Oh, yeah, I remember that from "The Lion King".

我記得在「獅子王」中看過。

No, in my real life.

不，我是指在我的生活中。

You guys still feel like going out?

你們還想一起出去玩嗎？

(confirmation noises)

(一致同意)

Oh, okay, good.

喔，那就好。

Okay, I know where a bar just opened up.

我知道一家新開的酒吧。

Ooo, we should do a game night.

噢，我覺得我們應該來場遊戲之夜。

Oh, my God, I love game night!

天啊，我超愛遊戲之夜的。

Ooo, yes!

沒錯。

That would be so fun, I can pick up some sodas!

那一定會很有趣，我可以順便買幾瓶汽水。

Of course.

當然。

What's wrong, Grant?

Grant，你怎麼了嗎？

I think sometimes people in relationships forget what's fun for single people.

我覺得有時候脫魯的人忘記那些對於單身的人來說有趣的事了。

You don't like game night?

你不喜歡遊戲之夜嗎？

It's not that I don't like them, it's that I never meet anyone at them.

不是我不喜歡，是我不能遇見新的人。

I'm sorry you're so, so sad, Grant.

我很抱歉你那麼難過。

I'm mean, I'm sure we can figure out something, right?

我想我們可以想出別的方案對吧？

You know, when I'm sad, I like to go to the movies.

當我難過的時候，我喜歡去看電影。

Hey, yeah, we should see something.

沒錯，我們應該看部電影。

They're so expensive.

電影太貴了啦！

What if we did Netflix at my place instead?

不然來我家看 Netflix？

Ooo, they have all the old Jeopardy!

Netflix 有以前的節目「危險邊緣」。

Yes!

沒錯！

That would be fun!

那會很有趣。

- And you understand, though, that that's the same problem. - That's the same problem.

- 但你知道，這有一樣的問題。- 一樣的問題。

Oh, we're still at the house, okay.

我們仍然待在屋內。

It's just so fun.

那很有趣。

(laughs)

(笑聲)

It's, uh, I'm sure.

嗯，當然。

Gosh, it just must be that we're all so happy and satisfied and in love.

一定是因為我們太幸福美滿且沉浸在愛情裡。

Gosh, it must be.

一定是。

Yeah, I think that that's it.

沒錯，應該是如此。

We've, like, retired needing to go out all the time, you know.

我們已經從每晚到處趴趴走的生活退休了，你知道嗎。

Get dressed up and, like, peacock for attention or sing myself to have a good time, how pathetic I was back when I was single like "Please give me attention!"

盛裝打扮然後像孔雀求偶一樣需要關注，或默默唱歌讓自己開心點，我單身時好可悲，感覺像是乞求別人注意我。

Lowering my standards just to cover over my pain for a night.

為了掩蓋痛苦而降低我的標準，求一個晚上的歡樂。

"Will you call, will you call?"

「你會打給我嗎？會嗎？」

Like, who cares?

誰在乎啊？

Cool, cool, cool, yeah.

酷酷酷，好喔。

I guess we can go to a bar.

那我們去酒吧好了。

Great, there's one downtown that I think we can all get into.

太棒了，我們可以去一家位於市區的酒吧。

The one next door has puzzles!

拼圖店旁邊的那一家！

Oh, that's so fun!

那很有趣！

Even better idea.

拼圖甚至是更好的選擇。

We can go to my house because I just got a brand-new puzzle and we can get into our pjs!

可以來我家，因為我剛買一組新拼圖，而且我們可以穿著睡衣玩！

Yes, I'll bring soda!

好，我可以帶汽水去。

Then we don't even need to go outside.

我們待在室內就好。

It's 7:30 on a Friday.

現在是星期五的晚上 7:30 耶。

Almost bedtime.

接近上床睡覺的時間。

Oh, yeah, if I don't get 10 hours, I get cranky.

沒錯，沒睡滿 10 小時我會小暴躁。

How about we at least start where there are other people?

不如我們至少以有別人的地方為前提，來想想可以去哪裡玩？

What if the music's loud?

如果那裡音樂很吵呢？

Or if it's, like, too crowded?

或者太擠？

Or they won't let me wear my comfy clothes?

或是他們不讓我穿舒服的衣服？

I should go home and change into my comfy clothes.

我應該回家換上舒適的衣服。

We should just go to Lily's.

我們應該去 Lily 家。

- Oh, I did it again. - You did it again.

- 噢，又來了。 - 又來了。

Look, it's hard enough to meet someone without my friends turning into retirees the minute they get into relationships.

聽好，認識新朋友已經是不容易的事，更別說我的朋友們在脫魯後就立馬轉為退休模式。

Just go out with your single friends.

那你就跟其他單身的朋友一起出去啊！

I mean, what would it say about you if all your friends were in relationships and you were the only single one left?

我是說如果你所有朋友都脫魯了，而只剩下你一個人單身？

Oh, dear.

完了。

Okay, we must have something in common, right?

我們一定有能達成共識的方案對吧？

Like, how about, a farmers market!

例如去農夫市集？

We can go on a dawn hike.

我們可以在清晨時爬山。

Oh, or—you'll love this!

或你會喜歡這個！

A weekend getaway in a remote cabin with just cozy sweaters!

找一個週末，穿著舒適的毛衣去偏遠的小木屋度假。

Oh my God, yes!

天啊，好主意！

Look, I get it, okay.

聽好，你們的好意我心領了。

You all won.

你們贏了。

You're finished with life, but I'm still out here alone in (beep).

你們人生完整了，我卻還是孤身一人。

I'd love to have a Netflix Friday or to go do a puzzle, but I can't, because I have to go where there are other single people or I will die alone!

我很想在星期五之夜看 Netflix 或玩拼圖，但我得去其他可以認識人的地方，不然我就要一輩子孤獨終老！

Now, I know the view from your ivory tower must be peachy, but I have boots on the ground and I need backup!

我知道來自你們象牙塔的意見很棒，但我是腳踏實地的人，我需要支援。

Okay, we'll do a single-person's night.

好啦，我們來辦個單身狗之夜。

Hell, yeah.

好極了。

What am I doing wrong?

我做錯什麼？

- Nothing, you're doing nothing wrong. - What am I doing wrong, I'm ugly!

- 沒有，你沒有錯。 - 我做錯什麼，我太醜了！

No.

沒有啦。

I'm ugly!

我好醜！

No, you're not.

不，你不醜。

Hey, it's Grant.

我是 Grant。

If you like College Humor and want to support us, sign up for Dropout.

如果你喜歡這個頻道並想支持我們，就去Dropout 註冊吧。

For the low price of .005% of my student loan debt, you'll get shows like "Total Forgiveness" where I do stunts to try to pay for down said student debt.

只要我學貸的 0.005% 的價格，你就可以看到如 "Total Forgiveness" 的節目，在節目中我為了付清學貸而表演特技。

Access to an exclusive Dropout Discord where I'll talk about college loans, and sketches a full week earlier, like this one about my student loans.

取得獨家的 Dropout Discord，不僅可以聽我在那裡談論大學貸款，還可以提前一週觀看幽默短劇，例如這部影片是關於我的學生貸款。

Oh, I studied acting.

我學過演戲。

You took out loans to study acting?

你為了學演戲而貸款？

It's my one thing.

這是關於我的一件事。

That's, it's my whole deal.

其實，這是關於我的一切。

Sign up for your free trial today.

今天就註冊免費試用吧。

Then pay after that.

體驗過後再付費。

I, I need it.

我，我很需要。