I will pay anyone here $300 for GORE-TEX gloves. Anybody. I'm serious. I have the cash.

我願意付給這裡的任何人300美元買GORE -TEX手套。誰都可以我是認真的 I'm serious.我有現金。

Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired President of the

在我開始之前，我必須指出，在我身後坐著的是一位令人敬佩的總統，他的名字是："我"。

United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has

而我，一個有線電視脫口秀節目主持人，卻在美國獲得了戰爭英雄的勳章

been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom. I pray I never witness a more damning example

被選中站在這裡，傳授智慧。我祈禱我再也不會看到比這更糟糕的例子了

of what is wrong with America today.

的美國今天的問題。

Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things:

畢業生、教員、父母、親戚、大學生，還有剛來這些事情的老人。

Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011. Today, you have achieved something special,

早上好，祝賀達特茅斯2011屆畢業生。 今天，你們已經取得了一些特別的成就。

something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma. That’s

只有92%的同齡美國人知道的東西：大學文憑。那是...

right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the

對了，憑你的大學文憑，你現在有一個壓倒性的優勢 超過8％的人。

workforce. I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.

勞動力。我'說的是像比爾-蓋茨、史蒂夫-喬布斯和馬克-扎克伯格這樣的輟學失敗者。

Incidentally, speaking of Mr. Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent

順便說一下，說到扎克伯格先生，只有在哈佛大學才會有人去發明

a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room.

一個龐大的社交網絡，只是為了和隔壁房間的人哈拉。

My first job as your commencement speaker is to illustrate that life is not fair. For

作為你們的畢業典禮演講者，我的第一項工作就是說明生活是不公平的。對於

example, you have worked tirelessly for four years to earn the diploma you’ll be receiving

例如，你經過四年的不懈努力，獲得了你即將獲得的文憑

this weekend. That was great.

這個週末。這是偉大的。

And Dartmouth is giving me the same degree for interviewing the fourth lead in Twilight.

而達特茅斯給我的學位也是一樣的，因為我面試了《暮光之城》的第四位主角。

Deal with it. Another example that life is not fair: if it does rain, the powerful rich

應對它。又如生活不公平的例子：如果真的下雨了，權貴富人

people on stage get the tent. Deal with it. I would like to thank President Kim for inviting

臺上的人拿到帳篷。 處理好了。我想感謝金會長的邀請。

me here today. After my phone call with President Kim, I decided to find out a little bit about

我今天在這裡。在和金社長通完電話後，我決定去了解一下...

the man. He goes by President Kim and Dr. Kim. To his friends, he's Jim Kim, J to the

那個人。他去由金總統和金博士。對他的朋友們來說，他是吉姆-金，對J來說，他是J

K, Special K, JK Rowling, the Just Kidding Kimster, and most puzzling, "Stinky Pete."

K，特別K，JK羅琳，Just Kidding Kimster，以及最令人費解的，"Stinky Pete.&quot。

He served as the chair of the Department of Global Health and Social Medicine at Harvard

他曾擔任哈佛大學全球健康和社會醫學系主任。

Medical School, spearheaded a task force for the World Health Organization on Global Health

醫學院，牽頭成立了世界衛生組織全球衛生工作隊。

Initiatives, won a MacArthur Genius Grant, and was one of TIME Magazine's 100 Most Influential

倡議，獲得麥克阿瑟天才獎，併入選《時代》雜誌100位最具影響力的人物。

People in 2006. Good God, man, what the hell are you compensating for? Seriously. We get

2006年的人。天啊，老兄，你到底在補償什麼？說真的，我們得到了。我們得到

it. You're smart. By the way Dr. Kim, you were brought to Dartmouth to lead, and as

你很聰明你'很聰明。順便說一下，金博士，你被帶到達特茅斯來上司，作為

a world-class anthropologist, you were also hired to figure out why each of these graduating

一個世界級的人類學家，你也受僱於人，以弄清為什麼這些畢業生中的每一個人

students ran around a bonfire 111 times. But I thank you for inviting me here, Stinky

學生繞著篝火跑了111次。但我還是要謝謝你請我來這裡，臭小子

Pete, and it is an honor. Though some of you may see me as a celebrity, you should know

皮特，這是我的榮幸。雖然你們中的一些人可能把我當成名人，但你們應該知道

that I once sat where you sit. Literally. Late last night I snuck out here and sat in

我曾經坐在你坐的地方。真的昨天深夜，我偷偷溜出來，坐在這裡

every seat. I did it to prove a point: I am not bright and I have a lot of free time.

