If you're someone who cares way too much about what others think of you, then this video is for you.
So pay close attention because I'm gonna show you exactly what you need to do.
Now, the reason why we care so much about what others think of us is because we humans are social animals.
Our survival has always been dependent on our ability to work together.
So whether you like it or not, because we are social animals, we subconsciously sort the people in our environment into hierarchies.
We rank everyone by their power, status, and whatever else we value from top to bottom like a pyramid.
For example, if you were working in a corporate setting, something like a typical office job.
You're gonna have a hierarchy that's sort of looks like this.
Your boss and his superiors are all the way at the top, you're over here, and the interns and people with less important positions are ranked below you.
The reason we care so much about what others think of us is because we humans are always concerned about where we currently stand in our hierarchy.
It's everyone's unconscious goal to try to secure a position closer to the top because, well, things are better up there: you get more respect, you have more power to do things, you don't have to listen to anyone else, you make more money, people like you more, the list goes on and on and on.
The point is, it's generally better to be at the top and that's why we all subconsciously try to get there.
Now, if you're at the middle or at the bottom of your hierarchy, then you're gonna care a lot about what others think of you because you need to be constantly paying attention to their reactions to make sure that you're saying and doing the right things, that you're acting quote/unquote cool enough to gain their respect and climb up the pyramid.
On the other hand, if you're near or at the top of your hierarchy, you're still gonna care a lot about what others think of you because you need to pay attention to what's happening in the group, making sure that people don't spread rumors or do things that could hurt your reputation, so that you can keep your position at the top.
So, it doesn't matter where you are in your hierarchy because either way you're still gonna care a lot about what others think of you.
It's just human nature.
Wait, so, improvement pill, does this mean that no matter what I do there's no way for me to get out of this trap?
Well, not quite.
See, there are a couple of ways you can cheat this.
But the most practical way in my opinion is what I like to call the butterfly method.
This is when like a butterfly, you fly around from social environment to social environment, from group to group, doing so will mean that you are part of many different hierarchies, not just one or two like most people, but at least four or more.
See, the more hierarchies that you are a part of, the less you will care about each one.
If you're only a part of one group then a hundred percent of your concerns will be about how high on the hierarchy you are within that one group.
But if you have two groups that you actively participate in, then your concerns become split maybe 50/50, maybe 60/40 or maybe even 70/30, depending on how much time you spend with each group.
Now it doesn't matter too much because just by having another group of people that you want an active part of, how much you care about what others think of you and either group will drop significantly.
Bump this to four or five or even six groups and you'll find yourself at a point where you don't really care that much about each group.
Yes, you're still gonna care a bit about what others think, and that's perfectly normal.
It's a part of being a human being.
But you're gonna care much, much, much less because it doesn't matter if you're not in a good position for one group, you still have five other groups.
You're living with the mindset of abundance, which is when you have an excess of something, and by simply having an abundance of social groups that you are a part of, you're gonna find yourself acting in a more relaxed and collected manner.
You're gonna find yourself treating others in the group more confidently and in a more fun and carefree way.
And because of this, you will actually climb many of these hierarchies without even trying.
Okay, so how exactly do you do this?
How does one execute the butterfly method?
Well, there are two ways to go about this.
The first is to start looking for other groups to join.
In the past, I was an avid user of the platform meetup.com.
There you can find people that share common interests and hang out with them: board games, public speaking groups, sports fanatics, you name, it they have it.
By expanding your social circle like this you will find yourself a part of many different groups.
The more groups you actively participate in, the less you will care about what others think of you in each one.
The second way you can take advantage of the butterfly method is by traveling by yourself.
When you travel to another country all on your own and socialize with the people there, you remove yourself from the hierarchies that you are normally a part of.
You're in a totally different place with totally different people.
And oftentimes, you'll start to notice yourself acting very differently.
More confidently, more carefree when you're abroad, because these are all hierarchies that you don't really care about: because the mindset is you're only there for a couple of days or weeks and you'll probably never see those people again.
By traveling so many places on your own, you end up joining and leaving dozens of different groups, and what you'll find when you eventually return home is a very different perspective on life.
You're going to have a better understanding of just how many people there are in the world, just how many groups and hierarchies you can join.
And this is the ultimate form of abundance, understanding that in a world with seven billion people, there are endless groups to join.
Now we all know caring too much about what others think is bad, but there are things that you should care about.
Things like learning, which brings us to the sponsors of today's video, Blinkist.
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One of my favorite summaries on their app that I recommend you to check out is their summary on the laws of human nature, which has recently just climbed to the top of my reading list.
It goes into detail about why we do the things that we do.