I'm a huge fan.

我是超級粉絲。

And I'm a huge fan of yours.

我也是妳的超級粉絲。

I think you're so funny, for years and years, and sweet, and sexy, and funny.

我覺得妳很幽默，一直都是，又很貼心、性感和好笑。

Oh, well.

噢，好的。

I'm wearing your glasses you sent me.

我戴著妳寄給我的眼鏡。

Don't you just love them?

妳是不是很愛它們？

I love them.

我愛它們。

You said that you love Nicki Minaj, right?

妳說妳愛 Nicki Minaj 對嗎？

Yeah.

對。

Do you want to meet her?

妳想見她嗎？

Yes!

要！

Come on out, Nicki.

出來吧， Nicki 。

I'm a second Nicki Minaj!

我是第二個 Nicki Minaj ！

Am I, am I still intact?

我還是完整的嗎？

Yup.

對。

I didn't change into a prince?

我沒有變成王子嗎？

No, not yet.

不，還沒。

No.

不。

I don't think I'm the one to do that for you.

我覺得我不是對的人。

Oh well.

好吧！

Aaahh!

啊！

I don't know if you know this, but I was aiming to break your record of retweets.

我不知道你知不知道，不過我的目標是打破你的轉推紀錄。

And I apologize for doing it, but I broke your retweet record.

我很抱歉我這麼做，但我打破你的轉推紀錄了。

I heard about that.

我有聽說。

I thought it was a pretty cheap stunt, myself.

我個人覺得妳那是奸詐的小伎倆。

Yeah, right.

是齁。

That's a good stretch, yep.

這是很好的伸展操，對。

This is a traffic report.

這是一則交通報導。

But you're going to read it as a woman in labor.

但妳必須以一個準備生產的孕婦去唸它。

Oh, well, let's take a look at your Tuesday drive.

噢，好，我們來看看星期二的路況。

Got a jackknife, big rig in the two-lane.

有一起發生在雙車道道路的聯結、半掛式卡車事故。

101, westbound at Balboa.

在巴爾博亞， 101 向西行的快速道路。

Oh!

噢！

Oh!

噢！

What's your favorite swear word?

你最喜歡的髒話是什麼？

[BLEEP]

(髒話)。

If they made a movie about your life, what would it be called?

如果你的人生被做成一部電影，它的名稱會叫做什麼？

Oh (bleep).

噢 (消音)。

Wait, am I seeing wheatgrass there?

等等，那邊那個是小麥草嗎？

-Wait, am I seeing wheatgrass anywhere?

等等，哪邊可以看到小麥草嗎？

No, yeah, wheatgrass...

對，是，那是小麥草...

Oh.

噢。

Take out some scissors from your purse.

從妳的包包拿出剪刀。

I would like... and just start chopping some.

我想要一些，然後就開始剪一些起來。

Can I chop some off?

我可以剪一些嗎？

Thank you.

謝謝。

All right, put it in your mouth.

好，放到妳的嘴巴裡。

Put it in your mouth and chew on it.

放在妳的嘴巴裡然後開始咬。

This is so good.

這太棒了。

This is so good.

這太棒了。

That is really good, actually.

這其實還蠻好吃的。

Boy.

天啊！

What color do you want?

妳要什麼顏色？

Green.

綠色。

The donkey bucked my mom.

那頭驢子跳過了我媽媽。

What?

什麼？

The donkey did what to your mom?

那頭驢子對妳媽做了什麼？

The donkey...

那頭驢子...

Uh-huh.

嗯哼。

...bucked my...

...跳過了我的...

No.

不。

Your donkey did not do that.

妳的驢子並沒有這麼做。

Melons.

是哈密瓜。

Melons.

哈密瓜。

Here, hold one.

來，拿著它。

Hold on.

等等。

Hold it.

拿好。

Hold it.

拿好。

Come on, come on.

來吧，來吧。

And hold the other one.

再拿一個。

Yeah.

好。

Hold on while I get a picture.

等等，我要來拍照。

OK.

好。

Hold on.

等等。

I'm sorry.

抱歉。

I'm kind of distracted right now.

我現在有點分心。

I just... I just...

我只是... 只是...

Hey, Ellen.

嗨， Ellen 。

Hi, Brad, what are you doing?

嗨， Brad ，你在做什麼？

Don't mind me.

不要理我。

I just came to see the show.

我只是來看節目的。

Great show, by the way, so far.

順道一提，目前節目不錯。

You're killing it.

妳做得很好。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

You're welcome that... you want to come sit down here?

我很歡迎...你要不要來前面坐下。

No, I'm good.

不用，我很好。

And you continuously find these moments to make everybody feel that much better.

妳一直找尋讓大家感受到正能量的時刻。

I'm amazing.

我實在太棒了。

I'm amazing.

我實在太棒了。

I'm amazing.

我實在太棒了。

You're my happy place.

妳是我的快樂天堂。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

This is my happy place.

這是我的快樂天堂。

Ellen! Ellen! Ellen! Ellen!

艾倫！艾倫！艾倫！艾倫！

Me! Me! Me! Me!

我！我！我！我！