每個座位。我這樣做是為了證明一個觀點：我不聰明，我有很多空閒時間。

But this is a wonderful occasion and it is great to be here in New Hampshire, where I

但這是一個美妙的場合，它是偉大的在這裡新罕布什爾州，在那裡我。

am getting an honorary degree and all the legal fireworks I can fit in the trunk of

我得到了一個榮譽學位和所有的法律煙花，我可以容納在後備箱中的

my car. You know, New Hampshire is such a special

我的車。你知道，新罕布什爾州是這樣一個特殊的。

place. When I arrived I took a deep breath of this crisp New England air and thought,

的地方。當我到達時，我深深地吸了一口這清新的新英格蘭空氣，想。

"Wow, I'm in the state that's next to the state where Ben and Jerry's ice cream is made."

"哇，我'在'的旁邊的州，本和傑瑞'的冰激凌的製造.&quot。

But don't get me wrong, I take my task today very seriously. When I got the call two months

但不要誤會，我對今天的任務非常重視。當我接到電話兩個月

ago to be your speaker, I decided to prepare with the same intensity many of you have devoted

我決定以你們中許多人所投入的同樣強度來準備。

to an important term paper. So late last night, I began. I drank two cans of Red Bull, snorted some Adderall,

到一篇重要的學期論文。所以昨天深夜，我開始了。我喝了兩罐紅牛，吸了一些阿德拉。

played a few hours of Call of Duty, and then opened my browser. I think Wikipedia put it

玩了幾個小時的《使命召喚》，然後打開瀏覽器。我想維基百科是這樣說的

best when they said "Dartmouth College is a private Ivy League University in Hanover,

最好的當他們說"達特茅斯學院是漢諾威的一所私立常春藤大學。

New Hampshire, United States." Thank you and good luck.

美國新罕布什爾州."謝謝你，祝你好運。

To communicate with you students today, I have gone to great lengths to become well-versed

今天，為了和各位同學交流，我費盡心思，精通了

in your unique linguistic patterns. In fact, just this morning I left Baker Berry with

在你獨特的語言模式中。事實上，就在今天早上我離開貝克貝瑞的時候

my tripee Barry to eat a Billy Bob at the Bema when my flitz to Francesca was Blitz

我的夫妻Barry在Bema吃了個Billy Bob，而我對Francesca說的是 "閃電"。

jacked by some d-bag on his FSP. Yes, I've done my research. This college was

由一些d -bag在他的FSP插孔。是的，我'已經做了我的研究。這所大學是

named after the Second Earl of Dartmouth, a good friend of the Third Earl of UC Santa

達特茅斯大學

Cruz and the Duke of the Barbizon School of Beauty. Your school motto is "Vox clamantis

克魯茲和巴比松公爵美容學校。你們的校訓是"Vox clamantis。

in deserto," which means "Voice crying out in the wilderness." This is easily the most

在deserto,"這意味著"聲音在曠野中呼喊"這是最容易。

pathetic school motto I have ever heard. Apparently, it narrowly beat out "Silently Weeping in

我聽過的可憐的校訓。顯然，它以微弱的優勢擊敗了"默默地哭泣在

Thick Shrub" and "Whimpering in Moist Leaves without Pants." Your school color is green,

厚厚的灌木"和"在潮溼的葉子裡嗚咽，沒有褲子."你的學校顏色是綠色。

and this color was chosen by Frederick Mather in 1867 because, and this is true—I looked

這個顏色是由弗雷德裡克-馬瑟在1867年選擇的，因為，這是真實的，我看著。

it up—"it was the only color that had not been taken already." I cannot remember hearing

它了-"這是唯一的顏色，還沒有采取已經."我不記得聽到

anything so sad. Dartmouth, you have an inferiority complex, and you should not. You have graduated

任何事情都是如此悲傷。達特茅斯，你有自卑感，你不應該。你已經畢業

more great fictitious Americans than any other college. Meredith Grey of Grey's Anatomy.

