡。

I want to tell you exactly what she's going through, but you know my movie, The Hangover?

我想告訴你們她到底怎麼了，你們都知道我的電影《醉後大丈夫》吧？

You know that?

你們都知道齁？

Actually it's not that.

好啦，其實跟那沒關係。

I just wanted to plug my movie The Hangover.

我只是想置入我的電影啦！

So it's doing amazing on DVD.

現在 DVD 賣得超好！

Ellen has the day off, so obviously I was asked to fill in because apparently she and I wear the same size suit.

Ellen 請假一天，我就被邀請代班，因為很顯然地，我跟她穿同尺寸的衣服。

Actually you know what?

事實上你們知道嗎？

My wife and kids are here today in the audience.

我的太太和小孩今天在觀眾席裡。

Where are they?

他們在哪裡？

Want to give them a shout out?

我想向他們致意。

Hey!

嘿！

Look at them.

看看他們！

Oh, wow.

噢，天啊。

Look at the frown on their faces, huh?

看到他們皺眉了嗎？

All right, all right.

好啦，好啦。

I didn't force her to be here at all.

我才沒有逼她來這裡咧！

That is my wife, if you go back.

如果你們看得到的話，那是我的太太。

That's my wife Tran.

那是我太太，Tran。

And that is the apple of my eye, Alexa.

然後那是我的心肝寶貝，Alexa。

And what's your name, sweetie?

親愛的，那你叫什麼名字？

I'm kidding.

我開玩笑的啦！

Zooey.

Zooey。

Zooey.

Zooey。

Don't get mad, don't get mad.

不要生氣嘛！不要生氣喔！

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right,

好啦、好啦、好啦、好啦、好啦。

All right.

好啦。

Don't worry, we're cutting all this.

不用擔心，我們會把這裡全剪掉。

I'll be honest, I brought them here because I'm a little nervous.

我誠實說吧，我把她們帶來這裡，因為我有點緊張。

This is actually my... it's actually my first time ever hosting a talk show, so thank you, Ellen.

這其實是我第一次主持脫口秀，所以 Ellen，謝謝你。

This has been a huge honor.

這是莫大的榮幸。

I've had an amazing time.

我度過了很棒的時光。

It's been incredible.

真的很不可思議。

I have never, ever done this before, so I just gotta... I just gotta reference what I know.

我從來沒有做過這件事，所以我必須把我知道的事情先說出來。

So I'm an actor.

我是一名演員。

I'm a comedian.

也是一名喜劇演員。

And this is true.

然後這是真的。

I'm also a doctor.

我也是一名醫生。

So just for me to make me feel comfortable, I need you all to disrobe.

所以只是為了要讓我自在，你們都必須把衣服脫掉。

If that's okay.

如果可以的話啦！

No?

不要嗎？

Yeah, it's true.

是真的啦！

I was a general practitioner and I worked full time.

我是全職的全科醫生。

Actually I would... any general practitioners in the crowd?

這裡有沒有全科醫生？

Good.

很好。

Let's talk about them.

我們來談談他們吧！

General practitioners, we are the dumbest of all doctors.

全科醫生啊，我們是所有醫生裡最笨的。

All right?

好嗎？

Like in general I knew nothing, okay?

就是總體來說，我啥都不知道。

If a patient came up to me, say, doctor, what... what do I have?

如果一個病患來找我，問我：「醫生，我生什麼病？」

I don't know.

我不知道。

In general you're sick.

總體來說，你生病了。

I don't know these things.

我不知道確切來說是什麼。

I'm going to refer you to a specificicst.

我會把你交給專科醫生。

My whole point is I love doing comedy.

我的重點是，我喜歡演喜劇。

I'm living out a dream, but honestly I miss my patients, and I miss helping people.

我正在實踐夢想，不過老實說，我想念我的病患、想念幫助別人。

So today, I thought I'd help all of you out with any medical questions you may have in my segment, Ask Dr. Ken.

所以今天，我會在我的部分「問問鄭肯醫生」，為你們解決醫療問題。

Those are my real abs.

那是真的腹肌。

I had a sit-up coach.

我之前有仰臥起坐教練。

Where is Adrienne Lee?

Adrienne Lee 在哪？

My question was, why do some Asians get Asian glow, and is it dangerous?

我的問題是，為什麼有些亞洲人會得亞裔酒精反應 (喝酒會臉紅)，這危險嗎？

Got it, why do some Asians get Asian glow, or like the Asian flush if you will.

聽懂了。為什麼有些亞洲人會因為酒精臉紅，也就是「酒精臉紅症」。

Like basically it is due to a lack of an enzyme called acetaldehyde dehydrogenase, which metabolizes alcohol in the body.

基本上是因為缺少叫乙醛脫氫酶的酵素，它會代謝體內的酒精。

And when you have an accumulation of said substance, you can get that Asian glow, or in American terms looks like a tomato.

如果你體內累積酒精，就會有酒精臉紅症，而如果發生在美國人身上，看起來就會像一顆蕃茄。

So it's... and but just to be clear, I can also answer non-Asian medical questions.

但先說清楚喔，我也可以回答非亞洲相關的醫療問題。

I just wanted to throw that out there.

我只想先告訴你們。

I don't want everyone to assume that's my only area of expertise.

我不希望大家假設我的專業只在那個區塊。

So you know.

所以你們知道啦。

I help out whites.

我也幫助白人的。

Yup, yup. Thank you.

謝謝你們。

Thank you.

謝謝啦。

Thank you, Adrienne.

謝謝你，Adrienne。

Keep it real, Adrienne.

Adrienne，要做自己！

All right.

好啦。

So where is Mafa?

所以 Mafa 在哪裡？

It's actually Mafa.

其實是唸 Mafa。

Mafa.

Mafa。

That's what I said.

那就是我說的啦。

I said that.

我是那樣說的啦。

Hi Dr. Ken Jeong.

嗨，鄭肯醫生。

Hi, Mafa.

嗨，Mafa。

Hi, my question is, what is your medical opinion on medicinal use of cannabis or marijuana?

嗨，我的問題是，請問你對印度大麻和大麻在醫學上使用的看法是什麼？

Yes.

好喔。

Next question?

下個問題？

I have some more in the back of my Camry.

其實我車子後座有一些大麻。

Now, where is Huijeong Hong.

好啦，Huijeong Hong 在哪裡。

Again, this doesn't have to be an Asian question.

重申一次，不必是亞洲問題喔！

Hello Dr. Ken Jeong.

嗨，鄭肯醫生。

My question is, I'm wondering why I started to sweat only half side of my face when I eat really spicy food.

我的問題是，為什麼我吃辣的東西時，只有一邊的臉會流汗？

Excuse me for a second.

請容許我失陪一下。

Web M.D. Half my face...

醫生互聯網，查詢「半邊臉」。

Sweat...

「流汗」。

Oh, we're out of time.

喔，我們沒時間了。

Sorry, yahhh!

抱歉啦！耶！

Good job!

做得很好！