比任何其他學院更多偉大的虛構的美國人。格雷'解剖學》的梅雷迪斯-格雷。

Pete Campbell from Mad Men. Michael Corleone from The Godfather. In fact, I look forward

《狂人》裡的皮特-坎貝爾《教父》裡的Michael Corleone事實上，我期待著

to next years' Valedictory Address by your esteemed classmate, Count Chocula. Of course,

尊敬的同學喬庫拉伯爵的告別演說。當然了

your greatest fictitious graduate is Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. Man, can you imagine

你最偉大的虛構畢業生是財政部長蒂莫西・蓋特納。夥計，你能想象嗎？

if a real Treasury Secretary made those kinds of decisions? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

如果一個真正的財政部長做出這樣的決定？哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

ha. Now I know what you're going to say, Dartmouth, you're going to say, well "We've got Dr. Seuss."

哈。現在我知道你'會說什麼，達特茅斯，你'會說，好吧"我們'有蘇斯博士。

Well guess what, we're all tired of hearing about Dr. Seuss. Face it: The man rhymed fafloozle

好吧，你猜怎麼著，我們'都聽膩了蘇斯博士。面對它。這個人押韻fafloozle。

with saznoozle. In the literary community, that's called cheating.

與saznoozle。在文學界，這叫作弊。

Your insecurity is so great, Dartmouth, that you don't even think you deserve a real podium.

你的不安全感是如此之大，達特茅斯，你甚至不'認為你不值得一個真正的講臺。

I'm sorry. What the hell is this thing? It looks like you stole it from the set of Survivor:

對不起 I'm sorry.這到底是什麼東西？看起來像是你從《倖存者》的片場偷來的。

Nova Scotia. Seriously, it looks like something a bear would use at an AA meeting.

新斯科舍省。說真的，它看起來像一隻熊在AA制會議上會用的東西。

No, Dartmouth, you must stand tall. Raise your heads high and feel proud.

不，達特茅斯，你必須昂首挺胸。抬起你們的頭，感到驕傲。

Because if Harvard, Yale, and Princeton are your self-involved, vain, name-dropping older

因為如果哈佛、耶魯、普林斯頓是你的自娛自樂、虛榮心強、罵人的老年

brothers, you are the cool, sexually confident, lacrosse playing younger sibling who knows

兄弟們，你是酷，性自信，長曲棍球玩的弟弟妹妹誰知道

how to throw a party and looks good in a down vest. Brown, of course, is your lesbian sister who

如何舉辦派對，穿上羽絨馬甲也很好看。 布朗，當然，是你的拉拉妹妹，她是誰？

never leaves her room. And Penn, Columbia, and Cornell—well, frankly, who gives a shit.

從來沒有離開過她的房間。賓夕法尼亞大學、哥倫比亞大學和康奈爾大學... 坦白說，誰在乎呢？

Yes, I've always had a special bond with this school. In fact, this is my second time coming

是的，我'一直與這所學校有著特殊的感情。事實上，這是我第二次來

here. When I was 17 years old and touring colleges, way back in the fall of 1980, I

這裡。當我17歲的時候，在大學巡迴演出的時候，早在1980年的秋天，我... ...

came to Dartmouth. Dartmouth was a very different place back then. I made the trip up from Boston

來到達特茅斯。達特茅斯當時是一個非常不同的地方。我做了一趟從波士頓

on a mule and, after asking the blacksmith in West Leb for directions, I came to this

騎著騾子，在向西萊布的鐵匠問了路之後，我來到了這裡。

beautiful campus. No dormitories had been built yet, so I stayed with a family of fur

美麗的校園。當時還沒有建宿舍，所以我住在一戶皮草

traders in White River Junction. It snowed heavily during my visit and I was trapped

白河路口的商販。我去的時候下了很大的雪，我被困住了。

here for four months. I was forced to eat the mule, who a week earlier had been forced

在這裡呆了四個月。我被迫吃了那頭騾子，一個星期前他還被迫

to eat the fur traders. Still, I loved Dartmouth and I vowed to return.

吃皮草商。不過，我還是喜歡達特茅斯，我發誓要回來。

But fate dealt a heavy blow. With no money, I was forced to enroll in a small, local commuter

但命運卻給了我沉重的打擊。在沒有錢的情況下，我被迫報考了當地的一所小規模的通勤學校。

school, a pulsating sore on a muddy elbow of the Charles River. I was a miserable wretch,

學校，一個脈動的瘡 在查爾斯河泥濘的肘部。我是一個可憐的可憐蟲。

and to this day I cannot help but wonder: What if I had gone to Dartmouth?

直到今天，我不禁想知道。如果我去了達特茅斯會怎樣？

If I had gone to Dartmouth, I might have spent at least some of my college years outside

如果我去了達特茅斯，我可能會花 至少一些我的大學幾年外，

and today I might not be allergic to all plant life, as well as most types of rock.

而今天，我可能對所有的植物生命以及大多數類型的岩石都不過敏。

If I had gone to Dartmouth, right now I'd be wearing a fleece thong instead of a lace

如果我去了達特茅斯，現在我'會穿著羊毛丁字褲，而不是一個花邊的

thong. If I had gone to Dartmouth, I still wouldn't

丁字褲。如果我去了達特茅斯，我仍然不會'。

know the second verse to "Dear Old Dartmouth." Face it, none of you do. You all mumble that

知道第二節到"親愛的老達特茅斯."面對它，沒有一個你做。你們都在喃喃自語

part. If I had gone to Dartmouth, I'd have a liver

部分。如果我去了達特茅斯，我就會有一個肝。

the size and consistency of a bean bag chair. Finally, if I had gone to Dartmouth, today

大小和一致性 一個豆袋椅。最後，如果我已經去了達特茅斯，今天

I'd be getting an honorary degree at Harvard. Imagine how awesome that would be.

我會得到哈佛大學的榮譽學位。想象一下，這將是多麼的棒。

You are a great school, and you deserve a historic commencement address. That's right,

你們是一所偉大的學校，你們應該有一個歷史性的畢業典禮致辭。沒錯 That's right,

I want my message today to be forever remembered because it changed the world. To do this,

我希望我今天的資訊能被永遠記住，因為它改變了世界。要做到這一點，

I must suggest groundbreaking policy. Winston Churchill gave his famous "Iron Curtain" speech

我必須提出突破性的政策。溫斯頓-丘吉爾發表了他著名的"鐵幕"演講

at Westminster College in 1946. JFK outlined his nuclear disarmament policy at American

1946年在威斯敏斯特學院。肯尼迪在美國大學概述了他的核裁軍政策。

University in 1963. Today, I would like to set forth my own policy here at Dartmouth:

1963年的大學。今天，我想闡述一下我自己在達特茅斯的政策。

I call it "The Conan Doctrine." Under "The Conan Doctrine":

我把它叫做"柯南學說."下"柯南學說"。

- All bachelor degrees will be upgraded to master's degrees. All master's degrees will

- 所有的學士學位都將升級為碩士'學位。所有碩士'學位將

be upgraded to PhDs. And all MBA students will be immediately transferred to a white

被提升為博士。而所有MBA學員將立即轉入白

collar prison. - Under "The Conan Doctrine," Winter Carnival

領監獄。- 根據"柯南學說，"冬季狂歡節。

will become Winter Carnivale and be moved to Rio. Clothing will be optional, all expenses

將成為冬季狂歡節並移師里約。衣服是可選的，所有費用

paid by the Alumni Association. - Your nickname, the Big Green, will be changed

由校友會支付。- 你的綽號 "大綠 "將被改成 "大綠"。

to something more kick-ass like "The Jade Blade," the "Seafoam Avenger," or simply "Lime-Zilla."

到一些更踢屁股的東西，如"翡翠之刃""海泡石復仇者"或者乾脆就是"Lime-Zilla.&quot。

- The D-Plan and "quarter system" will finally be updated to "the one sixty-fourth system."

- D-Plan和"四分之一系統"將最終更新為"一六四系統&quot。

Semesters will last three days. Students will be encouraged to take 48 semesters off. They

學期將持續三天。將鼓勵學生休學48個學期。他們

must, however, be on campus during their Sophomore 4th of July.

但必須在大二國慶節期間在校園內。

- Under "The Conan Doctrine," I will re-instate Tubestock. And I will punish those who tried

- 根據"柯南學說，"我將重新啟用管家婆。而我將懲罰那些試圖

to replace it with Fieldstock. Rafting and beer are a much better combination than a

來取代它的Fieldstock。漂流和啤酒是一個更好的組合，而不是一個。

field and a beer. I happen to know that in two years, they were going to downgrade Fieldstock

場和啤酒。我碰巧知道，兩年後，他們要把田園牧歌降級。

to Deskstock, seven hours of fun sitting quietly at your desk. Don't let those bastards do

到Deskstock，七個小時的樂趣安靜地坐在你的辦公桌上。不要讓那些混蛋做。

it. And finally, under "The Conan Doctrine," all

它。最後，在"柯南學說"下，所有。

commencement speakers who shamelessly pander with cheap, inside references designed to

開學典禮上的演講者無恥地用廉價的內部參考資料來迎合，目的在於

get childish applause, will be forced to apologize—to the greatest graduating class in the history

獲得幼稚的掌聲，將被迫向歷史上最偉大的畢業班道歉。

of the world. Dartmouth class of 2011 rules! Besides policy, another hallmark of great

的世界。達特茅斯2011級的規則!除了政策，偉大的另一個標誌是

commencement speeches is deep, profound advice like "reach for the stars." Well today, I

畢業典禮演講是深刻的，深刻的建議，如"達到的明星"今天，我

am not going to waste your time with empty clichés. Instead, I am going to give you

我不會用空洞的陳詞濫調來浪費你的時間。相反，我要給你

real, practical advice that you will need to know if you are going to survive the next

真正的、實用的建議，你需要知道，如果你要在接下來的日子裡生存。

few years. - First, adult acne lasts longer than you

幾年。- 首先，成人痘的持續時間比你的

think. I almost cancelled two days ago because I had a zit on my eye.

想。我前兩天因為眼睛上長了個痘痘，差點就取消了。

- Guys, this is important: You cannot iron a shirt while wearing it.

- 夥計們，這一點很重要：你不能一邊穿襯衫一邊熨燙。

- Here's another one. If you live on Ramen Noodles for too long, you lose all feelings

- 這裡還有一個。如果你吃拉麵吃得太久，你就會失去所有的感覺。

in your hands and your stool becomes a white gel.

拿在手裡，大便就會變成白色的凝膠。

- And finally, wearing colorful Converse high-tops beneath your graduation robe is a great way

- 最後，在你的畢業袍下穿上五顏六色的匡威高跟鞋是一個很好的方式。

to tell your classmates that this is just the first of many horrible decisions you plan

告訴你的同學，這只是你計劃中的第一個可怕的決定

to make with the rest of your life. Of course there are many parents here and

以使與你的餘生。當然，這裡有很多家長和

I have real advice for them as well. Parents, you should write this down:

我也有實實在在的建議給他們。家長們，你們應該把這個寫下來。

- Many of your children you haven't seen them in four years. Well, now you are about to

- 你的很多孩子你已經四年沒有見到他們了。好了，現在你即將

see them every day when they come out of the basement to tell you the wi-fi isn't working.

看到他們每天當他們出來的地下室告訴你的Wi-Fi不工作。

- If your child majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only

- 如果你的孩子主修的是美術或哲學，你有充分的理由擔心。唯一的

place where they are now really qualified to get a job is ancient Greece. Good luck

他們現在真正有資格找工作的地方是古希臘。運氣好

with that degree. - The traffic today on East Wheelock is going

有了這個度。- 今天東會德豐路上的交通

to be murder, so once they start handing out diplomas, you should slip out in the middle

是謀殺，所以一旦他們開始發文憑，你就應該從中間溜走。

of the K's. And, I have to tell you this:

的K's。而且，我必須要告訴你。

- You will spend more money framing your child's diploma than they will earn in the next six

- 你花在裱糊你孩子的文憑上的錢，會比他們未來6年的收入還要多。

months. It's tough out there, so be patient. The only people hiring right now are Panera

幾個月。外面很艱難，所以要有耐心。現在只有Panera公司在招人。

Bread and Mexican drug cartels. Yes, you parents must be patient because it

麵包和墨西哥販毒集團。是的，你們的父母一定要有耐心，因為

is indeed a grim job market out there. And one of the reasons it's so tough finding work

確實是一個嚴峻的就業市場在那裡。而其中一個原因就是它'找工作如此艱難

is that aging baby boomers refuse to leave their jobs. Trust me on this. Even when they promise you for five years

是老齡化的嬰兒潮一代拒絕離開他們的工作。相信我這一點。 即使他們承諾你五年

that they are going to leave—and say it on television—I mean you can go on YouTube

他們要離開，並在電視上說，我的意思是，你可以去在YouTube上。

right now and watch the guy do it, there is no guarantee they won't come back. Of course

現在，看著這個傢伙做，不能保證他們不會'回來。當然了

I'm speaking generally. But enough. This is not a time for grim prognostications

我&39;是泛泛而談。但已經夠了。這不是一個嚴峻的預言的時候。

or negativity. No, I came here today because, believe it or not, I actually do have something

或負面情緒。不，我今天來這裡是因為，不管你信不信，我真的有一些東西

real to tell you. Eleven years ago I gave an address to a graduating

真實的告訴你。十一年前，我給一個即將畢業的學生做了一次演講

class at Harvard. I have not spoken at a graduation since because I thought I had nothing left

哈佛大學的課。從那以後，我再也沒有在畢業典禮上發言，因為我覺得我沒有什麼可說的了。

to say. But then 2010 came. And now I'm here, three thousand miles from my home, because

來說。但後來2010年來了。現在我在這裡，離家三千里，因為...

I learned a hard but profound lesson last year and I'd like to share it with you. In

去年，我學到了一個艱難而深刻的教訓，我'想和你分享。在

2000, I told graduates "Don't be afraid to fail." Well now I'm here to tell you that,

2000年，我告訴畢業生們"不要害怕失敗"好吧，現在我在這裡告訴你。

though you should not fear failure, you should do your very best to avoid it. Nietzsche famously said "Whatever doesn't

雖然你不應該害怕失敗，但你應該盡力避免失敗。 尼采說過一句名言"無論什麼事情都不'。

kill you makes you stronger." But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.

殺死你使你更強大."但他沒有強調的是，它幾乎殺死你。

Disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting.

失望很刺眼，對於像你們這樣有動力的成功人士來說，它是迷茫的。

What Nietzsche should have said is "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of

尼采應該說的是"凡是不殺你的東西，都會讓你看很多。

Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning."

卡通頻道，早上11點喝平價夏多內酒。

Now, by definition, Commencement speakers at an Ivy League college are considered successful.

現在，根據定義，常春藤大學的開學典禮演講被認為是成功的。

But a little over a year ago, I experienced a profound and very public disappointment.

但一年多前，我經歷了一次深刻的、非常公開的失望。

I did not get what I wanted, and I left a system that had nurtured and helped define

我沒有得到我想要的東西，我離開了一個培養和幫助定義的系統。

me for the better part of 17 years. I went from being in the center of the grid to not

我在17年中的大部分時間。我從在網格的中心到不

only off the grid, but underneath the coffee table that the grid sits on, lost in the shag

只不過是在網格之外，但在網格所處的茶几下面，迷失在長毛毯中。

carpeting that is underneath the coffee table supporting the grid. It was the making of

地毯，是茶几下面的支撐格局。這是製作

a career disaster, and a terrible analogy. But then something spectacular happened. Fogbound,

職業生涯的災難，和一個可怕的類比。但後來發生了一些壯觀的事情。霧封。

with no compass, and adrift, I started trying things. I grew a strange, cinnamon beard.

沒有指南針，漂流，我開始嘗試一些事情。我長出了奇怪的桂花鬍子。

I dove into the world of social media. I started tweeting my comedy. I threw together a national

我進入了社交媒體的世界。我開始在推特上發佈我的喜劇。我組建了一個全國性的

tour. I played the guitar. I did stand-up, wore a skin-tight blue leather suit, recorded

巡演。我彈吉他我做了站立，穿著緊身的藍色皮衣，錄製。

an album, made a documentary, and frightened my friends and family. Ultimately, I abandoned

一張專輯，拍了一部紀錄片，嚇壞了我的朋友和家人。最終，我放棄了

all preconceived perceptions of my career path and stature and took a job on basic cable

所有對我的職業道路和地位的先入為主的看法，並在基本的有線電視上找到了一份工作。

with a network most famous for showing reruns, along with sitcoms created by a tall, black

與一個網絡最著名的播放重播， 以及情景喜劇創造了一個高大的，黑色的。

man who dresses like an old, black woman. I did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous

穿得像個老黑女人的男人。我做了很多愚蠢的， 非傳統的，自發的。

and seemingly irrational things and guess what: with the exception of the blue leather

和看似不合理的事情，你猜怎麼著：除了藍色的皮鞋之外

suit, it was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life. To this day I still don't understand exactly

西裝，這是我職業生活中最滿意、最迷人的一年。 直到今天，我仍然不明白究竟

what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged—and this is important—had